Wonkette
- According to a little hibernating varmint in Gobbler’s Knob, we will have six more weeks of winter. [AP]
- Republicans felt betrayed that the new SCHIP bill included provisions for covering the children of certain legal immigrants so they voted against it. This lack of bipartisanship does not bode well for healthcare reform. [Washington Post]
- Rod Blagojevich will appear on David Letterman’s show on Tuesday night. Oh boy! [Christian Science Monitor]
- Tom Daschle is “deeply embarrassed” that for three frigging years he was squired around town by some rich patron’s chauffeur and it never occurred to him that this might have tax implications. [CNN]
- Champion swimmer Michael Phelps committed the unholy moral trespass of smoking pot in the off-season, so he had to issue an apology to the International Olympic Committee. So far no stories of dropped endorsements. [ESPN]
- Commerce secretary candidate Judd Gregg assured his fellow Republicans that, were he to get the post, another Republican would replace him. [Los Angeles Times]
I wonder how you smoke pot through gills. Gotta be a marketing opportunity there somewhere.
Michael Phelps should be able to score a Doritos endorsement now.
You see what electing Obama has done? You have become a nation of dope fiends. May God help you all.
I’m really glad there is a GOOD REASON I have to strip at the airport and pay $6 for a bottle of water after the security check.
Here’s the original Phelps article, complete with picture… http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/150832/14-times-Olympic-gold-medal-winner-Michael-Phelps-caught-with-bong-cannabis-pipe.html
“Cannabis Pipe” pffft!
There’s a lesson in this for all you kiddies: Michael Phelps would likely be a holder of fifteen Olympic golds today if he weren’t a worthless junkie pothead. Instead the washed up loser has to sulk in the corner weeping into a dime bag staring a his mere fourteen golds. What a sad waste of a promising career.
Gobbler’s Knob…it’s like a joke that doesn’t require any work.
Can anyone explain to me how Judd Gregg can make that promise?
Somebody send the story about possibly too many children covered by SCHIP to Redstate under the heading The Horror I Witnessed.
I prefer Mikey Phelp’s choice of, er, stimulants.
Steroids aside, Roger Clemens prefers someone to dip his mangoo sack in (legal) Tabasco Sauce to fire him up on game day to throw steroid enhanced 95mph fastballs at Mike Piazza’s head. Sure Tabasco Sauce is legal, but hot sauce on the nutsack is just fucking wrong.
MathewBrooks:
Promise her anything, but give her Arpege.
MathewBrooks: Our NH govnur is the type of ass-kissing, spineless, centrist democrat that would pull a Lieberman like this. After I voted for him I scrubbed down with gasoline and 60 grit sandpaper - while smoking a bong - a childish act that I regret.
Is there any way that Michael Phelps *can’t* smoke the competition?
NotNotLickingToads: As a Pennsylvania native, I can tell you that this is the same state that has towns called Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, Blue Ball and Virginville. Siriously. So we don’t really notice these things out there.
I’ve been to Gobbler’s Knob for the Groundhog Day festivities. There’s plenty of wooded areas out there for the kinds of activity that the name suggests, but I suppose that during the off season (that being every day of the year except for February 2) there could be all sorts of larrycraiging in and around Punxsutawney.
“Top ten reasons for getting impeached unanimously…”
Dildo and Come-By-Chance Newfoundland (both real!) say Gobbler’s Knob has nothing on them.
@matthewbrooks: because he’s a republican, so pressuring the governor to pick who he wants won’t be called unethical, and the democrats don’t have the balls to use a perfectly legitimate opportunity to appoint a democrat
Jeez, at least Texas makes a profit off having ridiculous names for towns.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DISH,_Texas
The porn industry should pay for city names when they’re not hijacking Super Bowl airwaves to show men’s “things.”
Look, we all know Daschle isn’t well off, despite his and his trophy wife’s decades of corporate whoring… if he was, couldn’t he afford frames for his glasses that don’t come from a novelty shoppe?
P.S. Michael Phelps is a complete wuss for apologizing, and whatever respect I didn’t have for him before because I didn’t really care about some amphibious mutant and his gold medals has now evaporated.
Wakakirin, a 25-year-old sumo wrestler, also just got arrested for marijuana possession. Now, to be a sumo wrestler, it makes sense to smoke something that gives you raging munchies.
I think we all should regret smoking pot now.
thongthongthong: Duh! It was a “water pipe”
Giant Robot: I fail to see how there can be an arrangement regarding the replacement Senator without drifting into Blago territory. Taking a job only on some condition is a [i]quid pro quo[/i] whether you call it a deal, and understanding, or an arrangement.
And finally, regarding S-CHIP - aren’t the certain kids that will be eligible the ones that were born in the US and who are therefor United States Citizens?
I think we can safely read the Phelps apology as “I promise to only smoke pot in the privacy of my own home, not at a party where backstabbing, useless whores take pictures of me and sell them to News of the World.”
If there’s any justice in the world (there isn’t, I checked) the nob gobbler who finked on Phelps will soon find himself arrested for pot, sentenced to a fed mandatory life term and ass-raped morning, noon and night.
Well, fuck Judd Gregg, then. Dude, the only reason you’re under consideration is so that we can have a Democratic controlled Senate. Or maybe not, Barry Half-White is being so damned bi-partisan, I’m starting to suspect he really means it, and that would be a humongous mistake.
The way I see it, Michael Phelps proves that pot doesn’t hurt you physically, Paul McCartney is proof that it doesn’t affect you creatively and Willie Nelson…well, no, maybe Willie is a bad example.
Really, I think Obama could cut Daschle loose. And Geithner.
Serolf Divad: Whatta slacker.
Phelps can hold his breath an incredibly long time, also.
4tehlulz: Really. 4500 calories a day that dude eats. I knew something wasn’t quite right about that.
gurukalehuru: Also: Whatever. Even if the Ds get 60 seats, one of ‘em’ll go off the reservation and not break a filibuster, and then Susan Collins or whomever will then join with the Ds, but then there won’t be a full turnout because some Ds are ripping BHs with M.Phelps, etc. This 60 number is an illusion, much like the Hopey Halo.
Daschle will be kicked to the curb by Friday. Word is bond.
Re: Phelps…
I honestly don’t care. The kid’s won 14 gold medals, and he’s 23. He could ass-fuck the Pope on the steps of the US Capitol and I’d say he’s earned it.
I don’t think the SCHIP vote shows bipartisanship is going to be a problem. More like Republicans are asshats
god, i hope the blagojevich interview is incredibly awkward … that’s when letterman’s at his best. anyone who’s seen the paris hilton interview right after she got out of jail knows what i’m talking about:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koH0sDec2-k
hilton: (after dave had talked about nothing but prison for about four minutes) “but i’ve moved on with my life, and i don’t really want to talk about it any more …”
dave: “you see, this is where you and i are different.”
rocktonsammy: I totally regret smoking pot now. I totally also regret smoking it two minutes from now, and totally regret the key I’m going to polish off this weekend.
InsidiousTuna: “He could ass-fuck the Pope on the steps of the US Capitol and I’d say he’s earned it.”
And the pope will have earned it, too. Also.
DangerousLiberal: I think it was more like 10,0000 - something truly obscene.