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THE INTERNET IS JUST WEIRD

‘Karl Rove Is Now Following You On Twitter’

Weird Times.
Yes, we sort of expected this, but it’s still a strange thing to see in the old Wonkette Tips box. Hello, Karl!


11:38 PM on Thu January 22 2009
By Ken Layne
1683 Views

  1. CivicHoliday says at 11:41 pm, January 22nd, 2009

    Oh noez! He will find and devour us!

  2. My, how quickly the mighty have fallen.

    From ruling the world through his ventriloquist’s dummy (Dubbya) two years ago to now monitoring Truck Nutz references.

    Nutz!

  3. satyricrash says at 11:43 pm, January 22nd, 2009

    THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE

  4. chascates says at 11:47 pm, January 22nd, 2009

    Karl, you don’t have Secret Service protection. You don’t have any protection.

    And you stand out in a crowd.

  5. He wants to know Barry’s secret internet connections.

  6. sanantonerose says at 11:53 pm, January 22nd, 2009

    Ken, this calls for no less than 15 ass fucking related blog post titles an hour.

  7. BTW - When are we going to talk about Barry’s new ginormous crackberry. Are we going to have to see that hanging on his belt?

  8. NoWireHangers says at 12:06 am, January 23rd, 2009

    As long as he doesn’t follow you into the bathroom. We all know what happens when Republicans do that…

  9. Nice, the evilest person of the decade is following your every move. Kudos!

  10. StrangelyBrown says at 12:13 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Yeah, well, in Soviet Union…

    …actually, it was just like this. Nevermind.

  11. Sandinista says at 12:15 am, January 23rd, 2009

    @ Karl Rove: There’s an episode of “American Dad” called “Deacon Stan, Jesus Man.” Watch it. You won’t be sorry. Or, at least, I won’t.

  12. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:16 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Shit! I don’t know if Bush should be blamed for Rove or Rove should be blamed for Bush. Please advise.
    My level of hopey is too skyrocketing to label this pair of shorts sane. “Transparency in the White House” has rendered me useless, and I’m inclined to believe I have developed a Hope Hemmoroid.

  13. chascates says at 12:20 am, January 23rd, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: As Capote wrote of the two murderers in In Cold Blood, the two combined to make a darker, more evil force than by themselves alone.

  14. MisterLoki says at 12:23 am, January 23rd, 2009

    My terror. Let me show it to you. Let me show you my terror.

  15. nyet, is when in Soviet America, Twitter follows you!

  16. sati demise says at 12:35 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Hope you get your brand new subpoena soon Karl.
    FOIA restored now buddy.

  17. gournay45@gmail.com says at 12:45 am, January 23rd, 2009

    And he will follow me to my carefully hidden tiger pit.

  18. chascates: Win.

  19. Karl. Please become a commenter. Seriously, the user name TortureGivesMeAHardOn is available, and we’re all very polite people ’round these parts.

  20. Heywood Floyd says at 1:13 am, January 23rd, 2009

    And with that, let the Photoshop This Gullet contest begin.

  21. Vipper of Vipp says at 1:17 am, January 23rd, 2009

    I’m kinda creeped out now.

  22. 2druk2phluq says at 2:02 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Karl, you fat cocksucker, it’s no surprise you couldn’t get enough of the people who hate you, but most masochistic pieces of human filth hide their secret desires more skillfully. Now be a good lad and shove your head right up your ass.

  23. satyricrash: That’s the second time today someone has stolen my comment. Damn you!!1!

  24. cal: Well, technically it was yesterday, but you get what I mean.

  25. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:25 am, January 23rd, 2009

    qaf: chascates:
    Chascates for the win. One cannot deny your “desire” to check out your blog though. You must be superhuman blog-whore interwebs. Or, you are dissolved terribly into the Palin administration in 2013. Where allllll da koool kidz r a8.

  26. SayItWithWookies says at 2:51 am, January 23rd, 2009

    It’s great that they get the Twitter in Den Haag now.

  27. Jukesgrrl says at 3:30 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Rove on Bush: “I can literally remember what he was wearing: an Air National Guard flight jacket, cowboy boots, blue jeans…. He was exuding more charisma than any one individual should be allowed to have.”

    I don’t think you want this stalking you on Twitter.

  28. hobospacejungle says at 4:29 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Chubby Rove is too much of a crybaby fattypants to post here. He can’t take all the mockery. Certainly he was one of the whiners crybabying to the new york times on the plane home about how mean that mean ol’ Obama was in his inaugural address to that giant of a man George W. Bush. He’d pee pee his skidmarked shorts the first time shortsshortsshorts gave him a love tap.

    It will be fun trying to guess what his screen name is, though, if we think he’s commenting. Or maybe THE MASTER POLITICAL GENIUS will use his mad skillz to turn us all against each other, with Wonkette officially going down the tubes with us all pointing at each other saying “I know YOU’RE Karl Rove, motherfucker,” ending with a volley of gunshots and KR walking out of the place grinning from ear to ear, with a mouthful of shit.

  29. I repeat the question: Karl who?

  30. Canuckledragger says at 6:30 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Yes, Karl, by all means join up and comment here. Perhaps you’d like to comment on this golden oldie:

    http://wonkette.com/292407/karl-roves-gay-dad-made-his-son-fall-in-love-with-jeff-gannon

    I’d also like to ask you some questions about Donald Segretti and the ratfuckers, and assorted other College Republicans who have disgraced the nation at your direction, or with your inspiration. ‘Coz this Bush shit is just the most recent of your life-long atrocities against the commonweal.

    Oh. And. FUCK YOU!

  31. sanantonerose says at 8:03 am, January 23rd, 2009

    chascates: Win win.

  32. Giant Robot says at 8:08 am, January 23rd, 2009

    What if I was Karl Rove all along and I was going to flame the living hell out of all of you but as I followed the blog I started to really love all you cuddly buttseks morans and I decided to change deep down in my heart and stop being an asshole and devote my lobbying firm to lifting the Cuban embargo… Then all the time you spend commenting would actually have done some good in the world, but it hasn’t because I’m not Karl Rove.

  33. regisgoat says at 8:27 am, January 23rd, 2009

    What better place for a twit than twitter?

  34. Jukesgrrl:

    That sounds like the opening voice over for Brokeback Mountain.

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  36. OReillysVibrator says at 9:20 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Ohh do you read comments too, Karl? I’d love to talk about your suicidal mom (could she tell the future or something?!) and your gay adoptive father (clearly Jeff Gannon’s predecessor into your anus).

  37. Schadenfried says at 9:25 am, January 23rd, 2009

    Did anyone else get a case of scabies by reading that?

  38. AHHAhahAhahAhahaaa…H I, K A R L !

    Oh, it’s all the fault of that damned liberal blog award. People will come, find the Altar of TruckNutz, and leave with dashed hopes or confirmed opinions.

  39. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 9:50 am, January 23rd, 2009

    As opposed to what Karl does to me: follow me around DC with a hot dog in his zipper…I think thats a hot dog.

  40. Carlo Wildwood says at 10:08 am, January 23rd, 2009

    We just found out who the Final Cylon is, and now we have to start wondering who’s Karl Rove in disguise?

  41. binarian says at 10:39 am, January 23rd, 2009

    So…..he’s in our 5 now?

  42. bonghitsforjesus says at 12:42 pm, January 23rd, 2009

    Dear Mr. Rove,
    By reading this post you have activated the sigil of doom I have implanted
    within every pixel bit and byte of Wonkette. That odd gnawing feeling in the
    pit of your huge belly represents the claws of the elder gods who are even now
    hollowing you out so they can more easily rend your degenerate carcass for
    their sick pleasure. Your petty cruelties shall pale to pasty white and will
    give your tortured mind no quarter as you are finally digested by Cthulhu
    over a thousand years.

    ttfn!

  43. Vanity Smurf says at 12:48 pm, January 23rd, 2009

    nom nom nom.

  44. Internally valid says at 1:39 pm, January 23rd, 2009

    Ha. This is a serious downgrade in his spying-for-political-gain operation. He used to have all sorts of wiretappies and sitch, but now all he has is Twitter. Not quite the same.

  45. Hedley Lamar says at 2:00 pm, January 23rd, 2009

    Hi Karl. Say hi to Jeff Gannon for me. Oh, and I hope you die.

  46. donner_froh says at 10:52 am, January 26th, 2009

    of course

    [b]of course[/b]

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