Wonkette
Republicans have made the only conclusion possible about their party following the electoral repudiation of an ancient war hero who ran on the “not a Negro” platform and chose as his running mate a proud religious nutjob ignoramus with a bubble of methane where her brain should be: they have decided their party keeps losing because they aren’t conservative enough.
Libtards, cast your minds back to the elections of 2000, 2002, and 2004, and your bewilderment about why people didn’t vote for Democrats. “It’s because we aren’t principled enough!” you wailed. “It’s because we’re doing all this Clintonite middle-of-the-road waffling instead of proudly standing up for mandatory gay marriage and compulsory state-funded abortions and a complete liquidation of the military!”
Set aside 2000, because who knows what was going on there. But in ‘02 and ‘04, people were scared and they liked Bush’s war talk so they voted Republican. Similarly, in ‘06 and ‘08, people were sick of Republicans and ready to put the running of government back into the hands of people who do not profess to despise government.
So naturally, over half of Republicans have decided that the extremely conservative, intellectually useless Sarah Palin can revivify the party so that they can get back to hating/running government again.
Coming off a shellacking at the polls in November, the plurality of GOP voters (43%) say their party has been too moderate over the past eight years, and 55% think it should become more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future, according to a new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey. Just 24% think failed presidential candidate John McCain is the best future model for the party, and 10% are undecided.
Only 17% of Republican voters say their party has been too conservative, and 30% say its actions and positions have been about right, with nine percent (9%) not sure.
Ha ha good luck LOZERS, you will be out of power for another generation.
Republicans Like GOP’s Conservative Direction, Democrats Don’t [Rasmussen Reports]
After they get sick of eating Hobo beans and living in pyramids MADE of used hobo-bean tins, maybe only THEN will they realize that they should for once just mind their own fucking business, pay taxes and shut up.
a bubble of methane where her brain should be
That’s an insult to inert gases everywhere.
Thus guaranteeing the continued survival of comedy shows across the nation.
Their biggest problem is CLEARLY the fact that they still haven’t reached out to Ron Paul or bought Truck Nutz for all Americans.
I was worried when they voted for a somewhat moderate chairman for the RNC, but shit. I’m all for them going for the crazy wingnut vote.
That’s the “Not a Magic Negro” platform. Also.
On an unrelated note, the solution for too much sunshine is too cut down as many trees as possible. And baldness can be cured by shaving your head.
user-of-owls: I’m not sure that word means what you think it means….
Stupid is as stupid does.
user-of-owls:
Hey! Sienze Nerd here. Methane burns thus not inert.
Well, a plurality of insane wingnuts can’t be wrong.
The new leader of the Republican party should not be Sarah Palin.
It should be the fetal child of Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh.
Wait, what’s that I hear? Ah yes, the delightful pitter patter of tiny lemming feet. Run, little lemmings, run.
Um, why is She Who Shall Not Be Named and Yet Refuses to Go Away dominating the left-hand side of my Wonkette comment view?
As for the post: Republican minds are clearly de-volving back to the primordial slime ooze from whence they came. Oh that’s right, they don’t believe in (de)volution. Go on not believing and the Democrats will take over the universe in 2 generations.
“Similarly, in ‘06 and ‘08, people were sick of Republicans and ready to put the running of government back into the hands of people who do not profess to despise government.”
I love that…the whole “let’s entrust running the government to the people who think that government can’t do anything right and should be dismantled and then act shocked when they fuck shit up” thing.
Fawxer: Horrors like that are why I am pro-choice.
Did you mean a “bubble of methane” or “a bubble of crystal meth” where Sarah Palin’s brain should be? I think either analogy would fit quite well.
The link below the article is missing an “h” at the beginning of the “http.”
yeah, we were way too moderate under our greatest. president. ever. he should’ve flown back from Crawford at twice supersonic speed to sign the schiavo bill then personally flown to florida to feed her like a bird feeds its young. morans. also. when are we going to start teaching kids about how moses rode dinosaurs? also.
the longer these dumbshits keep following Queen Rush right off the cliff of stupidity, the more irrelevant they become. you can almost hear the world whizzing right by them. i was thinking that nothing that scat-muncher* says will get him kicked off the air, but i then i realized that’s a good thing. as he alienates more & more people with even a faint sense of logic, all that’ll be left of the “true conservatives” will be the bachmann/palins of the world.
*copyright to bill hicks, r.i.p.
The “American Idol”:
a telegeninc, untalented, non-entiy:
One joke that made the rounds in ‘08
was that we should pick political leaders
the same way that glorified Karaoke Contest
awards recording contracts. Count on
the effin’ GOPers to actually DO it.
The ONLY thing this woman has going for
her is that she is one fine lookin’
piece of 44 year old ass.
jbd: ManchuCandidate: No, it used to burn, but then it got laid off and so now it’s inert. Or idle. It’s an idle gas. Bloody layabout.
I note that all the rupublogreed governors in our great country are saying “Screw you Congress! We want that bailout money!” It is to laugh. Tax cuts indeed!
Perhaps a better strategy would be for Palin and her ilk to continue producing human litters until they physically create a, uh, “moral” majority.
I hope they know that Alaska has medical marijuana, and decriminalization, and can only afford to screw around the way they do because of their socialism and oil deals. Haha. I am not sure what Sarah Palin’s America looks like to those people, but it’s a fake dream that will never happen. I know politics doesn’t like to exist in the real world, but that’s kind of fucking stupid. It doesn’t matter what they want anyway, Independents are most likely going to be the ones that decide the elections in all future times.
Coming off a shellacking at the polls in November, the plurality of GOP voters (43%) say their party has been too moderate over the past eight years
I’m sorry, I got to this part and I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to finish. What does the rest of it say?
I’m a’gonna donate to her election campaign. Twice. She makes me joyous.
I think the Fuck Me Boots stategem will capture a certain niche:
http://thesuperficial.com/2009/02/sarah_palin_adds_fck_me_boots.php
the nightmares are real aren’t they? she’s really not going away.
if one didn’t hate john mccain before, he gave us all more reasons than we could ever need, the day he gave us sarah palin. there has to be a special kind of hell for that kind of crime against humanity.
Of course, this is a survey of people who still identify as Republicans. Most of them also believe that Orlando will be hit by a meteor during the next Gay Pride Festival, that trees cause air pollution, and that our government is now in the hands of an Indonesian Muslim. It’s surprising that fewer than half thought the GOP wasn’t conservative enough, but then the surveyors probably discounted those answers that were given in tongues.
55% think it should become more like Alaska Governor Sarah Palin in the future
I for one look forward to the time when all Republicans everywhere will end every sentence with a huge wink and butt wiggle. Come on Boehner, McConnell, etc.! Your constituents demand it!
Anyone else catch the Anger Bear’s little “shout out” on the SuperBowl last night? I saw the dingbat all dolled up with her expensive hair and makeup about twenty minutes before kick off.
Gosh she’s just so darned folksy and wholesome it makes me poop Stouffer’s Stuffing in my overalls, also!
Sarah Palin, the gift that keeps on giving, even after her Chapstick runs out.
sarcasticusername: That fuckwits responsible for the Anger Bear, Joe the Played Out Idiot and Tito the Wannabe Played Out Idiot. I say skip the judge and jury and get straight to the execution of all four of them.
WendyK:
maybe we could do a threesome
with her. we could ALL be joyous.
Reagan was an idiot too, mouthing empty conservative memes about eliminating corporate income tax, privatizing TVA, etc. So the voters resoundingly rejected him, right?
Palin + better handlers + more money + more time = Reagan
Palin-as-Reagan vs. Democratic incumbent + recession or inconclusive military action = eight years of Reuglicans in charge again.
During the Bush years, I and many progressives considered leaving the US for a more tolerant, enlightened land. There are many of these - Canada, most of Europe.
But where would the Republicans go if they can’t deal with an inclusive, intelligent, secular, forward-thinking Obama America? There is no developed country more conservative.
Therefore, given the Republican infatuation with Sarah Palin, these Republicans should be encouraged to actually MOVE to Alaska. They can take their moose guns, scary churches, and cruisy toilets. They can drill for oil all they want, deny global warming, and keep an eye on Putin for us, when he “rears his head.”
Then, we can just ignore them from a distance.
Fawxer: The word around the nuttier conservative blogs last November was Australia.
Sarah Palin cummings i-i-i:
The “American Idol”
telegenicy , un-talented, non-en-titty:
One joke that made the rounds in ‘08
the laziest sea of self
was that we should appoint appointeys
her sensles heartland blather
a lucky phipps of you
turns people into eaches
and blohards into grow
the same way that Karaoke Contest
awards recording contracts. Count on
the ephhin ’ GOPers
who are so all and oneful
to ONLY watch her DD.
The ONLY thing this woman bee
is that she one fine lookin’
piece of old ess.
See is threw sea so sky
she is threw me so why
Fawxer: There is no developed country more conservative.
Where else but the paradise they’ve built, and are so rightfully proud of — Iraq?
V572625694: Now you’re scaring me. And here I was all thinking we should donate to SaraPAC ‘n stuff.
snideinplainsight:
well her DD ain’t so bad to
watch. i only wished her
iq matched that “dd”.
I can’t wait for all my free stuff now that the Dems control the federal government.
It’s so cute how the republicans keep flapping their gums, thinking they are relevant… it’s like watching a junkie rolling around on the floor, clawing at his face, convinced he’s covered with invisible bugs. We don’t see the bugs, assholes, because they are not really there!
If Palin thinks Mike Huckleberry is just going to shrivel up & blow away (ha ha–funny imagery), she’s dumber than even we think. The good preacher man has been doing his Fox news show polishing up his conservative bona fides & biding his time. I eagerly await the death match between these two biblical farts. Oh & throw in the Mormon Mittens–good times ahead!
Kev-O-Tron: Is Australia MORE conservative?
SayItWithWookies: Good call.
Either way it’s fine with me.
Well she is puuurty lil thing.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
On Fox News Sunday, Michael Steele said he wants the GOP to reach out to candidates who support gay marriage and are pro-choice. Steele told Fox’s Chris Wallace that it was “important” to reach out to those voters.
So basically, they are completely out of touch with their base. I wonder which will end up being their voice going into 2012. The bigotted asshole bible thumpers or the rich bastards?
What does it even mean, to be “more like Sarah Palin”, or more properly, more like Sarah Palin in what respect, Charlie? Does anybody know a thing she stands for, other than shopping at Nieman Marcus and dropping retards all over the landscape?
Fawxer: It’s been tough for them, since the Union of South Africa folded.
Tra: “I for one look forward to the time when all Republicans everywhere will end every sentence with a huge wink and butt wiggle”
Sarah Palin + Butt Wiggle = ewww gross. She is not purdy. She looks like an insect, a bug which needs to be squashed. Somebody please squash her. After 2012.
WadISay:
She inspires loyalty in
GOPers of a certain age
the same way that viagra
restores potency to the
same cohort — a big fat
mindless hard-on ready to
fuck the first opening
that it finds.
ManchuCandidate: user-of-owls: Methane is produce by rotting vegetation and bovine flatulence, also.
Therefore, SKS’ statement is an insult to cow farts every where.
In reference to the link, I think Democrats should LOVE the Repub’s conservative movement. The humor! The electoral victories!
Fifty-seven percent (57%) of Evangelical Christians say that teen girls should practice saddlebacking in order to save themselves for holy matrimony.
I hear she’s building yet another bridge to nowhere. Obviously, she chatted with Obama at the Alfalfa dinner and got on board with the public works part of the stimulus package. Also.
Republickans.
Republicans will begin stating that they need to return to their basic values. And pay attention only to:
The Father (Limbaugh)
The Son (Coulter)
and the Holy Ghost (Kristol)
That facial expression of hers just screams to me “it’s time for the money shot at the RNC convention Bukkake event.”
Mark my words, in four years this woman will look like Dana Carvey as The Church Lady. Will act just like him too.
@ Texan Bulldoggette
THAT is what I’m looking forward to. Fuckabees vs Bible Spice vs Mittins is gonna be like some crazy Wrestlemania bullshit. There will be accusations of Unrighteousness thrown at Fuckabees and Magical underwear talk at Mittins and we may see some nude photos of Bible Spice before it all ends.
It’ll be a lot like three komodo dragons, wacked out on thorazine, mdma and crystal meth trying to eat and hump each other. It’ll be somewhat like the end of a Palahniuk novel. It’ll slightly resemble that bit in Super Mario World where you’ve got to fight the three firebreathing rhino things while on a spinning platform…
And then Obama is going to stomp a mud hole in the ass of whoever wins the nomination. Because whoever manages to seduce the wingnuts is going to have to go so far to the right that comparatively sane people will never even think about voting for them.
(As long as he doesn’t fuck things up horribly.)
Splitters!!
If the RNC keeps up this whole campaign of alienation…
in 2012 the DNC’s new slogan should be
“All your voting base are belong to us.”
Also.
LEEVE SARA PALLIN ALONE, SHE”S A CRISTIAN AND A MOM AND WE NEED MORE OF THAT IN OWR GOVERNEMEN ALSO YOU GODLESS LIBS WAN TO SEE THIS CUNTRY FAIL INTO RECESHUN AND HIGH JOBLESNESS THAT BEYONCE AND LUDICRISP HAVE CREATED.
WadISay:
What does it even mean, to be “more like Sarah Palin”, or more properly, more like Sarah Palin in what respect, Charlie?
“Not elected?”
And here I thought we would never find common ground …
user-of-owls: Methane is hardly an _inert_ gas. Give the governor some credit.
Fear not, Children. God has not spoken yet. Note thee well that Wasilla is merely 120 mile (approx) from Mt. Redoubt.
user-of-owls: If only methane was really inert–all evidence is to the contrary–Palin’s VP run, that terrible Wasilla dumpster smell, and the seemingly random methane explosions occuring everyday in our nation’s hobo trash heaps.
Ha! Wolf-lovin’ Hollywood-types take on Gov. Palin’s wolf killing hobby:
http://eyeonpalin.org/
There is a huge Sarah P.over on the left who musta et the Annthing I saw earlier. I need a drink or a pill.
Jesus Christ! The contradictions. They’ll fight tooth and nail against any governance except, of course, that which is decreed by their Utopian church-state from a twisted and purpose-driven interpretation of Jeebus’ bestseller. The desecration of God’s/Godess’ dominion is of no importance because Lush Rimjob told ‘em it was a God-given right. However, the goings-on in America’s bedrooms IS a state matter and subject to it’s laws. In other words, you may kill, maim, or destroy what you want, but not fuck who you want. This is freedom!?
Since their ‘rights’ only apply to the people of their choosing ( Wonder bread ), then shouldn’t ONLY those same people be solely subject to their laws?
Why not just let ‘em have their goddamned Confederacy? Perhaps their imminent collapse will open their eyes to the farce that is their world.
No leaders amongst the Republicants, just followers. And their proud of it. (?)
Them ‘publicans say all their problems are solved now that they’ve got their own Magic Negro.
No wonder Todd goes for 10 thousand mile snow machine rides.
Crazybroad: Well, either somebody thinks Wonketteers are avid Newsmax readers or we’re just willing to click on a photo of Sarah Palin with an American-flag-emblazoned moose lapel pin…
Caribou Barbie has her own secret strategy for campaignin’ when she’s at the top of the ticket.
Braless till the weather gets a little warmer, then topless.
How can she run for prezdint of Murrica — wasn’t she “palling around with terrists” at the Alfalfa dinner?
ph7: and the not-wearing-panties thing will capture houseflies…
NunnaTheSOBs: Yew betcha’!
I don’t think y’all should make fun of strong, intelligent, beautiful, tasty soda pop, PRO BABIES!, wonderful woman because you are jealous and afraid of her power. You bitter liberals just can’t leave poor Sarah alone because you’re scared of her love for babies while you hate babies and want all babies to die because you gave Satan a foothold and want to live without God also.
Trace: Strong - like a moose; intelligent - like a moose; beautiful - like a she-moose! Palin/Plumber 2012!!!
With the Republicans running Palin and the Dems running Obama, it looks like no one is going to win the next election.
SayItWithWookies: That’s “Indonesian Muslin.” For the love of Reagan will you get in right next time? Sheesh!
You betcha she’s gonna be the sexy new Prez of Real America one day. Then she won’t have to venture into Fake America to drop thousands updating her rustic Wasilla look to something more presentable to modern society. She can wear all the pink tutus she wants!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Servo: I agree, Servo. Raise the issue of secession — *THEIR* secession. They want Jesusland, let ‘em have it! We don’t need to have a bloody civil war about this. How about a semi-amiable divorce, the kind where you pay your partner off and gently shove them out the door, with a tender “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass” and “Never contact me again, ‘K?” Sell this separation to them with Biblical rhetoric about what a “jewel” their new country can be, what a perfect *beacon* of Christitude, and the old “city on a hill” line. Tell them how great the contrast will be between their Christ-centered country and all us pagans over here in America.
And then, use that time-honored Conservatarian meme about the Goodness of a System: see which way the traffic wants to flow over the border. I know for *sure* which way it will flow every Saturday night!
I’m semi-serious. Let ‘em take the South, or a large chunk of the Midwest. Let ‘em have it. They’ll be bankrupt in no time.
Trace: Wow! I think I’ve talked to *you* on YouTube comments!
iolanthe: They can have the South, with its lousy weather and crumbling infrastructure - I enjoy Minnesota far to much to surrender it to those douches!
WadISay: Austria’s still full of unreconstructed Nazis, not to mention crappy music, fatty food and ugly people. The GOP refugees will fit right in.
iolanthe: You probably have. I’m so troll that when I troll around, I REALLY troll around.