Wonkette
John McCain woke from an Ambien stupor this morning and remembered, vaguely, that he also had an email list. Hmm, that ice witch Sarah Palin might have all the wingnut love these days — because she guaranteed a massive loss for the GOP ticket, making martyrs out of the Free Republic/Rush Limbaugh dumb mob (again) — but dagnabbit, War Hero McCain won’t just sit there in his La-Z-Boy. He will make his staff send an email, too.
Every six months or so, McCain hears something about this “economic crisis” and then he takes one of Cindy’s corporate jets to Washington, where he makes a big show about being at the Senate, where he supposedly serves as a senator.
So this time, he wants you to know that despite flying to Chicago to kiss Obama’s ring a few months back, and supporting pretty much whatever Obama wants, he will NOT STAND for this huge stimulus pork-and-beans bill, which he probably endorsed until this morning. And everybody on John McCain’s email list hates him, for being a liberal loser, so they just all deleted his email, the end.
McCain Wades Into Email Fight Over Stimulus [The Nation]
“huge stimulus pork-and-beans bill”
walnuts’ anger towards the move by IHOP to discontinue said pork and beans means that nobody may have pork and beans.
Well, I’m sure that’ll make all the people who didn’t vote for him listen to what he’s saying.
Does Walnuts! think that Goblin is a blind old mole-rat like him? That button is taking up some serious real-estate.
McWALNUTS will stand guard against that trollop Caliph Obama for the next FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!
Umm, didn’t I read somewhere recently that John McCain supported the stimulus package?
Whatever. Suck a dick and fall back asleep, Sidney. You don’t want to be awake to hear your wife giving the pool boy a piece.
“Unfortunately, the proposal on the table is big on the giveaways for the special interests and corporate high rollers, yet short on help for ordinary working Americans.”
Because, of course, John McCain’s empathy for ordinary working Americans knows no bounds. And by bounds, I mean a beginning.
Whatever douchebag … Let Cindy Dance!!
In other news, Tom Daschle will not be President of Health Care:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/03/daschle/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
Apparently no public figure, ever, since the Articles of Confederation, has paid his/her taxes.
Just watched the live stream of the Steelers Super Bowl celebration in Pittsburgh. One of the players went to the microphone and said, “President Obama, baby, fire up the bar-b-que, ’cause we’re comin’ down there to help yo with yo stimulus package.” McCain, prepare to have your mouth smashed; don’t say you weren’t warned.
SayItWithWookies: My friends, I know many of you are hurting and may even have to sell one of your homes in these hard times.
At his age it’s best for him to say no to the ‘Stimulus Package’. That stuff puts a real strain on the heart.
The mac is back!
That’s my maverick! …towing the party line is “maverick”,right? I forget the definition of it during the off-campaign season.
Jukesgrrl: Hahahaha, really? That’s amazing.
Hey, just because he lost with 48% of the vote doesn’t mean he can’t work hard and make us ALL losers too!
The fundamentals of the stimulus pork and beans is strong, Walnuts!
BillyClubb: My friends, if this bill doesn’t include the words “Viagra”, “Levitra”, “Cialis”, or “When the time is right”, or if it DOES include “priapism”, I won’t sign it.
Goblin? Get on his mailing list as “Cindi, you cunt”.
UNSUBSCRIBE
El Pinche: No, being all Maverick means sucking up to the press
We really dodged a bullet with this guy. Remember when he failed to propoerly vet his VP pick? Just think, if he was President all his cabinet picks would be forced to step down because of some sort of scandal.
WadISay: i think they’re pulling names from the yard signs we all tried to get a few months ago. my email was addressed to “Dear another one biting,” as in “i am ‘another one biting’ the ‘dust.’ “
Mac’s next email was out of shock at finding out his “Real Age”–
“I’M 64!! WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I KNOW THIS DURING THE CAMPAIGN?!??!”
I just replied back: “You lost. Shut up.”
He voted for the package by his little mentor in the past regime which gave 700 billion to the banks for undisclosed causes to no known purpose with no oversight whatever, and now he has objections? Are they sure it’s his younger brother with Alzheimer’s?
Again? I though he got republican-ey just in time for the election
Come here a minute: Win.
John McCain mailed someone named “Goblin”?
Last name “Knob”?
Is that Sarah Palin’s Secret Service callsign?
Christ, what a doomed campaign that was. Fucking useless geezer walking around, quaking through catchphrases like “The Mac is back!”
This country is fucked up. Barry should have won by 100 billion percent.
Did he use the googles, on the internets, to get his staff to sendin’ that ole’ email? also?
-SP
Someone should tell the old fart that having Rush hate him didn’t make any difference in the election, so getting Rush to like him isn’t going to do squat for him now.
As far as cutting pork goes, he is the Ambien Champian.
“Dear Goblin” made me laugh more than anything so far today.
Are we taking advice from ‘the fundamentals of the economy are strong’ Walnuts? The American people thought so much of his economic bona fides that they elected him president…oh wait. Go back to bitching about Drew Carey replacing Bob Baker on the Price is Right & leave economics to someone who’s never had to use an abacus.
Texan Bulldoggette: Oops, mean Bob Barker
Everybody just relax, over the next several months as the GOP presents its plan on how to deal with the economy I am sure BIg Mac will have his own plan. Why can’t everyone just wait a few months? Stop whining already!
I hope Mac and Cindy end up next to me and my crate in the hobo Jungle, you’ll hear some whining then! I’ll even broadcast it if I have wifi!
I signed up as ‘Gorlak the Financial Advisor’ … Don’t tax me for working hard!
I was very pleased to get my ‘Dear Gorlak’ email from john mccain this morning
Come here a minute: There is no “unsubscribe” button. They haven’t been invented in McCain’s time yet.
Dear Goblin, would you like to stop getting emails from me? Too bad.
Hey, McAncient. There’s fucking tax cuts in that stimulus package. And I’m Joe the Fucking Plumber. Don’t fucking tax me for working too hard. Fucker.
“The Screwtape Letters 2: ‘Dear Goblin…’”
MSNBC reports that Joe-the-fucking-not-a-Fucking-Plumber has been brought in to give advice to the RNC. Doesn’t Walnuts realize that JTFNAFP and Rush Limbaugh and Sarah “I’ll take my fancy party over the RNC anytime” Palin are the new face of the Repugblican party.
And Douchebag Mac created two of them?
And Oklahoma has a great Democratic governor who totally gets along with Repugs. And our Repugs are the most obnoxious on earth. Let’s give Brad Henry HHS. I’m pushing him as our favorite son candidate!
Hopefully Walnuts didn’t his trucknutz caught in “the internets” while trying to send this hate mail via the airwaves!
Ya, I was pretty confused this morning — Why is John McCain addressing me as PTSD in one email, and Saks in another? Then it all sunked in…
Damn him, he wouldn’t give me my beautiful posters (I am PTSD, the McCain Doctrine; I am Saks, the Small Town Values… Don’t Tax Me for Working Hard!) and now he writes to tell me he don’t wanna give me no beautiful Stimulus neither.
Christ, what a miser.
Hey Canmon: Con Be Gone!
Poof!
Somehow I must have missed this in the past but “Dear Goblin” is making me lol so fucking hard.
Ha ha. He sent mine to “Rocky.” I’m not Rocky. stupid walnuts.