About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • bitchincamaro

    Poor melonhead. Cannot laugh. Must cry now.

  • slavojzizek

    Their headline is “A Bush is President of Everything”. It’s like Wonkette has taken over the world!

  • ManchuCandidate

    His girlfriend is named Laura… or KarL?

  • chascates

    Oh, the humanity!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235351]chascates[/re]: THAT CHILD IS THE FIRST OF THE HORSEMAN OBAMA BROUGHT WITH HIM. WE ARE DOOMED.

  • sevenrepeat

    is he the first black president? that would be history in the making!

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    George Bush does not care about Black people.

  • CussingNews

    I can dig the irony, but really, there is a serious social problem here. It’s called Welfare Day Care for Adults. I’ve had better luck training monkeys than they are having at educating niggers.

  • CussingNews

    hey kike jews, how about stop being so nigger centric? So sick of you fucking jews. See you in hell kikes.

  • CussingNews

    P.S. FUCK YOU KEN! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! GO GET A NOSE OPERATION SO THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TO BE WHITE AND RUN NIGGER STORIES ON THIS WASHED UP GHETTO ASS NIGGER MAXI PAD DOUCHE BAG RAG. FUCK YOU KIKES!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235361]CussingNews[/re]: [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: [re=235365]CussingNews[/re]:

    BRING OUT THE BAN HAMMER. Holy shit.

  • Styrofoam Boots

    I’m Jewish and I’m offended by the word “n**ger”. See, I can’t even type it.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235361]CussingNews[/re]: Fuck you.
    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: Fuck you.
    [re=235365]CussingNews[/re]: Fuck you.

    Your grammar shows that your school (DUH WHA SKOOL???/?.?>???) would probably have an easier time training a monkey. You are a cretinous shit-stain.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Seeing this guy named George Bush reminds me of all those Cubans named Vladimir, etc. Totalitarian states aren’t as everlasting as they used to be, are they? And neither are communist ones.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=235367]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Geeze — when did O’Reilly link to Wonkette?

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=235365]CussingNews[/re]: whoa! so i guess ken isn’t a girl any more.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235373]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That was a particular form of crazy. Like a bulldozer of crazy that drives around the cyberwebs looking for a place to dump. I can’t even give it troll status.

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    [re=235361]CussingNews[/re]: Hey Morph-o-Dite, the E.P.A. would like you to empty the contents of your skull at the nearest superfund site.

  • CthuNHu

    Yes, it has been far too long since we had a commenter smiting. I’m glad I kept my plastic poncho from that Gallagher show.

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: also, see you in hell? you will be in hell, but good luck waiting for any of us to show up after you’ve brought the tone of the place down.

  • Gopherit

    [re=235365]CussingNews[/re]: Dude, you spooked shorts. GTFO.

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    I was not aware that stormfront had a ‘wonkette appreciation day’

  • JeffGoldblum

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: I would like to learn more about your views on everything. Please continue indefinitely.

  • CussingNews

    Hey, it don’t have anything to do with any of the rest of you mongoloids and negroids… but that kike ran his mouth about the wrong people… when we see you… you’ll be wearing your big jew nose on the other side of your head kike!

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    [re=235379]slinkimalinki[/re]: Ha! Ha!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Hahaha TROLL STATUS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED:
    http://thecussingnews.blogspot.com/

    Right on.

  • Worlds End

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: GTFO you little pathetic prick

  • ToeCramps

    George Bush is the president of horse shit! You know, back in Crawford, TX? Hey, who’s this black dude? I’m sure the RNC is so damn confused right now! Too many teh blacks!

  • hockeymom

    I feel kind of violated. Ick.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=235382]Gopherit[/re]: No, no. I’m pretty sure he was being *ironic*. Heh.

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: “…ran his mouth about the wrong people”? shit! you from confluence?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235384]JeffGoldblum[/re]: WIN.

  • PerhapsSo

    [re=235367]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Quick, get the popcorn! I’m excited for a proper banning.

  • JeffGoldblum

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: That doesn’t make sense physiologically or logically. Are you using the royal WE or are you referring to some band of ruffians that you have riled up and brought down to the local library to use the interwebs? Also, who the fuck are you talking about? Please reply to all of these questions in English and Spanish. Thank you.

  • Worlds End

    [re=235388]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: ha

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]:

    I see, that’s facinating. And do you have an opinion on the PUMAs?

    Also, thoughts on butt secks would be appreciated. Also.

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    [re=235377]ServiceJervixJuice[/re]: Aww, shit…

    Morphodites everywhere, please accept my apologies. I withdraw my name from consideration for the appointment.

  • CthuNHu

    CussingNews is just a little upset right now because his mom’s got that whole meth arrest thing going on, and someone else grabbed the Wonkette name FuckinRedneck that he had his heart set on.

    Also that he’s named after a pair of pants made by a Jewish guy from San Francisco.

  • Hound

    Who wants to bet Cussing News is actually David Denby?

  • Gopherit

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: Do you have a newsletter? Something I can leave at my local churches and detist offices?

  • Styrofoam Boots

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: Wait. So, Ken actually is Jewish?!

    … GIT’EM!!!! WOOOOOOOO WOO [various pig noises] WOOOOOOO!!!

    … [Ass-rape]

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235361]CussingNews[/re]: U HAZ A MAD!!!1!

  • ToeCramps

    [re=235365]CussingNews[/re]: What fukn RNC planet are you from? You keep it up with this dookie brain spew & we’ll find your ass & put you in the bathroom with Larry Craig! Oh, you’d like that?

  • josereyes.theroof

    This little bit of whimsy, marred by CussingNews. At least there’s truth in advertising, with respect his name.

  • grendel

    [re=235388]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Wow… its web design skillz are almost as bad as its grammar, spelling, and level of intelligence.

  • Terry

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]:

    Your mom is calling you. Dinner is ready. It’s mac and cheese night.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I hate these alternate-universe stories.

  • Terry

    [re=235402]Hound[/re]:

    I was guessing it was George W. Bush actually. He’s sitting alone in that house in Dallas, drinking light beer, watching ESPN, and surfing the web.

  • Mavky

    I’d say it’s time for the FBI cyberspies to do something besides hang out on teenage girl chats and go after a certain violent maniac who has now made a public threat. Forget banning, try restraining order.

  • Gopherit

    [re=235411]Terry[/re]: He’s holding out for a frito crust.

  • Gopherit

    I think he’s trying to up traffic at his lame-ass blog, but that kind of stupid hurts my eyes. Sorry dood.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235388]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ladies? Get your war paint on.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235404]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Hahahaha “ass rape.”

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: I read the blog you are trying to plug. Larry Sinclair called, he wants his talent back.

  • Dog Trombone

    CussingNews: Shows how wrong you are. That post was written by Jim. Not the meshuggeneh Ken.

  • chascates

    [re=235402]Hound[/re]: That’s got my vote. Denby, we’ll hunt you down in what ever squalid blogs you hide in.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235408]grendel[/re]: What is that a picture of on the blog? Aushwitz? Berlin wall?

    Really weird. Follow the link to his twitter for more insight.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Hahahaha his blog was shut down:
    http://thecussingnews.blogspot.com/

  • chascates

    [re=235388]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Not for long tho:
    Blog has been removed

    Sorry, the blog at thecussingnews.blogspot.com has been removed. This address is not available for new blogs.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    Can Ken come out and explain this angry skinhead? I am genuinely fucking confused.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235388]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “thecussingnews.blogspot.com has been removed.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Fucking idiot. Oh no dood! All those brilliant blog posts down teh toobs!

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=235404]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: also, i’m confused by the comments about ken on a post by jim. OR ARE THEY ACTUALLY THE SAME PERSON???!!!???!! or maybe ken is the dude, and jim is the name he calls his nose…whatever

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235424]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Where will I get my white supremacy news now? I guess I’ll start reading Coulter’s blog.

  • chascates

    Worse yet, this troll’s other amazing effort has been removed:
    Sorry, the blog at cussingrealitytv.blogspot.com has been removed. This address is not available for new blogs.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235428]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Do not fuck with teh Wonkette.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235431]chascates[/re]: He has been BANNED FROM THE INTERWEBS.

  • Maus

    [re=235420]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: And by talent, he means oral skills.

  • chascates

    [re=235430]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Check out http://vdare.com/
    In memory of Virginia Dare, the first white person born in Amerika. Favorite of Pat Buchanan and Co.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235432]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Honestly, I bet he’s pretty fucking pissed right now. His Twitter account just got the axe too!

    Cussingnews: We’re sorry, no REALLY! You see we are mean-spirited people (David Denby told me) and we take great joy in mocking you. So… sorry? We would have trolled your site with great gusto and furious anger.

  • chascates

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: All your base are belong to us

  • expatinOz

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: Hi Mr Cheney, it’s so nice to see you have a new hobby to fill your time now.

  • stopmebeforeitypeagain

    Mommy mommy make it go away. Can I come out from under the bed now? Why did it have those green teeth?

  • Kev-O-Tron

    These losers always have pathetic myspace pages (I know…redundant).

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=123257224

    Only 2 friends…

    http://www.sadtrombone.com

  • Gopherit

    [re=235432]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ken’s Kung Fu is strong on the tubez.

    AHAHAHA you shitbag racist asshole!

  • rocktonsammy

    Ya just know his parents are proud of George and ignore the black sheep Jeb.

  • nestor

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: In what sense?

  • american mutt

    [re=235355]sevenrepeat[/re]: george bush is the first black president.

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=235444]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: only 2 friends…and one of them’s tom.
    furthermore, i’m curious about what he means by “nop candy coating”.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Behold!
    http://www.cussingnews.com/

    The last remains of a person banned from the internet….
    It is one of the creepiest one-liners I have ever seen.

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=235444]Kev-O-Tron[/re]:

    …yet I am in his extended network. Disturbing.

  • Gopherit

    [re=235456]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: are you sure that’s not you shorts?

  • chascates

    [re=235456]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: What amazing drugs do these youngins’ have?

  • ManchuCandidate

    [re=235456]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
    The very outer edge of the intertubes?

  • John McClain

    Damn, Mr. Cussing News makes me miss Tony the Tiger’s subtle wit and nuance.

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    [re=235456]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:

    Umm… Win?

  • The Frogurt Is Also Cursed

    also, have we ever seen Ashley Todd and cussingatjews in a room at the same time?

    I’m not saying anything, just asking the question…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wow, that was fast. I’ll remember never to cross you guys. And girls. Also.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235471]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You can tell that Wonkette is getting larger. It used to take effort to destroy other people’s blogs. Now our editors type a few things, click a few boxes, and all of a sudden you are banished to interweb Cyberia.

  • Joey Ratz

    And I still have no idea what set this troglodyte off. Is he a graduate of Cheyney University?

    BTW, the comments of the news story deserve some attention of their own. Ick!

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=235471]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I know, right? One minute you’re just cold writin’ your wingnut stuff, hatin’ on Jews and blacks like any upstanding citizen and than BAM! Somebody just unplugs the tubes and leaves you alone in the dark. All that angry cussing was for nothing…

    Now I know why Hitler shot himself – it’s tough being so cutting edge (cussing edge?).

  • Mavky

    [re=235444]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I think “Tom” is *everybody’s* friend.

  • Mr Blifil

    The reporter did an outstanding job. Now for the rest of the evening I will be haunted by the complete impossibility of ever nailing her. Truly she’s a pro.

  • JeffGoldblum

    [re=235477]Mr Blifil[/re]: The award for actually commenting on the post and not the Cussing News guy goes to… This guy.

  • Scandalabra

    Looking back on it all, this was but a skirmish. PUMA was a battle. The War Against Assholism is a holy crusade!

  • JeffGoldblum

    Also, what is going on with the advertising? Does Wonkette have a lot of “Jane Austen Addicts?” Can we find them and ban them? RU4REELZ???? Also.

  • Scandalabra

    I was just Twittered with the news that Kundalini Rice is the captain of the cheerleader squad at Cheyney U. What does it all mean?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=235487]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Yes but you haven’t seen the “Free Grants for Republicans!” advertisement yet. I am sure they will greatly benefit by being here.

  • Hound

    CussingNews is a valuable fucking thing! You don’t just ban CussingNews for nothing!!!!11!

  • MisterLoki

    What the fuck was that all about?
    [re=235491]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: My favorite is the NewsMax poll about Sara Palin.

  • 102415

    Oh, don’t worry about the cussin’ thing once the government marries him to a black jew gay and his guns are taken away he’ll settle down real nice. He’s just a little spunky still. It’s all part of the stimulous bill.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: There are affordable drugs for PMS readily available.

    We think we are being creative at Wonkette, then it turns out that there is a college named Cheyney with a president named George Bush, and many in the student body are African American. When life trumps art that soundly, it is the most amusing snark of all.

  • Scarab

    ‘Kike’? Really?
    Geez, I haven’t heard that word for years.
    If you’re going to be a racist in today’s world you should really keep up with the times, otherwise it makes you look really ignorant.
    Anyway, thanks for the ‘groovy’ comment, I guess.

  • wickedlittledoll

    A massive campus brawl, yet not a single person gets shot in the face. I expected more from Cheyney!
    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

  • Neilist

    [re=235364]CussingNews[/re]: Cussing, old son, have you thought about dating Soul Sister? She seems PERFECT FOR YOU.

    [re=235416]Gopherit[/re]: Damn you. I have not eaten all day, and for some reason Mac & Cheese with a Frito crust sounds really . . . . filling?

    Will you put some cut-up Smokey Link sausages in it, too? I need my daily dose of salts, red dyes and nitrates.

    HMMMMMM!

  • Platypus

    [re=235361]CussingNews[/re]: Die, motherfucker, die!

  • Warren Terror

    Kartango delenda est.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Someone, please, the tubez need to be cleaned.

  • Colander

    Grrr, you guys are always scaring the available dudes away! Okay, so he dropped a couple negroid-bombs, and he called my mom the k-word during thanksgiving dinner, even though she died, like, five years ago, on thanksgiving day. HE LOVED ME, YOU GUYS!!

    Sure, I hadn’t yet told him that I was secretly an abortion, and had both a penis and vagina, but he was really tolerant when it was just us two. Hate you guys.

  • Warren Terror

    [re=235522]Colander[/re]: Dude, I salute your inebriation. Or, if not, I feel that surrealism is the only way to interpret the modern world. Well, that’s a lie, I guess I’m just

  • Colander

    [re=235535]Warren Terror[/re]: Er, I was sober when I wrote that. Things HAVE changed, however slightly, since 30 minutes ago.

  • bdevil02

    Today, we are all definitely not Cussingnews.

  • stopmebeforeitypeagain

    [re=235477]Mr Blifil[/re]: The reporter is definitely a hard-working fox. Too much eye make-up, though.

    What a depressing scene in that video. I went to high school just over the hill from Cheyney; I used to know “civil rights” “activists” who taught there and at Lincoln (another of the colleges sending combatants) for gas money and not much more. “Historically Black Colleges and Universities”: a fucking shame.

    Just a shitty news day, one end to the other. I venture to say that it’s time to get wasted. Anyone got money for antifreeze?

  • MarieDeGournay

    [re=235444]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Oh, fuck. He’s a Pisces! I weep for my sign.

  • PolicyWhore

    Stop feeding the troll. Now, where the hell is the banhammer?

  • ladymacbeth

    we are the wonkette.

    we will prevail.

    exterminate.

  • agitpropster

    Oh, wormwood! Oh, wormwood! Oh, bitter, bitter wormwood!

    You lame-ass ‘Pugtard “Barry-Is-A-Muslin” Bitterz really do need to go get a fucking life now.

    Like one of you cretins told me after Florida,”Get over it.”

  • Purple Tide

    Cussing News:

    37 year old “white” male, 3.5 inch penis, fully erect, which it rarely is, nowadays, outside of Demolition Derbys or Ann Coulter “book” signings. Lives with parents on the barren outskirts of Arlington, Texas; glares at “the Negroes” when their backs are turned. Hates “the Mexicans” but works with them at the local Wal-Mart, or did until he was fired for making suggestive comments to his colleague, overweight cashier Tessa Blumenfeld. Upon discovering that Tessa’s father was of Hungarian-Jewish heritage, Mr. News went on a sloppy graffiti rampage, targeting the closest thing to a synagogue he could find, a Kosher delicatessen. Mr. Menshevicz was not amused.

    Jerks off secretly to gay porn and puts Ken Layne’s face on the top and his on the bottom.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    OMG BREAKING NEWS. Cussingnews was right. There is a shadow government of uneducated blacks RUNNING THE WHITE HOUSE. OMG OMG IDK OMG BRB KTHANXBIE.

    And to all of you slandering the gentleman after he has been completely banned from the interwebs, do any of you deserve to throw the first stone? Do what Jesus would do and be racist already. I mean FUCK. Get out there and make dumb racist comments that you think make sense! Better yet, slap a child and steal his grandmother’s money while you push her into an intersection. Let’s spice it up people! WE HAVE A NEW PREZDINT FER GAWD SAKES.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    THIS turned out to be the awesome of the day, and yet as soon as it became racially charged, everyone commented, and then waited for that particular comment to come out of it. As a person commenting on this site, I am appalled by the fact that I keep commenting. Comment. Commenting. Comment. Also.
    I think I will simply sue every single one of you instead, for making this thread die. Or I will fap to the new pics of Ken Layne that TMZ has found. THEY ARE INCREDIBLY SECKSIE. HE IS WEARING A TUBA ON HIS NOSE.
    *fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*

  • hobospacejungle

    [re=235517]Platypus[/re]: The Bart, the

  • actor212

    Everything a Bush touches turns to crap.

  • Schadenfried

    [re=235385]CussingNews[/re]: Oh hey! I think someone’s volunteering to be a soldier for Hamas!

  • Schadenfried

    [re=235402]Hound[/re]: I got five on it.