Wonkette
Bill Clinton is, without question, going to ruin the world at some point during his wife’s tenure as Secretary of State. Although some may call this “Clinton Derangement Syndrome,” or whatever the cool term is these days for completely distrusting two people in everything they do, let’s check out Bill Clinton’s first big action after promising to keep a lower profile: getting drunk with Putin at the Davos World Economic Forum, and then holding a long chat with him in a private room guarded by Secret Service agents!
Really, is this not the single sketchiest thing you could imagine Clinton doing a mere week after his wife became the head of America’s international relationships department? Sure, he’s a major figure and could be useful diplomatically — perhaps he had a message to deliver! WHO KNOWS — but at least make him register as an official State Dept. envoy or something, rather than this private, drunk insanity:
Upon arriving here on Wednesday afternoon, he conducted a series of quiet meetings with foreign leaders that culminated in an intense late-night discussion with Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. The two former presidents met at a Sheraton hotel where Putin held a private party, following an early evening reception at a local museum hosted by Clinton.
Putin greeted Clinton cordially as “our good friend” as they raised glasses of vodka and then listened to a pianist pound out “In the Hall of the Mountain King.” When the musical entertainment concluded, they moved to a table in a separate room with access strictly controlled by Secret Service and Russian security agents. Flanked by aides and an interpreter, the two men talked for nearly 90 minutes before they rose and walked out together for a few pictures with partygoers and members of Clinton’s entourage.
Clinton will soon announce that Putin is our greatest ally and we should give him weapons, for Freedom, and then he will run to the nearest bank to deposit an anonymous $1,000,000,000 donation to his “Foundation” fund.
Bill and Vladimir [New York Observer]
“So Pooty, how’s that Russhin Gymnast thing working out? I’m bored with Chubby chasing and want to try banging a woman who can lick her own belly button.”
Wow, just imagine the total number of whore diamonds held by the people in that room, not the least by Bill himself, altho’ ya know Pootie likes to fly first class.
Sooooo. Clinton’s looking for gymnast tail now? Comparing notes, and all that now?
1. Russia makes you President, then Prime Minister, then President again.
2. U.S. makes you President, Secretary of State (SHADOW GOVERNMENT husband), then President again.
3. Profit!
They were just talking shit about GWB. Usually takes about 90 minutes.
And they both totally banged Gennifer Flowers.
Putin greeted Clinton cordially as “our good friend” as they raised glasses of vodka and then listened to a pianist pound out “In the Hall of the Mountain King.”
wat
but why is there a picture of dick van dyke?
“In The Hall Of The Mountain King”?
Good God. Couldn’t they just blare out “The Battle Cry of the Republic” like an other reasonably nefarious world leader?
wouldn’t call it “Clinton Derangement Syndrome.” Just fucking paranoid.
magic titty: your username makes me horny. What is it about the titty that is magical. Why is it singular rather than plural? Does the other titty get jealous?
ManchuCandidate: “Hey, Pooty, send me one of the young ones named Sasha. Make sure she uses the back door… dag nabbed media.”
But did Bill look deep into Pooty-Poot’s eyes and see his soul?
BTW, they just convicted Blago. I think he’s reading The Ballad of Reading Gaol to the press.
Is this like Yalta, where they’re dividing up the world? According to the agreement they signed, Clinton’s got dibs on all the trailer parks, and Putin lays claim to any place characterized as an “evil lair w/death ray.”
I hope Bill tried the tea. I hear it is to die for.
Better him striding the world stage than our recently previous president. Although Dubya wouldn’t drink alcohol, he would claim to see something in Putin’s eyes and end up dancing like a monkey on acid. Bad acid, at that.
Bill looks like he’s getting ready to do that Walnuts tongue monster thing. Any video?
Kev-O-Tron: Do you think CNN will highlight that comment too?
This is just Clinton casting for Season 2 of Bromance.
I’m sure they were just playing ship captain crew or something. Maybe traded a few of their favorite George W. Bush jokes with one another. Laughed about how Putins English is better than G-Dubs. I mean they’re both socialists.
Kev-O-Tron: suchsweetthunder: Yeah, I thought Kev was gay? Maybe some people on this site are not who they claim to be? I’m confused!
suchsweetthunder: Dude its CNN of course they will.
Ya just know where ever Bubba is so are the best parties!!
“Long chat in a private room,” eh? I believe that’s a polite news euphemism for “Russian hooker.” (Yes, that’s right - singular.)
Red Zeppelin: How many times do I need to explain this…
I’M BI-FUCKING-SEXUAL! That means I get to fuck everybody (and I do try.) For clarification I do not date men. That’s immoral and wrong. Men are not for dating. Strictly for fucking.
Kev-O-Tron: This makes me like you like 75% more than I already do.
Kev-O-Tron: Dude, that does increase your odds of getting lucky!
Red Zeppelin: What’s funny is that I’m much more vocal about this online. I don’t hook up with guys often and I’m identified as straight by most people because I don’t act all “gay”. Most of my friends know but some don’t. Straight guys get really weird when you tell them you like both sexes. I can literally see this change in the way they regard me.
If you ask me most guys are bisexual but just painfully scared to admit it. It’s too bad because guys give great head.
I guess being bi is like being a mix-raced person. For instance, my friend is Black-Filipino but nobody ever, ever, EVER considers that he’s anything other than black. In High School my nickname was “fag” but nobody actually thought I was gay.
Source?
Kev-O-Tron: Questions like those are why the name works so well.
Kev-O-Tron: This particular response is definitely going on CNN.
Just a piece of advice to everyone out there: NEVER, under any circumstances, challenge a former or current KGB agent to a drinking contest. You will lose. And you may lose your liver and/or kidney also.
Kev-O-Tron Red Zeppelin: And your odds of getting the clap!
Kev-O-Tron: I think there’s a documentary about you on HBO tonight.
The only mental images I can summon up for what that encounter must have been like come from the Stonecutters episode of the Simpsons.
assistant/atlas: Is he banging in a red state?
“…holding a long chat with him in a private room guarded by Secret Service agents!”
Did he learn NOTHING in the 90’s?
When I first read “Hall of the Mountain King” I was thinking it was some old Led Zep or Emerson Lake & Palmer tune I forgot about because I was so stoned back in those days.
Why is there no alt text? I wanna have those alt texts. I gotta have some alt texts! That’s the only reason I bookmarked this blog in the first place.
Did you make his eyes look like that by abusing iPhoto’s red-eye erase function?
Kev-O-Tron: yet oddly, when a WOMAN admits to being bi, all men wanna do her even more…
Did he say “Yo Putin!”, the phrase that launched excellent ties under the Bush administration>
This post is so fucking wrong. Bill Clinton DOES NOT rub up against cruel totalitarians like Putin just for measly donations to his fucking Foundation. That’s dumb!
He does it ’cause Ron Burkle tells him to.
Kev-O-Tron: Men are not for dating. Strictly for fucking.
Hear, Hear girlfriend!
And to think, all the Illuminati had to do was waggle a big pizza under his nose and he was theirs.
Kev-O-Tron: Wow. And I thought that I got off topic. Yet I salute your indiscriminate sexuality in this new era of ‘Yes We Can.’ But I warn you: nobody trusts a bi…
Kev-O-Tron: my mother says bisexuals are just lazy who don’t want to put a lot of effort into the whole chase phase of the relationship so they play for both teams. Incidentally this makes me want to audition for the other team.
Poor Monica. Poor, poor Monica. Poor poor Putin’s hoe now poor poor…. poor Monica poor. Poor Clinton misses you poor Monica. Poor poor poor Monica.
Clinton will have a limited book whoring circuit now. And his charity devoted to Executive Buttsecks will be put on hold for a while. This recession is hurting. Putin is taking our womanzz wid his rich oil momies!!1! Fight back!1!!!!!
if we didn’t have bill where would we find our snark, hmmm? this administration is – so far – painfully lacking in obvious abuses of power, crass insults and/or debasing scandals. Should we rely solely on rahm (who has anyway been wildly circumspect)?
we need to keep up with republicans. We need to hone these skills. We need bill. For America.
ladymacbeth: Add to that all of Hopey’s ‘open’ honesty and hopegasm.govs…It’s just sad. I want Sarah Palin drinking Absynthe with Kim Jon Il sometime in the next couple months, or I don’t know what, y’all. I don’t know what.
Bill was just trying to figure out how to slice himself off some of them there Putin petrorubles. Then he gave him his favorite possum recipe, and then he blew the guy. That’s all!
gliberal: Thousands, maybe millions, were saved.
Grieg? Really?
shortsshortsshorts: This recession is hurting. Putin is taking our womanzz wid his rich oil momies!!1! Fight back!1!!!!!
Whatever. We’re still ahead in the count thanks to the mail order bride industry.
Awesome! Bill and Vlad both like Savatage? Hall of the Mountain King was so… 1987 post-Arena Rock.
Why does Bill Clinton wear a wedding ring?
Scandalabra: Me too!! I guess I got it mixed up with Misty Mountain Hop.
This is so cool! Bubba can now play the part of the Administration’s ‘Embarrassing Relative.’ He gets to be Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, Jenna and Barbara Bush, Neil Bush, Jeb Bush’s pillhead daughter…
In other news, Russian President Vladimir Putin wrote a glowing review of Pink Floyd’s 1970 opus “Atom Heart Mother” for Pravda, as well as an essay on “the sublime awesomeness of the Rally’s american hamburgers”.
elcapitan: You are a true American. May Allah shadow your death with 72 EXCLUSIVE, NEVER BE4 SEEN virgins.
2druk2phluq: Eww… Hopey better make sure the Secret Service keep Ol’ Bubba away from his daughters.
But let me just say, to clear the air, that Bill Clinton is not a pedophile, AS FAR AS I KNOW *snark*
The Billy Bob photo is eerily like the McCain’t snappy that Wonkette liked to run.
Strange that the music would be a 2 and a half minute orchestral piece played on a piano. The piece was written for Ibsen’s “Peer Gynt,” which asks the right question — are Poot and Billy Bob men or trolls?
Kev-O-Tron: Everybody with a same-sex attraction believes EVERYBODY has a same-sex attraction. Not that there’s anything WRONG with that belief.
Scandalabra: That would be “In the Court of the Crimson King” by King Crimson (which included Greg Lake for a brief period). Now, heeeyah!, I’m off to California Jam!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSe_A3VQXso
Putin’s just cornered Clinton because he doesn’t understand why he can’t run for a third term. “What do you mean you need the consent of your people to change your Constitution? How… inefficient. Look, here’s what you do…”
And all this time I thought I’d be welcoming our new Chinese overlords after Depression 2.0.
How long before Bill has another “heart attack”? He will of course be alone somewhere with Hillz, and she just won’t be able to get him medical help in time.
Vanity Smurf: Putin had his soul-shades drawn down.