Oh good gravy they are having the Fourth Ballot! It takes so long. “It’s time to vote,” the douche keeps saying — watch him say it, here on CSPAN! Something about changed proxy votes, maybe these people could get it together, and OH SHIT MIKE DUNCAN IS WITHDRAWING! So this should go to Steele, who will take his “Victory in Maryland” nationwide!
Here’s our original multi-UPDATES post. You must read it, for background. And now we’ll turn this one into a LIVE BLOG, let the liveblogging begin!
2:18 PM — Boos, hisses!
2:18 PM — Bennett demanding a 15-minute recess for deal making. More boos!
2:19 PM — Everybody says NO!
2:19 PM — No recess.
2:21 PM — Balloting proceeds, Michael Steele is running around giving little handjobs to the Republicans “on the fence.” They might not like black people, but they like getting jerked off by dudes!
2:23 PM — Jesus fucking christ, four of these old klansmen are ready to vote, except for not having a ballot.
2:23 PM — State roll call!
2:24 PM — Chris Cillizza is just cold goin’ nuts, on his Twitter.
2:25 PM — Guam … Hawaii … these are not even parts of the “pro-America America,” just skip ’em.
2:32 PM — Ugh, this is taking so long that your editor just spent five minutes arguing real-estate recovery windows with his comrades from the old Budapest Business Journal.
2:33 PM — Duncan is such a dull turd. If the last miserable two years for the GOP, under his leadership, was “truly the highlight of [his] life,” then we really don’t want to know anything else about his tragic shit-box of a life.
2:34 PM — Truly, these are the worst looking people in America. Even the “youngish” ones look old, they are pale and wrinkled, bad hair and schlubby suits, the few women have awful pinched little mouths, like anteaters, or beakless chickens.
2:38 PM — Who is the white-haired douche in the red baseball cap? He needs a good kick in the cunt.
2:29 PM — If you locked the doors of this place, from the outside, and set the building on fire, America would be free of some of its very worst specimens.
2:41 PM — FOURTH BALLOT: Dawson 62, Steele 60, hahahah, Southern Segregationists for the Win! Not really, another ballot coming at 3 p.m., good christ. Blackwell down to 15 votes, Saul Anuzis got what, 30? No, 31. “The Fix” says on its “Twitter” this means Anuzis holds the key, which is technically true, with the numbers. Please oh please let Katon “whites-only country club” Dawson win the RNC chair!
2:45 PM — We’ll be back later?
3:00 PM — Ballot box is empty. There are 21 proxy votes, still, and they are not changing their votes.
3:00 PM — FIFTH BALLOT, lamers.
3:00 PM — Who will drop out now? Blackwell?
3:01 PM — Yes!
3:02 PM — No? Ken Blackwell is crying in the ladies’ bathroom, apparently. Nobody can find him. Oh, now he’s on the way. Had to poop.
3:03 PM — In the usual “play the blacks against each other” GOP move, Blackwell will now drop out and probably back the South Carolina segregationist.
3:04 PM — “We are about to embark on a journey together … we’re back on path to become the majority party.” Yeah sure you are.
3:05 PM — “You either change the composition of the electorate, or you change the attitude of the electorate.”
3:05 PM — Blackwell, you forgot to take the toilet paper out of your mouth, dude. Can’t understand you.
3:05 PM — “New birth of freedom, I’m going to ask you bear with me for two minutes.” Oh just quit and get off the stage, lamer.
3:06 PM — “My fullest support behind the candidate I think will do three things,” etc. “Fullest”?
3:07 PM — Blackwell supports …. STEELE!!!!
3:08 PM — And finally, a Fifth Ballot.
3:09 PM — More loving handjobs as Steele tries to defeat the brave whites-only segregationist, South Carolina klansman Katon Dawson.
3:13 PM — This woman really puts some sexy joy into the reading of these state names.
3:13 PM — Hurry up you goddamned lamers, your editor needs to go to the Post Office. Your editor is looking forward to standing in line at the Post Office, because it will be more fun than watching these twatwaffles waste an entire day choosing their new king of the losers club.
3:18 PM — Ugh, another proxy committee vote. GO DAWSON!
3:20 PM — But you should know that Dawson quit being an official racist! It’s true! Once his membership at the “No Darkies” golf resort was made public, he gave up his membership! (Or so he claims, who knows.)
3:27 PM — Ah it’s not over yet. Steele leads with 79, Segregationist with 69, Saul with 20.
3:30 PM — Saul Anuzis at the podium.
3:31 PM — What an honor, that the son of an immigrant could lose this badly.
3:31 PM — NO ENDORSEMENT! THE BASTARD.
3:44 PM — And Ballot No. 6 finally goes out to these limp goons.
3:47 PM — Even with a half-dozen of these ballots today, there are still several old fat-bags who can’t remember to take a ballot.
3:48 PM — Finally, again, the state names. There is no way this can end in a tie, is there? Ha, of course there is! 84-84.
3:53 PM — The southerners sure look grim as they drop off this sixth ballot, against the Maryland slave.
4:04 PM — MICHAEL STEELE FOR THE WIN, 91 VOTES.
4:05 PM — He finally won something, although nearly half of RNC toads bravely voted for a white racist from South Carolina.
4:08 PM — Steele vows to grow the party by going to, uh, “every boardroom.” Hooray!
4:09 PM — He also claims he will slaughter those who obstruct him, or something. This gets some cheers, and angry silence from those Obstructors soon to be slaughtered.
4:10 PM — Okay, former assistant governor sleepytime, good-bye, good luck, god knows you need it.