Oprah Narrowly Escaped The Taint!

 
  • Beloved Serbian leprechaun Rod Blagojevich went on Good Morning America instead of going to his corruption trial today, and talked about why Oprah would have made a good senator. [ABC News]
  • Barack Obama! Every day this guy issues more executive orders! This one will let the hippies in CA have the wondrously fuel-efficient cars they’ve been craving for years. [San Jose Mercury News]
  • A two-minute appeal for aid to Gaza will air on several British television stations, but not the BBC. This makes many BBC staffers very angry. [Guardian]
  • Yet another regional summit will convene in Africa to hammer out a power-sharing agreement in Zimbabwe. This process has been dragging on for almost literally a year, and Mugabe is still a dillweed. [Reuters]
  • A 14-year-old boy spent a whole day dressed as a cop, going around to traffic stops with an actual cop and generally doing things cops do, until he was caught. [Chicago Tribune]
  • Those Gazan children who are still alive went back to school today. [AHN]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

49 comments

  1. DoctorCulturae

    I do believe there is a special provision in the Geneva Convention that prevents the words “Oprah” and “taint” from appearing in the same sentence. At least before noon or breakfast whichever comes first.

  2. Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul

    The 14-year-old police from Chicago visited a public toilet and made lots of new friends including a myriad of middle-aged Republican officials and one George Michael.

  3. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Blago said something this morning about “fighting the political/industrial complex.” Wait… Illinois politics… influence peddling…what? Jesus Christ on a bicycle, I need an aspirin.

  4. Darehead

    Oprah can save Ill-annoyans and all of us from the political/industrial complex, the hang ‘em high cowboys, the Japs and the 14-year old cop impersonators. But can she save us from arugula?

  5. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    why Oprah would have made a good senator.

    Something to do with her immense wealth, I assume.

  6. Serolf Divad

    Thompson has said the corporation will not screen the DEC appeal because it could harm the BBC’s impartiality on the Gaza conflict.

    I know some of you will protest, but this move actually makes perfect sense. Let’s not forget that if a journalist sees a child running from a burning building with her clothes on fire, it is his journalistic duty to stand back and record her cries, screams and horrible, painful death. Any attempt to intervene, by, for instance, dousing the flames or stripping the child of the burning clothing that is melting and fusing to her seared flesh compromises his impartiality and the faithful objectivity with which he records the event. So I applaud the BBC directors who in pursuit of the greater journalistic good have decided to stand back and let the civilian population of Gaza suffer just a little bit longer.

  7. Dreamer

    On another topic (I know it is rude) – what is up with President Hopey picking a fight with Limbaugh. I thought Hopey was smarter than giving a notice to whatever the drug addled brain of Limbaugh cooks up. Why give any attention to that bigot and the crazy 12% that share his views.

  8. Clamps

    Rahm: Oh, I don’t know whether you know this or not, but you only have your fuckin’ governorship because I made that possible!

    Blago: I -

    Rahm: (Interrupting), I’m what counts out here! Not your fuckin’ country clubs or your fuckin’ TV shows! And what the fuck are you doin’ on TV anyhow?!

    Blago: What are you -

    Rahm: (Interrupting) You know I get calls from back home every fuckin’ day?! They think you went batshit!

    Blago: I’m only on TV because I gotta be in the public eye. You understand that. You know that. Come on.

    Rahm: Your fuckin’ ass! You could have had the food and beverage job without goin’ on television! You wanted to go on TV.

    Blago: Yeah, I did want to go on TV. That way I have a forum. I can fight back. I’m known. People see me. They know they can’t fuck around with me like they could if I was an unknown. That’s right.

    Rahm: You’re makin’ a big fuckin’ spectacle of yourself.

  9. DoctorCulturae

    [re=228296]Dreamer[/re]: Because he’s a virus in need of antibiotics. His listeners don’t share his views, but they are lured into lemmingville by his bluster. Also.

  10. publius

    [re=228295]4tehlulz[/re]: *SIGH* that’s what I get for being retarded. Maybe Blago will hire me as his replacement lawyer for teh trialz! I could use the extra scratch…

  11. publius

    [re=228299]Clamps[/re]: These conversations really do write themselves. They could be talking about ANYTHING, and Rahm would still revert to being Rahm and Blago would still try to make the conversation about him being on some kind of holy mission to save his career. With Poems, from some book.

  12. Terry

    [re=228287]publius[/re]:

    So, the Times decided to give up on including fiction writers in the Op/Ed section?

  13. Servo

    I know I’m probably going to get fragged for this but – Fuck Oprah! I had about enough of her Little Debbie vacuum telling everyone what to eat/wear/watch/read and who to admire. Oprah is all about Oprah. It takes one hell of an ego to put yourself on your magazine every month. She, Brad, and Angelina should all be stuffed into a cement mixer and cast into the deep blue abyss.

  14. mookworthjwilson

    [re=228320]Servo[/re]: No fraggation from me…I have always thought Oprah was nutin but a media whore…

  15. Serolf Divad

    [re=228315]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

    You know what opened my eyes to the true travesty that is the Israeli occupation? In college I attended a lecture given by an Israeli settler in the West Bank. Those nutcases are their own worst enemies. When I realized how insane they were I started researching the subject and getting myself educated on the true nature of the conflict and the occupation. ’till that time I had been your average pro-Israeli brainwashed, mainstream-media consumer. I think I see things trough more nuanced eyes, now.

  16. ManchuCandidate

    [re=228320]Servo[/re]:
    No citizen of UgoGirl here. Fuck yeah!

    Oprah doesn’t need Blaggy’s taint when she has “Dr.” Phil.

  17. Dreamer

    [re=228294]Serolf Divad[/re]: I see what you are saying and I hear the argument of the organizers but part of me actually thinks the BBC might have some points. To start with the Israeli apologists will claim the BBC is biased so why give them more ammunition. I think the BBC will do more for the cause if they report it instead of running an infomercial.

  18. Dreamer

    [re=228300]4tehlulz[/re]: [re=228301]DoctorCulturae[/re]: By mentioning Limbaugh Barry only gives that jackass a platform to create the meme President vs Limbaugh – I ask you who does that benefit?

  19. Serolf Divad

    [re=228373]Dreamer[/re]:

    To start with the Israeli apologists will claim the BBC is biased so why give them more ammunition.

    The problem is that they already do, and will continue to do so vociferously until the BBC becomes a propaganda organ for their side. The BBC cannot win that fight. All they can do is to do what’s right rather than worry about offending the people who targeted bomb shelters, schools and mosques packed with miserably poor civilians seeking shelter from their aerial bombardment.

  20. DustBowlBlues

    Didn’t need a reminder about Blago. I’ve worked hard to avoid looking at him and that hideous rag on top of his head, but it can’t be done. On opening, Safari on my mac goes to the Christian Science Monitor front page. A safe port from crap sensationalism, (present news source excepted) and what’s at the top of the page?

    BLAGO! There is no escaping. He’s like Xian Fundys in the Bible Belt. You can’t run, nor hide. If they get can’t hit you directly, they’ll find a way to fuck up your life.

  21. Dreamer

    [re=228378]Serolf Divad[/re]: I absolutely agree with you but I was just stating BBC’s reason for doing this. They did not want to give ammunition to the Israeli lobby groups. I am sick to death about the hypocrisy of accusing Sudan or charging Charles Taylor and Serb leaders with war crimes but Israel gets away with it all the time.

    Did any of you watch 60 Minutes last night?

  22. DustBowlBlues

    [re=228367]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yes, paying attention to a situation can sometimes have evil results. For instance, looking at the actual foundation of Israeli vs. sucking up the version from the movie “Exodus.” (Paul Newman– hottest zionist freedom fighter ever, btw). When one of my kids studied Middle Eastern politics in college, she called Israel an illegal state. Totally shocking! Finally, I began reading the CS Monitor and paying attention and blimey, she started making sense. Maybe the Holocaust doesn’t give a moral wash to anything the Israelis want to do.

    Believing the movie version is easier, however, than living in the fact-based reality where a few of us find ourselves. A friend who used to be equally critical of theocracies whatever their stripe (and therefore critical of Israel) has new Israeli friends and explained that she sort of gets it now, the bombing. (I’d criticized the phosphorus bombing of a school and the UN compound where the aid relief was stored) since one lady she knows has a sister in Tel Aviv and Hamas can get missiles to shoot that far. My friend would feel strongly about it, too, and want to bomb back.

    But it doesn’t work, I pointed out.

    The fact-based reality is that, for whatever faults of Hamas and the Palestinians for having a “free” election that didn’t turn out the way we intended (damn you, Palestinians@!11–shakes fist). The strategy of bombing and counter bombing doesn’t work–it just makes things worse.

    For Israel’s current offensive strategy to achieve the intended goal, eliminate Hamas, they are going to need more than a few phosphorus bombs, because they’re going to have to kill every man, woman and child in Palestine. And fabled Mossad is going to have hunt down and kill the entire Palestinian diaspora. They can’t afford to leave one child alive, because that kid will grow up wanting nothing but to kill the Jews and the people who live in the country that financed the carnage.

    Not to mention all the non-Palestinians who will swear to get even.

    The American political scene doesn’t help. You can’t stand up at any political event, Republican or Democrat, and say that, you know, maybe Palestinians should be treated as human beings. Before you know it, you’re denying the Holocaust denier someone is writing a check to the party that called you as much.

    We’ve been ignoring African wars and genocides for decades–how about applying a little of that apathy to the Middle Eastern Crisis? It couldn’t make things any worse.

  23. TGY

    Jail: Blagojevich should just parachute himself there. Though, of course, the guard dogs might have to be restrained during the process.

  24. S.Luggo

    BBC’s top management decided that promoting humanitarian aid is biased towards humans. Let’s respect that.

  25. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=228438]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I think you just said all Palestinians want to kill all Israelis.

  26. Lascauxcaveman

    Also, that 14-year-old kid has got his priorities screwed up. When I was his age, I was gathering up my green eyeshade, clipboard and “Official Bikini Inspector” T-shirt and heading down to the beach.

  27. ladymacbeth

    i said yesterday IL is legend with the corruption and the shenanigans and alaska is a b-list parvenu.

    i suspect i will be able to repeat this all day.

  28. BobLoblawLawBlog

    But I thought Oprah just went through a crack-smoking scandal. Doesn’t that mean she’s better suited to be Mayor of D.C.?

    And they want voting rights…

  29. JC

    I am sorry to disappoint the reader about the Christian Science Monitor, but while he didn’t rate an article on the website, ‘Bl ego javich’ did rate a photo in the Photos of the Day.

    Pray for our deliverance from all evil foreign or domestic.

Comments are closed.