• May 27, 2012

Bushie Intel Director Flees For His Life

by Ken Layne  4:44 pm January 27, 2009

America's Weasel.Director of National Intelligence Mike McConnell, a known weasel who bravely condoned (and lied about) whatever torture the Bush Administration wanted, has abruptly quit and is reportedly trying to make an international flight out of Dulles before too many passengers at the gate notice the sweaty twerp with the duffelbag full of loose bills looks just like that douche Wolf Blitzer is talking about on all the teevees everywhere!

McConnell was to be fired as soon as Obama’s choice for intel director is confirmed by the Senate — Dennis Blair is expected to be confirmed with a big majority, no controversy, etc. So why did McConnell suddenly resign today (“effective immediately”), leaving nothing behind but a bullshit memo praising himself for spying on innocent Americans and pissing on the Constitution?

Don’t let the door torture you to death on the way out!

DNI McConnell: Screw You Guys, I’m Going Home [Spencer Ackerman]

{ 30 comments }

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Quick — look in his filing cabinet under S for “Shit we lied about.”

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm

I guess he really wants that job at Abercrombie and Fitch.

BadKitty January 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm

If we split up, we can still catch him. There has to be Wonketters near every major airport. Print out his photo and go! Go! Net the son-of-a-bitch! Gitmo will still be open for another year – let this weasel enjoy its amenities.

tunamelt January 27, 2009 at 4:55 pm

It’d be funny if his name was on the no-fly list and he got nabbed by Homeland Security.

digibal235 January 27, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Must have gotten nervous with the new lobbying rules. Going to work as a lobbyist.

ladymacbeth January 27, 2009 at 4:59 pm

if i were a friend of mr. mcconnell, i’d advise him to sit tight at home. we have extradition treaties with those countries he might like to visit.

and the ones we don’t, well, i bet THEY would very much like HIM to visit.

Texan Bulldoggette January 27, 2009 at 5:01 pm

Is this goober related to minority leader Mitch McConnell? If so, seems like being a douche bag runs in the family.

S.Luggo January 27, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Hey. Let up. McConnell had to leave early to defrost the human testicles he had in the freezer.

j6n January 27, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=229896]BadKitty[/re]: don’t forget to check the bathroom stalls.

helzapoppn January 27, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Just one of many Bush Administration figures who should think REAL hard before traveling abroad ever again. The International Criminal Court don’t play; just ask Slobo.

Bruno January 27, 2009 at 5:22 pm

This is totally outrageous and couldn’t be worse news about a wonderful, wonderful man.

(Just a reminder: Do not say anything too rude, about McConnell, he still has guys on the inside. Layne: I suggest you modify your post if you want to ever travel again without the anal probe…)

The Cold Sea January 27, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Uruguay gains another citizen.

donner_froh January 27, 2009 at 5:50 pm

[re=229937]Bruno[/re]: Why would anyone bother to travel if not for the anal probe?

Min January 27, 2009 at 5:55 pm

So why did McConnell suddenly resign today (”effective immediately”), leaving nothing behind but a bullshit memo praising himself for spying on innocent Americans and pissing on the Constitution?

He’s up to Chapter 9 in the Neocon handbook for screwing America, “Getting the Hell Out of Dodge”.

Crankenstank January 27, 2009 at 5:57 pm

How many times can a revolving door hit you in your ass on the way out?

tiger January 27, 2009 at 6:06 pm

It’s like when all the Nazis scurried away to Bolivia….

MarieDeGournay January 27, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Heading back to the giant fishhead hideout of the Legion of Doom.

CollegeStudent January 27, 2009 at 6:20 pm

How long has someone been waiting to say “Sunni we will be Shiite out of luck”?
Seriously, its had to have been like 6 years someone has been sitting on that gem, just waiting to unleash it onto a grateful public

Mo MoDo January 27, 2009 at 6:26 pm

He’s just part of the Paraguay advance team.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 27, 2009 at 6:28 pm

First Bill Kristol flees to Canada and Dick Morris to Mexico before the inauguration and now this. Is no one safe during Obama’s cruel reign?

josereyes.theroof January 27, 2009 at 7:03 pm

[re=229948]The Cold Sea[/re]: Uruguay doesn’t want ‘em.

LittlePig January 27, 2009 at 7:24 pm

So much for the Axis of Weasel.

cal January 27, 2009 at 7:28 pm

[re=230011]Mo MoDo[/re]: Yeah, he’s got a date with Cheney at a lovely Paraguayan resort for Republicans on the run.

recharged95 January 27, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=229983]Min[/re]: Also fulfilling chap 10. “Get your drink on”.
The AP also reports that McConnell will rejoin Booz Allen Hamilton as senior vice president, where he worked before taking the intelligence job in 2006.

Nice guys at BAH, but they don’t call it Booz[e] for just a last name.

SVP is pretty low on the totem pole too…

slowhansolo January 27, 2009 at 8:30 pm

It seems the getting’s good.

Mahousu January 27, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Hey, guys, not to worry. In case you hadn’t heard, Washington got like 3 (ok, 2 and a half) inches of snow today. McConnell won’t even make it five miles, let alone out of the country.

DoctorCulturae January 27, 2009 at 9:21 pm

[re=229896]BadKitty[/re]: Quick Robin! To the batpoles!

villageatrois January 27, 2009 at 11:03 pm

How Merka gonna get its damn groove on when its losin’ its sleeze? Fuckin’ sleeze be Jonesin’ out its ports. Drippin!

Rary Guppert January 28, 2009 at 9:34 am

i like how the article goes on and on literally forever, like a mobius strip, and then at the end the first comment is, “There’s just one more thing I’d like to add.”

Bamosito January 28, 2009 at 11:29 am

The idea of anyone being referred to as Bushie and intel in the same breath leads one to belive that Einstein’s Specific Theory of Relativity can be appled to non consistant moving mass, or it just freeaks me out, one of the two. I relish the though of Rovian sightings on Monday next. What will that little man do now that the schoolyard bully no longr protects him?

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