So a bunch of fancy world leaders gathered at Davos to discuss the “world economy,” such as it is, and generally be lame together this year. The “headliners” were such sexy globe-trotting humanitarian starlets as Vladimir Putin and Wen Jiabao. Putin said something mean to Michael Dell, because that is something Putin loves doing: publicly humiliating dopey Americans.
Putin apparently gave a speech about all sorts of stuff on the first day of the conference — currency, energy, blah blah blah. Then at the end he was all, “Any questions?” and Michael Dell, the founder of a company that makes fairly crappy PCs for not very much money, said basically, “How can we sell more cheap electronics into your impoverished nation of drunken computer illiterates?”
Putin’s withering reply to Dell: “We don’t need help. We are not invalids. We don’t have limited mental capacity.” The slapdown took many of the people in the audience by surprise. Putin then went on to outline some of the steps the Russian government has taken to wire up the country, including remote villages in Siberia. And, in a final dig at Dell, he talked about how Russian scientists were rightly respected not for their hardware, but for their software.
Ha ha Michael Dell, what a tool. His family has been “disappeared” and he has been sent to a gulag where he will enjoy the next 10-15 years sorting rocks.
Putin-Dell slapdown at Davos [Fortune]
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Sure Putin can afford to be spunky, after he succeeded in getting Steve Jobs to drink that “health shake.”
“We don’t need help. We are not invalids. We don’t have limited mental capacity.”
Ha ha, Putin, the reality of your failed commie nation sez otherwise.
But did Putin take off a shoe and start banging the table with it?
I couldn’t agree more with Vova–Russia’s superior software is evident in the masses of Cyrillic-script spam that enter my inbox every day…
Putie Poot has a point as anyone who has had to deal with Dell Customer Service knows.
“Russia has been allergic to offers of aid from the West ever since hundreds of overpaid consultants arrived in Moscow after the collapse of Communism, in 1991, and proceeded to hand out an array of advice that proved, at times, useless or dangerous.”
Unfortunately, after the Russian market stopped providing opportunities to these consultants, they got jobs in the Bush administration and inflicted their useless or dangerous services on us.
Sounds like Pooty-Poot was just getting a little defensive. Mike was just asking how he can sell you guys some more cheap, crappy PC’s. No need to get snippy, guy.
“We don’t need help. We are not invalids. We don’t have limited mental capacity.”
Wait, so is her Russian or not?
In Russian, “software” = “enormous penises”.
I read this as “Putin makes rude remark at Davros.” I’m a nerd, btw.
Putin’s clearly never looked at the code behind X-Cart. I’ll never buy russian software again.
Russians are to software what the chinese are to motorscooters.
Vlad better get on the ball. His days of regularly trouncing the American President in the charisma and charm catagories are over.
Now’s the time to invest in a geiger counter, Mr. Dell.
[re=231602]vintageways[/re]: How do you know Michael Dell isn’t hard at work perfecting his army of armored sentient squid as we speak?
As someone who has previously had to use a Dell computer I support this disappearance. You know what you did Michael Dell! You know what you did.
By Russian scientists, he means hackers, and by software, he means viruses that will steal all of your video game high scores and give them to “RUSKYRULES,” who will be the champion of all video games everywhere.
Putin was just making a comment about Dell technical support. Those guys ARE idiots. Trying to get a warranty replacement part from Dell is not unlike what I imagine the bureaucratic wrangle and wait was to get a car or apartment in Soviet-era Russia.
“withering” and “Dell computers” seems a bit redundant to me.
And by the by… I may be a bit behind the times on this but what Software are Russian programmers known for other than Tetris and the bank password keyloggers that porn sites try to surreptitiously install on your computer?
Today we are all Russians.
I like Putin more and more.
[re=231609]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I don’t think Dell has the technology, frankly.
[re=231602]vintageways[/re]: Right there with ya. I thought this was a clue that Putin is the next companion.
[re=231620]DrThunderer[/re]: But will he dress like a chav?
In other words, we are more than capable of contracting Indian call centers to support own crap product.
Note to Michael Dell: check the HQ cafeteria for castor beans.
er. “our own” — I type like a Soviet machinist today.
Russian scientists were rightly respected not for their hardware, but for their software.
Paging Deep Blue.
[re=231623]SwanSwanH[/re]: Their call centers are probably farmed out to Kazakhstan or Abkhazia or the like–somewhere Putin can quickly invade in case he is put on hold for 45 minutes…
Poutine has such a case of small man overcompensating syndrome on both a personal level (cf: tiger wrestling), and as a matter of national(ist) policy. Dell should have mentioned something like “Russian men have small penises” just to goad him into WWIII.
Steampunk vs. Cyperputz
As I scrolled down reading the comments, what do I see on the ad sidebar but some chick in a ‘Find Your Russian Beauty Today!’ Russian ‘bride’ service. All I gotta say is, if that’s limited mental capacity I want some of it. Sold!
And, I’m *positive* the service is legit since it advertises on Wonkette.
I thought the main exports out of Russia were mail order brides and Polonium.
[re=231634]TGY[/re]: she can be yours for a dell computer.
Russian scientists were rightly respected not for their hardware, but for their software.
Well, it’s true that Russian hardware is almost universally crap, but I’m surprised Putin would brag about that.
[re=231635]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: If the ad to find your “Russian Beauty” in the sidebar is for real, you’re right. WTF? “Find Your Russian Beauty Today” What’s next..ads for sexy Russian amputees?
[re=231639] The Real JR Revisted [/re]: What? No wodka?
Een Soviet Russia, computer poor vodka on YOU!
Putin’s ass must be burning every time he uses email or the web.
Also.
Putin ought to read some reports on the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome and think hard about what that is doing to a nation consuming 15 liters of pure alcohol per person per year.
“…ever since hundreds of overpaid consultants arrived in Moscow [...] in 1991, and proceeded to hand out an array of advice that proved, at times, useless or dangerous…”
Those Mary Kay bitches, however, were fully aware that there is no Consumer Products Safety Commission in Russia.
One system favors a small group who gets most of the wealth and power which they squander under the name of free enterprise; the other system is run by a small group who controls most of the wealth and power which they squander claiming that theirs is a controlled economy. Thurber was right – “if you bend over backwards far enough you wind up flat on your face.” Apparently the hokey pokey is the same no matter upon whose soil it is performed. In Russia they put their left foot front and the right foot back, but the result is the same.
[re=231684]AxmxZ[/re]: Somebody has to stay home and sweep the floors when they send the ones with angular features to the west as mail order brides. As Marx stated “from each according to his ability, to each according to his need” or some such shit. I’ll bet Mike Dell has one a them mail order jobbies.
Very sweet…Michael Dell is a major league bully, and given the amount of money he has, a tightwad as well…
Wish i had a picture of his face after Putin’s slap-down…
Dell employees would pay $5 a pop, easy…
[re=231684]AxmxZ[/re]: Mikhail Gorbachev tried to do something about that and the result was the collapse of the Soviet Union. Maybe the global warming helps a bit by transforming the Vodka Belt into a wine-sipping Mediterranean culture.
Dell uses Microsoft, i HATE Microsoft. Therefore, Vladimir Putin must kill Dell. Also, remember when Russia’s leader was some nubby-handed oaf who always got wasted and danced like a monkey at any chance he could get? Good times.
Laptopz! Ve don’t need your stinking Laptopz!
(Sorry all, had to be done. You know it did.)
What a dick!
Good thing Sarah can see him from her house, when he rears his head, also.
I see adds for Russian brides here. Google Ads, thy name is irony.
“…something Putin loves doing: publicly humiliating dopey Americans.”
He should leave that to the experts. Isn’t that pretty much the purpose of this blog?
[re=231789]Not_So_Much[/re]: If he rears his head, it’s only because he’s heading for her rear.
Unless Russia invaded Poland, his software comment is completely off base. And even then, it’s just not true. The Witcher only got an 8.6 metascore.
The girl in the Russian Beauty ad is a biscuit and all…but I wonder what she’d look like in a babushka?
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