Wonkette
Tap-dancing vaudeville parasite Sarah Palin has started a political action committee on behalf of Sarah Palin, so that she may better position herself to ruin America as she has already ruined John McCain and the Republican party and many trash bags of expensive clothes. “SarahPAC believes America’s best days are ahead,” her new Web site reads. According to the logo, her mission will be to create an enormous Alaska-shaped lake in the Midwest, with an aqueduct to foster commerce with northern Mexico. [SarahPAC]
Pay up. Tripp needs some silk diapers.
Well shit, now how is she going to keep an eye on Putin?
Fucking A how many pantsuits does one woman need?
New motto: “SarachPAC… fuck Hawaii”
Are American dollars okay or does it have to be in Alaskan money?
Holy fuck! She just blasted a hole in the lower 48 the size of Alaska!
Looks kinda like Obama’s campaign website, eh? At least the font and “blue sky” shit does.
SarahPAC was my least favorite iteration of Pac-man.
Oh please please please tell me that shrill harpy Elisabeth Hasselbeck is somehow involved with this.
From the site’s FAQ:
What is SarahPac?
SarahPac is a federally registered political action committee….
How will contributions be spent? Your support of SarahPac will make it possible for Gov. Palin to continue to be a strong voice for energy independence and reform….
Who is behind SarahPac? …Gov. Palin is the official chair of SarahPac…
Or, in actual Englishisms:
What is SarahPac? An income stream for Sarah!
Who is behind SarahPac? Sarah.
Health care, education, and reform of government are among our key goals.
Pregnant teenagers, high school dropouts and free stuff?
She looks like she smells moose shit, but wants to wait until the picture’s taken to say anything about it.
…thanks, but no thanks!
See that shit behind her? With your help, Sarah can make it look like Wasilla.
I like that lake. It would leave the 2 Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas and parts of Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana under water. We’re talking permanent majority here.
“Right now, there are children, just like precious little Trigg here, who need your help. For only $5 a day, you can ensure that Trigg and others like him can have a better life, one free of his mother’s giant taint…wait, can I say that on air?”
Lalalalalalala! Not listening! I can’t hear you, Sarah!
Fucking die off you horrendous, spastic animal.
god please make this woman go away already.
This bitter turf war between SarahPAC Shakur and the Notorious O.B.A.M.A. will end in tears my friends.
An aqueduct to nowhere!
Jeebus, she’s dumber than Bush. She can’t even plot the destruction of America successfully.
Silly Palin, the parts you’re trying to turn into Lake Alaska are the red parts like Kansas and whatever. You should be try to drown the Northeast or the West Coast or something.
You’re welcome. [I'm am available as a PAC consultant, btw]
ella: or–> Walmart clinics, abstinence-only, and pay-for-pelts resource management (bonus if you shoot them from a flyin’ machine)
StephanieInCA: No, but I’m pretty Blago is!
Ok, so how do we crash the site again? Will they be mad if we send envelopes stuffed with Monopoloy money?
If the website was just launched, how frequently could the “Frequently Asked Questions” have been asked already, also?
SARAHPAC = HAS A CRAP, also.
Just wondering, are you allowed proceeds from meth deals for your PAC? Cause thanks to Levi’s mother, she’s already got a head start on raising money that way.
sarcasticusername: Seriously. Luckily I haven’t heard anything about Joe the Twatwaffle in about two weeks. I hope this doesn’t jinx it.
…I wish she would dig an Alaska sized lake in the mid-west! Because she would have to kill her entire base to do it! Where do I donate?
So if I make a website consisting of four vague sentences and a donate button, I can have a PAC, too!
I’m all for including Alaska, which gets unfairly excluded from far too many maps of America, but where is Hawaii?
I’m starting a PAC too. It’s called SallieMaeSuxPAC. Please send me all ur monies.
Will they accept boxes of human shit like the RNC does?
seriesoftubescleaner: Sarah would marry Alaska, fuck the contiguous 48, and fire Hawaii, because that is the falsified birthplace of the conciliatory demon son of a Luo tribesman B. HUSSEIN Obama, doncha know, a Muslim Indo-Kenyan puppet antichrist and mediocre bowler who is ruining America, also.
Sarah “Nostradamoose” Palin obviously recognizes that when the Yellowstone caldera blows it will crater in a southeastern direction and collapse most of Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Wyoming and South Dakota into a freshwater paradise, with fallout counteracting global warming and ’scrubbing’ the atmosphere of manmade pollution. The Republic of Texoklarkana will then secede from the union, and make peace with the north by agreeing to use Florida as a refuse dump.
The peace will last for a thousand years until the Yeti people descend from the Rocky Mts. and cross the Vegas River to overpower the Texaco luddites with their advanced moonshine-based technology.
Crazybroad: I hear that monopoly money looks very much like Swill kroners. She can open an off, off shore Swiss account to fund the bombing of abortion clinics world wide. GO SARAH.
No, really, just go…
tunamelt: Win.
Yes, but you see if you contribute, you get access to the “members only gallery.”
wigu: East Coast - West Coast Baybee!
How I’ve missed her. Can’t Obama make her some kind of “special envoy” to Russia? As a gift, for Putin.
quoth teh Raven: Oops.. Swiss
This explains Joe the Journalist. He’s making money for his benefactress. Is he back from Iraq yet?
I’ll donate if I can get the I-80 ferry boat concession.
I smell something suspiciously like fish. Also. The herring harangue commences.
Alaska is where the heart is. The heart of the contiguous US.
“And now from America’s heartland, Mexico, …”
Time to go to the anagrams…
hmmmm….
HAS A CRAP.
Yes, that will do nicely.
is she selling George Bush commemorative cigars??
wildeoats: Dammit! I’m always late to teh partay!
She looks constipated in the photo. Also. You know, you’d think they’d be smarter than that. Have her looking soulfully into the camera, the photo cropped just under her cleavage. Think, cretins.
Red Zeppelin: Someone ought to sacrifice themselves (and any political future) and donate munniez so we can haz pixxx.
A vast hole exists in the American midwest. It’s a place where ideas die. Sarah wants us to know that she’ll help expand that hole. And you better believe that babies will come out of that hole. Millions and millions and millions of dumb babies will emerge from America’s vast Alaska shaped vagina. God bless America.
Alaska will crush puny America!
Red Zeppelin: I was listening to you last night. I think it was “black dog,” but I was really drunk so I don’t really remember.
Red Zeppelin: I can haz access to nekkid pix of Todd & Levi for the buttsecks fantasies?
DOZ HERS PAC TAKE WALLMART GIFTS CARDS?
PALLIN 2011!
I could use some extra money too. I can see the Pacific Ocean from my house. I have absolutely no qualifications for public office. I didn’t finish college, but I have still managed to do OK with my life. However, this gives me hope that I can just stick up a web page and idiots will send cash. Let me know how this works out…you know, in case the republicans finish off the job market with their foot-dragging before Barry can stop them.
JohnnyMeatworth: Why GWB? Clinton would have been more appropriate, also. (Hey, someone had to say it.
Her goal is to make a giant lake in the shape of Alaska in the middle of murka?
F’it, I’m in. Jet Ski city!! yeehaw!
Just in case her base can’t find enough monies under the floorboards of their trailers, I say we donate to her PAC only so we can have a few laughs now and again. The woman is pure comic genius.
She looks like a retarded insect. Hell of a photoshop job scrubbing away most of her ommatidia.
nmmagayar: because of this Wonkette article yesterday mentioning the newly-minted GWB seegar: http://wonkette.com/405787/get-your-george-w-bush-commemorative-items
This is like in pre-Victorian England when actors and performers had to put on “benefit” performances. The benefit was that the performer got to keep the gate for those performances, instead of being given a cut. “Being For The Benefit of Mr. Kite” is based on a poster from one of these shows. Now we have pole dancing and pickle-licking contests, but it’s all pretty much the same thing.
Holy drunken negro heads! This cannot be happening.
I’d like to know where she got that Alaska-shaped shotgun to blast a hole in the US map.
Maverick! Also!
OMG HER LOWER TORSO IS GONE!!?!?!?
No more babies??!! How will she get her socialist monies from the state now?
I will match any donation from Joe the Journalist-Who-Is-Against-Journalists.
nmmagayar: Hot! And almost worth donating for. But actually I already have a President with a toned upper body who’s into fisting, so I’m pretty well set for politician porn — without the disadvantage of having retards in the White House again. Also.
I sent a box of diapers and a twelve pack of beer. I know it’s not a lot, but dammit, I want to support this effort!
that’s not alaska, that’s a beautiful starburst.
Jukesgrrl: I just remembered how cool it was in that video from Israel when Joe said, “You want a story? I got your story right over here!” And all the official journistical persons just came right over like a flock of lemmings heading for the cliff.
That suit jacket she’s wearing looks like she just pulled it out of a garbage bag.
‘K, Sarah, Sarah…
She’s like a brush fire that keeps on smoldering because no one takes it seriously. Anyone want a turkey sandwich?
She needs to put a few oil rigs in that backdrop to appeal to her base.
A good PAC, a cortical transplant, a new do, and a jail-free run for her relatives come next election, and Snowbilly Sarah might just have another shot at embarrassing herself and her party. It’s gonna be all boring and competent till then, so it’ll be a relief when she steps back on stage, and I’ll be there with mah reindeer spurs jinglin’ to support her.
And god yes, that photo — squeeze it out, Sarah, you’ll feel so much better.
Mustang: It does look a little wrinkled…probably because it was the only one the RNC wasn’t able to pull out of her dead lifeless fingers.
Oh boy….
In the immortal words of Forrest Gump’s mom: ‘YOU LIKE ME!! YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKE ME!’
Thank you America! Also!
-SP
V572625694: “You wanna story? DON’T SLANT IT! Come here. I got your story. Okay, number one… I’m not the story. You hate Israel? DON’T SLANT IT!”
That website cries out for a blingee makeover - and a guy decapitating live turkeys in the background.
I think that it would be nice for her to be able to send out email to as many people as possible, so I just registered a couple of dozen different email addresses for her. She should know how much support she has.
Sarah-PAC endorses Truck-Nutz, I Endorse Sarah-PAC.
OMG! I heard once Sarah Palin and TODD move into the white house we are ALL going to be forced to eat mooseburgers, wear Mantan, and BREED around the clock…HOLD ME,I´m scared.
Too bad she just threw away all those fancy shmancy clothes she got from the RNC. They could have brought in a pretty penny for her PAC on eBay
PAC = Palin And Crist in 2012
C’mon people it’s not the DaVinci Code.
is there a forum that we can lurk/troll in?
Why is she looking off to the side? Is Todd’s schlong flopping in the breeze over there?
Is that really the best photo they could find? Looking towards the heavens with arrogant half-smirk?
This might as well be BlagojevichPAC
Well, what I learned from the site was that
“In August 2008, Senator John McCain tapped Gov. Palin”
Didn’t know the old goat had it in him.
You gotta read her bio…apparently her folks moved to Alaska to become teachers in the little town of “Skagway”.
Dear God, can we please give Alaska and Sarah back to Russia? Please?
At the bottom of her website is a link for ‘contact’.
I urge you all to please join me in clicking on that link and emailing her so that you may all express your feelings about her.
I’m sure she would love to hear from us all!!!
SarahPAC believes the Republican Party is at the threshold of an historic …
I’m sorry, “an historic”? Maybe the elitist blue-state Brit-wannabees say “an ‘istoric”, but in the Real America, we pronounce it “a his-tor-ic”. Because History is “His Story”; we all learned that in Sunday School.
Well, maybe that was just a typo. Maybe I’ll read one more word:
…renaissance
OK, that proves it. This is a hoax of some sort.
Sarah,
I am inclined to give this only a marginally passing grade, and only because this is your first effort. While one could argue that it deserves an “E” for “earnestness,” the lack of care given to the text as a whole sharply diminishes even that overly positive assessment.
Among other faults, your essay suffers from lapses in logic and a troubling lack of detail, as well as errors of simple carelessness such as missing punctuation and conjunctions where they do not belong. Portions of the answers provided in the FAQ section are non-responsive to the questions (for example, the first line of your response to the third question).
Please note that further submissions failing to offer clear evidence of careful proofreading and deeper reflection upon the content you wish to convey will NOT be accepted.
See me after class if you wish to discuss.
that is one ugly site. does everything in Alaska have to be dreary or mismatched or sub-standard?
Mazement: No hoax. If you’re every given money to the Republican Party, you’ve already gotten something in the mail begging for contributions.
SarahPAC: because the porkbarrel can NEVAR be too deep.
“Gov. Palin has fought for reform and transparency in government.”
Well, yeah - that, & the whole free-houses-for-Governors program … reform & transparency, as long as it’s someone ELSE being investigated.
“During her tenure, she reduced property tax levels while increasing services and made Wasilla a business friendly environment, drawing in new industry.”
A new crystal dawn!
Meth labs for America!
*wink*
For your consideration, Sarah Palin presents the Lake Agassiz Economic Stimulus Package:
1. Glaciers melt (thank you, global warming!)
2. Giant lake forms in northern plains
3. ???
4. Profit!!!
(This is usually taught in Vacation Bible School with the video, “When Barney the Dinosaur Met Jesus.”)
Scarab: It IS a code: No Hawaii = Nobama.
Mazement:
This must be the handy work of the “Onion”.
I’ll contribute to SarahPac! …. as long as it involves “SarahPack your bags”.
Call Neimans and Saks
Moose Mama’s got stacks
Fuck the MSM hacks
Caribou Barbie’s back !!!!
is it just me, or does the logo appear to resemble two dudes having teh buttsecks?
(had forgotten that Florida’s dong looks just like Alaska’s dong. Thanks, SarahPAC!)
This dumb beast thinks she actually has a shot at future greatness. Bring it on, Sista!
Has she stated who she will appoint to the senate in case something unfortunate happens to an Alaskan senator?
magic titty: We’re taking bets on what kind of death would be funniest.
My vote was stabbed by a tranny, and my friend tossed on the tranny should be Ted Haggard.
Someone else said trampled by a moose. There is so many great ones.
Sussemilch: That, or Palin has gone full Lex Luthor and has designs on creating the world’s largest freshwater impoundment that will freeze over for ex-First Hunk to Skidoo/snowmachine all over…
AngryBlakGuy: Yo, ABG! No Alaska-sized lake in the Midwest. Illinois is the lowest feet-above-sea-level of the Midwest states, and voted 62% for Obama. Need I say that, even with our low-level proclivities, we are 400-600 feet higher than Florida? Be careful what you wish for.
I’ll donate to the Sarah Twac, because she believes America’s best days are a a HEAD. So, if she’ll give me head, I’ll give $50. You other Wonketteers are free to underbid me, of course. I’ll just patiently stand in line, waiting for a better America.
Silly Wonkette.
The PAC in SarahPAC isn’t Political Action Committee, it’s Purses Accessories ‘n Clothes.