Politics magazine will release the results of their “2008 campaign poll of political insiders” this Thursday, but we already know the winner of one category: best ad of the presidential race. It is Hillary Clinton’s “3 a.m.” ad, the one about how Hillary Clinton was the only person who could answer a telephone at night without getting us all killed, or raped. Mark Penn was the “thrust” behind this successful ad, which you may have read about in any column Mark Penn has written since then. Hell, Mark Penn’s company even conducted this Politics poll, ha ha! No, seriously, that’s actually true. We can’t wait to see the winners of other categories, such as Best Thing Written (Microtrends), Worst Thorn In One’s Side (Harold Ickes/Patti Solis Doyle tie) and Best Floating Film Script In Hollywood (Microtrends Part I: Pages 1-74). [WP/The Fix]

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  1. I hope Barry calls Hillz at 3:00 am one night with some random question he could have figured out in 5 seconds on the State Department website.

  2. Fuck that man is ugly! Christ, can you imagine the genetic cocktail that must have occurred to bring that thing into this world? Who’s that at his side? Why is she not running in abject fear?

    When Carville said politics is hollywood for the ugly, he was talking about Mark Penn (Okay, and maybe a little bit about himself, too).

    Oh yeah, and Penn’s polling skillz blow. Tool.

  3. [re=226253]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Carville makes me think of those ads for sea monkeys where they kind of “anthropomorphize” the monkeys.

  4. [re=226253]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: imagine him naked!! imagine his kibbles ‘n bits danglin’ all around! sorry for emotional scars. just sayin’.

  5. [re=226263]WadISay[/re]:
    Hmmmm… Liz in Metal Bikini hmmmmm…

    Sorry, what was this topic about? Penn? That killed the, um, mood.

    If the PUMAs had any fucking sense Penn should be the most hated man in PUMA-dumb. Thanks to his “brillienze”, he killed the Hilsbot’s chance to be 44.

  6. I hope Barry calls Hillz at 3:00 am one night with some random question he could have figured out in 5 seconds on the State Department website.

    Or just to ask if her refrigerator is running.

    And conferences Mark “THE HUMAN MAGGOT” Penn in.

  7. tunamelt: Funny, I always get the feeling that some stupid kid didn’t realize it was after midnight when they fed their cool new pet from China Town when I see Carville.

    WadISay:Uga. Spasteelia a bunkadunka ha ha ha ha…

    sevenrepeat: I always wanted to know what it felt like when your soul throws up in its mouth. Thank you.

  8. MancuCandidate:Yeah, but Penn’s indistinguishable from 80% of the PUMAs out there, so things get confusing. (The other 20% are actually not allowed to be seen in the light of day according to most state and federal laws)

  9. According to the NPR web site for March 14, 2008:

    The Pennsylvania vote, he said, will be a “very significant test of who could really win the general election.”

    “We believe this will show Hillary is ready to win, and that Senator Obama really can’t win the general election,” Penn said.

    I love the way these pricks celebrate the IRRELEVANT.
    It is like complementing a terminal cancer patient
    on the wonderful set of fucking teeth that he has.

    Not to worry — this sack of shit, who wasn’t right
    about ANTYTHING in that election, will continue to
    collect huge consulting fees from gullible pols.

  10. Seeing terminally cute Liz in the company of these monsters is terrifying. I want to see her looking relaxed with those cute dorks from the Conchords. It would calm my estrogen levels.

  11. [re=226284]NunnaTheSOBs[/re]: After the storm, and the people of Pennsylvania had a few minutes to think about Mark Penn, they came to their senses. Let’s give them a Politico award for Most Improved Electorate.

  12. this picture of mark penn is strange. it’s almost like he’s not smiling *at* something, but *through* something … as if, an hour prior to this picture being taken, he came home early only to find his wife banging his (probably much more attractive) neighbor on the couch, but he still had to go and put on this tux and smile for sexy picture-time with liz.

    also, if you cross your eyes, a 3D pony appears! yay!

  13. I hope Mark Penn has to go on Judge Judy to get his last bit of cash out of Hillz. It would give the PUMAs a forum for democracy they could still understand in our new post-torture muslimocracy.

  14. What do you get when you cross Powellate your Colin? No, not a serated Palin, but a Mark Penn Pol Doll. That’s your free Pol Doll, take it and urinate with it.

  15. From some site via HuffPo:
    Confirmed: Kirsten Gillibrand Chosen to Fill Clinton’s Senate Seat

    Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand serves as U.S. Representative to New York’s Twentieth Congressional District, which stretches across the upstate counties of Saratoga, Dutchess, Columbia, Rensselaer, Washington, Warren, Delaware, Greene, Essex and Otsego.

  16. [re=226329]Mighty Rex[/re]: She’s started her new job at the Washington Times and I can bear the thought of her being pawed by the likes of that crowd.

  17. [re=226329]Mighty Rex[/re]: No worries Mighty, we Wonkette pervs have been ogling at her for ages. She’s got that sexy hipster thing down to a t.

  18. I had no idea Ken Dorfman (AKA “Flounder”) went into political consulting after leaving Faber College.

    And Liz: If you’re going to be stalking the wily D.C. Land Whale, be sure to take along a harpoon.

  19. [re=226304]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
    hear! hear!

    when is some “Hunter S. Thompson” of
    the new millinium going to “savage”
    the whole “political consultant” racket ?

    a mixed-race back bencher that nobody
    outside of Illinois knew about before
    2004, OUT-FOXED the whole fucking
    Clintonista Cabal —-

    she and this animated bucket of lard
    just ASSUMED that whites really were
    racist at heart, and that she could
    boldly, openly appeal to that presumed

    what they completely misjudged is the
    basic COMMON SENSE of the electorate —
    George W. Bush completely demolished
    the last brick in the edifice of
    “inate white superiority”, and she,
    taking her cue from Bucket Butt, thought
    she could appeal to what now lay in rubble.

    this prick, James Carville, and Begala
    shouldn’t be allowed near another

  20. My iTunes played this the instant I opened Wonkette and saw the picture. Honest.

    I went into a restaurant
    Lookin’ for the cook
    I told them I was the editor
    Of a famous etiquette book
    The waitress he was handsome
    He wore a powder blue cape
    I ordered some suzette, I said
    “Could you please make that crepe”
    Just then the whole kitchen exploded
    From boilin’ fat
    Food was flying everywhere
    And I left without my hat

  21. Now the NY Times is saying the Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, et al. musicale on the inauguration platform was previously recorded, due to the weather conditions.
    Is nothing sacred?

  22. No reason to pile on Penn. Everyone knows what he did and what he didn’t. The real question is if he ever works again let us pray it is for Jeb Bush. So let it be written so let him be written off.

  23. [re=226344]chascates[/re]: yeah … between that and the article about the former guantanamo detainee now serving as a chief al-qaida operative in yemen, it wasn’t the best nytimes homepage i’ve ever seen.

  24. I once tried to talk to this dweeb about an actual microtrend in NC, a state that could have proved pivotal in this election. He looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. Do you think he actually wrote that book?

  25. Everybody knows, baby’s got new clothes.

    Only Sarah Palin should answer the 3 a.m. phone call, because in Alaska, the ten o’clock news hasn’t even been shown yet. She’s still got her make-up on at that hour. OTOH, Hils would have to avoid the video call.

  26. Welcome to the Senate, Kristen! You wanna know how you can be a presidential contender in 2016? Push for investigations and prosecutions of Bush administration officials.
    If you do that, I will overlook the gun nonsense and write complimentary things about you on all the blogs.

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