• May 27, 2012

Here’s Obama’s Secret ‘Real Oath’ That Never Took Place Because This Picture Is Fraudulent & Communist

by Jim Newell  1:28 pm January 22, 2009

Oh, well this could be a picture of ANYTHING. Obama is still not president, everyone. You can’t have your official witness of a second oath be a painting of television’s Patrick Duffy. (He frequently lies.) [NYT/White House]

{ 82 comments }

Schadenfried January 22, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I see Roberts’ bald spot.

Godot January 22, 2009 at 1:31 pm

What about the photographer, Pete Souza? He’s a witness!

skroocap January 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm

where’s the BIBLE – er – koran?

shortsshortsshorts January 22, 2009 at 1:34 pm

hee didint git it rite on teh 20eth soo hee aint presdint.

bitchincamaro January 22, 2009 at 1:34 pm

The joke’s on Roberts; Barry had his fingers crossed. Beeaaatch!

BarthexDeRosa January 22, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Not even if the guy in the black robe is obviously Larry Hagman?

CrunchyKnee January 22, 2009 at 1:34 pm

What no American Bible or a Muslin Koran?!!!!111?

hockeymom January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Where’s the Bible, people?
He can’t be president because there was NO BIBLE.
I heard it on FOX.

Fivetree January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

That’s Patrick Duffy? So, does that mean that Barry wakes up a year from now and realizes that the past year has all been a dream?

randomsausage January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

“Now repeat after me, ‘I am a dick-weed chief justice’”.

PrairiePossum January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Ooopsy Daisy! Forgot the hand on the Bible business. Take three?

lawrenceofthedesert January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Everybody sing: “Five dollar, five dollar foot-longs!”

lenorecutie January 22, 2009 at 1:35 pm

They’re not doing the oath. They’re greeting each other in Long Ranger fashion.

“How Kimosabi”

hockeymom January 22, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=225760]skroocap[/re]: [re=225767]CrunchyKnee[/re]: I’m too slow. Sad.

lenorecutie January 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=225773]lenorecutie[/re]:Um… Lone Ranger

Canmon (the Inadequate) January 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm

John Roberts has giant hands.

sevenrepeat January 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm

i have that same picture on my drivers license!!

facehead January 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm

The correct caption is:

“Most awkward high-five ever”

NoWireHangers January 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

FOUR YEARS of President Obama. Wow. It’s still sinking in. It feels great.

AxmxZ January 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

How does Barry look 50 in some pictures and 25 in others? Is it dependant on mood or something? Does he spontaneously age two decades before everyone’s eyes when he’s sad?

Origami January 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

You know Roberts is just dying for Obama to lean in and kiss him.

SpikeyDog January 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Just a high five. “We sure fooled them yesterday. Wait till they find out Biden in the real Prez.”

The Cold Sea January 22, 2009 at 1:41 pm

We haz an atheirst preznit! No Bayble!

Violenza January 22, 2009 at 1:41 pm

No way. Patrick Duffy has way better hair than that.

trondant January 22, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Actually, I think they’re laughing about how they went to Albany together last year and asked Paterson to high-five them.

shortsshortsshorts January 22, 2009 at 1:43 pm

There’s something papal and therefore creepy about this photo.

sevenrepeat January 22, 2009 at 1:44 pm

i think they’re really just checking on who would be a better finger donor for former French President Jacques Chirac in case his dog bites off one of his digits. unfortunately their fingers are not long enough.

PopeyesPipe January 22, 2009 at 1:45 pm

The old Harpo and Lucy routine.

S.Luggo January 22, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Roberts was allowed to use a telepromter this time. In the photo, he’s reading the weather.

hockeymom January 22, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[re=225792]trondant[/re]: Sadly, Simon Cowell did NOT give Patterson a golden ticket to Hollywood.

shanemacgowan January 22, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Barry’s giving the CJ a terrorist hand slap.

friendlyskies January 22, 2009 at 1:55 pm

I can’t believe we have a POTUS not sworn in using a Middle Eastern book that advocates monarchy, slavery, and stoning unwed mothers to death without trial. What has America come to?

fillintheblank January 22, 2009 at 1:58 pm

variation on Airplane II…

Justice Roberts: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States blah blah blah, so help you God?
Obama: Ain’t no thing.
[he slaps the Roberts' non-existent Bible and Roberts uses his non-existent Bible to slap Obama's hand]

Lucas Burch January 22, 2009 at 2:00 pm

It’s really the secret Skull & Bones handshake now that Barry is allowed into the club.

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 22, 2009 at 2:01 pm

It’s the 21st century. Surely we can get electric lights installed in the White House and replace those candles.

Monsieur Grumpe January 22, 2009 at 2:02 pm

It’s the “live long and prosper” version for the uncoordinated.

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 22, 2009 at 2:02 pm

And Roberts, also.

Sassette January 22, 2009 at 2:03 pm

“You know, John, they say if your hand is bigger than your face it means you’re deformed…”

Cape Clod January 22, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Did a mason witness it? It’s no good unless a mason was present.

Servo January 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=225812]fillintheblank[/re]:
The testimony was comedy gold.

user-of-owls January 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=225815]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Change freak!

AngryBlakGuy January 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm

…why am I imagining Barry saying “What did the 5 fingers say to the face?!”

user-of-owls January 22, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=225823]Cape Clod[/re]: They deported the mason. The dishwasher too.

DoctorCulturae January 22, 2009 at 2:08 pm

After completing the oath Barry said “Now get outta here and quit wasting my time. And the next time we do this I want you in here the day before for a rehearsal! Rahm?”
Rahm: “Consider it done Mr. President.”

magic titty January 22, 2009 at 2:11 pm

He is afraid of Barry. As is Barry Lyndon, in the background there.

sevenrepeat January 22, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=225823]Cape Clod[/re]: i think the mason is working for turbo tax tim now. i guess he heard the job pays $34,000.

DoctorCulturae January 22, 2009 at 2:17 pm

And Patrick Duffy? I’m thinking more a young David Morse:

http://www.davidmorse.org/tv/images/Prototype.jpg

Carlo Wildwood January 22, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Fivetree: How about the past eight years?

TeddyS January 22, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Quick, run this by Chris Wallace over at Faux news to see if I’m the President yet.

jagorev January 22, 2009 at 2:21 pm

I can’t believe that no one has blingee’d that picture yet. You people are slacking.

NYNYNY January 22, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=225767]CrunchyKnee[/re]: When the oath was over Obama took his left hand out of his pocket, which had been holding a small skin-bound copy of Alistair Crowley’s ‘Tome of the Daemon.’ It had all been a brilliant ruse!

donner_froh January 22, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Why does Roberts dress up in his black robe? Especially since it is a semi-formal swearing in with the host in a business suit. Does he wear it all the time?

Purple Tide January 22, 2009 at 2:32 pm

[re=225841]NYNYNY[/re]: Baby skin?

Min January 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm

“Now that the oath is done, Mr. President, high five me!”

ChasingUtley January 22, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Obama doesn’t need a Bible because he IS Jeebus.

Rush January 22, 2009 at 2:44 pm

is them playing “patty-cake-patty-cake-muslim-man”

Rush January 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Servo January 22, 2009 at 2:51 pm

I thought it’s supposed to be both hands…against the wall.

Toomush Infermashun January 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm

I’m pretty sure it was: “Simon sez hop on your left foot and hold your right hand in the air. Now wiggle your fingers…”

And Hopey was all: “Nope. Simon didn’t say wiggle your fingers…

President Beeblebrox January 22, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Let’s see… the most the Foxtards have on Obama is that Roberts goofed the oath and they had a do-over.

OTOH, we Libtards have Bush for taking office on a 537-vote plurality in Florida, which was essentially awarded to him by the Supreme Court, resulting in weirdness and illegitimacy and all that.

Sounds like we Libtards have the Foxtards beat on this. We are, after all, the elite thinkers of our time.

Aquannissiwamissoo January 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Why doesn’t Roberts just call him “slave” and get it over with?

You know that’s what he wants to say.

Chief Grinning Eagle January 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Got any otherwise unadmissible evidence around I can serendipitously stumble upon?

sarcasticusername January 22, 2009 at 3:11 pm

the press corps went apeshit on poor robert gibbs over this, i laughed out loud when one guy kept whining that this photo was taken by the white house photographer rather than a press photographer. clearly this is just the latest propaganda to help hopey get on with his fake presidency; those press nuts sounded like rush limbaugh going on about what conspiracies lurk behind this photo.

sarcasticusername January 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

oh and best press conference idiocy, came from the loser that was upset that only 4 pool reporters witnessed this moment, clearly that was something ominous as well.

magic titty January 22, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=225873]Servo[/re]: Win, obviously.

Merry Christen January 22, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=225828]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: SLAP, beyotch!!! I personally would have been tickled shitless to see Obama lay a mean smack upside that cracker’s head. “That’s Justice for ya, ya retrofuck religionistic freak in a dress!!!”

persiflage January 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Do not be deceived. They were actually in the middle of this dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgnCB7oni8o

DarkSynergy January 22, 2009 at 3:30 pm

It’s all good guys, reciting the oath verbatim doesn’t matter. I fucked up my vows at my wedding and its lasted. Well, no. No it didn’t. I was divorced after 3 years. Barry will be impeached/jihaded within 36 months!

Deepthroat January 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm
plowman January 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm

So what, Libtards claim we didn’t have a legitimate president from January 2001 until January 2005 (and some aren’t sure about the four years after), now it’s their turn for illegitimacy…

blinky_twinkie January 22, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=225950]Deepthroat[/re]: Aretha Franklin’s bow has taken it’s rightful place!

OffTheRecord January 22, 2009 at 3:58 pm

[re=225950]Deepthroat[/re]: Oh my god. It looks like Barry is wearing Aretha’s inauguration hat. I love it!

sanantonerose January 22, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Patrick Duffy??!! I didn’t think it possible, Jim Newell, but I love you even more now.

Jamie Sommers January 22, 2009 at 4:15 pm

[re=225769]Fivetree[/re]: With any luck, Roberts wakes up and realizes it was just a dream

Toomush Infermashun January 22, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Deepthroat, that’s one evil Blingee Win..!

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 22, 2009 at 4:25 pm

While you can’t see it in the photo, they are both standing on a prayer rug, which is why they didn’t need the Lincoln Koran for this one.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 22, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Actually, they were very careful to do things right this time, and even said the Oath in the Original Aramaic:

Roberts:Es ist Zeit für Rache!

Obama:Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!

Atheist Nun January 22, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Sure it’s dumb, but what choice did Obama have, really? If he didn’t take the oath again, he’d risk another Katrina-like flood… this time caused by the slack-jawed drool from about 3 million wild-eyed, paranoid, mouthbreathing RepubTards.

Madaloon January 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm

It’s just like Pat predicted: Lots of high fives. The fun starts at the top, apparently.

Felicia January 22, 2009 at 11:50 pm

So now I know what my grandma was talking about on the phone tonight: “I wish they would just shut up about him already– they even swored him in twice!” I’m glad to be able to remove one item from the evidence of incipient dementia list.

Edywin January 23, 2009 at 1:07 am

Now touch your fingers to your nose, and repeat the alphabet backward. OK, Chief Justice, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say, out of your drunken, neo-con, Haavard educated mouth can and will be taken down as a dissenting opinion wunst I get MY court packing going. BTW, how is Alito’s asthma doing? I hear its real hard for him to breathe now without his special vaporizer, heh heh heh.

AngelaB January 25, 2009 at 9:18 pm

They’re facing Mecca.

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