CHRIST WILL KNOW HIS OWN  6:07 pm January 23, 2009

Conservative Wiki Offers Helpful List of Senate Democrats To Assassinate, So Republican Governors Can Appoint GOP Replacements

by Ken Layne

Once a wingnut, always a wingnut. (Actual slogan of Detroit Red Wings fanatics.)Americans, are you still letting your idiot kids do all their “research” from the liberal-propaganda pit of vipers known as the “Wikipedia,” which is filthy with scientific facts and frighteningly detailed Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia? Well stop it, now, and Porn Block every site that’s not Conservapedia, the home of conservative pedophiles “The Trustworthy Encyclopedia.” For example, say your home-schooled-in-Christ kid needs to do a report on which states would benefit from Dem senators who, tragically, “were unable to complete their terms and were replaced by qualified Republicans by their Republican governors.” Where to go? That homosexual devil box “Wikipedia” surely would be of no assistance, to Patriots!

Here is the actual entry, “Senate Democrats from States with Republican Governors”:
Kill 'em all.
Conservapedia

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 166 comments }

IceCreamEmpress January 23, 2009 at 6:11 pm

As if they’d like whoever Ahnuld named to replace those nice ladies!

Also, I was going to use “Kay Lastima” as my drag name, but now “Homosexual Devil Box” is calling to me. Decisions, decisions.

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I get all of my information from Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Tommmcatt January 23, 2009 at 6:12 pm

….Please, under no circumstances poision, shoot, hang, or otherwise render these legislators inert. Momma Phyllis begs you!

you cannot be serious January 23, 2009 at 6:13 pm

so — this a Dead Pool? Clint Eastwood will able to save them.

assistant/atlas January 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm

“Assissinate”? Like…turn them gay? But they’re already Democrats…

Min January 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm

I don’t see the word “assassination” in the text, but I can read it between the lines.

Jobbotch January 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Still with the “Barack Hussein Obama?” Really?

Internally valid January 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm

Oh noes! I had completely forgotten about Conservapedia. Now I have to wallow in anger for the next 3 hours as I read about how Obama “may be the first Muli[n] president”

assistant/atlas January 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm

And that joke would’ve worked a lot better had you not caught and corrected your mistake before that even posted…damn you and your eagle eyes, Ken Layne, damn you to ruined-joke hell.

Lazy Media January 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Hawai’i has a Republican governor? How the bejeebers did THAT transpire? And why hasn’t Obama fixed it?

mdotsota January 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Finally, a welcome oasis from the horrid librull bias of MarioWiki.

Jobbotch January 23, 2009 at 6:18 pm

I’m just sayin’, it’d be a shame if somethin’ happened to that nice Congressman a’yours. I’m just sayin’.

bitchincamaro January 23, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Mark Begich’s alt-text totally saved his sissy commie ass.

sevenrepeat January 23, 2009 at 6:18 pm

buttsecks doesn’t make you gay, but being a repub senator sure does.

madtowngooner January 23, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Hi, I’m [Insert Republican Governor's Name] and I approved of this assassination.

cal January 23, 2009 at 6:18 pm

I’m afraid to read the entry of Sarah Palin.

Does it mention trash bags?

chascates January 23, 2009 at 6:21 pm

So Connecticut doesn’t have a Republican governor? Oh wait, Liebermann is not a Socialist-type. Makes sense now. But. Daniel Inouye isn’t either. Now I’m confused.

Texan Bulldoggette January 23, 2009 at 6:22 pm

I feel a little like I felt when I watched Saxby Chambliss fondle his granddaughter’s boobage: a little queasy & wondering if someone should call the authorities. (But then I remembered, it’s okay when Republicans do it!)

Rodney Badger January 23, 2009 at 6:23 pm

For good times click on “Debate Topics” under popular links. For some serious philosophizing, I recommend several bong hits and then discussing these items with your high school friends in the Macy’s furniture department.

Giant Robot January 23, 2009 at 6:23 pm

The main page says to read their commandments before editing… you got that AngryBlakGuy?

ElRonaldo January 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm

They don’t need to be assissinated – they just need to go crazy. And all you have to do to send them crazy is ask them how many of the plurality that got them elected was voting for the least UNdesireable candidate. Voila! Nutz!

Ken Layne January 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=227539]assistant/atlas[/re]: You are Foiled. (But hello, WordPress, is there a reason spellcheck doesn’t work in the headline field, yet works fine everywhere else?)

madtowngooner January 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm

How come no one told me there was a real team called the Wingnuts? I’m movin’ to Wichita!

Toonces January 23, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Dumbasses. Alaska requires the appointed Senator be of the same political party. And not every state allows for appointment of Senators.

But why would they want to read the Constitution?

WadISay January 23, 2009 at 6:25 pm

“Republic governors” should cross-reference to the entry for “tree octopii”, which this thing once had, courtesy of some misanthropic wit.

Also, add Al Franken to that list, bitchz.

Rodney Badger January 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm

[re=227549]cal[/re]: No, but it did produce a Persiankitty.com pop up ad. That’s some targeted advertising right there.

mdotsota January 23, 2009 at 6:27 pm

[re=227549]cal[/re]: Not sure, but it probably mentions starbursts.

shortsshortsshorts January 23, 2009 at 6:30 pm

Whoever dug this up deserves 72 virgins (or raisins, depending on your translation of the Koran).

Mahousu January 23, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=227526]MisterLoki[/re]: The sad thing is that E.D. is the most accurate (and best written) of them all. And that’s not really a joke.

hobgoblin of little minds January 23, 2009 at 6:31 pm

From the “how conservapedia differs from wikipedia” section of this idiotic site:

“We do not allow liberal censorship of conservative facts. Wikipedia editors who are far more liberal than the American public frequently censor factual information.”

“Conservative facts”? What the fuck.

Also, the damn thing reads like a bunch of AOL commenters got together, snorted/mainlined some meth and decided to do a little typing on the interwebs. I’m surprised the “conservapedia” isn’t in all caps.

Edywin January 23, 2009 at 6:37 pm

From the homosexual devil box*:Chavez warms to Obama after insults…Drudge Report 1/23/09
Insults always make me smile, how about you?

( *This is neither casting doubt upon the sexual orientation of any webmiester mogul who leads the MSM around with threats of illicit photos of involvement in bisexual porn, nor does it indicate that any particular wannabe muckraker is actually a box.)

tunamelt January 23, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=227569]Mahousu[/re]: If you want to cure it, all you need is some Cialis.

bitchincamaro January 23, 2009 at 6:38 pm

Hobgoblin: If you can type “qualified Republicans”, you can certainly type “Conservative facts”.

mdotsota January 23, 2009 at 6:39 pm

[re=227571]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: Well, the American public voted for the Marxist Luo tribesman, so how much more liberal can the Wikipedia people be? Is it a requirement to abort 50 precious angelic babies before you’re even allowed to edit Wiki?

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 6:40 pm

[re=227569]Mahousu[/re]: Couldn’t agree more. And E.D. has an excellent entry for Conservapedia. http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Conservapedia

Mahousu January 23, 2009 at 6:42 pm

[re=227576]tunamelt[/re]: I’m waiting for the Bidens to make an ad.

fatherfigure January 23, 2009 at 6:43 pm

http://www.conservapedia.com/Disease_carrier

this is a wonderful example of conservapedian science

Scandalabra January 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm

[re=227549]cal[/re]: The phrases “Sarah Palin” and “trash bags” to together like prosciutto and melon.

Mahousu January 23, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=227580]MisterLoki[/re]: What the …? I went to school with Conservape-tan! She used the name “Linda” back then.

Aurelio January 23, 2009 at 6:46 pm

Try this one on abortion.

drrty martini January 23, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Still no entry for truck nutz…

saggyboobedhag January 23, 2009 at 6:50 pm

“Unable to complete their terms” I like that. I’m going to try to use that for any occasion.

4tehlulz January 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Looks like the Secret Service is going to be hiring soon.

p-Sludge January 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm

But the real money page is a list of Democratic Senators who perform abortions, along with their home addresses; That list is #1 with a bullet!

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul January 23, 2009 at 6:56 pm

http://www.conservapedia.com/Category:Television_Shows

Since they’ve got an entry ONLY on Angel (maybe because he’s not a she) I don’t think I’ll be needing this service that much.

OReillysVibrator January 23, 2009 at 6:58 pm

Get ready to add Franken to the list, ’cause Norma’s losing her seat.

chascates January 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm

These people make the PUMAettes look calm and rational:
http://www.conservapedia.com/Barack_Hussein_Obama

“Obama has chosen the Secret Service code name “Renegade”. “Renegade” conventionally describes someone who goes against normal conventions of behavior, but its first usage was to describe someone who has turned from their religion. It is a word derived from the Spanish renegado, meaning “Christian turned Muslim.”[41]“

Incredulicious January 23, 2009 at 7:08 pm

This is the real gem from Wingnutapedia’s entry on Obama:

“Doctors from the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons have stated that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols. For example, one speech declared, “a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, ‘I have to vote for Barack.’”

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 23, 2009 at 7:08 pm

So, what’s the over/under on number of months before a Republican politician uses the excuse “I meant to type ‘Conservapedia’ not ‘Conservapedo.’”

Probably owned by the same company knowing Republicans.

Min January 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm

[re=227588]Aurelio[/re]: I can’t quite figure it out…are they opposed to abortion or not?

Tra January 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm

Socialist socialist socialist! Also!

Jukesgrrl January 23, 2009 at 7:11 pm

[re=227582]Mahousu[/re]: I suspected Cialis was sponsoring that make-out session where he looked ready to rip off the red dress, but they didn’t have two of those bathtubs on the stage. You just KNOW big pharma heard those words Inaugural Ball and whipped out their … checkbooks.

President Beeblebrox January 23, 2009 at 7:11 pm

[re=227526]MisterLoki[/re]: MOAR ED references on teh Wonkettes! I’m impressed that there’s actually a Wonkette screengrab on ED that hasn’t been defaced somehow.

OK, snark off for a second: Wonder if the U.S. Capitol Police are aware of this? This article seems like a thinly veiled threat… hell, the Seekrit Service arrested some idiot on a Yahoo stock discussion group for threatening to pop a cap in Barry’s ass. This article isn’t exactly a solicitation to assassinate these Senators, but the intimation is clear.

Colander January 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm

“creating a socialist wealth redistribution scheme”

Like hicks know what ANY of those words mean.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm

Check out the picture they have chosen to headline their incredibly informative article on evolution: http://www.conservapedia.com/Evolution

DeLand DeLakes January 23, 2009 at 7:13 pm

They. Did. NOT. Just threaten my Klo-Bo.
Surprise wingnuts, we have exceedingly liberal gun laws here in MN, too! You suckers better be GONE by the time I get to Conservatopia!

Dreamer January 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm

I am surprised that they even bothered with California. It is not like their type of conservatives is thick in the ground there – we’re talking about the same people who think Walnuts is a liberal.

hobgoblin of little minds January 23, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=227624]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Damn I was just going to post that.

AnnieGetYourFun January 23, 2009 at 7:19 pm

I only hope some of the fucknuts behind Conservapedos are as easily-enraged as PUMAs. Could make for some fun exchanges. Is there an entry about Wonkette? Yet?

shortsshortsshorts January 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=227623]Colander[/re]: YES THEY DO!

Socialist: Evil
Redistribution: APOCALYPSE
Wealth: Never had it
Scheme: THAT’S WHAT THE TERRORIST DOES.

hobgoblin of little minds January 23, 2009 at 7:22 pm

This is why home-schooled evangelicals are typically so retarded, right?

“Hey mom, the consevapedia says that Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs walked the earth together! How cool.” (http://www.conservapedia.com/Dinosaurs#Creationary_.CE.A1erspective)

cal January 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm

[re=227624]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Ahh, so those are “conservative facts.”

I love that they lead with a CBS poll!

gournay45@gmail.com January 23, 2009 at 7:28 pm

Hmmm, so if you’re conservative and make veiled threats against elected officials you’re a patriot? Sweet Jesus I despise these people.

Monsieur Grumpe January 23, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Hmmmm, nothing under Libtard. This site needs some help. I got some free time this weekend. How much do they pay?

Colander January 23, 2009 at 7:31 pm

“Buffy Studies is a subset of the academic field of cultural studies.”

IS IT REALLY??

hobgoblin of little minds January 23, 2009 at 7:31 pm
shortsshortsshorts January 23, 2009 at 7:39 pm

[re=227648]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: gimme dat grammar.

V572625694 January 23, 2009 at 7:53 pm

[re=227541]Lazy Media[/re]: Hawaii got a Republican governor the same way Amurrica got a Democratic (secret Muslin, also) Preznident: the predecessor, Ben Cayetano, screwed up sooooo bad that there was no alternative.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 23, 2009 at 8:01 pm

[re=227641]cal[/re]: I liked that too. Of course Evolution is a commie-liberal plot, the polls say so! I also liked that they basically just quote one guy as proof that evolution is all hooey. Come on, you have your polls, why do you need a pseudo-scientist?

[re=227632]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: Great minds, eh?

whenPUMAsattack January 23, 2009 at 8:03 pm

Conservapedia is AWESOME for trolling. Just make an account and add crazy wingnut bullshit to anything. They will either get their panties in a twist and ban you or accept it as obviously true.

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 8:10 pm

[re=227562]Toonces[/re]: Rules were made to be broken. See, Gore v. Bush, US S.Ct. (2000). Nah, nah, nah, demrats.

bluetom00 January 23, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Daniel Akaka. Hah. Let me say that again: Daniel Akaka. Hah.

El Pinche January 23, 2009 at 8:17 pm

When sane and normal knowledge isn’t good enough visit Conservapedia. They’re definition of Hard Drive is way better than librul elitist version .

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul January 23, 2009 at 8:17 pm

[re=227615]Incredulicious[/re]: MIND CONTROL! Conspiration of the Telepaths! Like the one they had in Babylon 5 (tv series, remember, from the 90s). And Black Arts such as telepathy are forbidden in the Bible (which Barack Hussein Obama didn’t use in his oath).

President Beeblebrox January 23, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Conservapedia even has a special section for home skooling.

http://www.conservapedia.com/American_History_Homework

Lascauxcaveman January 23, 2009 at 8:22 pm

[re=227617]Min[/re]: I can’t quite figure it out…are they opposed to abortion or not?

I can’t tell either! They say it’s a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY, so … what? A business success story?

NebraskashireGentry January 23, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Ben Nelson is barely a Democrat.

And of the many Republicans Gov. Heineman could appoint should something happen to Sen. Nelson, Heineman would assuredly chose the most unqualified idiot in the history of the state (which is saying something and would probably be himself).

It would be best for everyone if Senate stayed the way it is.

El Pinche January 23, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=227677]President Beeblebrox[/re]:
From Homework 15:
Why ares our freedoms important to you? Explains in three numbers.

NebraskashireGentry January 23, 2009 at 8:29 pm

…especially since governors can’t even appoint senators from their own parties without some sort of uproar.

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 8:36 pm

[re=227571]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]:
— “Conservative facts?” — A phrase which ranks up there in credibility with the words, “Intelligent Design”, which has been completely disproved by the actions US automakers over the last 20 years.

EggplantParm January 23, 2009 at 8:44 pm

[re=227564]Rodney Badger[/re]: Holy crap, I’d forgotten all about Persiankitty. Off to do some research, which is better persiankitty, xtube, redtube or tube8? “What is this, some kind of tube?”

Links January 23, 2009 at 8:44 pm

Fun Fact for Conservapedians: If the Preznit were to tragically die and the next 4 people in line for succession were to tragically die, a Republican (Robert Gates) would be the new preznit.

Conservapedia: Proudly misundereducating homegrown terrorists.

qwerty42 January 23, 2009 at 8:50 pm

[re=227666]whenPUMAsattack[/re]: “…Just make an account and add crazy wingnut bullshit to anything….” y’mean kinda like when we all tried to help the Republicans at that site they had? (there were so many good ideas; I think “be more gay” would have helped them the most). I seem to recall though that someone (here?) wrote that it was becoming difficult to distinguish between the wingnuts and the snark.

President Beeblebrox January 23, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=227683]El Pinche[/re]: 420.

otisfatboy January 23, 2009 at 8:54 pm

[re=227624]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Follow this evolution article and see the wondrous long explanation of fossils, and the very short explain-away, of fossil fuels.

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 8:56 pm

[re=227562]Toonces[/re]: The missionary munching inhabitants of the Cook Islands have the same rules for filling a vacated US Senate seat as Alaskans. See [re=227562]Toonces[/re]:
But: [re=227670]S.Luggo[/re]:

IceCreamEmpress January 23, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Fun Fact for Conservapedians: If the Preznit were to tragically die and the next 4 people in line for succession were to tragically die, a Republican (Robert Gates) would be the new preznit.

One of those people is Undead Ex-Klansman Robert Byrd, so they’ll have to use silver bullets or something.

Square Deal January 23, 2009 at 9:05 pm

[re=227559]Ken Layne[/re]: WP notoriously scripts the hell out of the admin side, but if you’re feeling industrious/elitist you can let Firefox step in. (Type about:config into the URL bar, filter for layout.spellcheckDefault and change its value from “1″ to “2″. Now everything you type will be immediately checked and underlined if it’s Real-America-misspelled, so simply switch it back off if it’s irritating.)

stopmebeforeitypeagain January 23, 2009 at 9:07 pm

“creating a socialist wealth redistribution scheme””

You got a problem with that?

Links January 23, 2009 at 9:13 pm

@IceCreamEmpress: Wooden stakes would be better choice of weaponry against the Undead. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put the oldest man in the Senate third in line for Presidential succession anyway?

Markamatics January 23, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Quote from the Conservapedia, from the page on the President,

“Doctors from the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons have stated that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches…”

That’s in the introduction…Oh my god this is the worst website ever.

OffTheRecord January 23, 2009 at 9:21 pm

[re=227677]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Oh my fucking god. The answers students submitted are hilarious!

3. Why do you think several early settlements in America failed?

Some socialistic farming policies failed to motivate the settlers to work. (Steve M.)

Steve M. clearly knows whats up. Those damn socialist pilgrims ruined everything.

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 9:22 pm

[re=227623]Colander[/re]: They know what ‘scheme’ means. As in, “Dagnabit. Close the scheme door. You’ll let the mosquitos and truancy officers in, also.”

edgydrifter January 23, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Remember, you can’t spell “conservapedia” without “douchetard” also.

Joey Ratz January 23, 2009 at 9:24 pm

[re=227580]MisterLoki[/re]: Damn. I had no idea CP actually stood for Clown Porn.

mdotsota January 23, 2009 at 9:29 pm

[re=227680]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Why do these secret commies want to destroy American prosperity?

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 9:50 pm

[re=227615]Incredulicious[/re]:
“The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons”
A Ron Paul group, whose members demand to be paid by patients in Ameros, quatloos or warm puppies.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_of_American_Physicians_and_Surgeons

rocktonsammy January 23, 2009 at 9:51 pm

They got that list from Fox.

They forgot Durbin and the new colored Senator Illinois.

Conservatards

Mr Blifil January 23, 2009 at 9:51 pm

Fuck. Here I thought GameFAQ was where the violent rebellion was being planned.

rocktonsammy January 23, 2009 at 9:54 pm

[re=227560]madtowngooner[/re]:

Lansing Michigan has the Lugnuts… FYI

ChicagoTypewriter January 23, 2009 at 10:05 pm

From the Palin entry:

” It is suspected that Palin may spend the next four years building a base for a 2012 run for the Republican nomination against Barack Obama. Given her personal charisma and Reagan-esque connection with average, conservative Americans, she may be able to pull off a resounding victory. ”

Whoa.

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 10:07 pm

[re=227621]President Beeblebrox[/re]: As long as we don’t get swamped with Boxxy…..

msmoneypenny January 23, 2009 at 10:13 pm

haha the sexual reproduction section is “too technical”

The Helvetica Scenario January 23, 2009 at 10:23 pm

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Lenski_affair
Probably Conservapedia’s finest moment.

Ilikepigeons January 23, 2009 at 10:32 pm

conservapedia doesn’t deserve a place in dickipedia

WABishop January 23, 2009 at 10:37 pm

[re=227620]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Remember, you can’t spell “Socialist” without “Cialis”

chascates January 23, 2009 at 10:39 pm

[re=227734]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: RationalWiki is a nice site.

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Conservapedia:Best_of_Conservapedia

chascates January 23, 2009 at 10:42 pm

[re=227741]chascates[/re]: And for Ann Coulter RationalWiki lists:

Annagrams
* No Real Cunt
* Unclean Rot
* Rectal Noun

momus January 23, 2009 at 10:46 pm

The Founding Fathers would have called this sedition.

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm

[re=227734]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: That is an Epic Fucking Win.

djl January 23, 2009 at 11:06 pm

Those dummys can’t even get their hit list right. What about Rhode Island? The bluest state in the union has a republican governor who would be happy to replace Jack Reed (Barry’s ex-boyfriend) and Sheldon Whitehouse, whose name means “Pink Triangle.”

El Pinche January 23, 2009 at 11:11 pm

[re=227734]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Lenski’s final response was magnificent, it was so good my nipples are still tingling.

Mahousu January 23, 2009 at 11:13 pm

[re=227730]MisterLoki[/re]: How do we know Boxxy isn’t really Malaka? I mean,
with a little makeup (ok, a lot) …

S.Luggo January 23, 2009 at 11:22 pm

[re=227745]momus[/re]: ?

El Pinche January 23, 2009 at 11:23 pm

[re=227698]President Beeblebrox[/re]: if only they would. conservatives need their third eye squeegeed. perhaps, they’ll realize that Ben Stein isn’t a real scientist or teacher.
Speaking of which its about 420 right about now.

El Pinche January 23, 2009 at 11:25 pm

[re=227756]El Pinche[/re]: about!

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 11:28 pm

[re=227754]Mahousu[/re]: Malaka is the chemo for the.., Oh never mind. CAW THREAD!

BrandonMills January 23, 2009 at 11:37 pm

I get all of my facts from Wikifur

Barrett808 January 23, 2009 at 11:46 pm
2druk2phluq January 23, 2009 at 11:48 pm

[re=227730]MisterLoki[/re]: Minutes from the 33rd Annual Meeting of the Horny Mad Scientist League: “If we can’t make Boxxy older and still retain the freshness, then perhaps we can make ourselves younger.” “Harumph.” “Harumph.” “Harumph.” “Caw.”

wickedlittledoll January 23, 2009 at 11:50 pm

Damn socialist muslin’ terrorist B. Hussein Obama.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

MisterLoki January 23, 2009 at 11:54 pm

[re=227768]2druk2phluq[/re]: Teh lulz. I have them.
ITT: People who probably have no idea what we are talking about.

S.Luggo January 24, 2009 at 12:22 am

[re=227766]Barrett808[/re]: I’ll wait for the suggested HBO movie, “When consent is not to Christ.”

Vercingatorix January 24, 2009 at 12:55 am

t goes to show ya how stupid the nutters are. Billy Bob will get all amped up after reading this load his guns, get in his pickup and go shoot the governor because he got confused.

President Beeblebrox January 24, 2009 at 1:14 am

[re=227751]djl[/re]: According to CPeedia, Rhode Island was founded on the backs of slaves because it was the only colony to separate church from state. Well, duh, ALL of the Colonies were founded on the backs of teh slaves. In fact, they have a real problem with R.I.

Hells, they’re right. Time to head back to the Church of England right now.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Liberal_Denials_about_History

“The following truths about history are typically denied by liberal history textbooks: … That Rhode Island and Thomas Jefferson, and their view of a “separation of church and state,” had no role in the formation of the Constitution.”

“Specific truths that history books deny: Rhode Island was the only state to separate church and state, and as a result it became the biggest importer of slaves.[1]”

[1] links to a website for a Florida Civil War re-enactor’s society, ftw!

davesnothere January 24, 2009 at 1:18 am

Oh, I get it – the whole thing is gag!

Right??

chauncey January 24, 2009 at 1:19 am

[re=227624]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: oh… god…

… Prominent evolutionist Richard Dawkins stated the following regarding Hitler: “What’s to prevent us from saying Hitler wasn’t right? I mean, that is a genuinely difficult question.”

Dawkins, you nasty Nazi

davesnothere January 24, 2009 at 1:21 am

I mean c’mon, it’s gotta be.

“Fine words butter no parsnips,” about the Inaugural Speech?

The whole frickin site is a send-up.

Vercingatorix January 24, 2009 at 1:28 am

The conservapedia pages for ‘pornography’ is a treat and They spend more electrons pounding Richard Dawkins than they do praising G. W. Bush; which is a whole lot of electrons.

chauncey January 24, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=227614]chascates[/re]: Amazingly the etymology bit is true-

renegade
1583, “apostate,” probably (with change of suffix) from Sp. renegado, originally “Christian turned Muslim,” from M.L. renegatus, prop. pp. of renegare “deny” (see renege). General sense of “turncoat” is from 1665. The form renegate, directly from M.L., is attested in Eng. from c.1375.

I’m just glad the Secret Service thinks these names through! Who would have thought they were so sensitive?

CumaeanSibyl January 24, 2009 at 2:16 am

[re=227526]MisterLoki[/re]: We appreciate your fealty.

Neon Trotsky January 24, 2009 at 2:39 am

[re=227589]drrty martini[/re]: No entry on Truck Nutz…until you create one! The people (at least those who likely read conservapedia) demand it!

Neon Trotsky January 24, 2009 at 2:40 am

Also hilarious is that Conservapedia’s icon is a little American flag. What? Nothing worth conserving from other parts of the world or originating before 1776? Hengh?

gurukalehuru January 24, 2009 at 2:57 am

[re=227648]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: ALL CAPZ AND FUCK THE PUNCTUATION!!

shortsshortsshorts January 24, 2009 at 3:14 am

[re=227808]gurukalehuru[/re]: GODDAMN YES PUNCTUATION AND CAPS AND ALL THAT. Good luck with that. Hopefully you can get a few conservatives to do the same, because it is funny.

shortsshortsshorts January 24, 2009 at 3:19 am

[re=227810]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Moran.

Larry McAwful January 24, 2009 at 7:46 am

Can anyone go in and add to that list? Because Al Franken should be included. If anyone does, five getcha ten the editors remove him within minutes, but still.

meyotch January 24, 2009 at 9:49 am

Okay,

so I’m lazy and not really that interested in following up, but the domain registration at godaddy.com for liberalpedia.com expires on the 22nd of February.

so, you know . . . whatever.

bitchincamaro January 24, 2009 at 10:23 am

[re=227734]The Helvetica Scenario[/re]: Well worth the 20 minutes reading. Lenski handed Schlafly his ass in a hat. In fact, asshat was “Lenski-ed” shall be part of my lexicon, forthwith. Thanks.

HedCase January 24, 2009 at 11:14 am

we need a Wonkepedia

Beef Supreme January 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

They have an article on Hollywood Values. For example, did you know that Hollywood’s very own Eazy-E died of AIDS because of Hollywood Values.

bitchincamaro January 24, 2009 at 11:55 am

I hit “random page”, and here’s what came up:

http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Sean_Hannity

[yeah, I know; I said "I hit random page". Sue me]

Fly Over Girl January 24, 2009 at 12:12 pm

[re=227681]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: Gah. If Heineman didn’t grab Nelson’s seat for himself, Attorney General Bruning would stab him in the back for it.

Or we’d get Robin Eschliman from Lincoln’s City Council (aka the Sarah Palin/Kitty Harris/Michelle Bachmann of the NEGOP) as a place holder. Eschliman actually started a public feud with the Lincoln Police Dept’s union over the fact that she believed the the members of the LPD did not contribute enough money (out of their personal incomes, not from a PAC) to United Way. She’s a keeper!

slavojzizek January 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm

You really think a lack of Democratic Senators would be sufficient to stop Barack Hussein Obama from socializing medicine, nationalizing the auto and financial industries, and creating a socialist wealth distribution scheme? You fools! Nothing can stop him, Bwah, hah, hah… (that sentence about Obama’s socialist goals is not on the page at this point–was it really like that before someone changed it?)

greensprout January 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm

“Andy Schlafly, B.S.E”

Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy? Would explain quite a bit.

indigo January 24, 2009 at 1:14 pm

[re=227786]davesnothere[/re]: I was reading the article on San Francisco, and I came upon a sentence that I thought Wonkette would write as a joke:

“San Francisco is also a “city of refuge”, which means they have passed an ordinance that it is against the law to report illegal immigrants to the United States authorities as they are required to legally do. In other words anyone upholding the federal law will get in trouble with the city. This has led to a culture of under aged drug dealers continuing their trade with impunity.”

That’s about all they had to say about my city.

slavojzizek January 24, 2009 at 1:31 pm

In the spirit of balance, they also have a list of Republican Senators who need to be protected from Democratic assassins, since they come from states with Democratic Governors: http://www.conservapedia.com/Senate_Republicans_from_States_with_Democrat_Governors

dearest January 24, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=227624]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Yep, I saw that yesterday and for a second thought that the whole was a prank. I did not even make me laugh, although it should.

sanantonerose January 24, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Devil box? Oh, I’m so using that in my classes next week.

Gayer Than Thou January 24, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=227869]indigo[/re]: And there is so, so very much more to say about San Francisco. For example, it was founded by Muslins and dinosaurs, and it’s where Nancy Pelosi and Karl Marx taught Barry and Michelle how to fist with each other.

DoktorZoom January 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

[re=227871]slavojzizek[/re]: Ac quick look at the “history” tabs of the two articles indicates that the second list was added to Conservapedia only after this very Wonkette post ran.

You know, because they’re all about being fair and balanced.

TonySidaway January 24, 2009 at 5:08 pm

TK has protected the article claiming that the whole thing was “The Work Of An Internet Parodist/Vandal”. Actually it was started by User:QWest, and that guy looks for real, to me (though admittedly it’s difficult to tell). QWest has not been blocked.

Darkness January 24, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=227623]Colander[/re]: “creating a socialist wealth redistribution scheme”

>Like hicks know what ANY of those words mean.

The quickest example to clarify it would be “it’s what Sarah Palin does with oil company money in alaska”

Really, I find it hysterically funny that when faced with a truly egalitarian system for gathering knowledge that conservatives run off crying to play in their own basement, where the sun never shines, just so they can beat up on their sister’s dolls without the risk of anyone telling them they are confused about the world.

Seven of Nine January 24, 2009 at 5:55 pm
BitchyMel January 24, 2009 at 6:59 pm

>Really, I find it hysterically funny that when faced with a truly egalitarian system for gathering knowledge that conservatives run off crying to play in their own basement, where the sun never shines, just so they can beat up on their sister’s dolls without the risk of anyone telling them they are confused about the world.<

If they are conservatives, there is a good chance they are doing more with the dolls than just beating them up.
I am just so sad I missed it since they discovered the political terrorists and took down their work.

Bamos January 24, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Seriously, don’t read this Consevadrivel unless you have a strong stomach and are delusional.

Monsieur Grumpe January 24, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=227929]Seven of Nine[/re]:
They said that Wonkette was well respected? Very strange.

Monsieur Grumpe January 24, 2009 at 7:44 pm

[re=227854]bitchincamaro[/re]:
That’s fucking great. Who wrote that?

Kotter January 24, 2009 at 8:00 pm

The current message at that page is…um…priceless.

Servo January 24, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=227869]indigo[/re]:
They’re just pissed because teh gayz make too much noise and scared away Bigfoot.

J05H January 24, 2009 at 10:16 pm

troll bait

Blue Line January 25, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=227917]TonySidaway[/re]: Yeah, this is what QWest’s member information says:

“Hi, my name is Quentin West. I’m a banker living in Tempe, Arizona. I’m a committed Christian and I’m deeply concerned about the continuing influence of liberalism in politics. I’ve been reading Conservapedia for a while now and I think it’s a really great project. Although he’s not the ideal candidate, I support John McCain for President because the thought of Barack Hussein Obama in the White House is terrifying. I look forward to contributing to this project!!!”

Nice try, Wingnutpedia.

twingonaut January 25, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=227601]Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul[/re]: I love the TV show entries. I have never seen such a level of deep and complex analysis. I think it will’ be the best source for intricate information, such as David Tenant’s portrayal of Doctor who as more humorous and vivacious than Eccleston’s.”

Isn’t “vivacious” one of those words that the gayz use?

TonySidaway January 26, 2009 at 12:15 am

Yeah, Doris Day was vivacious all over Rock Hudson in Pillow Talk. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was what turned Rock gay in the first place!

phineas_bounderby January 26, 2009 at 7:34 am

In tribute to the Wonkette’s TruckNutz campaign on Rebuild the Party I’ve posted a very helpful suggestion (and stripped of the insults it’s really pretty accurate and straight analysis) of why the Right in general and the GOP in particular are the blithering idiots of the web:

The link to my suggestion is at

http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/109861-really-learn-why-you-re-net-illiterate

bodhisoma January 28, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Does nobody remember Assassination Politics??!

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