GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY  11:27 am February 9, 2009

Michelle Obama To Be Immortalized As Wax Demon!

by Sara K. Smith

When does the soul get installed?In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. Michelle Obama, our new First Lady, will enjoy this wonderful privilege in a few short months.

We got this announcement, in the emails, courtesy of Madame Toussauds’ PR agency. Let’s see, we’ve got some blah blah blah about “Mrs. Obama will be the third First Lady to be immortalized in wax by Madame Tussauds Washington D.C., joining Jacqueline Kennedy and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton,” blah boring… Ah here we go:

Studio artists at Merlin Studios in London have been busy studying hundreds of photos and watching hours of video footage to create Mrs. Obama’s figure. The clay head mold represents a crucial step in the up to six month-long figure creation process, which is incredibly intricate.

Artists insert each strand of hair individually; creating just the head of the wax figure can take up to five weeks alone. Materials such as red silk are used to create the veins on the eyeballs and it can take technicians almost four days to make a set of teeth.

This veiny-eyeballed monster will be unveiled in March. How long before the life-sized wax fetish doll is available on the open market?

Photo courtesy of Merlin Studios.

Madame Tussauds Washington D.C.

 
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{ 58 comments }

TGY January 28, 2009 at 11:30 am

It loses something in the translation.

cal January 28, 2009 at 11:30 am

She’s a man!

Red Zeppelin January 28, 2009 at 11:31 am

I am waiting for the fully-functional anatomically correct version myself.

Min January 28, 2009 at 11:31 am

What? They couldn’t be bothered to minimize her laugh lines?

Toomush Infermashun January 28, 2009 at 11:32 am

Layman’s critique:….is this the right shade of ecru….? ’cause it seems off, a bit….

Toomush Infermashun January 28, 2009 at 11:33 am

Layman’s critique: No, really, I vote for monster titties…!

bitchincamaro January 28, 2009 at 11:33 am

“…red silk … used to create the veins on the eyeballs…”-

*vomitting*

masterdebater January 28, 2009 at 11:34 am

I like her, but that’s just too creepy for words. And she can’t even sue? That’s just wrong!

war puppy January 28, 2009 at 11:35 am

This is a great victory for gray Americans everywhere.

mattbolt January 28, 2009 at 11:35 am

What’s she gonna be wearing, her puffball election night red and black thing, her lemongrass inauguration ensemble, or a period-appropriate burlap potato sac?

Obamaton January 28, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=230556]Min[/re]: You sir, imply that there is something wrong with laugh lines? I present that this is not the case and that we should be appreciative of those laugh lines.

I offer as evidence that this is not the case, here…the rictus death grim of a certain former first lady. Rictus grin…laugh lines. I will take those lines any day.

Cape Clod January 28, 2009 at 11:36 am

Why do I get a Tyler Perry vibe from that picture?

Obamaton January 28, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=230556]Min[/re]: ‘sides, I like a lady with some experience.

mattbolt January 28, 2009 at 11:37 am

Damn, I should’ve gone to that creative design & technical school like that ad during the Price Is Right told me to do, I could be the guy that puts gross red silk veins into Gargoyle Michelle!

Tommy Says Soooo January 28, 2009 at 11:37 am

Wow, she’s quite pretty without the chador.

cal January 28, 2009 at 11:37 am

They probably just used the mold for “Generic Black Person” that they keep in the back room.

magic titty January 28, 2009 at 11:39 am

The Lionel Richie “Hello” video all over again.

Rary Guppert January 28, 2009 at 11:40 am

“In the English-speaking world, the greatest honor that a well-known human can earn is to be made into a waxen gargoyle by Madame Tussauds. ”

actually, no, i’m pretty sure that in the english-speaking world, the greatest honor is to be made into a real doll and fucked.

Larry Fine January 28, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=230564]mattbolt[/re]: The First Lady should not wear any more outfits that shout out “I Hate America”.

sarcasticusername January 28, 2009 at 11:41 am

jackie, hillary and now michelle? omg there’s a liberal conspiracy afoot at madame tussaud’s, socialist europeans clearly hate republican first ladies!
i hope they do a better job with michelle’s wax figure than they tend to do with the other black women in their collections.

Mr Blifil January 28, 2009 at 11:42 am

Oh sweet Jesus the terrorists done gone and sawed her head off. Gotta give them points for sheer initiative.

BarthexDeRosa January 28, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Except it’s not sculpted out of cheese.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 28, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]: WIN.

WadISay January 28, 2009 at 11:52 am

The figure they did of Cheney had to be pixilated and looked like a giant Rubick’s cube.

BillyClubb January 28, 2009 at 11:52 am

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Whoa, Mr. Magic, you’re dating yourself. And by that I mean you’re showing your age, not that you’re going on a date with yourself (just want to explain, so that the weirdos on this board don’t get all excited).

‘Hello’ was a goofy, sappy video. I wonder if Lionel Ritchie ever looks back at that and says “God, what have I done”.

freakishlystrong January 28, 2009 at 11:52 am

What’s that color? Is this what my sista friends mean when they say they all “ashy”?

mbprice January 28, 2009 at 11:55 am

I’d be interested in seeing the first Third Lady. Let’s see, that would be Robert Byrd’s wife, Erma Ora Byrd, who is… oh. Never mind.

Gayer Than Thou January 28, 2009 at 12:00 pm

I never realized she had such a mammoth head.

magic titty January 28, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: Ha. That’s what YOU think.

[re=230593]BillyClubb[/re]: I’m pretty young, fine sir. I just remember how terrible it all was. Dancin’ On The Ceilin’ however, was inspired.
But I think he saves the “What have I done?” for whenever his dim-witted child Nicole is on tv.

magic titty January 28, 2009 at 12:05 pm

[re=230604]magic titty[/re]: Appy-polly-loggies, that first comment was for [re=230581]BarthexDeRosa[/re]:

Bruno January 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm

[re=230570]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: it would certainly cut alot of time out of this process with a burkha

pondscum January 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm

[re=230603]Gayer Than Thou[/re]: And as a result, mammoth teeth.

shanemacgowan January 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm

[re=230577]sarcasticusername[/re]: The republican ladies are already made of wax. Have you seen Kay Bailey Hutchinson?

actor212 January 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Madame Tussaud looks like a guy in this picture.

ella January 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm

She looks angry. You can just tell she’s really angree.

El Pinche January 28, 2009 at 12:20 pm

This one is pretty good. However, the Cindy McCain waxoid looks like a Lane Bryant mannequin which is spot on.

randomsausage January 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Whitey’s doing a good job with her likeness, if you ask me

S.Luggo January 28, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Call me when he gets to the posterior.

DoctorCulturae January 28, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=230575]Rary Guppert[/re]: OT, your avatar is Maryann from Gilligan’s Isle I presume?

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 28, 2009 at 12:26 pm

I’m impressed by the realistic entrails hanging out of her neck.

Dashboard_Buddha January 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Zombie Michelle?

Syd January 28, 2009 at 12:56 pm

This head will go great with the wax hands of President Obama they made for the inagauration.

Garble January 28, 2009 at 1:00 pm

[re=230603]Gayer Than Thou[/re]:
This enormous woman will devour us all!

Crazybroad January 28, 2009 at 1:16 pm

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Thanks. Coffee all over keyboard/screen. Will have to work late to seem productive/save job.

Servo January 28, 2009 at 1:26 pm

It’s the prototype for a Michelle Combat Android, designed to exterminate Republicans.

Mr Blifil January 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I still can’t get Kiss’s “Plaster Caster” out of my head.

Toomush Infermashun January 28, 2009 at 2:03 pm

Layman’s critique: Oh, and a huge, huge moneymaker, ok?…I mean huge!…yeah….

orbit222 January 28, 2009 at 2:15 pm

What a fall from grace… Harry potter goes from saving the world to carving wax.

CollegeStudent January 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Is the final product gonna be wearing leggings?

lawrenceofthedesert January 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Having seen who does the sculpting, Larry Craig and David Dreier have volunteered to model.

choinski January 28, 2009 at 3:59 pm

The eyes don’t match. One is oddly larger in a Picasso sort of way. Unless its a salute to Elanor Roosevelt, which is OK.

ToeCramps January 28, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=230621]ella[/re]: Dumb ass! Don’t you know all teh Black Ladies are angry by white Amerikkka’s standards? Ever wonder what they are angry about?

Jamie Sommers January 28, 2009 at 5:50 pm

[re=230556]Min[/re]: Someone forgot to tell them that Black don’t crack.

[re=230611]shanemacgowan[/re]: Kay Bailey is no lady.

sanantonerose January 28, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Ashy.

sanantonerose January 28, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]:

Tam bo li de say de moi ya
Hey Jambo Jumbo
Way to parti o we goin’
Oh, jambali
Tam bo li de say de moi ya
Yeah, Jambo, jumbo

TexasCowGirl January 28, 2009 at 8:04 pm

[re=230573]magic titty[/re]: Oh my that poor blind girl being stalked by a man with horrible hair. Gave me the creeps.

TexasCowGirl January 28, 2009 at 8:08 pm

[re=230564]mattbolt[/re]: According to Juan Williams, Stokely Carmichael in a dress.

http://www.jackandjillpolitics.com/2009/01/shelby-steele-award/

OzoneTom January 29, 2009 at 9:45 pm

I want to see how they do Sara K. Smith. It will be a great day.

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