Wonkette
The cool young urban hipster Barack Obama refuses to hire anyone over the age of 40 except Rahm Emanuel. His chief speechwriter, his cook, and now his what do you call it, head of the White House Office of Faith Based and Neighborhood Partnerships, are all under 30. This newest very young person is just 26 years old, his name is Joshua DuBois, and he made headlines as a BU freshman standing up for 41 hours in front of a Martin Luther King memorial to honor Amadou Diallo.
DuBois used to work as an associate pastor in a Pentecostal church, and he ran Obama’s religious outreach program during the campaign. Ugh there is really nothing funny to say about this guy. On his 30th birthday he will sent out into a field to be eaten by the Corn God, because he will be too old to be of any use to Barack Obama.
26-Year-Old to Head Obama’s Faith Office [The Note]
Now, if they sent him out to a field to be eaten by the Cornholio God, that, I’d pay to see…
Hang on…he stood outside in DC for 41 straight hours, and no cops frisked him, or arrested him for loitering, or shot him for holding a wallet in his hands?
What does is say about me if spend my Fridays waiting for Newell’s next Peggy Noonington extravaganza?
important question: how does he pronounce his last name? The froggie way “do-bwa” or the ted haggard way “do-boyz”?
Yup. He’s insane. Perfect choice.
Obama’s America = Logan’s Run
You know the fundies are going to freak when DuBois insists on changing some of the song lyrics:
Obama is just all right with me
Obama is just all right, oh yeah
Obama is just all right with me
Obama is just all right
I dont care what they may say
I dont care who they screw
I dont care what they may think
Obama is just all right, oh yeah
Obama is just all right
Norbert: Obama’s Administration = Menudo
I hope he doesn’t forget about Saddleback!
Sanctuary!!!!!
Norbert:
I, for one, don’t have any issues with having casual sex with a young Jenny Agutter.
Renew! Renew! Renew!
Don’t know why, (I’m a rabid cynic), but all this Faith Based shit is all just a little too….Ernest.
… and a child shall lead them….
He ran Obama’s religious outreach program during the campaign? How cum we never noticed him ’til now? Cuz he would make Obama look old?
Penecostals speak in tongues. I wonder in how many languages he can say, “Goddamn America!”
is he one of his evil socialist community organizer pals?
Can’t Obama appoint Blago or Spitzer to something. Now that would be funny. Church child is about as funny as Mr. Rogers.
freakishlystrong: I’m with you. Frankly, the reason I think Barry didn’t know what a nut Wright was because he probably didn’t go to church that often. It’s just that you HAVE to have a church or the appearance of religion to be in politics.
…Kanye West?!
thongthongthong: Are you related to shortshortshorts: ?
By next Friday, my 11 year old niece will be Secretary of Transportation, Ray LaHood having been “renewed” in the fiery ritual of Carousel.
I’ve seen her play Mario Kart. She’s a natural.
Pentecostal!? Next round of cocktails at the White House, folks better look out for the strychnine. He may want to check who’s a believer and who isn’t.
AngryBlakGuy: He looks more like Dudley’s father on Diff’rent Strokes to me.
I need to constantly be reminded what the hell “faith-based” means
magic titty: Dunno. Are you related to Tits LaRue?
jetjaguar: It means yer going to hell, jaguar.
thongthongthong: HELLO BRETHREN.
actor212: only by virtue of his last name.
thongthongthong: Nope.
Norbert: There is NOOOOOO Sanctuary.
thongthongthong: WHO ARE YOU?
Texan Bulldoggette: Oh yeah..I forgot about that seperation of church and state myth..
shortsshortsshorts:
Tony el Tigre?
Norbert: MAN I was trying to think of the name of that movie! All I could come up with was Marathon Man, and Omega Man, and obviously it was neither of those, so I had to settle on Children of the Corn.
You are my hero.
shortsshortsshorts: 3 pairs of thongs with Wonkettini trucknutz. Hihihi!
ManchuCandidate: Couldn’t be Tony. Tony would never acknowledge trucknutz…
I think this is some kind of new species of clothing. An evolution of me, which makes me an obsolete member of the evolutionary process.
There should be an outreach to America’s Satanists and their high priest, Eric Cantor. Let the bipartisanship start now!
actor212: Actually… more impressive is that he did this at the MLK memorial on BU campus. In Boston. AKA Whitey’s town. (insert requisite Departed reference here)
thongthongthong: shortsshortsshorts: I’m too hungover for this…
But what of the face-based initiatives so trumpeted by the previous administration? Facebook has the whole world in its hands. MOO HA HA!
actor212: I thought it was the NYC cops who shot black guys with wallets.
magic titty: …with a tiny drop of Kwame Kilpatrick.
Look, human sacrifice, infanticide, or whatever it takes. Let’s just appease the Corn God. Oh, and Taloc. After all, Jesus isn’t going to strike you down with a lightning bolt.
Kev-O-Tron: …have you learned nothing from me?! “Hangovers” are for people stupid enough to stop drinking! *Pulling flask out of desk drawer*
By the time his first term ends, Obama’s staffers’ crystals will be all blinking red.
AngryBlakGuy: My favorite thing about this blog is that we are all unapologetic drunks. It’s less of a “hangover” and more of a “oh my god I’ve been drinking for ten straight years and I really would like to go back to bed” feeling.
donner_froh: …yeah, D.C. cops will only steal your stash!
-California Cops = Shoot you while you are face down and handcuffed
-Miami Cops = Always gives 3 warning shots…to the back of the head.
-Texas Cops = Shoot you for driving your OWN CAR!
Can’t we just all get athong? Sorry about the coincidence with shortsshortsshorts:
There are other precedents for my incarnation, namely trucknutz and this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOn5Mum8xeY
So, Kev-O-Tron: go back to drinking.
I am taking the “my recruiter is a fuckwit” morning drink.
shortsshortsshorts: probably sistern, no? Unless it is a thong-wearing male.
Kev-O-Tron: …ironically, I have had that feeling for 11 years and Im only 27! The only time I apologize for being a drunk is when my girlfriend is bonding me out(I kid)! You know you are an alcoholic when you wake-up with a nasty hangover and the first thing your reach for is the warm beer on your nightstand.
thongthongthong: Everything makes sense now. Thank you. WELCOME.
AngryBlakGuy: Prince George’s County, MD cops shoot you to prevent you from killing yourself. No joke. Has happened more than once (though one could say that it then is suicide by cop)
bago: …you must be on the west-coast, because I just finished my 3 martini lunch!
Norbert: Hahahaha!!! super win.
shortsshortsshorts: You’re welcome! Let’s all keep our panties on now. You too, Joshua DuBois.
I’m so happy Obama is leveraging Darius Rucker. But I had no idea he was a jesus-freak.
Doglessliberal: …I would love to hear that defense deposition!
Kev-O: Ummm, some of us are not raging alcoholics, rather, we are insufferable poth-eads thankyouverymuch.
Also, i’m still not sold on the thongs.
HipHopOpotamus: It was BOSTON?
And he made it all the way thru?
Wicked cool!
donner_froh: Yes, but 9/11 changed everything. Now everybody shoots black men with wallets. That’s why Obama stopped carrying cash!
Just as long as we don’t have any more faith-based presidencies.