WASHINGTON, DC, 08:50 PM, TUE FEBRUARY 9 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
BLACK POWER

America Gets Its First Black Attorney General!

Slow train coming.Hooray for progress! The Senate Judiciary Committee just approved Eric Holder for the Attorney General spot, by 17-2, which means the full Senate will now happily okay his nomination and America will have its first-ever African-American head of the Justice Department. There is a certain justice to this development, MMMHMMM? Anyway let’s hope Holder is a little bit better than the first Mexican attorney general, jesus fucking christ. [Reuters]


12:24 PM on Wed January 28 2009
By Ken Layne
1450 Views

  1. WhatTheHeck says at 12:27 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Good news.
    No snark.

    Maybe justice will return to the Justice dept.

  2. Billy Dee Williams is our AG? I suddenly have a yearning for some Colt 45.

  3. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 12:28 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Anyway let’s hope Holder is a little bit better than the first Mexican attorney general

    My dog would be a substantially better AG than Alberto.

  4. DoctorCulturae says at 12:28 pm, January 28th, 2009

    AG Holder: “So let’s see, about the ratio of incarcerated people of color… Hmmmm. Oh how can we achieve ‘equality’…. Dubya? Hummm?!”

  5. NoWireHangers says at 12:29 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Our sexiest AG since Janet Reno!

  6. Darehead says at 12:33 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Can’t…. fully celebrate…… Until.
    …..he loses the ’stache .

  7. magic titty says at 12:33 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Who are the two mean ol’ crackers who voted against him?

    And will he have a playable character in the Super Obama World video game??

  8. Tommy Says Soooo says at 12:34 pm, January 28th, 2009

    A pr0n ’stache is the black man of the facial hair world.

  9. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:35 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Alberto Gonzales had his feelings hurt well enough when he was breaking every known law of man. LEAVE HIM ALONE!11!

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 12:36 pm, January 28th, 2009

    As his first act, he’s officially gonna go Mau-Mau on unconstitutional behavior. What?

  11. masterdebater says at 12:37 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I guess we find out if the culture of Washinton has really changed now? If even one of the Bush crooks is prosecuted it would be a change from the old “let’s move on” excuses democrats have always used in the past…but I’ve got my money on the wimp factor winning out here.

  12. BillyClubb says at 12:38 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Now who’s gonna play Eric Holder on ‘Saturday Night Live’? And can we make fun of him without being called racist crackers?

  13. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:40 pm, January 28th, 2009

    BillyClubb: Probably some white guy.

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 12:40 pm, January 28th, 2009

    …we can haz indictment?

  15. sarcasticusername says at 12:41 pm, January 28th, 2009

    @magic titty: coburn and john “i’m voting against everyone” cornyn.
    normally i hate the pornstache, but he’s working it so i vote to let him keep it; plus his stache twin axelrod might get a little worried if all the facial hair keeps getting scrubbed out of obama world.

  16. Colander says at 12:41 pm, January 28th, 2009

    What dance is he doing in that picture?

  17. Is that a turn table in front of Holder?

  18. Black or white, I’m just happy it’s someone who believes no one is above the law. Now, how many illegals clean house for him?

  19. randomsausage says at 12:45 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I didn’t know Marlboro Man came in black

  20. Tommy Says Soooo says at 12:46 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Kudos to the product placement guys at Geico for getting the Caveman in shot behind Holder.

  21. SayItWithWookies says at 12:46 pm, January 28th, 2009

    BillyClubb: Their black guy — you know, Fred Armisen.

  22. freakishlystrong says at 12:48 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Remember Eric, “Waterboarding is torture”.

  23. Doglessliberal says at 12:49 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I like to think that Alberto was not really an AG. He was a humanoid robot who was controlled from a bunker deep under the Naval Observatory.

  24. I just hope he doesn’t sell us out to the Empire.

  25. BillyClubb says at 12:50 pm, January 28th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Oh yeah, the same guy who played Barack Obama. That makes sense.

  26. I take it both Blago and Burris’s trailblazin’ made this possible.

  27. Not_So_Much says at 12:59 pm, January 28th, 2009

    This is a good thing. I wonder if I can demonstrate enough loyalty to get a job? Mine just went bye-bye.

  28. PsycGirl says at 1:00 pm, January 28th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I say Darrell Hammond, because if you squint, Holder looks sorta like a black Bill Clinton.

  29. NoWireHangers says at 1:01 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Darehead: Oooh, I love the ’stache. It’s sexy. ‘Staches are back, man!

  30. NoWireHangers says at 1:02 pm, January 28th, 2009

    BillyClubb: Tina Fey, obviously.

  31. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 1:04 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Advocatus_Diaboli:

    what My dog left in the backyard this morning would be a substantially better AG than Alberto.

    [/fixed]

  32. Gorillionaire says at 1:06 pm, January 28th, 2009

    His unusually tall forehead contains extra special brainpower.

  33. shanemacgowan says at 1:07 pm, January 28th, 2009

    The new AG used to tend bar on the Love Boat

  34. Chickensmack says at 1:07 pm, January 28th, 2009

    TGY: Years and years of tired old generational stories emanate from the millions who filed through Ellis Island, in their hopes and dreams of becoming ‘Muricans… unless you’re a nanny?

  35. Cape Clod says at 1:08 pm, January 28th, 2009

    So is Det. Wojohowitz still going to be his dumb but lovable partner?

  36. Doglessliberal says at 1:10 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Advocatus_Diaboli: right, because I think a dog would have better legal ethics than Alberto. Dog poop, not so much, but it is a close call.

  37. madtowngooner says at 1:13 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Now the Man is really going to be all over my white ass.

  38. Chief Grinning Eagle says at 1:13 pm, January 28th, 2009

    It’s good to finally have a real lawyer in this position. A mouthpiece like Gonzales doesn’t even belong on a tuba. He might work on Sylvester Stallone as a mouthpiece for filming Rocky XXXV - the one where Rocky gets beaten to a pulp by Joan Rivers.

  39. Gayer Than Thou says at 1:17 pm, January 28th, 2009

    magic titty: Why do you assume that the two Senators who voted against had to be white? I mean, racist much? Given how diverse the U.S. population is, members of the Senate could be from any ethnic or racial … oh, wait.

    Never mind.

  40. Colander: He is doing the Cabbage Patch. Made popular in the 1980’s, and works well with the stach. WootWoot!!

  41. tiny mexican says at 1:18 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Man, speaking of ol’ Gonzo, you guys totally missed the sexxy kiss he shared with Bush:

    http://thinkprogress.org/2009/01/21/gonzales-kiss-bush/

    GONZALES: The last thing he said as he was getting off the plane — he kissed me on the forehead — and he said, “Just stay strong.” […]

    HERMAN: Any tears shed on the plane by anybody?

    GONZALES: By me, yeah. There were a few.

    HERMAN: Why?

    GONZALES: Just pride. Just love and appreciation for the man and what he did, Ken.

  42. obfuscator says at 1:18 pm, January 28th, 2009

    rambone:

    AG Eric Holder sez: “Don’t let the smooth taste fool you.”

  43. We had a mexican attorney general? Funny, I don’t recall that.

  44. Toomush Infermashun says at 1:21 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I kind of like this Flavor-of-the-Month AG theory - Chinese next!….this time around we can work on changing the black/white prison ratio, and then, NEXT TIME we can bring back water torture…

  45. I may be hallucinating, but he looks a little bit like Rowan Atkinson to me.

    Anyway, someone should get him a present of a book of techniques to improve the memory - so he never finds himself saying “I don’t recall”.

  46. UNZIPPEDFLY says at 1:41 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Who’s the black private dick That’s a sex machine to all the chicks?
    (Holder!) You’re damn right

    Who is the man That would risk his neck for his brother man?
    (Holder!)Can ya dig it?

    Who’s the cat that won’t cop out When there’s danger all about
    (Holder!) Right on

    You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother– (Shut your mouth)
    But I’m talkin’ about Holder (Then we can dig it)

    He’s a complicated man But no one understands him but his woman
    (Eric Holder)

  47. Mr Blifil says at 1:43 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Oh fuck they’re coming. Where the fuck am I supposed to hide my daughter? She’s taller than most of her contemporaries.

  48. Well, either way I’m pretty sure both a dog and a turd have a better memory than Alberto I don’t recall my own last name.

  49. Crankenstank says at 2:08 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Please, let’s use the Peggy-Noonan approved ethnic euphemisms in such posts: “Africkan” for Mr. Holder, and “Quetzlcoatlan-meso-american” for Gonzo.

  50. bitchincamaro says at 2:12 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Waterboard futures just tanked.

  51. undermedicated says at 2:13 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I’m not sure what to think of all this until I hear what Joe the Plumber has to say.

  52. waterboarding for republicans!

  53. actor212 says at 2:38 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Thus making it official: my alma mater now holds more power in America than ever before!

    MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

    Prepare for Tim Robbins’ movies on HBO, 24/7!

    MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

  54. The real problem with Gonzalez was he was the first Tex-Mex atty general. I’m sure the first Mexican-American from anywhere else will do much better.

  55. DangerousLiberal says at 4:10 pm, January 28th, 2009

    Advocatus_Diaboli: Works every time. Which you can’t say about Regents U grads.

  56. Joe the Truck Nutz says at 4:31 pm, January 28th, 2009

    I’ve been a big Holder fan since his days of playing Detective Ron Harris on the Tee-Vee.

  57. randomsausage says at 7:10 pm, January 28th, 2009

    From the comments we can deduce that his Holder chap looks a lot like other black men with mousers.

Leave a Reply