Wonkette
Yay a new era has dawned in Washington, bipartisanship forever, etc! After Barack Obama’s pudgy comic foil had to renounce the Latino Consolation Prize due to a corruption investigation, people wondered who could possibly replace Bill Richardson. And then the name “Judd Gregg” was floated, and people said, “well, he was pretty good in Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” plus he was a Republican, which meant that sneaky Barack Obama could get Gregg’s Democratic governor to appoint a Democrat to replace him in the Senate without a single Republican noticing!
But the Republicans did notice, and they said, “Fine, you can take this senator, as long as you give us another ‘un,” and Obama capitulated. Yay bipartisanship! So now we’ll have another Republican in the Cabinet, which is good for Democracy, and Obama has a gym buddy:
Mr. Obama’s secret interview with the senator at transition headquarters last month, aides say, was one of the few serious one-on-one conversations between them. In Mr. Obama’s brief time on Capitol Hill, they barely knew each other, aside from occasional chats in the Senate gym.
Nobody really cares about Commerce, except as an adjunct to Treasury and HHS, so basically Judd Gregg will get to spend his golden years shilling for his Democratic president’s complete overhaul of taxes and healthcare.
Obama Set to Add Republican to Cabinet [New York Times]
“Nobody really cares about Commerce, except as an adjunct to Treasury and HHS”
Well, due to a bit of log rolling on Nixon’s part, Commerce is also home to NOAA, the nice folks who predict weather (no the guy on TV doesn’t really do it) and map the harbors and such.
Is he related to Naomi and Wynona? Is that why everyone thought he was in Fast Times?
So, I understand about Richardson being head commerce secretary in chief (what with the hardworking illegals and all) but what’s with the white guy? Is he at least Jewish?
I insist that all political appointments be made according to racial stereotypes!
Leave Commerce alone!
[shoots self]
Nobody really cares about Commerce, except as an adjunct to Treasury and HHS
The census which is the basis for redistricting Congress is run by Commerce.
I do not know my credit score. I must find out INSTANTLY!!!
Terry: donner_froh: Commerce also controls all the secret nuclear activation codes. And Area 51, too.
rambone: Dude, you are seriously on to something. I would start by insisting that the Department of the Interior go to a gay male.
Terry: Commerce controls the weather machines that created Katrina, also.
Judd Gregg voted in 1995 to abolish the Commerce Department. Now he’s in charge. If you can’t take ‘em down from the outside…
He’s neither Latino nor bearded, and apparently he has seen the inside of a gym. Barry is obviously going for the anti-Richardson.
In Mr. Obama’s brief time on Capitol Hill, they barely knew each other, aside from occasional chats in the Senate gym.
The Making of a Commerce Secretary
A Play in One Act
By: Serolf Divad
Scene: Sen. Gregg and Sen. Obama at Senate gym, standing side by side at separate urinals. Sen. Obama is to Sen. Gregg’s right.
Gregg: [Looking down and to the right] Damn! So it’s true what they say about you people.
Obama: You know it. Say, if I’m elected president would you like to be in my cabinet?
Gregg: I’d be honored.
[Curtain]
I’m glad the news is slow so I can get some real work done.
Commerce is the home for the federal agency that is the focus of my job, so, I actually care quite a bit about who leads this Department.
Given that “commerce” should be one of the means by which the ailing economy revives eventually, this spot shouldn’t be equated to a country-club level ambassadorship in a dismissable foreign country.
I wish Hopey would have picked Judge Dread instead.
Not to mention Barry wants someone he can dunk over on his new basketball court. “In your face, Daniel Webster!”
I CAN HAS BLINGEE PLZ? KTHXBAI
I find it kind of amusing when republicans are put in position of having to shill for everything they fight against. Delicious.
This will placate the Asians. No matter how many wars the Republicans start, lots of Asians are still all, “Well you know, the Democrats have protectionism and forget that we exist, so we prefer the Re-pubs.”
Wait, I’m confused. Judge Dredd is our Commerce Secretary? We’re in for some rough times.
Serolf Divad: Profoundly moving.
Serolf Divad: And Gregg is played by…Woody Harrelson?
Wonder if he’ll play up his gun fetish like in Beverley Hills Cop II?
Who the fuck is the governor of New Hampshire, Joe Lieberman?
Lucas Burch: Not Judge Dredd! JUGGS Dredd, the soft porn star!
Mr Blifil:
I confess that I’m a little embarrassed by some of the emotional cheap shots I took in that play. I don’t want to be a hack writer. I want to produce works that are meaningful and insightful in ways that help open our eyes to the interior lives of people unlike ourselves. I can only comfort myself in the thought that “The Making of a Commerce Secretary” was a piece of juvenalia, having been written 22 minutes ago when I was still very emotionally inexperienced and naive about certain subjects.
Wait…Jughead? Gawd, I hope Obama likes hamburgers.
Stupidest headline about Judd Gregg yet: http://tinyurl.com/cox5rx
Rachel Maddow said that Gregg made the appointment of a Republican replacement for his Senate seat a precondition of accepting the cabinet post. Unfortunalely for Gregg none of his other preconditions involved avoiding future junkets to <a href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1996_Croatia_USAF_CT-43_crash”Croatia. Moral of the story: Obama win!
Larry McAwful: Seriously. What the fuck? Fucker used to bitch all the time about it, voted against it, and now he IS it? THERE IS A MOLE SOMEWHERE IN THIS. also.
I’m disgusted by the catty, woman-on-woman attacks that proliferate here on Wonkette. If Sara can’t say anything nice about Mrs. Gregg, she should say nothing at all.
And the rest of you girls just need to calm down. This place is like a hot, nubile pajama party without the hot or nubile. (Your use of pajamas may vary with your ability to work from home. HRF is not responsible for the relative flammability or inflammability of your pajamas, and resents any reference to sexy pillow fights that doesn’t include him/her/them).
Serolf Divad: I was referring to what the guys on the toilet seats were doing.
Colander: Oh man, Wimpy’s in the Cabinet now? “A Team of Minor Characters from Legacy Comic Strips.”….Mt. Rushmore, here we come!
Mr Blifil: Damn dry black humor always suffers when the formatting is in error. Sigh.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1996_Croatia_USAF_CT-43_crash
Humble Respectable Flexible: STFU, you trollop cunt.
Humble Respectable Flexible: Are you from Pajamas Media? WELCOME BROTHER/SISTER/Transexual Neighbor/Dead cat on sidewalk/Flamboyant retard/Trig.
thongthongthong: Easy for you to say, Miss Coozejuice McWhorediamond.
thongthongthong: I would, but my pajamas are on fire. Halp, my trucknutz is burning!
Is this legal - making deals on who to appoint to the senate? If so then why is blago charged?
shortsshortsshorts: From what I understand, there is no pajamas media anymore. Which is sad, the way the end of the 3rd Reich was sad. With kittens.
Humble Respectable Flexible: We burn the kittens, and then put the kittens into the basket. Obviously.
Terry: Oh yeah, NOAA - the agency that Santorum wanted to shut down because he was In The Tank for Accu-Weather. Srsly. How I pine for the days of Ricky’s silliness.
President Beeblebrox: Privatizing the weather will create jobs. Once you own the weather, you can hire an awful lot of people. Like a different tranny hooker for each day of the week.
Humble Respectable Flexible: They’re not dead yet. Pajamas is abandoning teh blogs in favor of that well-respected bastion of journalism, Pajamas TV, with Joe teh Plumbers, the new John Chancellor, as its franchise player.
At least that’s what Wikipedia says, and it’s never wrong.
shortsshortsshorts: It puts the kitten against it’s skin or else it gets the hose again?
President Beeblebrox: What’s up with that anyway? The media player will simply not play without first invoking a million pop-ups. Presumably they hired Joe to also handle media compression issues and interactivity coding.
President Beeblebrox: I had to check to see if you were joking, because that made me laugh. You weren’t.
Now I’m crying. On the inside.
user-of-owls: Oh man, Wimpy’s in the Cabinet now?
Makes sense. Barry’s first pick was
Bluto.
Mr Blifil: Yes, the NH Union Leader reported Fri or Sat that Gregg demanded (I think that was the word used) a promise of a Republican replacement. Today the paper says of his replacement:
It has been widely reported that Newman would promise not to run for a full term in 2010 if she is appointed, but that has not been confirmed.
The link, via the msnbc portal:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28987514
President Beeblebrox:
The Plumber killed the Blogging Nuts?
Why, was Sean Penn not available?
actor212: That sounds like an excellent GoDaddy.com Super Bowl ad - Obama nominating Juggs Dredd
Bronkers: Given that “commerce” should be one of the means by which the ailing economy revives eventually, this spot shouldn’t be equated to a country-club level ambassadorship in a dismissable foreign country.
Except when it is.
President Beeblebrox: Ah, where are the priorities? Who today values a senator for his extensive crop of girl-children who cry at the drop of a hat and who has a “man-on-dog” thing? What this country has come to! (weeping silently in a fetching way).
So, can we have a countdown until our new Commerce Secretary gets into roving firefights with bad creditors, people who block “Green-collar” job growth, and people who hire illegal Mexicans? You would think he’d get a position in the Justice Department instead (har har, low hanging fruit indeed).