Wonkette
Look. We all know that Barack Obama is not an American human anyway, so he’ll never *really* be president if you care about, oh we don’t know, FACTS. But the sheeple have accepted him and so we must find other “mainstream” ways to have him ousted from office, at which point Ron Paul’s reign will finally be recognized for eternity and he will give us all Gold. The “flubbed oath” thing seemed like a good angle — clearly John Roberts was trying to tell us something about this man — but then Nobama’s goons eliminated that. So here’s the latest thing we’ll try: it turns out that the “live music” performed at Inauguration by Yo Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman was in fact recorded, because they were worried their precious fingers would freeze and they’d screw up. And now Obama’s not president!
Did you know that in the Thirteenth Amendment, right after the part that ends slavery, there’s a clause that says black presidents must be serenaded by an Asian and a Jew with “live performances?” MMHMM. Soon. Soon the sheeple shall understand.
The Frigid Fingers Were Live, but the Music Wasn’t [NYT]
Yo! Yo! Ma!
Dat show was fer da shitznizzle!
Goddamn Chineses! Always using fake performances.
Now let me really blow your mind: That wasn’t the real Barack Obama, either. That was a hologram that was beamed in from Obama’s secret lair in the crater of an extinct volcano on an uncharted isle where he’s putting the final touches on his mechanized army of Hopebots!
Reality Math
Expensive Wood Instruments + Cold weather = bad sound.
Wing Nut Math
B. HUSSEIN O + Fake Muzik = Prez Milli Vanilli
Serolf Divad: EVERYONE FORWARD THIS TO YOUR SENATOR & CONGRESS
None of those two million people where even in DC! They were on a special soundstage built on the dark side of the moon!
were
Serolf Divad: I always thought his secret lair was hidden deep within the wreck of the Andra Doria!
ManchuCandidate: They said on CNN last night that they had gotten special carbon violins and cellos to use in the cold. But someone must have decided that was just too much blackness for the poor Washington whiteys to handle!
if ashlee simpson could pull it off and still be america’s sweetheart celebutard then yo yo ma can still save himself by making an appearance on snl.
Do they qualify for a Grammy category?
Itzhak Perlman’s had a polio flairup.
My question is why was Robert Gibbs staring at his Blackberry the whole time they ‘played’? Couldn’t that dude have gotten a better seat?
you cannot be serious:
Shivering in B Minor?
If the weather had been warmer, would that poem still have sucked?
If they were just going to pipe in something he wasn’t playing anyway, couldn’t they have had Yo Yo Ma lipsynching to “We Built This City”?
I prefer Colbert’s take on the situation, that after the inauguration’s slight time delay, Yo Yo Ma is actually president.
Texan Bulldoggette: LOL @ concert w/Yo yo + Itzhak…ZOMG so boring theyre liek not even rly playin!!1
Jeez. Might as well have dug up Morrison, Hendrix, Garcia and Joplin and have them play.
I keep my fingers warm in the winter by never letting go of my wiener, even when driving.
Why is no one live blogging Blago’s news conference. He’s referencing western movies & hangings–again, he comes through!
I’m just happy they didn’t hire Celine ‘Mandible’ Dion.
Aretha was NOT Memorex (and plenty said she sounded subpar), nor were the marching bands. That offsets the taint. But why didn’t they set up heat dishes there and in the parade viewing booth? Every outdoor restaurant in LA has them.
Serolf Divad:
That was the original plan, but due to the superior cloning technology on the uncharted planet Kamino it was decided to outsouce the Hopebot contract to them which was rather convenient due to the fact that Jango Fett was already there. How much longer will we be held hostage to foreign cloning due to our adiction to Hopebots??? Approve offshore cloning NOW and bring these jobs back to Amurika…clone, baby, clone!
They should have done the same thing for Aretha.
actor212: he should never have left Wu-Tang.
Electra: And Caroline Kennedy is the King of Iceland.
I loved Yo-Yo Ma’s reasoning: “A broken string was not an option. It was wicked cold.” Exactly.
Donkey Sauce: Win.
Serolf Divad: There were any number of Saddams during his time, and plenty of them were assassinated, for practice, even. Also, didn’t that Simpson kid prove on SNL you can blame it on the rain with impunity?
facehead: I’m more partial to the other dry cleaner down the block.
Yo Yo Milli Vanilli
Aretha iz gawd. Ya’ll are haters.
Serolf Divad: Lies hes a robot like jfk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J3fxsA3C6Y
Now, if only we could find out that the lame poem was pre-recorded too.
I think the idea of the performance was like one of them WWII “We Are One” war movies, where every single scene of troops used like a class picture of affirmative action. Except they always had a Puerto Rican, is all.
THey did play live, but only those right there with the musicians could here them.. the real audio was piped out.
So Yo-Yo is still President.
nrkeyqueer: I’m tellin’ ya. She’s my very favorite teevee chef for all time. She was on Oprah, and they cooked up some banana pudding. Yum, I says. Whacha got, Queen? asked Oprah. Some banana pudding, say Queen. Whereupon she sliced open a packet of pudding mix, and laid it down in a pan. Then she opened her up a bag of vanilla wafers, and layered ‘em all about, they stuck the pan in the oven.
Accessible, that’s my kind of cooking.
nrkeyqueer:
Aretha had her time. It’s time for Melinda Doolittle.
Ha the Jews control the media and the Google and the rest of the intertubes were created by Al Gore and the Asians so the black can probably stay in office or something. But those of us from “Real America” know better so that when WALNUTS! drops dead of skin cancer of whatever next week Sarah Palin will so kill some moose/wolves and be president of Alaska which has tons of oil and therefore she’s president of America. Yay!
Rush: Yo Yo Milli Vanilli Ice
Fixed your post.
Yeah, if I had a cello worth a million bucks, I’d schlep it out on stage in a cold wind so I could make noises with it that the microphones probably wouldn’t pickup very well, which would probably be a good thing, as it would be going out of tune faster than I could finish the song anyway.
At least Yo Yo and the boys tried to make it look real, not like those music videos where you have the girl singer ‘playing’ guitar and it’s painfully obvious she’s never held a musical instrument in her life.
(Obviously I’m not talking about the Bonnie Raitt or Susan Tedeschi types here.)
No hay banda. Il n’y a pas d’orchestre. There is no band. It is all a recording!
Yo Yo Ma rarely makes mistakes, but I’m sure outdoor in frigid temperatures his tone would sound like shit. They don’t call it “warm” for no reason. I’m just wondering if Rick Warren realized Yo Yo was his name and not some kind of Obama street slang greeting.
As a fellow cellist, i totes understand the reasoning behind this. I kept telling everyone around me obnoxiously how PERFECT it sounded despite the wood-splitting, string-ripping, frostbite-inducing cold of the day. I was a bit disappointed at first, but clearly, it’s a legit reason. I am done being serious now. Also.
Even sadder, the John Williams composition went over some of the same territory — the Shaker hymn/dance piece “Simple Gifts” by Elder Joseph Brackett — that Aaron Copeland had covered splendidly in 1944. Made-for-t.v. Copeland being faked by four gifted players — not a great inaugural moment. Why not announce that due to the inclement weather, they had recorded the piece and here it is, instead of giving in to the networks’ “American Bandstand” mentality?
(Hey, that was really Pete Seeger with Bruce Springsteen, right, and not an animatronic? Whew…)
Obama and Roberts should have lipsynced the oath dealie.
Meanwhile, the U.S. Marine Corps band and the Army herald trumpets played live in the 30-degree weather, because they have lips and balls of steel.
Rush: Joel, is that you?
If you play the tape backwards, it says “John Roberts buried Paul”.
My mama tole me if I ever married a man called Yo Yo Ma, she would tell my Yo Yo Da to disown me.
lawrenceofthedesert: “(Hey, that was really Pete Seeger with Bruce Springsteen, right, and not an animatronic? Whew…)” Yes, that WAS really Pete and Silent Bruce, and that’s when they got the idea to pre-record.
Lascauxcaveman: “(Obviously I’m not talking about the Bonnie Raitt or Susan Tedeschi types here.)” No, you’re talking about that girl who was on Sat. Night Live last week.
Geez, the coverage this nonstory is getting is definitely going to undermine the very sinews of our republic, much like Woodward and Bernstein back there in the 1970s, during the Harding administration or whatever.
Seriously…are tee vee news actors really gettting this stupid? Do they not have editors? I have a six and four year old who need constant adult supervision. These assklowns could benefit from the same.
I think President Obama just did an about face. William Lynn is a recent former defense contract lobbyist for Ratheon Corporation in Massachusetts. Obama said specifically there are rules for lobbyists to engage his administration as well as have some buffer to remove conflict of interest. Within 48 hours of his executive decree, Obama issues an executive “waiver” against his own decree for William to take the post of Deputy Secretary of Defense. Check it out at http://notjustdirt.wordpress.com
Wow. As a musician, I must say that this was worth it just for the Perlman and Ma jokes! Extremely rare.
so, if this is anything like the Chinese girl who lip-synced as an uglier, talented version of herself sang at the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics, where is the media-fueled outrage incited by competing news outlets unable to cover the event?
All ‘real’ musicians knew, watching this, that they could NOT possibly have been playing the music live because it was simply too freekin’ cold! I could also tell by the look on Yo-Yo Ma’s face…he was smirking in a funny way at Perleman as if to say “ha!…this is silly”…I found the piece they played well-chosen for the venue and what a nice change from the Bushy Era!