Oh Good God People Michelle Obama Is Not Pregnant

Do you recall, back in August, right around the time Michelle Obama gave her nice speech at the Democratic National Convention, how Rush Limbaugh was blabbing to anyone who would listen about how she was totally knocked up? She looked it, too, from certain angles! People got all excited, because whoever heard of a presidential candidate -- let alone a president -- who actually liked his wife enough to have sex with her?

So now we are in the middle of yet another manufactured news story centered on a couple of photos of Michelle Obama with wrinkling fabric around her abdomen. This proves exactly nothing, as the nature and position of the wrinkles seem not to progress in the "getting larger" direction, as would happen in a normal human pregnancy.

In case nobody noticed, Mrs. Obama is kind of a big girl. She is a million feet tall and not a wilting cadaverous career anorexic with premature onset osteoporosis. This does not mean she is pregnant. It is very sweet, but also a little gross, that our nation is so taken with the fact that we have a young, attractive couple in the White House that we cannot stop fantasizing about them having hot procreative sex together constantly. But Michelle Obama just turned 45 years old and, unlike Sarah Palin, is smart enough to avoid a high-risk pregnancy at her age.

Although that said, the one thing we learned about baby-havin' from Sarah Palin is that the least pregnant-looking ladies are generally the ones who are totally knocked up. The mystery continues!

 White House Baby???? [Perez Hilton]