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Here is some footage of Rod Blagojevich being crazy all over the place. How fantastic is it that this egomaniacal kook has run circles around such very important and serious men as Barack Obama, Harry Reid, and Patrick Fitzgerald, simply by pulling a series of comically weird political stunts that seemed too tasteless and bizarre to be real?
The Illinois governor didn’t go to his impeachment trial today, because it was all rigged anyhow, so instead he went on every talk show ever invented. This is American justice in action! Rod Blagojevich is like Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, all at the same time, with extra hair. He is also like Gary Cooper. And like Franklin Roosevelt when Pearl Harbor happened, except different, because Blago didn’t expect to be bombed by the dirty Japanese. He is a National Treasure, like Nancy Reagan, if Nancy Reagan said “fuck” a lot.
Blagojevich: ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’ [MSNBC]
Get this guy his own reality show STAT!
He’s better than Anna Nicole Smith.
Just fucking say no.
Ah, the smell of duty. Also, ZOMG, THE HAIR THAT ATE CHICAGO!
He and Palin are so doing it.
I heard Bono is re-writing “Pride (In the Name of Love)” to include Blago’s plight.
Rod Blagojevich, the absentee impeachee governor of Illinois, is in New York City today, trying to….
Well, I’m not quite sure what he’s trying to do. Drum up sympathy? Maybe, altho it’s really hard for me to feel sympathetic to such a monstrous creation of the Daley political machine as Blago.
State his case?
Well, I’m not sure he’s being particularly successful in doing much more than making an utter ass of himself. To-wit:
Illinois’ beleaguered Gov. Rod Blagojevich said today that when he was deciding who would take President Obama’s Senate seat he considered appointing talk show queen Oprah Winfrey.
Um, hmm. Is he seriously suggesting that Oprah might want to bail him out of this jam, or else face the music from her audience and the press over “pay for play” accusations? There’s certainly an underlying nuance to this.
And then there’s this:
Blagojevich, wearing a blue ivy league shirt, told NBC’s Amy Robach that he has not prepared mentally for possibly going to prison. The impeachment was triggered by Blagojevich’s Dec. 9 arrest on criminal charges, including trying to auction off President Obama’s vacant senate seat.
As Dec. 9 unfolded, Blagojevich told NBC, “I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now.”
Blagojevich is not going to participate in his defense because he says the rules are rigged against him. He will not be in Springfield for his trial; instead he will be doing nationally televised interviews.
Even as we speak, Bono is re-writing “Pride (In The Name Of Love)” to include the following stanza:
One man caught on a hidden wire tape
One man he did slip
Free at last, they took your seat
But they could not take your hairrrr!
Eh, crap. I mean to edit that better. Sorry.
Well, if Blago insists on a very public hearing of his (lost) cause, we could all twitter guilty/not guilty. Assuming the inevitable guilty verdict, a public beheading, or at least, a buzzcut, would be in order. No?
Hair, Today. Gone tomorrow.
Today asks me why
I’m just a corrupt guy
I’m hairy noon and night
Hair that’s a fright
I’m hairy high and low
Don’t ask me why
Don’t know
It’s not for lack of reason
They’re bombing Pearl Harbor
Darling
Gimme head with hair
Bulbous freaky hair
Shining, gleaming,
Scheming, craven, insane
Give me that crazy poofy hair
Senator strength or richer
Here Rahm, there Obama
Everywhere Taint Taint Taint Taint
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Puff it, blow it
Long as I can steal it
My hair
He can come to New York and run against that blind governor who spit on Caroline Kennedy.
Darehead: He could donate it to the State of Illinois as a hairloom.
Good to see that the respectable estalishment collective of national journalists are still eager to give a bullhorn to the craziest mofo in the room. I believe the appropriate term for this is enabling.
Careful with those Gandhi, MLK, and Mandela references Rod. They all did jail time. Somehow I see grey bars in your future as well. Sadly I don’t think you’ll come out of it as a revered spiritual and political leader. I think it has something to do with the fact that there’s no great positive social outcry or religious schism over letting lacquer haired morons loot government for all its worth.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Well, at least he never used bad language when women were around. That makes everything OK!
That anchor-lady is Hawt!
&c.
Anonymous Office Zombie: I might have to run for governor, go corrupt, and get caught if it means I get an eight minute interview from that cutie.
Blago is a maniacal genius. You’ve really gotta hand it to him. He never ceases to amaze me. I mean, if you’re gonna go down, you might as well go down in burning flames of hellfire glory, and that’s just what he’s doing. Go Blaog, go! No man with so little forehead has balls the size of yours. You don’t FUCK with Blago. FUCK!
Also.
Nancy Reagan doesn’t say “fuck” a lot?
That means . . . I thought that Adam’s apple was suspicious . . .
Furthur.
Surfs-By: JadedDIssonance: She has great fucking hair. And nice fucking eyes.
Momentary threadjack to encourage Wonketeers to visit the blog of Tenn. State Rep Susan Lyon; she is one of two Repub female reps to complain new Speaker Kent Williams–you know, the Repub who voted along with 49 Dems to make himself speaker–sexually harassed her two years ago, by saying he’d make great sacrifices to see her naked. She’s spent the last couple weeks explaining how she didn’t turn Williams in and it has nothing to do with the speaker vote. http://www.susan-lynn.blogspot.com/ That is all.
Good lord! Will one of these knucklehed “reporters” PLEASE point out that the impeachment trial is not about innocence vs. guilt, but whether or not he is fit to govern? GAH!
At least Babs Walter (yes, I watched it!) asked him repeatedly to admit if he said those things on tape. Questions which of course he dodged.
Hubris knows no bounds. It’s clear if he wasn’t a politician he would be an investment banker.
And what about Jesus.
He suffered.
He was abandoned by his friends.
Well, except for the crucifixion.
Man, I love the Blaginator. I work with a bunch of people who live in Illinois and they always make fun of St Louis/Missouri politics. So this is a nice change of pace.
NoWireHangers: Absolutely. I am in awe. Sometimes it pops into my head to do really inappropriate, socially transgressive things just to see how people would react. Of course I’m too much of a wimp to actually do it…but not Blago, man. He just gets better and better.
actor212: Well, I’m not quite sure what he’s trying to do. He is trying to go down in flames. Which is the opposite of slinking off to prison. Think of it as a kind of existentialism, with hair.
I call trial by ordeal. Blago must eat enough human hair to equal that of his own to prove his innocence.
Surfs-By:
Hey, milk it for everything it’s worth. Who wouldn’t when the infotainment circus is offering free rides, a chance at a free get-out-of-jail card and a date with her?
I’m putting money on him claiming double Jeopardy when Fitzgerald indicts him on the grounds that he’s already been impeached. Of course that’s just for starters — I’m sure he’s got some really spectacular stunts queued up after that.
ManchuCandidate: Well done, sir/ma’am. Well done.
REMEMBER: when Blago goes out, the Illinois legislature will finally have its way and your income tax will be 66% HIGHER. BLAGO WILL SAVE YOU THOUGH. HAVE FAITH.
he should took the talk show they offered him to get the da fuck out of town! Blago Bighair is starting look scrumptous with his hnadsome feathered frock all over my teevee everywhere I turn! Is teh gov’tment tryna trick me into luvin him?
And like a treasure, he ought to be buried.
rev_matt_y: At least we didn’t elect a dead guy…
cal: Blago of Love, this summer on Bravo: watch what happens!
cal: God yes! Blago would even surpass wacky British MP George Galloway on (the still relevant in the UK) Big Brother (in which “He was seen dancing in a leotard…and imitating a cat drinking milk”)…
magic titty: My thoughts exactly. He is decidedly on the bus.
Blagojevich got that way by eating a Croat for breakfast four times a week. What the vacuous reporter’s excuse is, I dunno, but she seemed to have no problem keeping a straight face around Blago, which is usually a sign of a developmental disorder. How appropriate for Rod that the show’s co-host was Meredith Viera, hostess of “Do You Want To Be a Millionaire?”! Finding edible Croats is getting more and more expensive, and mousse, like so many other petroleum-based products, has gotten much more dear, so Rod must continue to explore new revenue streams. It takes dough to be the Ed Vrdolyak of the 21st century and to yearn for the ultimate Serbian-American luxury: a vowel implant.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/opinion/26kristol.html?_r=2&ref=opinion
“This is William Kristol’s last column.”
Man! This isn’t even worth a post, so it can stay in the comments, or should at least.
gjdodger: Oh, great. Now I’m obsessed by that case. Like I’ve got time for another distraction in my life. Why don’t you just strap on cardboard wings and fly yourself straight to hell.
pondscum: Or Kit Bond, who is worse.
No one is more happy about this than me. also.
-SP
It’s really cute when he says “When I have my day in court–”
Next, Patti and Rod on Dr. Phil: “When Separate Federal Trials Divide A Marriage.”
Big Rod here is a real inspiration. So y’know, I think I am going to fight that parking ticket, after all. I’ll say, “Judge, when I came back to my car to see that ticket stuck under the windshield and the cop walking away, I thought of Christ and I thought of that cop as Pilate. Please don’t make me pay this. I’ll even miss another day of work if I have to return to court, but I think we all understand who the real victim here is. Please don’t crucify me again. The officer has already done that.”
You know, my favorite part of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is where Jimmy Stewart extorts money from a children’s hospital. I always tear up at that scene.
if he’s truly innocent he should bet his hair on it; the fate of that glorious creature is something the country could really get up off the couch over.
Screw The Senate, Blago Takes His Case To The People:
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/01/screw-senate-blagos-takin-his-case-to_26.html
Okay, I usually talk to Mother Teresa in my dreams (yeah, mostly she’s chastising me for callous deep night deeds , but still…) and she said of Blago: “Burn that hairy little twit…”
Don’t go to bed, with no price on your head
No, no, don’t do it.
Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time,
Yeah, don’t do it.
And keep your eye on the sparrow.
When the going gets narrow.
Don’t do it, don’t do it.
Where can I go where the cold winds don’t blow,
Now.
Well, well, well…
Don’t do it!
And like Charles Bronson—they have the same hairline.
People ask me everywhere
“Is that really all your hair?”
I just tell `em, “If it ain’t
Then it sure don’t mean
That now I can’t”
I just don’t believe it’s fair
To judge a man by the length of his hair
Take two words like “hip” and “square”
The truth will shine and not your hair
Even the blind can almost see
What’s outside you and inside me
Down or high, truth or lie
A weak man’s laugh can be
A strong man’s cry
Black or blonde or nappy or fair -
You can’t judge nobody by hair
If I thought that you would care
I’d wear a wig up under my hair
Down or high, truth or lie
A weak man’s laugh can be
A strong man’s cry
Colander: A big YES to Blago of Love. I suggest Ann Coulter for the Brigitte Nielsen role. The first episode: Foul-mouthed Mrs. Blago interrupts The Rod and Mann in the afterglow of their first mating … and the hair flies.