Michelle Obama To Be Immortalized As Wax Demon!

  great moments in american history

When does the soul get installed?In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. Michelle Obama, our new First Lady, will enjoy this wonderful privilege in a few short months.

We got this announcement, in the emails, courtesy of Madame Toussauds’ PR agency. Let’s see, we’ve got some blah blah blah about “Mrs. Obama will be the third First Lady to be immortalized in wax by Madame Tussauds Washington D.C., joining Jacqueline Kennedy and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton,” blah boring… Ah here we go:

Studio artists at Merlin Studios in London have been busy studying hundreds of photos and watching hours of video footage to create Mrs. Obama’s figure. The clay head mold represents a crucial step in the up to six month-long figure creation process, which is incredibly intricate.

Artists insert each strand of hair individually; creating just the head of the wax figure can take up to five weeks alone. Materials such as red silk are used to create the veins on the eyeballs and it can take technicians almost four days to make a set of teeth.

This veiny-eyeballed monster will be unveiled in March. How long before the life-sized wax fetish doll is available on the open market?

Photo courtesy of Merlin Studios.

Madame Tussauds Washington D.C.

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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58 comments

  1. Toomush Infermashun

    Layman’s critique:….is this the right shade of ecru….? ’cause it seems off, a bit….

  2. masterdebater

    I like her, but that’s just too creepy for words. And she can’t even sue? That’s just wrong!

  3. mattbolt

    What’s she gonna be wearing, her puffball election night red and black thing, her lemongrass inauguration ensemble, or a period-appropriate burlap potato sac?

  4. Obamaton

    [re=230556]Min[/re]: You sir, imply that there is something wrong with laugh lines? I present that this is not the case and that we should be appreciative of those laugh lines.

    I offer as evidence that this is not the case, here…the rictus death grim of a certain former first lady. Rictus grin…laugh lines. I will take those lines any day.

  5. mattbolt

    Damn, I should’ve gone to that creative design & technical school like that ad during the Price Is Right told me to do, I could be the guy that puts gross red silk veins into Gargoyle Michelle!

  6. Rary Guppert

    “In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. ”

    actually, no, i’m pretty sure that in the english-speaking world, the greatest honor is to be made into a real doll and fucked.

  7. Larry Fine

    [re=230564]mattbolt[/re]: The First Lady should not wear any more outfits that shout out “I Hate America”.

  8. sarcasticusername

    jackie, hillary and now michelle? omg there’s a liberal conspiracy afoot at madame tussaud’s, socialist europeans clearly hate republican first ladies!
    i hope they do a better job with michelle’s wax figure than they tend to do with the other black women in their collections.

  9. Mr Blifil

    Oh sweet Jesus the terrorists done gone and sawed her head off. Gotta give them points for sheer initiative.

  10. BillyClubb

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Whoa, Mr. Magic, you’re dating yourself. And by that I mean you’re showing your age, not that you’re going on a date with yourself (just want to explain, so that the weirdos on this board don’t get all excited).

    ‘Hello’ was a goofy, sappy video. I wonder if Lionel Ritchie ever looks back at that and says “God, what have I done”.

  11. mbprice

    I’d be interested in seeing the first Third Lady. Let’s see, that would be Robert Byrd’s wife, Erma Ora Byrd, who is… oh. Never mind.

  12. magic titty

    [re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: Ha. That’s what YOU think.

    [re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: I’m pretty young, fine sir. I just remember how terrible it all was. Dancin’ On The Ceilin’ however, was inspired.
    But I think he saves the “What have I done?” for whenever his dim-witted child Nicole is on tv.

  13. magic titty

    [re=230604]magic titty[/re]: Appy-polly-loggies, that first comment was for [re=230581]BarthexDeRosa[/re]:

  14. shanemacgowan

    [re=230577]sarcasticusername[/re]: The republican ladies are already made of wax. Have you seen Kay Bailey Hutchinson?

  15. El Pinche

    This one is pretty good. However, the Cindy McCain waxoid looks like a Lane Bryant mannequin which is spot on.

  16. Crazybroad

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Thanks. Coffee all over keyboard/screen. Will have to work late to seem productive/save job.

  17. lawrenceofthedesert

    Having seen who does the sculpting, Larry Craig and David Dreier have volunteered to model.

  18. choinski

    The eyes don’t match. One is oddly larger in a Picasso sort of way. Unless its a salute to Elanor Roosevelt, which is OK.

  19. ToeCramps

    [re=230621]ella[/re]: Dumb ass! Don’t you know all teh Black Ladies are angry by white Amerikkka’s standards? Ever wonder what they are angry about?

  20. Jamie Sommers

    [re=230556]Min[/re]: Someone forgot to tell them that Black don’t crack.

    [re=230611]shanemacgowan[/re]: Kay Bailey is no lady.

  21. sanantonerose

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]:

    Tam bo li de say de moi ya
    Hey Jambo Jumbo
    Way to parti o we goin’
    Oh, jambali
    Tam bo li de say de moi ya
    Yeah, Jambo, jumbo

  22. TexasCowGirl

    [re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Oh my that poor blind girl being stalked by a man with horrible hair. Gave me the creeps.

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