Wonkette
Ha ha dorks you will surely cream your Dolphin shorts over this glorious new creation! It is a Barack Obama with “interchangeable hands,” which sounds scary but awesome. It will do literally anything you want it to do, including fisting. [Gizmodo]
BUT CAN YOU HAVE SEX WITH IT?
Oh my god…his father never died, after all!
If Obama manages to create lightsaber technology then I think we can officially call his Presidency a success. But if he starts wearing Jedi robes all bets are off!
He will be caught up in a sex scandal when pics of him fisting Malibu Barbie hit the Internet. BTW: have you seen the Sasha & Malia Beanie Babies? No Ghetto Barbie for Michelle–where’s the love, toy manufacturers?
You can’t win, Dick; if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
HOW BIG are those hands, anyway…?
I shudder to think where poor Barry doll will end up in the hands of male Republicans, good thing his shoes are nice….
Sarah, I know you’re a ladykind and all, but they’re called “action figures” not “dolls.”
he look like he’s about to Whup Darth Vader’s ASS right there.
No one ever told me Barry had a wide stance… this changes everything?
Dammit! The site that sells it (maybe) is all in Japanese. It might be saying Barry is a Muslin Terrorist who uses kung fu, or it might be asking me to send my $29.95 via Visa. I want one!
The earlier editions came with a prayer rug and a map of Mecca.
“Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.”
“Bite me, Cheney.”
Interchangeable hands?
Enter, The Dragon!
The doll comes with “katanas, 9mm gun, assault rifle, and a lightsaber.” Our country would be a better place if the real Barry had pulled out these accessories during his interview with Bill O’Reilly.
Oh and Sarjo: very nice. I just hope that we don’t learn that Hillary Clinton is his sister five years into his presidency.
Toomush Infermashun: Those were leftovers from the Ann…oops. Forgot we can’t say Coultergeist’s name here.
Why are his pants jacked up to his nipples? Is it Urkel?
Fail.
Love the dorky high waist on the pants. Very in-character.
Oh, christ, the nerds (and Republicans!) will have a field day with this one. it’s gonna be right up there with the Baby Jesus Butt Plug ™…. I can’t get that thing out of my mind!!
American Girl dolls are now singing “Big Hands, you’re the one.”
Bah. Barry has nothing, I say, NOTHING against the true power of Anthony Giddens and Michel Foucault. Muahahahahahaha!
Vadar looks more like Scalia than Cheney, albeit a very skinny Scalia.
When does he fight the Sand Ni-…uh, People?
Darth looks like he’s sporting leggings from the Lindsay Lohan collection.
If you have a Barbie Doll at home, this will make its nipples hard.
Can somebody please start a thread where I can make a joke about Hillary arriving at “Foggy Bottom”?
Darth should get back in his wheelchair. Or Barack should get into one. Let’s have a level playing field.
A Sith Lord lashing out about gay stormtroopers.
Help me, Obama-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!
Where’s Boba Plumber?
Servo: You’re fucking epic at this.
Also, I totally want like six Barry action figures. I’m not even kidding.
Barry vs. Cheney. Barry in 6.
WadISay: Haha, Barbie dolls don’t have nipples. (I checked)
WadISay:
or a Richard Simmons doll
…oh gawd, now Im fantasizing of Michelle in the princess Leia slave girl outfit and hair do!
AngryBlakGuy: First fisting, now incest…
AngryBlakGuy: I’m SURE you’re not the only one…
AngryBlakGuy:
Thanks for the image. *reaches for Jergen’s*
Has anyone else noticed that the amount of posts on a given Wonkette article is proportional to the sillyness of the photo? Pictures good - words bad.
i see his schwartz is as big as mine!
…and is the placement of Barry’s “light-saber” purely coincidental? I think not!
Why does the doll’s teeth look more like John McCain’s? Li’l rotten Chiclets. If it weren’t for the teeth, I would have ordered 20 by now.
Violenza: Does, do, whatever it is.
Let’s hope he’s not hung like Ken.
Serolf Divad: Nope, sorry. The term “action figures” was invented simply to convince young boys and grown nerds that miniature humanoid toys are not “dolls,” and that they are not therefore “gay” for playing with them.
I can’t wait until my new Kung-Fu grip Barack Obama action figure meets Michelle Obama Barbie! It’ll be the porn I always wanted but they never released!
i noticed his barackberry is missing from the accessories
DeLand DeLakes: And I’m here to tell you that this little linguistic experiment FAILED. (::Still remembers having fantasies on seeing the original, circa 1978 Luke Skywalker action figure from Mattel::)
If you pull the string on his back, does he raise a microphone to his mouth and yell, “If you smelllllllllllllllllllll-el! What! Barack! Is! Cooking!”
AngryBlakGuy: Thanks for sharing, man. I had just gotten over the…well, nevermind.
Can I program it to attack anyone who thinks Benjamin Button was a good movie?
You can actually order this from jokeshop.co.jp:
http://shop.yumetenpo.jp/goods/d/jokeshop.co.jp/g/USPE08BO/index.shtml
The price (Y8,980) is unbeatable. Oh, and there’s a McCain figure, too!
Giant Robot: If you can, I am SO buying that doll
Mahousu: Oh, rats, I tried ordering it, and got a message that they weren’t taking any more orders over the web, but that it might be available in the store itself. Well, that’s a little far for a shopping trip.
B. Button gets a little better about three days after you’ve left the theatre.
ja: So does gonorrhea.
it was that god-damn little hummingbird man
queeraselvis v 2.0: There’s a reason why my Dad wouldn’t let me have the Michael Jackson “action figure,” after all!
The shoes are nicely detailed, but that is the biggest shirt pocket I have ever seen.
“Dolfin” shorts. They were sweet.
If only it came with an Indiana Jones whip too….