Wonkette
Wow, this is a kind of a weird thing to say: Norm Coleman told the AP that anybody besides Al Franken would have really kicked his ass in that Senate race. Why is Norm Coleman pointing out that he could have been an even bigger loser than he already is, locked in an endless recount with a retired comedian who didn’t even live in Minnesota for 30 years?
“I think any Democrat other than Al Franken would have been elected,” Coleman told The Associated Press in an interview. “A Minnesota-bred, traditional Democratic candidate probably could have waltzed into office in this cycle.”
Wow, them’s fightin’ words, sure to buck up his most despairing supporters! Henry V could not have put it better.
Franken’s request to dismiss Coleman suit is denied [Star-Tribune]
Norm Coleman is a human windsock.
STFU Norm, and take it like a man. You lost. Get over it.
Norm is the kinda guy who couldn’t laid in a brothel.
So when did Norm(a) Coleman transition to living full-time as a man?
But what does Alanis Morisette have to do with Norm Coleman?
Gayer Than Thou: I am so disturbed by that photo.
Hey Norm, I thought you got job.
Proof-positive that Coleman will go wherever the power (or pussy) is…he’s been nothing but consistent in that regard.
“Minnesota-bred?” AKA not Jewish? Norm Coleman, aren’t you now a paid employee of an organization designed to get Jews to vote Republican? Ladies and Gentleman, your Gentiles Only Party!
Paraphrasing Nate Silver here: Norm Coleman lost to a wrestler, then beat a dead man, then tied a comedian.
But hey, some people were meant to have long-lasting careers in the Senate, others were meant to convince Jewish people to vote for Republicans.
Before going into a legal battle it is not best to say that you will lose, because you are wrong. I have learned this much in my profession.
Norm does have a point - it’s a lackluster burn on the DFL for having to now spend an insane truckload of money on legal fees, when if they’d nominated any other democrat up to and including Walter Mondale this race would have been a cakewalk.
Then again, a non-traditional Democrat who left Minnesota as fast as his comedic timing would carry him is going to beat his loser ass anyway.
What kills me is “Minnesota-bred”. From what I know (admittedly from Wiki) is that both Coleman and Franken were born in New York City - but Franken moved as a child and was raised outside of Minneapolis. Coleman, however, grew up and attended high school and college in New York.
Shut your piehole, Coleman!
Man, I wonder how badly he would have lost to comedian who had actually been funny more recently than 1994?
Maybe they should have run Mickey Rourke against him, he’s a wrestler(sort of), a(n) (unintentional) comedian and a sufficiently wierd looking enough of a white male to serve in th Senate.
How’s that job at Hebrew National, Norm? Get back to fuckin’ work!
OReillysVibrator: I was so hoping Jesse would run for senator against Norm and Al! The debates would have been comedy gold.
Noodle Salad: I wouldn’t say being Jewish was Al’s (or Norm’s) problem. The big problem was it became a choice of the lesser of the two tools and Al is marginally less toolie.
Gayer Than Thou:
The movie Rocky Horror Picture Show springs to mind. Sing it Frankie: “In just seven days (and seven nights!), I can make you a maaaaaaan…..”
Terry: I’m just sayin’: she was one fugly chick in high school, poor thing.
Am I in the minority here? I love Al Franken, and even though I admit he’s not the ideal candidate, I still think he’s funny as shit.
And he’s basically a nice guy.
Is Al Franken the one Democrat we’ve chosen to sacrifice so we can deny a liberal bias and appear to remain faire an bulunced?
I would hit that sensitive dweeb with the shiny hair and great jaw and will as soon as the flux capacitor charges up. AV club? Check! Chess Club? Check! Smokes pot? Check! Theater club? Oh please say yes!
Norm, oh Norm, how did things go so very wrong for you to waste such hawt geekyness?
I love how republicans are finally realizing the influence of environmental factors in one’s success or failure. Poor people are poor because they’re bad people, but I lost the election because there were “headwinds” or “any republican would have lost in this cycle.” Fuck you, Coleman, you lost because your party (and you) failed. Plus, you used to look like Hillary Swank’s retarded sister.
In other words: “I think any Republican other than Norm Coleman would have been elected,” Coleman told The Associated Press in an interview. “A Minnesota-bred, traditional Republican candidate (who hadn’t spent the last six years sucking the toes of an incompetant trucknut who did everything humanly possible to drive our economy, our military, our domestic security, our international standing and our Coustitution into the toilet) probably could have waltzed into office (against Al Franken).”
The Unfairman: You are, but I really like him too.
If it keeps Al from having a radio show, then he has my full support.
The Unfairman: Yes, we’re in the minority. Franken is still twice as funny as pretty much everyone on SNL combined (not that that’s saying much).
that picture reminds me of a game I invented called “man or woman?”.
to rules: walk down a city street, look at people coming the opposite direction and determine whether they are male or female.
the object is to guess correctly as much as possible.
once you get really good, try it in the winter OR see how far away subjects can be for you to still make an accurate prediction.
basically, high school Coleman would be halfway around the block and I’d be pondering whether he was the “daughter” of my parent’s pastor. and given the near-perpetual winter of his home state, he would frustrate even the most adept player.
peachgirl: In my experience, there is very little overlap between chess geeks and theater geeks. The chess players are smarter and socially backwards, the theater types try for fabulous but just end up annoying.
The Unfairman:
Al’s book Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot got me through a good chunk of these last eight years. Not only is it funny, it’s well researched. Al put together a smart young team to do the research and assembled it all in well thought out dialogue. If Al takes that same approach to his job as a senator he will be one the good ones. Besides, think of the ulcers Bill O and Rush will get from having to refer to Franken as Senator.
I’d have hit that in high school.
Monsieur Grumpe: Do you think for a second either has the respect for the government to refer to him as Senator? Here’s hoping Al subpoenas Bill to testify on a hearing about vibrators, or anything, and spend his entire questioning session having Bill refer to him as “Senator Franken” in various ways.
CorkPopper:
Of course you are correct, but in that tiny overlapping area at the heart of the Chess Club/Theater Club Venn diagram lies sweet bliss.
Of course it’s apparent why my social ‘life’ is so pathetic.
CorkPopper:
And the heart of the AV Club/Chess Club/Theater Club diagram?
He left me and I still cry.
How awesome would it be if Franken strided to his first address to the Senate holding his hand up to his forehead giving the “L” sign?
Truthfully, the MN DFL’s farm system has been a little weak in recent years. Amy Klobuchar is good, but Mark Dayton? Mike Hatch? Recycling Mondale to stand in for Wellstone (may peace be upon him)? Fortunately, there are some good people coming up now: Nick Coleman, RT Rybek, Paul Theissen. Dayton is probably a world record for awfulness: spent one self-financed term in the Senate, spoke to no one for six years, accomplished nothing, left in a deep depression. Now he wants to be governor (apparently new meds).
peachgirl:
Cindy? or was it Susan? Mindy? No, wait. I got it. Wilma! How ya doin?
Franken’s books are suprisingly great. If Limbaugh or OReily ever tried to go head to head with him and actually refute the things he wrote in those books, they would fail epically. Facts and research and footnotes and references are all impeccable. If Franken intends to bring that kind of well organized fight to the Senate, then we are all in good shape.
And now, to make this post Wonkette appropriate - TRUCKNUTZ. Also.
Toonces: Franken’s slogan was, “I’m the only New York Jew in the race who grew up in Minnesota.”
Countdown to Laurie Coleman divorce proceedings in five…four…three…two…
peachgirl: Ah, you’re better off. My high school band/theater/MIT-bound sweetheart broke my heart too, but I hear he’s a philandering asshole now. Not that I’m keeping track or anything.
DeLand DeLakes: It won’t happen. The mortgage on the house is bigger than what it’s worth so what would be the point?
Egads. He looks like one of those guys in high school that would mash all by himself in the quad and burn his arm hairs off using the lighter he pinched off his “old man”. I can just picture him emphasizing the “FRI” in “Friday” with a stupid stoner grin as he and his buddies snuck off to the bathroom to drop acid…
…God I wish I was cool enough to do drugs in high school.
Corckpopper: Yeah, but the drammies got laid ridiculously often. Granted, it was only with each other, and the smell of some of those kids makes that the kind of sex that would make you puke mid thrust. But at least the drammies in my high school were getting some twice as often as the most popular jocks…
…God I wish I was cool enough to have been a drammie in high school.
Young Norm bears a striking resemblance to the kid from Mask.
I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO: Meh. The only real advantage to drugs in high school was that they just made you forget calculus faster than you would have otherwise. Which makes room in your brain for more important facts like how to roll joints and which liquor stores aren’t likely to card.
Also…the drama folks were the sluttiest kids around, hands down. But is anyone surprised? After all, drama=art=ghey=buttsecs
I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO: True that. I have it on good authority (although sadly not from personal experience) that theater parties at one NYC university are basically orgies.
assistant/atlas: See those were skills I could have used later in life. It’s embarrassing for a thirty year old man to not know how to roll a joint or hit a bong.
Corkpopper: I don’t even think orgies exist. Come on! They’ve gotta be some kind of myth specifically designed to make me feel pathetic and jealous. Well you know what people? NO NEED! I’M PATHETIC ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
CorkPopper:
Philandering Asshole? Check!
Why was this so attractive? Oh yeah. Since the sexual revo-lu-tion came, there ARE no philandering assholes, babe. Having this item come off the checklist is one good thing (maybe the only good thing) about aging.
(Other things that left the list, like Shiny, Shiny Hair? are sadder.)
Monsieur Grumpe: How YOU doing? I used to look at you in HWC. We should have talked.
I’m pretty sure he used conditioner. What self-respecting guy-man used conditioner in high school? D’ya think he’s a tranny-wannabe?
saggyboobedhag: Not conditioner: sheen of youth. Very effective.
Wow. Turns out Franken is a Minnesota-bred candidate. While Norm is from Brooklyn (where he got that fakey Kennedy accent is anyone’s guess)…and from Mars (the evil side of the planet).
Where’s Silent Bob?
The Unfairman: I love Al Franken because he went to Iraq and Afghanistan when he didn’t have to….he went to entertain the troops, a LONG time before he ran for anything. Then he came back and raised a lot of money so they could have helmets and body armor that might actually save their lives, instead of the paper hats Rummy provided.
He’s also smart…and smart is good.
He also cries at the drop of a hat because he has actual feelings that aren’t bought and paid for by lobbyists.
His major drawback, I just don’t think he’s that funny.
The Unfairman: “Is Al Franken the one Democrat we’ve chosen to sacrifice so we can deny a liberal bias and appear to remain faire an bulunced?”
That would be Rod Blagojevich.
Internally valid: “Plus, you used to look like Hillary Swank’s retarded sister.”
FTW.
Cape Clod: She doesn’t live there anyway, what the fuck does she care?
I just hope that Norm Coleman gives up and moves on to a different state. I’m so sick of that man and his toothy grin. Also, I keep forgetting that he lost two Jesse Ventura for governor. God, that election was horrible as well.
Writing “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot” qualifies Franken for the funny hall of fame for the title alone.
Yah but, Minnesota is still the only state in the nation that has some kind of equal-opportunity clause about elections - “Not Just Electing Lawyers since 1929″…
Norm couldn’t get pussy on a troop train.
Fuckin’ hippie.