Wonkette
If you’ve wondered what the Washington Times might be doing for the next eight years, these selections from the oddball paper’s online store suggest the Moonie pamphlet will start offering all sorts of other stuff nobody wants, such as this President Bush Commemorative Cigar and W. Commemorative Book — a coffee-table sized shame-box apparently featuring washed-out pictures of Bush Junior grimacing and flinching as his henchmen actually ruined the world. Well hey, whatever it takes to keep our Liz Glover gainfully employed! [Washington Times' Bush Store]
Good grief!
This shit looks great, but I’d prefer the George Bush Commemorative Deficit Assfuck. Some goddamn house on Penn Ave in DC keeps buying into it.
Hey, Ken, as long as you’re reporting on the Bush Legacy for E-bay, could you tell us what percentage of his sticky note pad was left over?
I’m still waiting for my Bill Clinton Commemorative Cigar.
If only they were selling something I could place next to my Precious Moments Hugo Chavez figurine.
My father has a whole host of Bill Clinton cigar jokes, all of which are too filthy to reprint here.
stumpycuse: Keep waiting. He sells of all his shit to the Saudis, also. And also.
*…premium handjob Dominican Republic cigar, Sumatra wrapper with gold wax….*
Glad to see our foreign sweatshops are still in business.
$15 for a cigar, you can get Havanas for less than that.
Where’s the commemorative Official Gitmo Waterboarding Jug(tm) ?
I don’t blame Bushie, we all grimace when we think about his “legacy.”
OT, but man, I love Nate Silver:
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2009/01/obama-more-political-capital-than.html
Watch a Republican’s head explode by comparing Obama to Reagan, and Obama WINS! I think the troll “Rose” at 538 is a fake. No one can be that fuckin stupid and be able to type.
@Ken Layne:
Contest! Contest! Contest!
Ask us all for suggestions for Shrub memorabilia. Top winners get, er, hmmm… to keep their job? Federal bailout? Personal zipcode in New Hooverville, USA?
My entry for Shrub memorabilia:
GWB Chia Pet Head (there’s enough s*** inside to fertilize it forever)
>Ken Layne:
Contest! Contest! Contest!
Ask us all for suggestions for Shrub memorabilia. Top winners get, er, hmmm… to keep their job? Federal bailout? Personal zipcode in New Hooverville, USA?
My entry for Shrub memorabilia:
GWB Chia Pet Head (there’s enough s*** inside to fertilize it forever)
This must be more of that “liberal media” I keep hearing about.
I would like to purchase some official George W. Bush urinal cakes.
memzilla: Two words for you. Nancy. Reagan.
shortsshortsshorts: Sorry Shorts, it’s operator head space error on my side. Eye Dee Ten Tee issue.
As pictured below:
– for sale, an official George W. Bush commemorative Iraqi WMD.
Bidding starts at 3 trillion dollars.
memzilla: Declare war on it and put on a diaper to make sure it kills itself before you are indicted.
sppeterson: Oscar best picture award.
While I appreciate the alt-text suggestion, if they used Laura as a humidifier, it would explain that weird smile of hers.
Of course, W would probably prefer Condi.
Nobody wants this shit. I’ll bet Laura won’t even let any of this crap into her house.
Slogan: Enough shit to choke an elephant.
I can’t believe they have a Dubya commemorative book. And by “book,” they mean a collection of asswipes. I feel a slight vindication in doing with Alberto Gonzales’ resume what hundreds of law firm partners did with it.
Does the cigar explode?
allainjules: We are in accord with you. Are you in France? When Bush comes to visit you, please arrest him under the law of universal jurisdiction. This is what the US did to Chucky Taylor when he flew to the US, and he’s now facing a federal court in Miami for violating the Geneva Conventions. Cuz ya know, the US respects the Geneva Conventions and all.
http://www.amnestyusa.org/international_justice/pdf/UniversalJurisdiction.pdf
JohnnyMeatworth: Maybe. You use it to smoke da Bushies out of der holes!
The cigar is available at http://www.georgewbushstore.com/line_commemorative.htm. Also available is a fine selection of whiskey tumblers and decanters. Perfect for toasting your favorite recovering alcoholic.
…keep joking and laughing people! Because this is the only shit you are going to be able to afford once it hits .69 cent clearance rack!!! So I hope you are prepare to have to see his face everytime you eat off a plate or reach for a mug during the “Obama” depression!
…why don’t they ship all this crap to the mid-east, I hear the effigy business is really booming!
Can I send back the Bush Commemmorative Dildo - it was defective….
I would buy the book simply to read all the chapters about brush clearing. I’m a big fan of yard work.
What the hell would I do with a Bush cigar? I’d rather have a Bill Clinton Commemorative cigar because it tastes like Monica Lewinsky’s vagina.
What, no GWB commemorative turd?
Still waiting for my commemorative W-shaped dildo so I can truly celebrate the assfucking he’s given this country. Triple pronged, even.
“Well hey, whatever it takes to keep our Liz Glover painfully employed!
/*fixed
Heartless bastards, wishing ill upon your poor, erstwhile intern. Liz’ll see to it that you never taste sushi, ever again.
if i smoke a george w. bush commemorative cigar, does that mean i get to watch dubya’s face burn? cuz that would be awesome.
While they last!
Luxurious poly-fleece house slippers. The right slipper is emblazoned with a fine portrait of our great 43rd President; the left with an appropriately hooded portrait of Muntadher al-Zaidi.
So comfortable, you’ll never toss ‘em.
Available in black, blue, red. Steel-toe and children’s sizes also available!
What they don’t tell you is that the cigar leaves were hand picked by Rush’s personal stable of Dominican Republic child prostitutes.
I’m interested in the Bush-Saudi-Bin Laden family souvenir postcard collection…
What, no commemorative pretzels? Condi music box? Space diapers? Anthrax spores? Land mine ash trays? Very disappointing. They’re ignoring all the real highlights of the last 8 years.
Also! Now accepting bids for a 4 year Vacation with W in Northern Paraguay package! Bids start at $857,560,211.99.
This is probably about the time Laura B. is undergoing a meltdown of rage in the new TX lair. I imagine her having screaming fit after screaming fit, throwing every shoe she has in her closet. If she doesn’t she’ll turn into Pat Nixon who utterly imploded.
I wish they were selling those like two weeks ago. I would have bought the cigar to smoke it last Tuesday around noon. Better to commerate the Bush presidency in the past tense than to live through it in the present. The coffee table book sounds like a treasure trove of unintentional comedy. I look forward to buying it at a garage sale for nickel in 2025.
I want a case of commemorative GWB toilet paper to watch go down the crapper like my money, job, family, girlfriend, car, dog and drug dealer.
rocktonsammy: Don’t worry dood. I use the same guy and he’s doing fine.
Does that cigar have smegma on it? If not, I am not innarested.
NEW! FROM THE WASHINGTON TIMES! HURRY! LIMITED TIME! LIMITED STOCK!
CALL NOW FOR THE AUTHENTIC GEORGE W. BUSH WATERBOARDING KIT!
GREAT FOR PARTIES, WEDDINGS, BAR MITZVAHS, CONFIRMATIONS, AND ALL OF YOUR PARTY NEEDS!
THE GEORGE W. BUSH WATERBOARDING KIT COMES COMPLETE WITH WATERBOARD, BENCH, RESTRAINTS, WHIPS–AND TEN BOTTLES OF POLLUTED WATER TAINTED BY EIGHT YEARS OF NO ACTION TAKEN ON ENVIRONMENTAL POLICIES!
CALL NOW, AND YOU’LL GET THE OFFICIAL GUANTANAMO BAY COLORING BOOK!
ONLY $19.99!!! WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!
**the george w. bush waterboarding kit and the guantanamo bay coloring book are co-produced by Ronco and The Franklin Mint.
Commemorative cigar? Because we haven’t smoked the proverbial dick of Dubya long enough?
InsidiousTuna: “My father has a whole host of Bill Clinton cigar jokes, all of which are too filthy to reprint here.”
Is that even possible?
The Bill Clinton cigar is much more likely to put a smile on your face. I’m sure the Bush version has more of an unattractive smirking effect.
TexasCowGirl: Actually, I can picture W happily smoking W cigars and reading W picture books all day.
shanemacgowan: “Recovering”?…. LOL!…ROTFLMAO…