White House Emails Es Broked

  our flourishing techmologies

Sorry dudes all the resumes you sent to the White House this morning were not received, because George Bush broke the emails before he left office. Jesus, nothing in the White House works, nothing! They have to send communications to each other through pneumatic tubes, as was popular in the 50s, and Barack Obama talks on a giant phone when he is not trying to master the mimeograph machine. [YouTube]

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

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27 comments

  1. actor212

    The Republicans always were trying to take us back to the good ol’ days. I hear they even re-opened the White House stables so they could park their carriages.

  2. Reefpilot

    [re=228664]actor212[/re]:

    The carriage house being part and parcel to the slave quarters. Another aspect of the Republican past they miss so dearly.

  3. loquaciousmusic

    BREAKING NEWS: Obama’s tech team has hired Strong Bad, so all White House e-mail should be operational by this evening.

  4. you cannot be serious

    Nothing makes a pop quiz go down easier than the sweet sweet smell of fresh mimeo ink. aaaahh.

  5. Sassette

    [re=228669]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I would pay cash money if they started producing videos of StrongBad answering White House e-mail. We could save the economy that way!

  6. OffTheRecord

    The fact that the Obama staffers have to use PCs instead of their elitist Mac Books actually makes me genuinely sad for them. Can’t we buy them new computers? C’mon. It really wouldn’t add that much to the national debt.

  7. wheelie

    I guess this explains why the White House did not get back to me on that cute LOLcat I fwded them. I mean, who doesn’t love that stuff? I better send it to them again.

  8. jetjaguar

    “mimeograph machine?” damnit Wonkette, I don’t come here to learn new words, so I’ll just assume that that has something to do with time travel

  9. populucious

    [re=228672]you cannot be serious[/re]: Oh yeah…you know that’s why they’ve kept that thing around, don’t you? All our White House staff are addicted to huffing that sweet purple ink.

  10. Pat Pending

    [re=228669]loquaciousmusic[/re]: They gots the Compy 386 in da house! Rousing game of Trogdor anyone??

  11. sati demise

    [re=228678]OffTheRecord[/re]: once you go mac you never go back.

    Unless forced to by the government, ho-hum.

  12. WIDTAP

    [re=228761]Pat Pending[/re]: Every White House staff member should have a luggable like the Compaq 386. Oh the memories of those business trips!

  13. President Beeblebrox

    [re=228761]Pat Pending[/re]: Any of the Videlectrix games will do. I was thinking Thy Dungeonman or Vector Strong Bad. Your head a splode.

  14. cal

    Wait, no one has posted this?

    Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert

  15. recharged95

    [re=228678]OffTheRecord[/re]: Why buy new computers when they could go to the Starbucks across the street and borrow the Mac from that lonely Obamafanatic who likely lost his job(what else to be in Starbucks at 2:30p?). Then they can be in element, drink coffee and look productive with the rest of us as they send a SMS to Barry’s BB.

  16. problemwithcaring

    When will you upstarts learn how DC works? Instead of wishing for fancy iMacs to get fancy emails and such, they should be napping at their desks in the Executive Office building.

    Fucking THING SUCKS!!

  17. dasNeonlicht

    Fantastic comment from the link to the NBC Washington story:

    “What kind of garbage is this? Who does Sara Smith work for that she tells everyone in the world what kind of technology that the president uses. Any terrorists who want to infiltrate the White House now have all the technical information they need to hack in or control the White House systems. Way to go, sending security down the tubes.”

    Way to go, indeed, Sara, you traitor.

  18. OzoneTom

    Man, “pneumatic tubes” that woudl be a good enough reason to want to work in the administration. When I was a kid growing-up in California there was a store downrown with those things. Ironically it was called “The White House”. I used to try to get my mom to buy my blue jeans there when back-to-school shopping, just in the hopes that they would use them at some point in our transaction.

Comments are closed.