We truly do not want to prattle on about this nonsense much longer, but it’s fair to post our biased, liberal accounts of David Denby’s appearance on an NPR affiliate today, during which a HEROIC Wonkette reader made it through screeners (natch) to pose a question directly to this film demon re: his horrible errors against American Journalism. Much squirming, as well as new factual errors, ensued.

First, here’s the report from brave Wonkette radio operative “Laura,” from Irving, Texas. “Laura” is so rich that she actually owns a telephone:

Dear Wonkette,

I called into “Think” on KERA in Dallas to defend your honor. I called Denby out on his lack of fact checking. His new position is that it’s okay to say a woman wrote the Chelsea blog because, according to him, most of the commenters on Wonkette *are* women. He also acknowledged on his own (!) that the bottle-in-neck post was pre-tumor, but said that because you linked to the bottle post on your tumor post, Wonkette is vicious and mean, and gave his “what kind of minds would do that” line.

Irving, TX

A second account from Wonkette second-account operative Brett “The Hitman” Hart:

That douche David Denby was on KERA, my local NPR affiliate. A brave Wonketter somehow managed to be the first caller through to ask him a question, naturally, about the factual problems he has when discussing Wonkette. He stammers through not knowing Jim was a dude before going on to say that the blog is, “mostly written by women… and reflects the nasty, mean nature of snark” or words to that effect. He also amends his Teddy Kennedy line to say the post in question was “reposted” the day he went in for brain surgery. Later in the hour, he states Wonkette is still owned by Gawker.

The hour itself convinced me I shouldn’t buy the book. Denby had no idea what he was talking about, and you reading any part of that book gets a gold star from me. His apparent thesis was that snark only happens when teenagers let too much information about themselves out online, AND THEN THE EVIL BLOGS SNARK THEM AND THEN THE CELEBRITIES. Really. The podcast will be up at eventually (it’s NPR), might be worth checking out, might not. You already know Denby’s an idiot and all this hour-long (less pledge drives) interview does is confirm it.

We have nothing else to add beyond highlighting this other factual error, that Wonkette is still owned by Gawker. Wrong, and this claim also appears in his book.

We leave you with a nice nugget from this recent LA Times interview:

[LAT]: You lay out nine Principles of Snark. Which of these is the worst? Which is most personally offensive to you?

Denby: No. 5. Total disregard of routine journalism. No phone calls, no checking things out. Journalism should try not to slander people.

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  1. Gawker might sue him for slander, for suggesting that it still has any control of us TruckNutz-lovin’, snark throwin’ feeeemales over here.

  2. Bravo to the daring Dallasites! Denby, like most traditional journalists, see themselves being marginalized by the online democracy. As well they should.
    Rise up, oh fellow cyber serfs! The revolution will be online!
    (If I can just manage to keep my electricity and broadband paid for.)

  3. What does Wonkette being “mostly women” have to do with anything??
    Because firstly, that’s factually not correct, and secondly, huh?

    40-60 year old white males just really aren’t getting it done these days…

  4. [re=234306]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I was, and still am, last time I checked. Time for a potty break?

    My, but Denby (Dumby?) comes off poorly in this whole episode. Props to Laura for good grilling and to Brett for reportage.

  5. I think we have been too tough on Mr. Denby. After all, this place does not really possess the rigor of paragons of journalistic virtue like Judith Miller, Robert Novak, and David Gregory.

  6. [re=234319]magic titty[/re]: You are so right… Viz: Our PRESIDENT, who IS getting it done. But I better not tell my boss this; one needs one’s paycheck.

  7. First he gets shown up week in, week out by Anthony Lane. Now random Wonkette callers are calling him out on NPR? Poor, poor guy.

  8. This has to be a ruse — nobody can be this obliviously sanctimonious without having had experience in the previous administration. I’m betting he’s doing this to research his next book, Asshole: How a Narcissistic Whiny Twatwaffle Made Everybody Sick of Him.

  9. Attention Mr. Denby: Some of us just wear the underwear strictly as a comfort thing. Also, dressing like wonder woman while your girlfriend wears a strap on and a teddy ruxpin head is strictly heterosexual, in today’s zeitgeist.

  10. Ah, so we’re all just wimminz on here catfighting and snarking and pulling celebrity hair?

    Methinks Denby is reading these comments, sweatily imagining we’re all fighty wimminz who will suddenly stop word-wrestling and just start making out in a p0rntastic blog fuckfest.

    Such imaginings would fit with what usually brings him to teh internets.

  11. I’m confused. Wonkette is mostly womens. OK, but what’s up with the massive ad with the Coulterguist? Is she a womenz? No. Then I guess Wonkette is mostly womenz. Snark, snark, snark, just in case Denby is fact checking, bwah hah hah

  12. Denby wouldn’t know snark if it bit him on the ass. He wouldn’t know TruckNutz if they dangled in his face. From my teabag to your nose, Denby.

  13. As a Vagina-American, I must admit to feeling there’s a slightly depressed, going-through-the-motions feel to this entire show. You continue to drain the poetry, fantasy, and comedy out of Gawker’s original conception for “Wonkette”.

    There, how’s that for catty? BAM!

  14. If “Laura” had to pledge, I hope she wins the bottle of cabernet and the trip to Healdsburg.

    [re=234324]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Plus, if I am a woman, then I must also be a lesbian, since I still find women attractive. This has certainly been an interesting day.

  15. So PUMApac says we’re all “boiz” and Denby says we’re all “girls.” For two groups that don’t read a lot of Wonkette they sure to purport to know a lot about us.

    Today we are all gender-confused commentators. (usually it’s just me.)

  16. He is such a denby!

    And there is a sexist tenor to this concern of his about the gender of the posters and commenters on this here internet thingy. With the tubes.

    Another XY Wonkette commenter.

  17. I know you don’t want to harp on this, but can we do this again at a future Denby interview? Frightening confused old people is one of my favorite things in life.

    [re=234340]MegsOfMegs[/re]: Ummm…that is what brings me to teh internets.

  18. Apropriately chastened, Denby retreats to his pornatorium for a self-inflicted fapping to within an inch of his miserable life. And I mean inch.

  19. Yay, Laura! Doing us proud up here in big hair land.
    Its a shame my radio’s broken and I’m too lazy to get it repaired, all I have to choose from car listening-wise is hippie talk radio, sports talk radio, or a ten year old scratchy-ass cassette of Centro-Matic.

  20. I wasn’t really caring about this whole thing until I read he said this:

    “mostly written by women… and reflects the nasty, mean nature of snark”

    What a douche. No, seriously, what a huge douche.

  21. He’s right. If only all the pissed-off bitches would just stay barefoot and pregnant at all times, they wouldn’t have time to make with the snark.

    Hey David I had trouble getting laid in high school, but I got over it.

  22. This guy is dumber than advertised. Reminds me of the part of Al Franken’s “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot” where he calls the official fact checker for the Rush Limbaugh show. Wonder if it’s the same guy, his inability to get the most basic facts correct seems to be a match.

    KEN LAYNE. I don’t know very many (any) girls named KEN. And reading the comments on a single post on Wonkette would show an overwhelming number of men, most of whom throw out TMI like it was going out of style (not criticizing, just pointing it out) and leave no doubt about their gender.

    Also: the sale of Wonkette was just a little bit of a big deal in new media press. 6 out of 10 of the first page of google results for “wonkette +gawker” are headlined “Gawker sells off Wonkette” or some variation thereof.

  23. In David Denby’s world, if you engage in snark you’re either a woman or a gay bottom (which after three beers is practically the same thing).

  24. Dear Eds. (XX and XY notwithstanding):
    Not giving two shits about Denby personally, but OMFG that Ann Coulter ad/pic is making my penis go all turtle-like. She looks like a piranha that got attacked at the MAC counter.

  25. Aha! Apparently my deep loathing for Sarah Palin is merely a byproduct of the fact that we both have vaginas (although mine has not been stretched to cavernous proportions by multiple births).

    Thank you for making it all clear Denby, you twunt.

  26. Wait, what’s wrong with snark? He wrote a snarky, anti snark book and you are giving him bandwidth? I’m going to write to Gawker and tell them that you women have to go.

  27. [re=234343]tiny mexican[/re]: Particularly the poetry. Ah, how I long for days when I could mark the metrical patterns of the snark and the musical metaphors for butt fucking.

  28. [re=234381]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I have never been so happy with my work computers Ad Blocker. I used to miss out on all the American Apparel jokes but this is different.

    [re=234373]rev_matt_y[/re]: TMI? What? You didn’t want to read my dissertation on life as a confused, alcholic, half-fag?

  29. Ah, I see, by Denby logic all people who perform “snark” are female or female-like and thus bad, horrible, fake humans with no souls. Us silly gals with our female-ness are not even worthy of being humans.

    God. It is so easy to hate this guy.

  30. [re=234319]magic titty[/re]: 40-60 year old white males just really aren’t getting it done these days…

    They (we in my case) never were–not in the past couple of decades at least.

  31. [re=234391]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Kev, I love you most of all ;)

    @Origami: I hadn’t noted that little bit before, but now that you mention it his thesis seems to be “Women=bad”.

  32. It has a picture of a girl on it, ergo, it is all written by wimminz. And don’t forget that wimminz divorce people, people like David Denby. Women are terrible! They do not hit you, but they hurt you with their tongues, their mean and bitter words, their sheer dominating cruelty . . .

    What’s that, Mother? You want to punish me again?? But Mother, please . . . please . . . I will be a good boy . . . No, Mother, I do not want to kiss you good night, not in that way . . . Yes, yes, Mother . . .

    I will Obey.

    *ree ree ree*

  33. [re=234381]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Ann is the perfect example of “I wouldn’t ______ her with your _______.

    Can be Mad Libbed as necessary.

  34. Oh, man, so Denby’s argument boils down to “snark is bad because women have issues with other women in public and are heartless because they are so self-absorbed.” Also, judging from the repeated .gif attached to all Denby stories, he’s starring in a sequel to the “Ring” J-horror franchise. Neither fact is going to help his credibility.

  35. Oh good lord. He actually continues to insist that Wonkette is written “mostly” by women.

    You can download the podcast here and Laura’s call starts at 18:45.

  36. Wait, this wouldn’t be the same operative ‘Laura’ as in ‘Laura-with-mysterious-business-card-in-underwear’ fame? Tis a stiff note in one’s britches or somesuch.

  37. In the end, it is all right, since Most of Denby’s columns are written by girls too.

    [re=234326]V572625694[/re]: I was just thinking that now that I’m a woman, I’m going to have a lot more fun masturbating tonight.

    [re=234345]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Has anyone gone over to the confluence et al and let them know that we are all women (or is that wimyn?) and that they should stop being so bigoted against us?

    [re=234353]mei0023[/re]: Very true. It is a well known fact that anyone that claims to be a woman on the internet is in fact either Larry Craig or some other Republican.

  38. The problem with snark, as Mr Denby well knows, is that it lives beneath the bed. His own bed, but also especially, young wimmins’ beds. Also. And when left alone, it multiplies in the night. And soon, it is crawling all over the walls and saying all kinds of shit about you. Young wimmin go inside the internet and come out infested with it, and then they are coming into a respectable man’s room at night, with mouth open and fangs drawn, and all kinds of shit about you comes out and then you’re screwed.

  39. Exactly what dumbshit would buy this book in the first place? . . . who buys books about the internets tubes? . . . and who would pay Denby to do anything?

    Maybe I’m just lost in perimenopause (again) but none of this makes any sense to me. No wonder the country’s economy is in the crapper.

  40. We get all the guyz together and next time it snows we go to his house and pee our names into the snow (no woman could do that, ok, maybe Cher could).

  41. donner_froh: I would suggest “I wouldn’t fuck Denby with Ann Coulter’s dick!” A statement that is somehow less gender confused and sexist than Denby himself.

  42. [re=234324]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: My wife is still, half-heartedly, looking for the part of me that isn’t women. She is getting discouraged. Please advise.

    Sarah Palin is a woman, and we know where that gets us. Also.

    Either Denby is confused or I am. My money is on Denby.

  43. [re=234409]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: PUMApac is all feministy about the SuperBowl and the Confluence reads like they went off their meds.

    Malkin’s been prattling on about Obama’s little crack at the end of his Lauer interview yesterday. He commented about Us Weekly covering up his picture on the cover with a headline about Ashley Simpson. He made an innocuous remark about the headline that I knew would be fodder for Malkin and she is OUTRAGED (shocked!) that he could be so insensitive!!!!1! Yes, miss “Graeme Frost is fair game” herself is lecturing on sensitivity.

    RE: Denby. What a dick. Obviously I read other news sources but Wonkette just calms my nerves. I don’t know what I would have done without this site over the last eight months. You don’t like snark? don’t fucking read it! He’s got a lot of nerve. Like Kathy Griffin said “we don’t come down to where you work and knock the dicks out of your mouth.”

  44. [re=234332]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You come up with the BEST hypothetical book titles.

    I’m curious about the percentage of female commenters here, as I suspect it’s high, but I doubt it’s more than half. And to be honest, as a vagina-possessing consumer of snark, most of the best snark on the web comes from men. Even the better celeb gossip blogs (not you, Perez) are written by men.

  45. “mostly written by women… and reflects the nasty, mean nature of snark”

    Maybe he only reads in the morning, when Sara has the writing mostly to herself?

  46. I’m TRYING to listen to the podcast of this interview but my dog won’t quit growling at my laptop… Just as well, I’m getting really sick of the way he ends? Every sentence and phrase? With an upward inflection? Like it’s a question? Even though it isn’t really?

    Makes sense though… if I was on the radio after not bothering to research ANY of my facts, I’d be questioning myself as I went too…

  47. [re=234411]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You all seem to be under the impression that women have insatiable sexual appetites, love feeling the softness of our own breasts, and have outstanding orgasms several times a day.

    What’s that? Oh, nothing. Just pointing out that you guys are occasionally right about stuff.

  48. [re=234423]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: “PUMApac is all feministy about the SuperBowl”

    TBQH all the ads were shit and perhaps this is the only feminist-related thing PUMApac has ever been right about, ever.

  49. How does Denby know the gender of most Wonkette commenters? For all he knows, we’re all the same person with one or two hundred different accounts.

  50. I’ve only been a womyn a few minutes now, and I already hate the phallo-centric hegemony by oppressor pigs like Denby. Plus, I’m re-thinking Hillary Clinton.

  51. [re=234406]itgetter[/re]: I can’t believe I listened to almost that whole thing. Denby sees ad-hominem and name-calling on the web, calls that snark, and rails against everything that fits the actual more broad characterization of snarkiness. What’s very telling about how bereft this definition is, is that during the show the host brings up examples of biting sarcasm and Denby says they’re not snark because the author is famous (no, he really makes this argument).
    So really, his definition of snark boils down to “mean things said about me by people I’ve never heard of.” Jesus, Denby — you know you could walk faster if you didn’t carry your placenta around everywhere, right?

  52. What a stupid, lazy piece of poo that David Denby is. Wonkette is mostly men, something anyone who reads this blog would know from:

    A. All the horn-ball comments

    B. Ken’s shill for blog-ads in which he plainly states that Our Wonkette is: wildly popular among a mostly male, very affluent and well educated adult crowd.

    What I’m sayin’ is that it’s a good place to catch a husband.

  53. My favorite thing about NPR is how they have guest after guest on and jerk them off with soft ball questions. It’s all so good-natured. I mean, they have a monopoly on what they do…a very real one. They could actually be more…journalistic. But I guess what people want is the endless quaint prattling.

  54. Ha ha! David Denby, *she’s* such a bag of nozzles…More elitist Emily Post-like preciosity. Just what the country needs: someone whining about something inconsequential and getting paid for it. I think to myself, “now, this is JUST what all the starving and homeless people need to read in their hobo jungles…”.

  55. [re=234439]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Further proof of why you are one of my favorite Wonketteers. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to disapear for five minutes…….,

    Wait, I’m a women now, so if you will excuse me, I have to take a half-hour warm shower.

  56. during the show the host brings up examples of biting sarcasm and Denby says they’re not snark because the author is famous (no, he really makes this argument)

    American sucker says WHAT?

  57. So, I listened to the podcast. Or at least the part where Laura does her brave but futile effort to tell this man he’s got it all wrong. I mean even the PUMA ladies would be offended by his claim that the piece about Chelsea Clinton was a strange by-product of a catfight.

    The Ted Kennedy stuff… Apparently Mr Denby hasn’t been awake for the last – what? – 2000 years. Making fun of somebody’s death or about our leaders’ shortcomings has always been an important thing of Western, Mediterranean, Muslim etc. literature. Kinda interesting he didn’t pick any of those millions of utterly un-respectful posts about John McCain’s health.

    But of course, I have seen it too: Some oldskool journalists have developed a blind spot what comes to the Internet. They can’t understand the anonymity of the commentators, or the numerous allusions to all kinds of works in all possible levels of the human culture, from LOLCATZ to Stendhal.

  58. If ms. Denby wants to critique snark, she should start with Bob Dylan’s early sixties output. That should put her out of the running for life. Sorry, loser

  59. Thank you “Laura” but of course now it’s totally true that we are all females/she-males here. You proved it to him. All one of you.
    We have some very talented reviewers here who do understand Hell, Truck Nutz and why it is unnecessary to read the material before reviewing and giving it a 5 star rating. Now Denby can get a shot of what he ladles out so sloppily to everyone.

  60. Now when my wife comes home and finds me sitting here with her “things” on I can point out this post and say I am in solidarity and showing my feminine side

  61. [re=234430]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I didn’t mean to denigrate Juli’s good work, but since she is not allowed yet to snark full-time, I frequently forget to include her in the batch. Which is wrong of me. I apologize. Juli’s vagina just about evens things out, unless we count jfruh as TWO men, because he is so virile. It’s a tough call.

  62. All my lady bits are intact and in proper working order. Wonkette, here I come. That douche bag is so scared of women it isn’t even funny. Everyone knows gay men are the biggest bitches on the planet anyway. Gah!

  63. Oh, Ken. Never apologize for posting a story that gives the wonkeratti a chance to affirm to each other how great is and, of course, by extension how snarky clever we are for being in the “exclusive” group.

    Denby is the kind of person who should stay shut up in a library reading the OED all day with evening breaks to take part in his Sherlock Holmes re-enactor group.

    Whoop-te-doo, the Lorab just kicked in. While I’m even fuzzier in the head than usual, I’m remembering someone who posted a few days ago that s/he was about to into a work meeting and find out who would be getting laid off. (layed off? In this economy, that could be an important grammatical point). I’ve wondered several times how that worked out.

  64. [re=234353]mei0023[/re]: There damned sure are women on the internets where my husband hangs out. At least, really nasty pictures of women. Since I taught him how to use empy cache, he’s old guy gone wild.

  65. Of course most of the commenters on Wonkette are women. Wonkette is the blog owned by Gawker devoted to celebrity, sex and fashion for women. Everyone knows that.

  66. This place has severly lacked estrogen since we don’t get updates on Butterstick and the Buttseks. The menz in charge only care about the cocktoberfest.

    Bring back the pandas, dammitz!

  67. Hahaha this is essentially a battle for money.

    SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK SNAEK. DENBY IS RIGHT. That term gets mighty annoying after you mention it in a book say, 100,000 times.

  68. Hey, Dengleberry- Checking things out? Journalism? Funny, I don’t remember that post where I claimed to be journalist. Come to think of it, I’ve never read a post from any Wonketteer making such a claim.

    Mind you, if I was going to publish something like a book, for instance, in which I presented data as fact and expected people to hand over their hard earned shekels for it, then I might make an effort to get things right.

    But then I’m just a humble snarkmeister, not a serious journalist like your august self, right Davo?

  69. The outpouring of emotion, love and respect and trucknutz on Denby’s Amazon review is so ridiculously heartwarming! I could just hug you all.

  70. Fuck me Jim, but quoting that LAT interview snippet not only demonstrates, but fucking embodies the efficacy and genius of Snark. Thank you. Why, I’m going to cut and paste it right here cause it makes my eyeballs so happy:

    [LAT]: You lay out nine Principles of Snark. Which of these is the worst? Which is most personally offensive to you?

    Denby: No. 5. Total disregard of routine journalism. No phone calls, no checking things out. Journalism should try not to slander people.

  71. I KNEW I was a Lesbian when I found myself reading snarky-old Wonkette everyday.
    I also fantasize drilling that cute logo-gal with the glasses.

    Now I get Tina Fey!

    What a day of revelations.

    Andy (Wonketter?)

    Also, however…

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