Wonkette
- In-the-tank National Park Service is reporting that 1.8 million people attended Barry’s Inauguration, but some people think the real number was closer to 1 million, meaning Obama is not even technically President. [DC Examiner]
- Fannie Mae is laying off hundreds of people, most of whom live and work — well, used to anyway — in DC. [WTOP]
- United Medical Center is once again an accredited hospital thanks to a $30 million bailout and the benevolent specter of Dr. Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta, M.D. [Washington Post]
- The Presidential Inaugural Committee is handing out free leftover programs from the Inauguration to street hobos (95% of American families) — to boil the programs and eat them between two Saltines — and the ill-fated “purple ticket holders” who to this day are still being held in a bunker in Berlin. [DCist]
- US News is launching an exciting “digital newsweekly”, and online version of the magazine that readers can access on their own “personal computers” (or “PCs” in binary code). [Fishbowl DC]
Purple tickets? Does that mean they voted twice in Iraq?
No coverage of Robert (Robert Robert Robert) Gibbs’ press conference?
He needs someone to tie his ties for him. Seriously.
If the last 8 years have taught me anything, it’s that “some people” don’t know shit.
I am waiting for Sallie Mae to just implode. Die, Sallie Mae, die.
Only 1 million people attended the Inauguration, which means the other 299 million Americans must hate Obama!!1 To quote one of my favorite of Ken’s wingnut AOL commenters, “80% of folks dont like Obama!”
298 million Americans did not attend the inaugaral, so that means the majority of Americans wants Obama shipped back to Africa.
Great headlines today, Juli. Why won’t you be my facebook friend?
“Fannie Mae is laying off hundreds of people, most of whom live and work — well, used to anyway — in DC.”
But, you are missing the classic republican thinking involved here. To them it is completely logical that if there are not enough people with good paying jobs, who can afford your products, the best thing possible is to lay more people off. Brilliant! Oh, and lay off the government workers first, because they don’t pay taxes or buy things…the end.
Lets have an investigation on how Sanjay Gupta’s teeth are so white.
Karazay. Park service is notorious for underestimating crowds.
A Digital Newsweekly? Transmitted through the ether! How this would thrill and amaze Dame Peggy of Nooningtonshire!!
ZOMG, imagine being able to get news and opinion weekly! Never again will I say the people at Newsweek are Luddite lame-brains.
When are the purple ticket holders/sacrificial fodder going to realize they are in the real life version of a creepy Anna Paquin movie? Cheney needed fresh souls to rejuvenate before that wheelchair became just one stop on his way to becoming a pile of evil ash.
tunamelt: Now that David Gregory’s wife got her bonuses, I guess it would be OK.
tunamelt: Nice effort, but student loans are forever.
Isn’t that Fleet Admiral Dr. Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta, M.D. … I mean, the blue coat and gold braid and all? Maybe he should be Surgeon Admiral. Does he have special sniper units the way the Postmaster General does?
(Cranks up his Packard Bell 386 PC)I want some of that new “US News and World Report on the internet” shit. Hell, its just a fad, I think they are gonna wisht they had spent the money on some new IBM Selectrics. I miss watching that little ball of letters jump around. (Sigh)
Isn’t it wonderful that when he takes office as Our Nation’s doctor, we will be able to call him “Known Cock-Gobbler Sanjay Gupta”? The dude gobbles his cocks on teevee, for crying out loud. Larry Craig was more discrete.
Juli, just because there is a new intern, you can’t slack. “PC” is not binary, it’s hexadecimal.
cal: Roberts’ ties are with, and selected by, the American Enterprise Institute.