great moments in american history

Michelle Obama To Be Immortalized As Wax Demon!

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When does the soul get installed?In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. Michelle Obama, our new First Lady, will enjoy this wonderful privilege in a few short months.

We got this announcement, in the emails, courtesy of Madame Toussauds’ PR agency. Let’s see, we’ve got some blah blah blah about “Mrs. Obama will be the third First Lady to be immortalized in wax by Madame Tussauds Washington D.C., joining Jacqueline Kennedy and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton,” blah boring… Ah here we go:

Studio artists at Merlin Studios in London have been busy studying hundreds of photos and watching hours of video footage to create Mrs. Obama’s figure. The clay head mold represents a crucial step in the up to six month-long figure creation process, which is incredibly intricate.

Artists insert each strand of hair individually; creating just the head of the wax figure can take up to five weeks alone. Materials such as red silk are used to create the veins on the eyeballs and it can take technicians almost four days to make a set of teeth.

This veiny-eyeballed monster will be unveiled in March. How long before the life-sized wax fetish doll is available on the open market?

Photo courtesy of Merlin Studios.

Madame Tussauds Washington D.C.

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • TGY

    It loses something in the translation.

  • cal

    She’s a man!

  • Red Zeppelin

    I am waiting for the fully-functional anatomically correct version myself.

  • Min

    What? They couldn’t be bothered to minimize her laugh lines?

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Layman’s critique:….is this the right shade of ecru….? ’cause it seems off, a bit….

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Layman’s critique: No, really, I vote for monster titties…!

  • bitchincamaro

    “…red silk … used to create the veins on the eyeballs…”-


  • masterdebater

    I like her, but that’s just too creepy for words. And she can’t even sue? That’s just wrong!

  • war puppy

    This is a great victory for gray Americans everywhere.

  • mattbolt

    What’s she gonna be wearing, her puffball election night red and black thing, her lemongrass inauguration ensemble, or a period-appropriate burlap potato sac?

  • Obamaton

    [re=230556]Min[/re]: You sir, imply that there is something wrong with laugh lines? I present that this is not the case and that we should be appreciative of those laugh lines.

    I offer as evidence that this is not the case, here…the rictus death grim of a certain former first lady. Rictus grin…laugh lines. I will take those lines any day.

  • Cape Clod

    Why do I get a Tyler Perry vibe from that picture?

  • Obamaton

    [re=230556]Min[/re]: ‘sides, I like a lady with some experience.

  • mattbolt

    Damn, I should’ve gone to that creative design & technical school like that ad during the Price Is Right told me to do, I could be the guy that puts gross red silk veins into Gargoyle Michelle!

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    Wow, she’s quite pretty without the chador.

  • cal

    They probably just used the mold for “Generic Black Person” that they keep in the back room.

  • magic titty

    The Lionel Richie “Hello” video all over again.

  • Rary Guppert

    “In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. ”

    actually, no, i’m pretty sure that in the english-speaking world, the greatest honor is to be made into a real doll and fucked.

  • Larry Fine

    [re=230564]mattbolt[/re]: The First Lady should not wear any more outfits that shout out “I Hate America”.

  • sarcasticusername

    jackie, hillary and now michelle? omg there’s a liberal conspiracy afoot at madame tussaud’s, socialist europeans clearly hate republican first ladies!
    i hope they do a better job with michelle’s wax figure than they tend to do with the other black women in their collections.

  • Mr Blifil

    Oh sweet Jesus the terrorists done gone and sawed her head off. Gotta give them points for sheer initiative.

  • BarthexDeRosa

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Except it’s not sculpted out of cheese.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: WIN.

  • WadISay

    The figure they did of Cheney had to be pixilated and looked like a giant Rubick’s cube.

  • BillyClubb

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Whoa, Mr. Magic, you’re dating yourself. And by that I mean you’re showing your age, not that you’re going on a date with yourself (just want to explain, so that the weirdos on this board don’t get all excited).

    ‘Hello’ was a goofy, sappy video. I wonder if Lionel Ritchie ever looks back at that and says “God, what have I done”.

  • freakishlystrong

    What’s that color? Is this what my sista friends mean when they say they all “ashy”?

  • mbprice

    I’d be interested in seeing the first Third Lady. Let’s see, that would be Robert Byrd’s wife, Erma Ora Byrd, who is… oh. Never mind.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I never realized she had such a mammoth head.

  • magic titty

    [re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: Ha. That’s what YOU think.

    [re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: I’m pretty young, fine sir. I just remember how terrible it all was. Dancin’ On The Ceilin’ however, was inspired.
    But I think he saves the “What have I done?” for whenever his dim-witted child Nicole is on tv.

  • magic titty

    [re=230604]magic titty[/re]: Appy-polly-loggies, that first comment was for [re=230581]BarthexDeRosa[/re]:

  • Bruno

    [re=230570]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: it would certainly cut alot of time out of this process with a burkha

  • pondscum

    [re=230603]Gayer Than Thou[/re]: And as a result, mammoth teeth.

  • shanemacgowan

    [re=230577]sarcasticusername[/re]: The republican ladies are already made of wax. Have you seen Kay Bailey Hutchinson?

  • actor212

    Madame Tussaud looks like a guy in this picture.

  • ella

    She looks angry. You can just tell she’s really angree.

  • El Pinche

    This one is pretty good. However, the Cindy McCain waxoid looks like a Lane Bryant mannequin which is spot on.

  • randomsausage

    Whitey’s doing a good job with her likeness, if you ask me

  • S.Luggo

    Call me when he gets to the posterior.

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=230575]Rary Guppert[/re]: OT, your avatar is Maryann from Gilligan’s Isle I presume?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I’m impressed by the realistic entrails hanging out of her neck.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Zombie Michelle?

  • Syd

    This head will go great with the wax hands of President Obama they made for the inagauration.

  • Garble

    [re=230603]Gayer Than Thou[/re]:
    This enormous woman will devour us all!

  • Crazybroad

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Thanks. Coffee all over keyboard/screen. Will have to work late to seem productive/save job.

  • Servo

    It’s the prototype for a Michelle Combat Android, designed to exterminate Republicans.

  • Mr Blifil

    I still can’t get Kiss’s “Plaster Caster” out of my head.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Layman’s critique: Oh, and a huge, huge moneymaker, ok?…I mean huge!…yeah….

  • orbit222

    What a fall from grace… Harry potter goes from saving the world to carving wax.

  • CollegeStudent

    Is the final product gonna be wearing leggings?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Having seen who does the sculpting, Larry Craig and David Dreier have volunteered to model.

  • choinski

    The eyes don’t match. One is oddly larger in a Picasso sort of way. Unless its a salute to Elanor Roosevelt, which is OK.

  • ToeCramps

    [re=230621]ella[/re]: Dumb ass! Don’t you know all teh Black Ladies are angry by white Amerikkka’s standards? Ever wonder what they are angry about?

  • Jamie Sommers

    [re=230556]Min[/re]: Someone forgot to tell them that Black don’t crack.

    [re=230611]shanemacgowan[/re]: Kay Bailey is no lady.

  • sanantonerose


  • sanantonerose

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]:

    Tam bo li de say de moi ya
    Hey Jambo Jumbo
    Way to parti o we goin’
    Oh, jambali
    Tam bo li de say de moi ya
    Yeah, Jambo, jumbo

  • TexasCowGirl

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Oh my that poor blind girl being stalked by a man with horrible hair. Gave me the creeps.

  • TexasCowGirl

    [re=230564]mattbolt[/re]: According to Juan Williams, Stokely Carmichael in a dress.

  • OzoneTom

    I want to see how they do Sara K. Smith. It will be a great day.