Wonkette
Norm Coleman, the humanoid Flowbee and lizard-king who represented Minnesota in the Senate, once, would like to be a senator again but the nasty courts are still legislating from the bench. So while he waits for whatever legal stuff to confirm that he is, in fact, a loser, he has taken a(nother) new, awesomer job.
Yes, America! There is still a single job left to be had in this country, and Norm Coleman took it.
He will be a consultant and strategic advisor to the Republican Jewish Coalition — a group so powerful that it managed to persuade a full 21 percent of Jewish voters to go for McCain in the 2008 presidential election. Norm Coleman will only add to their sterling lineup.
Coleman takes a job [Ben Smith]
Lots of elbow room at their balls.
“Coleman would boost the group’s fundraising by tapping into his own network of donors.”
Insert standard juvenile Republican sex scandal joke.
Did Caroline Kennedy get shafted for this one too?!?
Perhaps the Republican Jewish Coalition needs a new kitchen.
Eh, it pays the bills. See ya Norm. Don’t let that wife of your cuckold you too often now.
Yes, the Jewish vote has always been really important in…. Minnesota?
I am very surprised !!
Wait, ….I’m not.
The Republican Jewish Coalition would have done better at flipping voters, but who can get out in this humidity?
Was this gig posted on Monster? Cuz I didn’t see shit …
Going off the picture, I was going to guess he was rehearsing for his role in a stage production of beloved nineties sitcom “Home Improvement.” But, no, Republican Jewish Coalition. That’s cool too.
shanemacgowan: I read this as saying he will re-finance his house a 13th time.
Great–he takes illegal money from Iranian businessmen and now works for the pro-Israel lobby….
He wants to move to Florida, where all the Republican Jews live, so he can be close to his new constituancy. Who can blame him? Minnesota in January…or Florida?
…Joe the “shyt for brains” Plumber must be pissed!
Lets see, I think the pool does need a bit more algae cleaner added. That will be $1000 dollars for my consulting fee. Call anytime, my schedule looks pretty open for the next 6 years.
grendel:
I couldn’t make that connection, either.
…“Strategic Advisor”? Hopefully this position requires him to relocate to the Gaza strip and wear a bulls-eye on his chest.
I could post a comment that is nothing more than me yelling “Norm!”, as a reference to an old teevee show I never watched, but I would get banned, and then beaten, aka “tenderized”, and roasted and fed to the lovely Sara K. Smith with some fine wine and delicious bread side dish. My point is, “Norm!”
“A pessimist, confronted with two bad choices, chooses both.”
Ah, who can forget the “Blo & Go”?
http://wonkette.com/343443/senator-norm-colemans-wife-now-available-for-blo–go
Humanoid Flowbees everywhere resent the comparison between them and this reject from “V.”
They are actually showing him at his new job in the picture. He stands at a picket fence on Nicolet Mall in downtown Minneapolis, saying: “You look jewish. Come here. No, closer. Right up to the picket fence. That’s right. We’re like neighbors here, and that’s comforting. Now let me tell you about why we need to strategically control the oil production and distribution in the world in order to protect Isreal…”
Also, politicians should travel with their own picket fences. They’d get a lot more votes if they were always glad-handing over a picket fence.
Pictured above: Norm Coleman explains to bearded man how he caught his penis in picket fence. repeated use of the term “splinter” is used throughout.
Didn’t he just lose to a Jew? Does this mean Bush is going to be a strategic adviser to the Muslin Republican Coalition?
Norm needs a brick wall. That picket fence will never be able to hide his shame.
This guy is remarkably douchey-looking, even for politicians. He looks like scientists tried to clone John Kerry but accidentally dropped fecal matter into the test tube.
The Republican Jewish Coalition? I thought that was Lieberman’s gig.
WadISay:
Here’s the article of Coleman’s housing financial fiasco. All those girl friends and high maintenance wife can’t be cheap. This just might be the closest thing he’s had to a real job.
http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/senate/37369749.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUl
He’s not only a loser, he’s a loser in 3-D. **makes appropriate forehead gesture**
Oy that was a lotta snow!
Wow, he must really have a lot of confidence in his eventual…oh waitaminnit…
cal: Blo(w) and go is a term used by some prostitutes in the Midwest, abbreviated BNG. Other terms are “Knock and rock” and the more prosaic “French quickie”.
Or so I have heard
Their inaugural ball was off the chain. I took a pic with Ron Silver and Snow brought the house down.
Norm Coleman = The Greatest Schlep
I attended a debate between the head of the Republican Jewish Commission in California and some random Jewish guy picked up off the street. At any rate, all the RJC dude could talk about was how awesome it was to torture Muslims and how anyone who was against invading Iraq is a big pussy. In case you goyim don’t know, these sort of messages do not resonate with the Jewish community at large, and the one in Oakland in particular. Many people got up and angrily stormed out. The attendees were all extremely verklempt.
My point: the RJC’s outreach is awesome and with Coleman at the helm, expect that 21% to plunge to single digits in the next election.
you cannot be serious: The juxtaposition of “elbows” and “balls” makes me instictively cover mine.
grendel: Somehow, that Senate seat has been held by one Jew or another since 1980 — Boschwitz, then (the sorely missed) Wellstone, then Coleman. Go figure.
Republican Jewish Coalition: Does this mean he gets to pork Pam Gellar?
“Why is it that everything important in Minnesota come only from their 1% Jewish population?” - Bob Dylan
Norm Takes a Job, the latest lost book by Dr. Suess.
Kingbee:
This is ’cause Jews are not required to wear those silly Viking helmets with the golden pigtails like everyone else in MN. This makes them appear more serious then their goyim counterparts.
Coleman is taking over the position from Bernie Madoff, who retired recently.
I just got the invite to Norm’s Briss on the 29th.
What a bag of crap this guy is. Slack mouthed poor looser. A Bush lap dog trying to find another master to suck.
grendel: Sad but true, Grendel. In the shitty strip mall of a Minnesota town in which I grew up, I knew exactly two Jewish kids. This town of 60,000 has no temple, and the kids at the local state university still amuse themselves by drawing swastikas in the john. Scarab: Yet you are still 100% right on about the 1%. Must be all the oppression that drives them to succeed.
Norm Coleman is the Baby Jane Hudson of the Senate.
grendel: Despite Minnesota’s relatively small Jewish population, we’ve ended up with a Designated Jewish Senator seat: Coleman, Franken, Paul Wellstone, Rudy Boschwitz. One of the reasons Wellstone defeated Boschwitz was because Boschwitz sent his Jewish supporters a letter claiming that he was a “better Jew” than Wellstone, a letter that offended practically everybody.
The political news here in Minnesota has two topics: 1) How the state is broke, and 2) How Norm Coleman is willing to spend an infinite amount of the state’s nonexistent money “to count every vote from people who would otherwise be disenfranchised.” Of course, last month Coleman’s strategy was to spend an infinite amount of the state’s money on guaranteeing that those votes would NOT be counted. Thank you, Norm, for being such a conscientious guardian of the taxpayers’ money.
shanemacgowan: Tap, tap, tap.
There. Done.
Scarab: Plus the Coen Brothers.
Jill7: Minus Prince, unless he converts, which wouldn’t surprise me.
Republican Jewish Coalition: The most descriptive definition of a schande ever created!
The important question is will Norm’s new job allow his wife to continue to live apart from him in California?
This can’t be a legit hire. Does anyone believe the Jewish Coalition needs Norm Coleman to buy Republicans wholesale? Come on people, you think they can’t figure the upfront savings against the costs of warehousing the irritating bastards until they’re back in office?
Better to pay retail for Democrats, they got a nice selection and they’re in stock. They may seem a little pricey, but there’s no risk of being completely disappointed when you need them.
Wont this conflict with his duties as Emperor of the Lizard people or do Jewish Republicans spend their days lounging on “hot rocks” and devouring crickets and baby mice also?
If 3% of Americans are Jewish, and 21% of them voted Republican, then doesn’t that mean that this coalition involves Norm, Norm’s bubbe, Eric Cantor, and Cantor’s bubbe? And Joe Lieberman.
Oy vey Mr. Coleman. I am trying to remember why you represent Jews for McCain but I can’t remember why such a thing even exists. Who knew? Mechuggina, go find some respectable work and let Al do the heavy lifting. He’s a nice boy and knows from funny.
Kingbee: Sadly, that streak was interrupted by a Goyish Dean Barkley for about 60 days in 2002-03.
Jill7:Sadly, also Thomas Friedman.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Thank God you did it because I would’ve had to. Although, with Norm Coleman, it’s a tossup between that and “TEETH!”