BLACK POWER  12:24 pm January 28, 2009

America Gets Its First Black Attorney General!

by Ken Layne

Slow train coming.Hooray for progress! The Senate Judiciary Committee just approved Eric Holder for the Attorney General spot, by 17-2, which means the full Senate will now happily okay his nomination and America will have its first-ever African-American head of the Justice Department. There is a certain justice to this development, MMMHMMM? Anyway let’s hope Holder is a little bit better than the first Mexican attorney general, jesus fucking christ. [Reuters]

 
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{ 57 comments }

WhatTheHeck January 28, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Good news.
No snark.

Maybe justice will return to the Justice dept.

rambone January 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Billy Dee Williams is our AG? I suddenly have a yearning for some Colt 45.

Advocatus_Diaboli January 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Anyway let’s hope Holder is a little bit better than the first Mexican attorney general

My dog would be a substantially better AG than Alberto.

DoctorCulturae January 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

AG Holder: “So let’s see, about the ratio of incarcerated people of color… Hmmmm. Oh how can we achieve ‘equality’…. Dubya? Hummm?!”

NoWireHangers January 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Our sexiest AG since Janet Reno!

Darehead January 28, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Can’t…. fully celebrate…… Until.
…..he loses the ‘stache .

magic titty January 28, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Who are the two mean ol’ crackers who voted against him?

And will he have a playable character in the Super Obama World video game??

Tommy Says Soooo January 28, 2009 at 12:34 pm

A pr0n ‘stache is the black man of the facial hair world.

shortsshortsshorts January 28, 2009 at 12:35 pm

Alberto Gonzales had his feelings hurt well enough when he was breaking every known law of man. LEAVE HIM ALONE!11!

SayItWithWookies January 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm

As his first act, he’s officially gonna go Mau-Mau on unconstitutional behavior. What?

masterdebater January 28, 2009 at 12:37 pm

I guess we find out if the culture of Washinton has really changed now? If even one of the Bush crooks is prosecuted it would be a change from the old “let’s move on” excuses democrats have always used in the past…but I’ve got my money on the wimp factor winning out here.

BillyClubb January 28, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Now who’s gonna play Eric Holder on ‘Saturday Night Live’? And can we make fun of him without being called racist crackers?

shortsshortsshorts January 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=230654]BillyClubb[/re]: Probably some white guy.

AngryBlakGuy January 28, 2009 at 12:40 pm

…we can haz indictment?

sarcasticusername January 28, 2009 at 12:41 pm

@magic titty: coburn and john “i’m voting against everyone” cornyn.
normally i hate the pornstache, but he’s working it so i vote to let him keep it; plus his stache twin axelrod might get a little worried if all the facial hair keeps getting scrubbed out of obama world.

Colander January 28, 2009 at 12:41 pm

What dance is he doing in that picture?

S.Luggo January 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Is that a turn table in front of Holder?

TGY January 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Black or white, I’m just happy it’s someone who believes no one is above the law. Now, how many illegals clean house for him?

randomsausage January 28, 2009 at 12:45 pm

I didn’t know Marlboro Man came in black

Tommy Says Soooo January 28, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Kudos to the product placement guys at Geico for getting the Caveman in shot behind Holder.

SayItWithWookies January 28, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=230654]BillyClubb[/re]: Their black guy — you know, Fred Armisen.

freakishlystrong January 28, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Remember Eric, “Waterboarding is torture”.

Doglessliberal January 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I like to think that Alberto was not really an AG. He was a humanoid robot who was controlled from a bunker deep under the Naval Observatory.

Min January 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I just hope he doesn’t sell us out to the Empire.

BillyClubb January 28, 2009 at 12:50 pm

[re=230666]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh yeah, the same guy who played Barack Obama. That makes sense.

Bruno January 28, 2009 at 12:53 pm

I take it both Blago and Burris’s trailblazin’ made this possible.

Not_So_Much January 28, 2009 at 12:59 pm

This is a good thing. I wonder if I can demonstrate enough loyalty to get a job? Mine just went bye-bye.

PsycGirl January 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm

[re=230666]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I say Darrell Hammond, because if you squint, Holder looks sorta like a black Bill Clinton.

NoWireHangers January 28, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=230644]Darehead[/re]: Oooh, I love the ‘stache. It’s sexy. ‘Staches are back, man!

NoWireHangers January 28, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=230654]BillyClubb[/re]: Tina Fey, obviously.

Advocatus_Diaboli January 28, 2009 at 1:04 pm

[re=230638]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]:

what My dog left in the backyard this morning would be a substantially better AG than Alberto.

[/fixed]

Gorillionaire January 28, 2009 at 1:06 pm

His unusually tall forehead contains extra special brainpower.

shanemacgowan January 28, 2009 at 1:07 pm

The new AG used to tend bar on the Love Boat

Chickensmack January 28, 2009 at 1:07 pm

[re=230663]TGY[/re]: Years and years of tired old generational stories emanate from the millions who filed through Ellis Island, in their hopes and dreams of becoming ‘Muricans… unless you’re a nanny?

Cape Clod January 28, 2009 at 1:08 pm

So is Det. Wojohowitz still going to be his dumb but lovable partner?

Doglessliberal January 28, 2009 at 1:10 pm

[re=230686]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: right, because I think a dog would have better legal ethics than Alberto. Dog poop, not so much, but it is a close call.

madtowngooner January 28, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Now the Man is really going to be all over my white ass.

Chief Grinning Eagle January 28, 2009 at 1:13 pm

It’s good to finally have a real lawyer in this position. A mouthpiece like Gonzales doesn’t even belong on a tuba. He might work on Sylvester Stallone as a mouthpiece for filming Rocky XXXV – the one where Rocky gets beaten to a pulp by Joan Rivers.

Gayer Than Thou January 28, 2009 at 1:17 pm

[re=230645]magic titty[/re]: Why do you assume that the two Senators who voted against had to be white? I mean, racist much? Given how diverse the U.S. population is, members of the Senate could be from any ethnic or racial … oh, wait.

Never mind.

Syd January 28, 2009 at 1:17 pm

[re=230660]Colander[/re]: He is doing the Cabbage Patch. Made popular in the 1980′s, and works well with the stach. WootWoot!!

tiny mexican January 28, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Man, speaking of ol’ Gonzo, you guys totally missed the sexxy kiss he shared with Bush:

http://thinkprogress.org/2009/01/21/gonzales-kiss-bush/

GONZALES: The last thing he said as he was getting off the plane — he kissed me on the forehead — and he said, “Just stay strong.” […]

HERMAN: Any tears shed on the plane by anybody?

GONZALES: By me, yeah. There were a few.

HERMAN: Why?

GONZALES: Just pride. Just love and appreciation for the man and what he did, Ken.

obfuscator January 28, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=230637]rambone[/re]:

AG Eric Holder sez: “Don’t let the smooth taste fool you.”

Ayreon January 28, 2009 at 1:20 pm

We had a mexican attorney general? Funny, I don’t recall that.

Toomush Infermashun January 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I kind of like this Flavor-of-the-Month AG theory – Chinese next!….this time around we can work on changing the black/white prison ratio, and then, NEXT TIME we can bring back water torture…

Jollity January 28, 2009 at 1:27 pm

I may be hallucinating, but he looks a little bit like Rowan Atkinson to me.

Anyway, someone should get him a present of a book of techniques to improve the memory – so he never finds himself saying “I don’t recall”.

UNZIPPEDFLY January 28, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Who’s the black private dick That’s a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Holder!) You’re damn right

Who is the man That would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Holder!)Can ya dig it?

Who’s the cat that won’t cop out When there’s danger all about
(Holder!) Right on

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother– (Shut your mouth)
But I’m talkin’ about Holder (Then we can dig it)

He’s a complicated man But no one understands him but his woman
(Eric Holder)

Mr Blifil January 28, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Oh fuck they’re coming. Where the fuck am I supposed to hide my daughter? She’s taller than most of her contemporaries.

bago January 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Well, either way I’m pretty sure both a dog and a turd have a better memory than Alberto I don’t recall my own last name.

Crankenstank January 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm

Please, let’s use the Peggy-Noonan approved ethnic euphemisms in such posts: “Africkan” for Mr. Holder, and “Quetzlcoatlan-meso-american” for Gonzo.

bitchincamaro January 28, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Waterboard futures just tanked.

undermedicated January 28, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I’m not sure what to think of all this until I hear what Joe the Plumber has to say.

dougbob January 28, 2009 at 2:20 pm

waterboarding for republicans!

actor212 January 28, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Thus making it official: my alma mater now holds more power in America than ever before!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Prepare for Tim Robbins’ movies on HBO, 24/7!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

psilage January 28, 2009 at 3:44 pm

The real problem with Gonzalez was he was the first Tex-Mex atty general. I’m sure the first Mexican-American from anywhere else will do much better.

DangerousLiberal January 28, 2009 at 4:10 pm

[re=230638]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Works every time. Which you can’t say about Regents U grads.

Joe the Truck Nutz January 28, 2009 at 4:31 pm

I’ve been a big Holder fan since his days of playing Detective Ron Harris on the Tee-Vee.

randomsausage January 28, 2009 at 7:10 pm

From the comments we can deduce that his Holder chap looks a lot like other black men with mousers.

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