Wonkette
Man, last night all the haters were hating on the Post for breaking the astonishing news that the nice rich lady with important friends had decided not to demand a lifelong appointment to the House of Lords after all. Well, now your precious MSM liberal gray lady of record, the New York Times, says the same thing, so it’s official: Caroline Kennedy will be roasted and eaten by David Paterson, with mint jelly, for lunch.
Kennedy released a statement that sounded pretty goddamn definitive:
“I informed Governor Paterson today that for personal reasons I am withdrawing my name from consideration for the United States Senate,” Ms. Kennedy said in a statement released by her public relations firm.
The Times also cites a very credible source known as “a person who spoke to [Caroline Kennedy]” who says that “her concerns about the health of her uncle … contributed to her decision.” This makes zero sense, of course, but sounds better than “she knew that if she stayed in this thing any longer and got passed over, the worse her chances would be for actually running for office and winning in a few years.”
Kennedy Drops Bid for Clinton’s Senate Seat, Citing Personal Reasons [New York Times]
Wow! That’s exactly the same thing that NPR’s “source” said.
What an amazing coincidence!
Those sneaky Chinese had it right.
Fortunes are ruined in three generations.
1st generation makes it (Joe and his Nazee loving ways)
2nd generation spends it (JFK, RFK, Ted)
3rd generation loses it, you know.
I was at a Steve Earle book signing a few years ago when he told the crowd that the only album review he ever framed was a zero star review he received from the NY Post.
So… what’s Chelsea Clinton up to these days?
The personal reasons include “the health of her uncle,” who is currently disregarding his own health to remain in the Senate? Hmm. Unless she’s preserving a kidney for his potential future use…
Serolf Divad:
OMG, the neo-cons and conspiracy theory guys would have coronaries on the spot.
I second Chelsea’s nomination.
ManchuCandidate: UMMMM. You’d be traumatized too if your daddy brought home a little airplane for your little brother and gave nothing to you!
http://flickr.com/photos/8516931@N07/1209066812/
Serolf Divad, Terry: Thirded.
My guess? She’s waiting for Uncle Ted to kick the bucket and take HIS seat.
She looks too stringy to make a good lunch.
And for shit’s sake, no more fucking CLintons or Kennedys.
The reference to mint jelly made a little bile creep up my wind pipe.
New York’s two biggest lies:
I only watch PBS
I never read the Post
So now can America please get back to the business of hounding Sarah Palin and her dropout spawn?
norbizness: I hear Amy Carter’s not terribly busy.
How very regal! Can you actually “withdraw” your name from this sort of thing? Ok. I withdraw mine too then.
Darehead: Sins of the father, eh?
I dunno - given the subsequent role small aircraft had in John-John’s life, Caroline might have been better off without a special gift from Daddy.
Maybe what’s his name, Jeb’s kid “Breaking and Entering” Bush could carpetbag this one.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Man, Maureen Reagan is probably kicking herself in her casket.
WonkaBee: Instead she got….nothing. You know.
Waaaaaiiiit a minute. What kind of Kennedy actively takes part in a loved one’s health care? Don’t they just send them to convent or give them a lobotomy? That could be a win-win for Ted.
Sometimes, people’s parachute fails to get them there.
This also might be (for what little power it may hold) a marker to Patterson: “Thanks for stalling Governor. Team Kennedy wishes you good luck in your upcoming election!”
Also, her statement isn’t quite a Sherman statement, but it should be.
LazloHollyfeld: C’mon that’s not fair, we all now Rosemary Kennedy was a crazy ass uncontrollable violent harridan who needed to learn manners:
• “Went to luncheon in the ballroom in the White House. James Roosevelt took us in to see his father, President Roosevelt. He said, ‘It’s about time you came. How can I put my arm around all of you? Which is the oldest? You are all so big.”
• “Have a fitting at 10:15 Elizabeth Arden. Appointment dress fitting again. Home for lunch. Royal tournament in the afternoon.”
• “Up too late for breakfast. Had it on deck. Played Ping-Pong with Ralph’s sister, also with another man. Had lunch at 1:15. Walked with Peggy. also went to horse races with her, and bet and won a dollar and a half. Went to the English Movie at five. Had dinner at 8:45. Went to the lounge with Miss Cahill and Eunice and retired early.”
Clearly she was a danger to herself and her family’s money, what with her obvious gambling addiction (see above). She may well also have been about to tell how many times Old Man Joe made her blow him and his favorite priests. They used to call it “Ping-Pong.”
Is Eliot Spitzer available? That would blow minds even more than a Chelsea nomination.
Oh, and it’d be worth a gazillion whore diamonds.
Whatever, Caroline. Sheesh.
Still not too late for Dr. Z.!
White lady backlash! PUMAs UNITE!!1!
norbizness: I second that.
No more fucking CLintons.
My sort of inside baseball guess is that Patterson gave her a head’s up that she wouldn’t be named, so she decided to throw herself on her sword. This gives her the option to run in 2010’s special election (when Patterson must himself run for re-election), or to be given a different post.
I’m still holding out hope that Kirsten Gillibrand should be the nominee. She’s young, smart, liberal, and kicked the crap out of some Republican congresscritter who held onto that seat like it was his balls.
Watch, he’s gonna pick the gay guy.
actor212: Yes! I’m hoping for Kirsten too, for all the reasons you listed plus she’s from upstate, plus she would fit right in with the Obama administration of hotness. But I expect to be disappointed. I usually am.
But monarchy is fun! They get to wear cool outfits. And wigs. Let’s give it a try!
Damn you, it was MY FLASHING LIGHT! Now where am I going to get a FLASHING LIGHT?
-Drudge
Serolf Divad: Still hiding from the Kerry monster.
http://wonkette.com/405429/john-kerry-drafts-chelsea-clinton-into-performing-sex-favors-for-a-day
Serolf Divad: Terry: facehead: The Chelsea rumor wouldn’t have to be serious in any way–just float it out there and watch the fun–eyes bugging out, frothing at the mouth, screaming gibberish. And that would just be the warm up acts.
http://bigheaddc.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/john-kerry.jpg
Aren’t her “personal reasons” obvious? She’s Obama’s baby mama!
Cuomo cheated on a Kennedy. Does that count?
the montage of first pets on the new whitehouse.gov must have reminded her of her pony responsibilities. Macaroni Pony, ha, jfk you dog you.
CorkPopper: Maybe not. Her name popped up unexpectedly on WNBC news this morning. The fact that someone slipped them her name might be a trial balloon.
She’d be a great choice. So would John Hall.
Don’t senators have to be at least 35? Chelsea is still too young. On a completely unrelated note, I wonder if she shares her father’s affinity for getting head in the office?
donner_froh: facehead: Terry: Serolf Divad: The Chelsey thing is typical Wonkette Pie-In-The-Sky. Sure, it would be fun to watch various heads asplode, but someone would eventually bring up that she’s 7 or 8 years shy of the age requirement to be a senator.
someone would eventually bring up that she’s 7 or 8 years shy of the age requirement to be a senator
There is no way that Jonah “MUSSOLINI WASN’T A FASCIST” Goldberg could do math that complex.
And why didn’t Sully get any inside info from his BFF Max Kennedy?
Sometimes it takes all of three minutes.
I hope Fran Drescher is now odds-on favorite, Minnesota can have Al Franken, we have The Nanny! Where’s that Nate guy with his math and his analysis??