FURTHER EMBARRASSMENTS  11:00 am February 3, 2009

Tom Daschle Is Completely Doomed

by Sara K. Smith

Good luck broYikes! Barack Obama might still like this guy for Health and Human Services, but somebody is out to get poor Tom Daschle, an innocent and honorable man who accidentally underpaid his taxes by a hundred thousand dollars and change. Two Democratic turncoats have been whispering in the ears of Politico reporters, to whom we link because one of the reporters is our beloved Ben Smith, who is “friendly.” The point is, these Democratic sources totally ratted out Daschle, which means they are being disloyal to the president, which means they will be executed.

Tom Daschle backed the patron who paid him a million-dollar salary and supplied him with a free car and driver for a job inside the Obama administration, two Democrats said Monday.

Leo Hindery, whose InterMedia Partners employed the former Senate majority leader, had been mentioned as a possible secretary of commerce or U.S. trade representative.

“Tom was pushing for him,” said one Democratic source.

Oh noes Tom Daschle!

This Hindery character appears to be a second-tier Democratic patron who never made it to the big time because he always backed losers like John Edwards.

Campaign finance records show that he underwrote private jet travel for Edwards’ 2008 campaign, a campaign finance loophole that has been since closed. A former aide said Hindery paid the bulk of Elizabeth Edwards’ travel expenses.

Jesus. Could things get any worse for Tom Daschle? He has this monumental tax embarrassment, two Democrats go blabbing to Politico about how he wanted his wealthy patron and perennial supporter of the lizard king John Edwards to get an important government position … what next?

How about the New York Times running an editorial saying he should drop out of the race?

Now we are confronted with an even larger lapse by Mr. Daschle, who failed to pay $128,000 in taxes, primarily for personal use of a car and driver provided to him by a private equity firm for which he consulted. Although the firm — headed by a major Democratic donor — had not issued a form 1099 for the value of the car service, Mr. Daschle said he became concerned last June that he might owe taxes on it and instructed his accountant to investigate. Neither was concerned enough to actually pay the taxes.

On the bright side, we have yet to see any mistresses, gay lovers, drug addictions, or erotic text messages surface from the swamp of Tom Daschle’s past, so he’s got that going for him.

Daschle pushed Hindery for Obama job [Politico]
The Travails of Tom Daschle [New York Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 43 comments }

shortsshortsshorts February 3, 2009 at 11:06 am

He is currently the leader of Mexico’s largest drug cartel, also.

Mr Blifil February 3, 2009 at 11:07 am

People from South Dakota are more interesting than I had imagined.

Serolf Divad February 3, 2009 at 11:08 am

I totally forget about my private Chauffeur, too from time to time. Let it slide.

shortsshortsshorts February 3, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=234799]Mr Blifil[/re]: They have learned from the Nazis that the element of surprise is crucial. They also kill Jews.

AxmxZ February 3, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=234801]Serolf Divad[/re]: You have to have a REALLY crap memory to forget about a private chauffeur to the tune of 128 grand of TAXES.

Stranger in the Alps February 3, 2009 at 11:18 am

On the bright side, we have yet to see any mistresses, gay lovers, drug addictions, or erotic text messages surface from the swamp of Tom Daschle’s past, so he’s got that going for him.

Yeah, but there is the Matt Taibi gem that “When Obama picked Tom Daschle to be the HHS Secretary, I nearly shit my pants. In Washington there are whores and there are whores, and then there is Tom Daschle. Tom Daschle would suck off a corpse for a cheeseburger.”

http://www.rollingstone.com/blogs/taibbiunbound/2008/12/the-whore-factor.php

Nothing says HHS Secretary like necrophilial fellatio, and fried foods.

Humble Respectable Flexible February 3, 2009 at 11:18 am

All of these ethics problems could have been easily avoided if we’d only made Sarah Palin our Christian Ice Empress.

Texan Bulldoggette February 3, 2009 at 11:19 am

Screw Tom Daschle. He couldn’t even win re-election in one of the whitest states even though he’s scandal-free (a tax scandal is nothing) & married to a former Miss South Dakota Buffalo Chips or something. Surely Barry can find someone else to head up HHS & healthcare reform (which will never happen anyway).

thongthongthong February 3, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=234810]AxmxZ[/re]: He picked up the chauffeur at Nieman Marcus and plans to give him to charity when he’s done with him.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 3, 2009 at 11:20 am

I couldn’t read the story because I couldn’t take my eyes off Wile E.’s slim, lithe body. Mmm.

honkeyman February 3, 2009 at 11:21 am

BUT did he BLOW the chauffeur? If so, all is forgiven.

ManchuCandidate February 3, 2009 at 11:24 am

The Beatles’ Taxman

One, two, three, four…
Hrmm!
One, two, (one, two, three, four!)

Let me tell you how it will be;
No tax breaks for you, but plenty for me.
‘Cause I’m the tax cheat,
Yeah, I’m the tax cheat.

Should $140K appear too small,
Be thankful I still pay at all.
‘Cause I’m the tax cheat,
Yeah, I’m the taxm cheat.

(if I get a car, car;) – I’ll will not pay;
(if I get gifts, gifts;) – It’ll be oops I say;
(if I get some help, help;) – I’ll deport her ass;
(if I take a flight, flight;) – I’ll… fuck you all.

Tax Cheat!

‘Cause I’m the tax cheat,
Yeah, I’m the tax cheat.

WadISay February 3, 2009 at 11:25 am

Politico reporters, to whom we link because one of the reporters is our beloved Ben Smith, who is “friendly.”

My enemy’s friend is my enemy, or something.

On the bright side, we have yet to see any mistresses, gay lovers, drug addictions, or erotic text messages surface from the swamp of Tom Daschle’s past, so he’s got that going for him.

On the other hand, there’s the red-framed glasses, so there’s probably a lot more sheit still to come out.

jagorev February 3, 2009 at 11:31 am

There is literally no one that Obama has appointed who is not a monstrous tax cheat – for instance, here’s someone you have never heard of before and will never hear about again, Nancy Killefer, who was going to be the “performance czar”, which sounds vaguely erotic:

http://tinyurl.com/atn85p

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 3, 2009 at 11:32 am

there’s the red-framed glasses

I assume the Sally Jesse Raphael joke well has gone dry by now.

Sussemilch February 3, 2009 at 11:32 am

I never quite understood Daschle’s ascendancy, so his decline is no surprise. It will be interesting to see Hopey’s style of dismissing those who have failed him.

Mr Blifil February 3, 2009 at 11:33 am

[re=234810]AxmxZ[/re]: In Daschle’s defense, the limo was capable of intergalactic space travel. You cannot simply hire any wetback to get you to Regulon and back during peak hours on a business day. The risk of a matter/anti-matter quandary can be high. Such a job should only be handled by a wetback who has at least been exposed to standard concepts of parallel multi-demensionalism and time compositry. Such a skill-set does not come cheap, unless you are willing to pull from the pool of prison inmates.

sarcasticusername February 3, 2009 at 11:34 am

knowing politico the democrats they cite are probably just republicans who asked to have their crap attributed to a democrat. regardless, democrats love nothing more than to eat their own; a republican could torture and fuck a baby panda on his webcam for all the world to see and the republicans would still be prattling on about how the guy exemplified all that is right with america and it’s all just a liberal media witch hunt; and eventually the media would be shamed into forcing democrats to declare the republicans are right. republicans tend to be annoyingly shitty human beings, but they sure know how to create blizzard of nonsense that allows them to guilt everyone into giving them what they want; you have to kind of hate respect them for that.

JeffGoldblum February 3, 2009 at 11:36 am

Even more proof that “consultant” — and not “007″ — is in fact the sexiest job in the world.

(With the exception of White House reporter/male escort, obvs.)

jagorev February 3, 2009 at 11:36 am

Look, seriously, this man is a corrupt lobbyist whore, and there are better candidates out there who can run HHS – Howard Dean, for instance.

JeffGoldblum February 3, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=234838]sarcasticusername[/re]: Your semi-colon is showing. Also; and then.

thongthongthong February 3, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=234831]WadISay[/re]: “yet to see any mistresses, gay lovers, …”
Dunno ’bout that. I heard he got hooked up with Dancer and made Prancer jealous. Vixon said for a quickie she’d swipe Rudolph’s secret groucho specs for him…but when Daschle got over the border, the RED Nose fell off the specs. And that’s why none of us got Christmas presents this year.

[re=234827]ManchuCandidate[/re]: yeah, your tune is better. Always is. Whatevs.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 3, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=234843]jagorev[/re]: Or Doctor Ron Paul!

President Beeblebrox February 3, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=234815]Stranger in the Alps[/re]: WIN. Matt Taibbi is probably the closest thing to Hunter S. Thompson these days. I mean, that little screed comes from the finest tradition of character-assassination journalism, ftw:

“At the stroke of midnight in Washington, a drooling red-eyed beast with the legs of a man and head of a giant hyena crawls out of its bedroom window in the South Wing of the White House and leaps 50 feet down to the lawn … pauses briefly to strangle the chow watchdog, then races off into the darkness toward the Watergate, snarling with lust, loping through the alleys behind Pennsylvania Avenue and trying desperately to remember which one of those 400 iron balconies is the one outside Martha Mitchell’s apartment.”

Cape Clod February 3, 2009 at 11:40 am

The only honorable way out of this is for Obama to send him a sympathy card showing a kitten clinging to a tree limb that says ‘hang in there!’, and lace it with anthrax.

Coffee Clutcher 187 February 3, 2009 at 11:46 am

There are corporate whores a plenty in DC of every political persuasion. The crux of the tax problem for Tom is that it now makes him one of the bad guys who is profiting off of everyone else’s pain. And class warfare is all the rage, so he is fucked (and not in the good way).

It may just be my soul shaking hatred of this puss-sucking, varmint-fucking anti-christs (i.e. insurance companies), but I would really rather have an HHS Secretary who has not gotten monetary (if not literal) blow jobs from the U. S. of A.’s very own Dementors.

jagorev February 3, 2009 at 11:48 am

[re=234849]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I think of Taibbi more as a modern day Mencken, and have a totally-not-gay man-crush on him.

thongthongthong February 3, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=234848]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Ron Paul stayed flat.

Clankie February 3, 2009 at 11:52 am

Well, everyone knows blObama was secretly planning to reward the esteemed Dr. Paul with the position, however after his resounding success at fracturing various previously steadfast sects of retarded republicans, he is simply going to be paid in cash under the table, and his services will be retained for 2012, when the GOP will actually be forced to nominate either Sarah (soon to be on Rock of Love: Doublewide) Palin or the Mad Doctor. End of Republicans forever. Lawlz.

Counting My Toes February 3, 2009 at 11:58 am

Last year I gave my used Trucknutz and David Denby books to Goodwill.

I’m thinking their estimated value is starting to go waaaay up. No consolation prize for being the last honest person in America.

Suds McKenzie February 3, 2009 at 12:15 pm

For some reason, I’m more concerned with his Credit Score.

gurukalehuru February 3, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Hang down your head, Tom Douschle
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head Tom Douschle
You ain’t getting confirmed for squat

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 3, 2009 at 12:39 pm

my used Trucknutz

TMI !!

BobLoblawLawBlog February 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=234843]jagorev[/re]: Look, seriously, this man is a corrupt lobbyist whore, and there are better candidates out there who can run HHS – Howard Dean, for instance.

Who do you think is doing all the sexy-time whispering? Hint: Smith has a burst eardrum from the excited phone call he got when his “source” read his planted story.

hobospacejungle February 3, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Tom Daschle withdraws! Yay! No more blowing dead people for cheeseburgers!

JohnnyMeatworth February 3, 2009 at 12:59 pm

he just withdrew, sez that fly by night organization CNN

Bronkers February 3, 2009 at 1:01 pm

On NPR right now – withdrawn (shriveled). The latest long national nightmare is over.

For now…..

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm

sez that fly by night organization CNN

I won’t believe it until a hologram tells me.

assistant/atlas February 3, 2009 at 1:05 pm

“On the bright side, we have yet to see any mistresses, gay lovers, drug addictions, or erotic text messages surface from the swamp of Tom Daschle’s past, so he’s got that going for him.”

Really, it’s the unbridled optimism that keeps me coming back to Wonkette.

DangerousLiberal February 3, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=234827]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Win

donner_froh February 3, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=234810]AxmxZ[/re]: I would think that it would amount to only about $325,000 to $360,000 in 1099 type income. Which would mean that Daschle got driven everywhere he went including in his own house when he went from room to room.

Not so bad.

sowbelly February 3, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Taxes are for the little people. My driver agrees with me.

Joey Ratz February 3, 2009 at 6:58 pm

[re=234858]jagorev[/re]: Here’s some Taibbi porn just for you, courtesy of the one and only Rachel Maddow:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/#28699908

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