Wonkette
- Harry Reid is going to try to have the stimulus package passed through the Senate by Friday. [Reuters]
- Israel still sees the occasional incoming rocket from Gaza, but nobody’s claiming responsibility. [Voice of America]
- Londoners lost their frigging minds at the arrival of about a foot of snow, a welcome respite from the usual Dickensian winter dusting of creosote and coal particulates. [Guardian]
- Kwame Kilpatrick served 99 days in jail and was released last night, 25 pounds lighter, with a beard. [Detroit Free Press]
- Hillary Clinton will meet with British Foreign Secretary David Miliband to discuss various goings-on around the world. [BBC News]
- It appears that no-good common pranksters perpetrated the Super Bowl PORN ATTACK in Arizona, and authorities vowed to catch and sexily spank the miscreants. [Arizona Daily Star]
PORN ATTACK–The only stimulus the US needs.
So in limp-dick speak, Harry Reid will NOT have the stimulus package passed by Friday.
Only the Brits would write about the “Proper” way to make a snowball.
Too bad we couldn’t ALWAYS get a $10 credit everytime we looked at porn.
…put that in the stimulus package.
And Great Britain says adios to the Gulf Stream and joins it’s fellow Nordic nations in celebrating the glories of winter…should effectively shut-up the British global warming naysayers…
I guess that explains why Kwame Kilpatrick has been walking around wearing that huge button that reads “Lose weight now—ask me how!”
It’s true the BBC treated the fall of snow like it was the greatest event since the Big Bang, because it happened in London and not just in the sticks.
lets take bets on the exact moment this week that Harry Reid will roll over..
Uh-oh. The de-salinizaton of the North Atlantic is shutting down the Gulf Stream as predicted.
“You want a weather prediction? I’ll give you a weather prediction. It’s going to cold. It’s going to be gray. And it’s going to last you…the rest of your life.”
Tell those Super Bowl porn pranksters how outraged you are at their website:
http://www.godaddy.com
Yaybuls: Don’t know why that’s so funny, but it is.
If you do a LexisNexis search of British newspapers over the past 2 days for the term “transport chaos” your computer will explode.
I hear a Cable station in France is giving subscribers a 10 Franc note because they inadvertently went 24 hours yesterday without playing any skin-cream commercials featuring nude, jiggling boobies.
The Arizona Daily Star sure knows their porn.
Serolf Divad: France hasn’t had francs since 1999 and it hasn’t had ten franc notes since the 1970s. Otherwise I’d believe you.
Larry McAwful:
Which makes these 10 Franc notes all the more valuable… as collectibles!
(p.s. Damn you Mr. “I know what I’m talking about”!)
Larry McAwful: That’s after he lost 25 pounds? That suit must be a size 58 extra portly from the Big, Fat and Tall shop.
If Kwame loses 25 more pounds of roid-muscle, his terrible secret will be exposed: HE IS KADEEEM HARDISON!
Poor Ian Holm has been sitting up in that remote Scottish weather station and saying this was going to happen years ago.
Serolf Divad: I’d take one. I’m a coin collecting geek from way back. I also used to live in France, so because of those things, I’m so horribly insufferable.
Not as horrible as French TV, though. When I lived there, they watched lots of Baywatch and Diffr’nt Strokes reruns dubbed into French. But the domestically-produced shows are worse. Except for all the jiggling, of course. That rocks.
donner_froh: It was actually a false report. Kilpatrick reportedly sat down recently, popping a button on his shirt, when he said, “There’s those lost 25 pounds!”
sailingthestyx: agreed, or perhaps their corrupt idiots will say, “LOOK! IT’S SNOW! THERE IS NO GLOBAL WARMING!!!11!!”
Over on Huffpo (IRISYDHT), they have a story about how Joe the Plumber will be giving a speech to “The Conservative Working Group,” made up of aides to republican congressman.
Seriously.
Serolf Divad: Vive La France!
The best part about reading that London snow article is that I now know the Brits call snow plows “gritters” and road salt/sand “grit.”
They are so precious!!!
“City Official A”
You really have to love the Detroit Free Press. They’ve been after old Kwame like a dog working on a soup bone.
Too bad teh pron attack wasn’t in 3D. That would have made the trip to the grocery store to pick up the 3D glasses worth the effort.
Hey, that’s my weight loss program! Get caught porn texting my mistress, then get a 100 day sentence in jail!
gurukalehuru: If only I could be there! I’d love to hear Joe the Plumber detail the flaws he finds with Keynesian economics, thoughtfully commenting on the differences the two major parties have on fiscal policy.
Larry McAwful:
I once read that, at its height, Baywatch was the most watched TV show in the world.
actor212:
Get back in the game, as they say!
Haha, porn attack…the 9/11 of the AZ mormon population…
norbizness: LMAO! But I say he’d need to lose another 50 …
BTW, our ghetto-fabulous EX-mayor (love the beard, Kwame) is headed for Texas today for a job interview. He’s YOUR problem now, peoples. Detroit will get its revenge for the auto bailout yet!
“My God, I told myself as I walked through a heavenly avenue with snow-laden branches bejewelling my steps, this is the most beautiful city in the world! It was snowing from Epping Forest to Heathrow, Upminster to Uxbridge, on duke and dustman in a way that it hasn’t for ages and probably won’t for a good while. Savour it, I told myself.”
God, the British are such fags.
Larry McAwful: Did anyone hear Thom Hartmann do an interview with JTP where all he did was ask him plumbing questions? HILARIOUS!
Also, did Obama make fun of the Brits because they couldn’t deal with a little bit of snow?
He came out jail with a beard? That can only mean one thing: he’s gone Mohammedan!
MarieDeGournay:
I’ve abandoned the idea of explaining the difference between global warming trends and local weather to morans.
Larry McAwful:
Go for broke. I’d like to hear him explain the concepts of the binding energy curve, just for the ’soda-through-the-nose’ laughter.
CivicHoliday: Teehee.. Your comment got me a wonderin’ what the fundies are up to. Turns out, the king of fundies, James Dobson, supported the Cardinals just cuz Obama supported the other team.
Big Nelsonesque Haha!
Don’t worry, kwame will pack those lost pounds back on as soon as his motorcade makes a stop at White Castle. He loves him some sliders.
rmontcal: No! Really? Got a link? I’m going to look for one. Was it radio or TV?
“In light of the incident, Comcast says it will issue a $10 credit to any customers who say they viewed the 30-second clip, which featured full male nudity.”
Wow, that is stimulating.
I’m still in awe of this sentence from the porn article:
“We take this matter seriously,” spokesman Wyn Hornbuckle said.
rmontcal: Here it is! Thom Hartmann interviewing Joe the Plumber!
http://airamerica.com/blog/2009/jan/29/joe-plumber-talks-thom-hartmann
InKnockYouUs: $10? That sucks. I can get that by covering my face with shoe polish and impersonating a police officer at highway rest stops any night of the week.
I typically use the weekends to recover.
Mr Blifil:
Too much effort. I can get a fat bank roll at any intersection. I have high faith that the average imbecile won’t read that they’re donating to the Make-A-Witch Foundation. Planned escape routes are recommended.
A little snow did what even Hitler’s bombs could not: shut down public tranport. So much for the stiff upper lip.
Porn, porn, porn. Years ago, I was happily watching Dr Who on TV, when suddenly there appeared a rather stocky bald man dancing around naked accept for a cloak, his little stallion was out of the coral. He danced around for a good 5 minutes then Poof! he was gone. Seems someone parked a transmitter truck right next to the Sears Tower and hijacked the local PBS signal. Needless to say the next day the FCC swore they were going to “get their man”. Never did. Hmmm, I wonder….
Mr Blifil: I’m guessing you’re excerpting from Waugh or Forster.
People, it’s “Cox Cable”! Do the math!
If Hitler had a weather machine Harry Potter would be speaking German.
CivicHoliday: Are Mormons allowed to watch football? Aren’t the pants too tight?