About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hola wonkerados.

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60 comments

  1. Sassette

    If Obama manages to create lightsaber technology then I think we can officially call his Presidency a success. But if he starts wearing Jedi robes all bets are off!

  2. Texan Bulldoggette

    He will be caught up in a sex scandal when pics of him fisting Malibu Barbie hit the Internet. BTW: have you seen the Sasha & Malia Beanie Babies? No Ghetto Barbie for Michelle–where’s the love, toy manufacturers?

  3. bhosp

    You can’t win, Dick; if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

  4. freakishlystrong

    I shudder to think where poor Barry doll will end up in the hands of male Republicans, good thing his shoes are nice….

  5. Serolf Divad

    Sarah, I know you’re a ladykind and all, but they’re called “action figures” not “dolls.”

  6. Doglessliberal

    Dammit! The site that sells it (maybe) is all in Japanese. It might be saying Barry is a Muslin Terrorist who uses kung fu, or it might be asking me to send my $29.95 via Visa. I want one!

  7. shanemacgowan

    The doll comes with “katanas, 9mm gun, assault rifle, and a lightsaber.” Our country would be a better place if the real Barry had pulled out these accessories during his interview with Bill O’Reilly.

    Oh and [re=225886]Sarjo[/re]: very nice. I just hope that we don’t learn that Hillary Clinton is his sister five years into his presidency.

  8. actor212

    [re=225892]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Those were leftovers from the Ann…oops. Forgot we can’t say Coultergeist’s name here.

  9. Merry Christen

    Oh, christ, the nerds (and Republicans!) will have a field day with this one. it’s gonna be right up there with the Baby Jesus Butt Plug ™…. I can’t get that thing out of my mind!!

  10. snideinplainsight

    Can somebody please start a thread where I can make a joke about Hillary arriving at “Foggy Bottom”?

  11. Aurelio

    Darth should get back in his wheelchair. Or Barack should get into one. Let’s have a level playing field.

  12. magic titty

    [re=225935]Servo[/re]: You’re fucking epic at this.

    Also, I totally want like six Barry action figures. I’m not even kidding.

  13. AngryBlakGuy

    …oh gawd, now Im fantasizing of Michelle in the princess Leia slave girl outfit and hair do!

  14. Rush

    Has anyone else noticed that the amount of posts on a given Wonkette article is proportional to the sillyness of the photo? Pictures good – words bad.

  15. Violenza

    Why does the doll’s teeth look more like John McCain’s? Li’l rotten Chiclets. If it weren’t for the teeth, I would have ordered 20 by now.

  16. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=225894]Serolf Divad[/re]: Nope, sorry. The term “action figures” was invented simply to convince young boys and grown nerds that miniature humanoid toys are not “dolls,” and that they are not therefore “gay” for playing with them.

  17. NoWireHangers

    I can’t wait until my new Kung-Fu grip Barack Obama action figure meets Michelle Obama Barbie! It’ll be the porn I always wanted but they never released!

  18. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=225968]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: And I’m here to tell you that this little linguistic experiment FAILED. (::Still remembers having fantasies on seeing the original, circa 1978 Luke Skywalker action figure from Mattel::)

  19. actor212

    If you pull the string on his back, does he raise a microphone to his mouth and yell, “If you smelllllllllllllllllllll-el! What! Barack! Is! Cooking!”

  20. actor212

    [re=225941]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Thanks for sharing, man. I had just gotten over the…well, nevermind.

  21. Mahousu

    [re=226049]Mahousu[/re]: Oh, rats, I tried ordering it, and got a message that they weren’t taking any more orders over the web, but that it might be available in the store itself. Well, that’s a little far for a shopping trip.

  22. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=225982]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: There’s a reason why my Dad wouldn’t let me have the Michael Jackson “action figure,” after all!

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