About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Sarjo

    Oh my god…his father never died, after all!

  • Sassette

    If Obama manages to create lightsaber technology then I think we can officially call his Presidency a success. But if he starts wearing Jedi robes all bets are off!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    He will be caught up in a sex scandal when pics of him fisting Malibu Barbie hit the Internet. BTW: have you seen the Sasha & Malia Beanie Babies? No Ghetto Barbie for Michelle–where’s the love, toy manufacturers?

  • bhosp

    You can’t win, Dick; if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    HOW BIG are those hands, anyway…?

  • freakishlystrong

    I shudder to think where poor Barry doll will end up in the hands of male Republicans, good thing his shoes are nice….

  • Serolf Divad

    Sarah, I know you’re a ladykind and all, but they’re called “action figures” not “dolls.”

  • ja

    he look like he’s about to Whup Darth Vader’s ASS right there.

  • Noocular Jane

    No one ever told me Barry had a wide stance… this changes everything?

  • Doglessliberal

    Dammit! The site that sells it (maybe) is all in Japanese. It might be saying Barry is a Muslin Terrorist who uses kung fu, or it might be asking me to send my $29.95 via Visa. I want one!

  • WhatTheHeck

    The earlier editions came with a prayer rug and a map of Mecca.

  • Min

    “Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.”
    “Bite me, Cheney.”

  • actor212

    Interchangeable hands?

    Enter, The Dragon!

  • shanemacgowan

    The doll comes with “katanas, 9mm gun, assault rifle, and a lightsaber.” Our country would be a better place if the real Barry had pulled out these accessories during his interview with Bill O’Reilly.

    Oh and [re=225886]Sarjo[/re]: very nice. I just hope that we don’t learn that Hillary Clinton is his sister five years into his presidency.

  • actor212

    [re=225892]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Those were leftovers from the Ann…oops. Forgot we can’t say Coultergeist’s name here.

  • magic titty

    Why are his pants jacked up to his nipples? Is it Urkel?

  • AxmxZ

    Love the dorky high waist on the pants. Very in-character.

  • Merry Christen

    Oh, christ, the nerds (and Republicans!) will have a field day with this one. it’s gonna be right up there with the Baby Jesus Butt Plug ™…. I can’t get that thing out of my mind!!

  • WhatTheHeck

    American Girl dolls are now singing “Big Hands, you’re the one.”

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Bah. Barry has nothing, I say, NOTHING against the true power of Anthony Giddens and Michel Foucault. Muahahahahahaha!

  • chascates

    Vadar looks more like Scalia than Cheney, albeit a very skinny Scalia.

  • Servo

    When does he fight the Sand Ni-…uh, People?

  • hockeymom

    Darth looks like he’s sporting leggings from the Lindsay Lohan collection.

  • WadISay

    If you have a Barbie Doll at home, this will make its nipples hard.

  • snideinplainsight

    Can somebody please start a thread where I can make a joke about Hillary arriving at “Foggy Bottom”?

  • Aurelio

    Darth should get back in his wheelchair. Or Barack should get into one. Let’s have a level playing field.

  • Servo

    A Sith Lord lashing out about gay stormtroopers.

  • Sussemilch

    Help me, Obama-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!

  • Servo

    Where’s Boba Plumber?

  • magic titty

    [re=225935]Servo[/re]: You’re fucking epic at this.

    Also, I totally want like six Barry action figures. I’m not even kidding.

  • MisterGotRox

    Barry vs. Cheney. Barry in 6.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=225924]WadISay[/re]: Haha, Barbie dolls don’t have nipples. (I checked)

  • Rush


    or a Richard Simmons doll

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …oh gawd, now Im fantasizing of Michelle in the princess Leia slave girl outfit and hair do!

  • AxmxZ

    [re=225941]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: First fisting, now incest…

  • Merry Christen

    [re=225941]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’m SURE you’re not the only one…

  • Servo

    Thanks for the image. *reaches for Jergen’s*

  • Rush

    Has anyone else noticed that the amount of posts on a given Wonkette article is proportional to the sillyness of the photo? Pictures good – words bad.

  • sevenrepeat

    i see his schwartz is as big as mine!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and is the placement of Barry’s “light-saber” purely coincidental? I think not!

  • Violenza

    Why does the doll’s teeth look more like John McCain’s? Li’l rotten Chiclets. If it weren’t for the teeth, I would have ordered 20 by now.

  • Violenza

    [re=225957]Violenza[/re]: Does, do, whatever it is.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Let’s hope he’s not hung like Ken.

  • DeLand DeLakes

    [re=225894]Serolf Divad[/re]: Nope, sorry. The term “action figures” was invented simply to convince young boys and grown nerds that miniature humanoid toys are not “dolls,” and that they are not therefore “gay” for playing with them.

  • NoWireHangers

    I can’t wait until my new Kung-Fu grip Barack Obama action figure meets Michelle Obama Barbie! It’ll be the porn I always wanted but they never released!

  • sevenrepeat

    i noticed his barackberry is missing from the accessories

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=225968]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: And I’m here to tell you that this little linguistic experiment FAILED. (::Still remembers having fantasies on seeing the original, circa 1978 Luke Skywalker action figure from Mattel::)

  • actor212

    If you pull the string on his back, does he raise a microphone to his mouth and yell, “If you smelllllllllllllllllllll-el! What! Barack! Is! Cooking!”

  • actor212

    [re=225941]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Thanks for sharing, man. I had just gotten over the…well, nevermind.

  • Giant Robot

    Can I program it to attack anyone who thinks Benjamin Button was a good movie?

  • Mahousu

    You can actually order this from jokeshop.co.jp:

    The price (Y8,980) is unbeatable. Oh, and there’s a McCain figure, too!

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=226045]Giant Robot[/re]: If you can, I am SO buying that doll

  • Mahousu

    [re=226049]Mahousu[/re]: Oh, rats, I tried ordering it, and got a message that they weren’t taking any more orders over the web, but that it might be available in the store itself. Well, that’s a little far for a shopping trip.

  • ja

    B. Button gets a little better about three days after you’ve left the theatre.

  • actor212

    [re=226114]ja[/re]: So does gonorrhea.

  • ja

    it was that god-damn little hummingbird man

  • DeLand DeLakes

    [re=225982]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: There’s a reason why my Dad wouldn’t let me have the Michael Jackson “action figure,” after all!

  • Vipper of Vipp

    The shoes are nicely detailed, but that is the biggest shirt pocket I have ever seen.

  • SwanSwanH

    “Dolfin” shorts. They were sweet.

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    If only it came with an Indiana Jones whip too….