Wonkette
Richard Cohen hearkens back to the old days, before the despicable Blackened Berries and loathsome Amazonian Kindle Stick ruined America, back when that woman (wife? who can remember!) silently delivered the victuals of his Daily Break Fast, a duty for which he oft rewarded her with the “women’s page” of the Morning Herald-Federalist. But there’s one modern moment he loves, and that is the Wicked Day the Black-Haired Jackals did Massacre many Innocents in the Towers of Newe Amsterdam, because it gave the Bush Administration all the cover it needed to be 100% Evil.
Because everybody in America (and the world!) sort of went crazy for a few weeks, and a terrified nation acquiesced to this dumb clown child, George W. Bush Junior, who squeaked into the White House eight months earlier to the general disgust of the planet, and all the president’s men saw this as a wonderful opportunity to indiscriminately torture and defile anybody they wanted and bomb the shit out of any sand trap on the globe, Richard Cohen figures we should just let these American monsters go about their lives and corporate board retreats and $50,000-per-appearance speaking tours.
After all, it’s your fault for being scared dumb, America. You gave these motherfuckers the opening, with your horrified support for whomever claimed to be in charge, of anything:
Back then, a Post poll gave George W. Bush an approval rating of 92 percent, which meant that almost no one thought he was on the wrong course. At the same time, questions about the viability of torture were very much in the air.
Well goodness, Richard, there’s certainly no reason for a nation’s leaders to act responsibly in a time of crisis, right? The mob was fine with whatever, after all. If there’s anything we’ve learned from History, it’s that an angry throng of idiots always shows excellent judgment. Why, a leader can’t go wrong when he takes his counsel from the frightened, excited populace — and all the better if he exploits it.
Who needs Kristol at the Post when we’ve got this nasty little fool Richard Cohen to kick around?
Moving Past Torture [Washington Post]
I am SO starting my own newsepaper!
Richard Cohen is now less credible than a Holocaust denier.
At least the deniers are honest about what they’re doing.
Wow. Letterman should really look into buying some Grecian Formula for that gray.
Richard Cohen: Great columnist or Greatest columnist?
He seems like a man that might, in a different setting, make an arguement that (from a certain perspective) cultures that practiced child sacrifice were justified in their collective insanity. But hey, if it appeased the rain gods, who are we to quibble?
Know what else is in the air? My fist aimed at Richard Cohen’s fucking ear the next time I see him (which will be never, sigh).
See, the trouble with these Web log thingies is that just about anybody can say any sort of irresponsible thing, unsupported by facts, and just put it out there, without taking any responsibility for it. Whereas with an august journicalistical institution like the Washington Post , uh…it’s just the fucking same.
You know what’s funny? I don’t remember anyone explaining that we were going to start torturing people. In fact, in my recollection, our beloved leaders did the best they could to hide the fact that they were torturing people, then, when the Abu Ghraib photographs appeared, continued to pretend they had nothing to do with it and that it was just a couple of “bad apples.” But then, my brains have been scrambled by reading things on those newfangled screen thingys, and by occasional exposure to people with tattoos.
This guy is like the voice in a 5-year-old’s head that says, “Go ahead, stick that fork in the socket.”
I mean, I guess…we can’t know how smart we are unless some part of our being spouts ridiculous, stupid shit…right?
Good point, Richard — after 9/11 we all sat around and had a cold, rational and public discussion about whether we should use torture, how legal it was or wasn’t, what controls we would implement on its use, under what circumstances we would torture, etc. etc. Why would we now turn our backs on those decisions we made as a people? I mean, besides the fact that we never had that fucking discussion?
Because the way I remember it — and correct me if I’m wrong here — all we kept hearing was, “We don’t torture, we don’t torture, we don’t torture.” And then of course, Abu Ghraib was an anomaly perpetrated by a few bad apples at the bottom, not acting on orders from Donald Rumsfeld. And so was that Canadian dude we renditioned to Syria where he was kept in a six-foot cell for 18 months and tortured. And so was that Afghan cabbie we suspended from the ceiling of a hangar in Bhagram and beat to death. And all those other people too. As Dubya said, that’s not us. No, we shouldn’t prosecute the motherfuckers like John Yoo and Alberto Gonzales who said this was legal and that the Geneva Conventions were quaint.
Jesus, why am I so fucking mad? I must be lacking in the proper reverent submission to my profession.
Tra: How could you forget the transparent Bush administration, when every serious decision that might impact the future character of our country was openly and honestly debated?
/Orwell
Does this mean that now that I’m unemployed, I can go rob somebody and instead of going to jail, I can ask for a truth commission because I was panicked and scared?
Was Reasoning behind 9/11, because he’s torturing the shit out of it.
Tra: Yup, that’s my imperfect recollection of how it went, too.
The Post editorial page is the land of the olds.
The populace was never complicit in the Bush administration use of torture.
Just because Bush had 92% approval ratings at one point does not mean 92% approved torture or even knew torture was being used at that time.
A little logic here, Richard.
Richard, Jack Bauer still won’t fist you, so quit your cheerleadin’, twatwaffle.
WhatTheHeck: That is asking for way too much from Richard Cohen.
MoodProcessor:
Yes, it’s as if no republican, ever had a mom that gave them that talk that began, “If everyone else jumped off of a cliff…”
Tra: now, now, it’s not “torture”. It is “enhanced interrogation techniques”.
(ignore the fact that people will tell you whatever you want to hear, even if they make shit up, if you are drowning them, so I guess the enhancement of the technique is not as to the quality of the information obtained….)
The WaPo is going to turn into the Great NeoCon Collider when Kristol comes on board, and the resulting black hole will destroy all life as we know it.
Tra: Apparently that discussion was limited to the REAL AMERICANS who get their information from actual paper instead of on the devil-made, twice cursed machines. Which would explain why I don’t remember having it either.
That, or it didn’t, you know, happen.
I read Cohen’s twaddle and humbug this morning and nearly burped my bagel.
“If there’s anything we’ve learned from History, it’s that an angry throng of idiots always shows excellent judgment.”
I initially misread this as “If there’s anything we’ve learned from Hillary…”
Which just goes to show.
Nice work, Layne.
Maybe it’s something about the first name “Dick”?
Because, in a career that has involved advocating freedom for thugs, permission to develop pristine landscape, and loans to feckless land developers, I’ve made some (you’ll pardon the expression) tortured arguments. But, I’m having trouble following this.
I think that he’s saying that (1) if we rallied around the Prez at a time of national peril, we authorized any excess the Prez might do or which might be done in his name; (2) if Alan “I’ll defend your civil rights down to your last dollar” Derchowitz (whose word is WORD on matters constitutional)thought torture might be made legal if warranted, then, clearly unwarranted torture is legal; (3) a *columnist* also suggested rendition, so it must be okay; and, also (4) The One wants to get the ‘pubs to vote for his economic stimulus before we have a partisan throw down over bringing Cheney to justice, so there’s that.
I once got paid to shovel cow dung on to a truck, so I think Dick Cohen and I might be equal in some way.
Plato often depicted democracy as mob-rule, so come on guys, give Richard Cohen some credit for seeing deep allegorical parallels between George W. Bush’s America and Hellenic era philosophers’ critique of late Athenian democracy…
I have a friend who is an award winning news photographer. She has a graduate degree in journalism and has lived in dangerous places around the world to do her work. She got laid off in December.
But this douchebag still collects a check. Fuck newspapers.
2goats: No, I think shoveling cow poop onto a truck puts you several steps above Dickhead Cohen.
Gorillionaire: AND, to make you feel worse, Kristol does, too.
bhosp: All I can say is thank God PUMA mobs will never amount to 92% of anything…
i murdered someone yesterday. when the police came to question me today, I explained, today I went out and got a haircut, changed my name, and bought a new suit. you can’t arrest me for murder; i am a different person today. The person who committed murder was the me of the past.
Neon Trotsky: Add butt sex joke here….
I’m all for torturing Richard Cohen; does that count?
Or at least putting him in the stocks so we can throw shit at him.
He looks like Arvin Sloane from Alias with the world’s shittiest frosted toupee.
SayItWithWookies: You have likely not started drinking yet, for the day anyway.
AnnieGetYourFun: True, and I’m going to wait until I’m done with the Jeopardy online test this evening. But I do have some brownies that will set my mind at ease.
And you guys called Krugman a beard clown!
Careful what we say in comments, or Michael Wilbon’s going to do us like he did Sean Taylor.
… Oh, what the hell? I’m making my popcorn right now & setting my tivo for PTI.
Cohen and Blago are going for the Great Hair Smackdown.
This is the problem with democracy. I say we vote Barry the Magical Elf Dictator For Life so he can make all of my decisions for me. Clearly, the people are dumb.
GLENZILLA ATTACK!