This guy, Obama. He’s arranged to host a sexy beer party at the White House tonight, presumably after the House votes on his famously porky abortion-loving moneybomb, The Stimulus Package. Leaders of both chambers of Congress, and of both parties, have been invited. So the House Republicans, who will probably all vote against this bill, should probably pre-game with grain alcohol on the limo ride down Pennsylvania Avenue because it will be awwwwwkwaaaaaard.
May we just use this opportunity to mention, again, how very pleasant this all is? Last night Obama goes to the Hill to answer any and all questions the House Republicans had (they didn’t change their minds, but they sure liked him!), and today he basically says, “look friends, busy day, I know, but if you get this done later today, then I’ll get everyone drunk at my house, the White House. Fuckin’ Biden over there’s been drinking all afternoon, so it should be hilarious.”
And yes, this is to a certain extent just some superficial ploy Obama’s always been a master at, in Chicago and at the Harvard Law review when he dared befriend some of the conservatives without capitulating into a neocon oil-drilling racist. But friendship’s a good thing, damnit! The Republican party so often derives its strength by hiding from the Democratic party entirely and calling them French terrorist-lovers — or any other gay- and Muslim-sounding label — on the teevee, because to actually engage in ideas, openly, would be to lose.
Obama’s a good man, and a smart man, and it’s apparently impossible to deny these things after you’ve met him. It’s nice to have that sort of presence in Washington. Bush would never go out of his way to talk to the opposition party in person; he’d simply go on teevee and call the Democrats stupid loser faggots who’d better pass whatever unconstitutional thing he wanted on his desk at any given time, lest the blood of dead Americans be on their hands. And as soon as the Democrats caved, in shame, he’d force them to come to the Rose Garden for two minutes, just to rub it in, as he signed off on the latest law that gave him new powers with which to destroy the country.
Will Barack Obama ever let us have our disastrous city of shame back?
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