Wonkette
Can you BELIEVE that terrible Nancy Pelosi, suggesting that contraception, i.e. the thwarting of God’s will through the use of hormones and latex derivatives, prevents babies, who generally cost more money than not having babies? It is verily a shameful sin unto the Lord! Sixteen bazillion Drudge sirens for this whore of Babylon and her radical leftist insinuations. The TRUE FACT is that babies fart out dollar bills for their first 6-9 months, more than compensating for their parents’ lost wages plus health care plus extra food and $700 strollers and car seats and whatever. A responsible fiscal stimulus package would compel every woman over the age of 14 to have ten babies before 2011. [Drudge Report]
Since no self respecting woman will have sex with me, I refuse to be concerned about this story.
But if only the smart people listen to Pelousy then only the TruckNutz will have babies (and who wants that?)
The whole matter of whether contraception helps or hurts the economy is irrelevant. The simple fact is that pregnancy is God’s punishment to little hussies for being little hussies. Nothing teaches a vile tramp the evil of her ways better than a kid she can’t afford to feed, growing up in poverty, with a series of abusive boyfriends/step-fathers who, winds up to a petty criminal and is sent to jail after being caught on tape robbing a 7/11.
Thanks to the reinstatement of stem-cell research, Nancy just might get that new spine…if Obama doesn’t run her over with the Imperial Cruiser first.
Well, perhaps we should cut the proverbial baby in half. Since abortions cost more than condoms or pills they should become a default method of birth control. That way we get the most economic stimulus bang for our god-hating buck. Government funded abortions for all — or the economy gets it!
She’s a goddess….just check her and rahm cuddling together here:
http://www.theweeklydonut.com/index.php/2009/01/23/rahm-n-nancy/
Serolf Divad: The shareholders of your local private prison thank you for your moral rectitude. Mandatory minimums 4EVAH!
Serolf Divad:
Wow. Someone you know?
DoD: Ah! Rahm-bone from behind!
More poor American white babies means more hobos to fight in the HoboWarz*. Being able to afford to feed them will only make them LESS SAVAGE, and who wants that? This Polozi lady is TruckNutz incarnate.
*black people cant afford the primo abortions like Real People can
Could Drudge have possibly found a less attractive picture? She looks like she’s she just ate babies in that shot…
If Americans waited to have children until they could afford it, the population of the country would swiftly drop off by 95%. I always say I won’t have kids until I can afford it, and my mother cries for grandbabies knowing full well that my uterus will be dry before that happens.
I could listen to Pelosi better if she’d put some flesh on her skull, for fuck’s sake.
In the future, this will be known as the Pelosism vs. Palinism debate. To breed or not to breed, that is the great question of the New Depression.
Servo:
Yeah… my mom.
NoWireHangers:
A lot of problems would be quickly fixed with a reduction in births and letting old fucks just die.
Not having babies saves the consumer money. Having babies means the consumer buys more stuff like diapers, strained apricots, and Hummer-esque strollers. So, wouldn’t a stimulus package actually be contraception averse?
I remember changing my daughter’s first diaper ever, and finding a leprechaun’s gold in there that helped pay her college tuition, 18 years later.
Serolf Divad: That’s a little unfair…when I fucked her she was still in her prime.
Sure contraception is good, otherwise there’s a blogger born every minute.
So, wouldn’t a stimulus package actually be contraception averse?
You’d need to encourage people to use LOTS AND LOTS of condoms to make up for it. Oh, and the Republicans can make up the Papmpers shortfall by buying more diapers for themselves.
Give Drudge credit. He is doing his part by never participating in any activity that could lead to the production of a human child.
LOTS AND LOTS of condoms
Pizza and booze, also.
Sound economic policy. Condoms are made in America. Birth control pills are made in America. Strollers are made in China, or in Italy is you intend on pushing a white baby to Montessori.
Min: Also. Getting 14-year olds pregnant keeps them barefoot and off the street, so fewer shoes will be thrown, and fewer skin-tight $300 designer jeans will be sold.
Min: Yeah, you do have a point. I think maybe this really is just the Dems slipping funding for contraception into the bill. Not that I have a problem with that, but you would think that more spending would be good. Actually, I think Pelosi’s point was that when po’ folks pop out brats the state pays for it through things like WIC, and kids healthcare and other stuff and the states are broke so po’ folks should wear rubbers. Now it makes sense.
To extend the Krugman analogy, if we taught pilots to fly the same way we teach kids about procreation, we’d sit them down in a classroom, tell them that flying is a mysterious and beautiful thing that they should only do it when God says they’re ready, and then put ‘em behind the yoke of a 747. And if they’re able to land the thing in one piece, give them a tax cut.
My eight month old has yet to fart out money. Am I doing something wrong? I could really use the cash right now.
actor212: Not only that, my car runs on a mother’s love and my house is heated with the adorable coos and smiles of my 7 month old.
No wonder the Duggars have 18 kids and counting.
Min: Not at all. Not having babies allows consumers to spend our money on American-produced porn and alcohol. Most of the shit we buy for babies is made in China. USA! USA!
SayItWithWookies:
LOL, but what does buttfucking represent in that analogy?
…I wonder how long before kids can abortions in the school nurses office?!
Why does Nancy Pelosi hate my freedom to have 57 babies by 43 women. My meth lab makes more than enough to support them all. Plus, unlike San Fran values Pelosi, my babies are all good evalgelical Christians who will only have virginity perserving butt sex until they are married.
Serolf Divad: Sometimes it all works out. Within my own circle of friends are four, count ‘em, four reasonably affluent and well-educated and infertile couples (OK, one of them is a lesbian couple, so, by default…)
Anyhoo, they have all adopted perfectly lovely little white babies (and one Korean baby) with all the correct parts and everything. So the trampy little tramps get to have their trampy sex and the nice infertile married and/or otherwise committed couples get their babies! Win-win. Hopefully, the adopted kids grow up in more nurturing environment, resulting in better reproductive choices than their moms, and reverse the atavistic slide that brought them into this world. In which case, Win-win-win.
Yes You Can Own A Piece of History: Doing something wrong? I don’t know. You’re probably allowing your baby to still be breastfed. If so you are a Nazi.
Has anyone told Drudge that women can create eggs but they don’t lay them?
Am I doing something wrong?
It’s possible. Did you make sure one of the parents is fabulously wealthy? That’s an important step before leasing a baby.
SayItWithWookies: for Secretary of Transportation!
What a doofus. I think we should give Siren Boy and all the ugly old white men some babies to care for, then take away all their money, and maybe they’ll start to “get” abortion.
Eff them. Of course, abortion is another one of those bright shiny object issues to keep people distracted while greedy pigs rob us blind.
it is a patriotic duty to have a least five children (the last at an age where it is high risk of being downs syndrome) drag them out of school and around the country to use as political stage props, and give them sled dog names.
A responsible fiscal stimulus package would compel every woman over the age of 14 to have ten babies before 2011.
And we call this the Palin Effect except the Palin’s dont need no stinkin stimulus check.
Yes, a better economic plan vis-a-vis children is to go full-Duggar - that way we’ll have enough minimum wage hobos to be to satisfy China before it just straight buys Manhattan for 1 Yuan on the steps of the Supreme Court after the national debt comes due.
Serolf Divad: Contraception bad, libtard. Jails provide jobs.
Servo: He speaks of someone we all know.
ManchuCandidate: That’s where you promise not to pilot a plane until God tells you to, then you tie fifty helium balloons to your lawnchair and float to Dubuque.
HMS Nerd: The phrase go full-Duggar made me snort. However, the idea is something to which my vagina strongly objects.
An American in Toronto: My house has alternative energy sources. It’s heated by the smell of freshly baked tollhouse cookies.
Mr Blifil: Not still breastfeeding. She is raised on an American diet of Gerber’s Turkey Sticks for Tots and diet coke. She did poop out something green yesterday, but it wasn’t money.
SayItWithWookies: Ugh, you just reminded me of the latest PIxar trailer. What the fuck happened over there?
My biological clock has been shrieking at me for the past year or so, and now baby fever has followed me to Wonkette. Grr.
I’m cool with other people not having the bebes, but will someone, knock me up, please…?
Yes You Can Own A Piece of History: In that case, carry on. You sound like a patriot.
S.Luggo: Seriously, the Prison-Industrial complex FTW.
Monsieur Grumpe:
Drudge’s last experience with a women’s reproductive system was seeing a filmstrip in health class in junior high school.
will someone, knock me up, please…?
Sure, just sign the waiver.
NoWireHangers: Using clothing as protection is a cost effective way to block a baby blaster
Dudge & Coulter. Your source for knowledge of all things infant.
PerhapsSo: You can have my kid or $50 and a dozen boxes of those 100 calorie Twinkie packs I can’t get here in the Great White North.
An American in Toronto: Dammit, FOR $50, not or.
chascates: No less reliable than getting your sex ed from the Pope, I guess.
Mr Blifil: They’re not doing a Lawn Chair Larry movie are they? Do they know the dude offed himself a few years later? The kids will love that.
http://www.abovethelaw.com/images/entries/animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20animated%20siren%20gif%20drudge%20report.GIF
Don’t forget folks, having babies are free if you have more than 10 of them (a few of being “-tuplets” and get a reality show deal and sponsorships.
Schadenfried: Personally, I think they ought to slap stickers on the kids like on the cars in NASCAR.
Yes You Can Own A Piece of History: Gerber’s too healthy! How is she going to pump money into the healthcare system without a diet including melamine????
without a diet including melamine????
Always buy your babies melamine supplements if you don’t hate America.
Why do conservative gay men (the Catholic Church and Drudge) hate birth control? Are they jealous?
CankleBiter: I find it touching that a Wonketeer would even mention the notion of sex with a “self-respecting” woman. Your comment should have been awarded a Blingie.
I think Pelosi is just basing her statements on that well known anti-population tract, “Idiocracy.”
SayItWithWookies: No I’m talking about this cloying bullshit:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/up/
actor212: Have you seen the jars of turkey sticks floating in water? There’s got to be some melamine in there somewhere. That shit is evil.
An American in Toronto: Damn, dude, I thought you were offering me Twinkies. We have sort of a cream-filled theme going here.
of course, if it were viagra included in the stimulus all the shitty republicans would have no problem voting it in….
only in america do we let dicks create policy
Hooray For Anything: Unfortunately, it’s such a tried and true formula that it’s hard NOT to invoke it during Senate sessions.
Lascauxcaveman: True, except nobody wants to adopt the little black, Hispanic, and mixed-race kids. Also, no kids of any color over two years of age who have been abused and are left with behavioral problems, learning disabilities, and emotional retardation, which is something like 88% of the kids currently in the American foster care system.
And yes, I realize that you weren’t being entirely serious, but this is one of my only soapboxes.
Yes You Can Own A Piece of History: I’ll believe it when China bans it!
suths: “I swear, I didn’t mean to policy all over her face, but I didn’t pull out fast enough.”
Yes You Can Own A Piece of History - The baby is smarter than you think. A properly misfed toddler can fill an entire house full of methane each day, which is more valuable than that crazy paper currency.
I’ve been making a TON of cash knocking up chicks and selling babies to arabs so shut the fuck up
Well, children ARE our futures.
Impeachment is off the table.
What’s more depressing than seeing some old hag at your work knocked up with her 1st child cuz now her and her viagra induced balding husband can now afford one? Yuck, get image of old ass preppies doing teh buttsecks out of my mind! Contraception for everyone!!!
NoWireHangers: “…the population of the country would swiftly drop off by 95%.” And then we would be Italy. What’s wrong with that?
I wish my abortion clinic had a Starbucks…
Your tax dollars, fucktards. I’ve got dual citizenship. You’re paying for forced Chinese abortions, too, which is precisely where this is going. One ugly baby is too many for you mutants.