Wonkette
Now that Dick Cheney has been literally wheeled out of Washington on a stretcher, who will we blurrily photograph molesting young maidens in distress? That is a question that only you, the reader, can answer. Send us your sightings/sexy candid camera-phone pics of vaguely famous people misbehaving around town for our famous and sporadically produced feature, “Wonk’d.” A handful of Wonkette readers recently spotted DC celebs in such unlikely places as the gym, and in “makeup trailers” (!). After the jump, sightings of a couple of news people and also a Weeds star and maybe even President Oprah Winfrey herself, eating her feelings at Starbucks later today!
- Saw Olbermann’s bff Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post standing around outside of the MSNBC makeup trailer on the national mall tonight. Also, Karen Tumulty (I think it was her, at least) at Constitution Ave and 9th street NW. She definitely looked like she has had some facial (!!!!) injections as she looked much younger than on the teevee. ALSO, MSNBC appears to be broadcasting in a studio surrounded by bullet proof glass.
- Apparently CNN’s John King made a New Year’s resolution or something. He’s a member of the Capitol Hill Washington Sports Club and last year I saw him maybe 3 times, but I’ve already seen him there like 4 days in the past two weeks or so. He usually gets there around 9 AM and rides an exercise bike.
- I just saw Kevin Nealon in the Town & County bar at the Mayflower. Weeds is a great show and I love him. As a side point, the shithole closed down at 1:30, can the Mayflower really not afford that extra $100 to stay open late, I mean honestly. He was totally going to nail an anonymous blond about 15 years younger than him.
- AND MOST EXCITINGLY, A MESSAGE FROM THIS VERY MORNING: “reports are Oprah is to be at the Starbucks on the north side of Dupont Circle at some point today.”
UPDATE: Karen Tumulty herself writes to clarify! “Don’t think this was me,” she says, “But now you have me all paranoid about how old I must be looking on TV.”
Seen somebody “famous for D.C.” doing whatever people do out in public? Send us your sighting report — and a cell-phone pic if you managed to snap one — to tips@wonkette.com, with the subject line Wonk’d.
The exact definition of a celebrity varies alot. I was at a Cubs game once when the crowd went crazy for Jud Buschler.
…I’m calling my stock broker right now and investing in Starbucks!!!
Weeds is a terrible, unrealistic show yet I watch it eagerly much like that other Showtime turd, The Tudors.
i heard Jesus Christ fronted a power trio at a party somewhere.
What, does Oprah send out a press “leak” for everything she does?
Who the heck “reports” on rumors of Oprah’s appearance? I smell a plant.
I saw Jesus driving a Miata through the Museum of Natural History. BUT I DON’T HAVE A PICTURE. YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.
C’mon, doesn’t there have to be documentation? I was excited to see John King in his sweaty t-shirt and then, after the jump, NADA!.
Capitol Hillbilly: Mustang: Obviously untrue. Jesus left town yesterday at around noon. Don’t you read secureourdream.com?
Weeds is brutal. The end.
shanemacgowan: When I was on a family vacation as a freshman in high school, I got Jud Buechler’s autograph at the Anaheim Hilton. I got Steve Kerr, Johnny Kerr, and Luc Longley’s autographs too.
Capitol Hillbilly: Yeah, The Omniscient Beings. Buddah on bass and Vishnu totally killed on the drums. All those arms! Anyway, it was an awesome show.
Weeds is totally unrealistic. You can tell its written by a late 30s woman who once considered selling a little bit of pot. Californication, on the other hand, GOLD! GOLD! (but also completely unrealistic–except that Ducovny’s apparently really a sex addict.)
How long before we start hearing about all the terrible shit that really went down in the Bush Admin–all the petty nonsense. All the ass-fucking by administration officials from the likes of Jeff Gannon. Someone spilling enough that Bush, Cheney, Rove all could be indicted and convicted. Wait, what’s that? Bush already copped to torture? Hmmm.
Wow, two people above criticized Weeds as being “unrealistic” (are you two suburban drug dealers or something?), and I spy magic titty (you just got wonk’d bro) above describing it as “brutal” (I’m not sure what he meant I just wanted to say “magic titty”).
I love Weeds, I find it fucking funny foo-foo, the question of how realistic it is never really occurs to me. I think it is the best thing Kevin Nealon has done.
Me haz a sad that wonketters aren’t feeling the Weeds.
I heard humor died after 9/11. Some people said it was coming back, but Saturday Night Live stayed on the air, so I wasn’t convinced. And after seeing this, I’m more not convinced than ever.
I’m so sick of humor, anyway. It’s about time we killed it off.
SAW JOHN MCCAIN ON THE TEE VEE THE OTHER DAY WHILE HE WAS DOING HIS SENATOR THING. HE IS STILL ALIVE, KINDA.
Oi. That above comment was supposed to go under Sara K. Smith’s post about Sara K. Smith’s post’s comments. I can’t believe what a terrible failure I am today; this is just awful.
I suck at spotting celebrities, anyway. Once when I was with a friend of mine she spotted Joel Grey in lower Manhattan, but I completely missed him. In case you’re wondering who that is, you probably know him as Joshua Trumble in Rankin/Bass’s The Night Before Christmas.
Once I was sure I saw Art Spiegelman in the Bronx Botanical Gardens, but it wasn’t. Luckily I wouldn’t rush up to a celebrity I see on the street and start harassing them; I don’t do that. The last celebrity I met was Bob Dorough, the inventor of Schoolhouse Rock, and I gushed so much it was embarrassing, which is why I know I shouldn’t ever approach celebrities. I know my limitations, man.
Are you saying that Dick is molesting his own daughter in that picture?
I ran into Sarah Silverman (srsly) at a house party on NJ Ave south of the Capitol yesterday afternoon. Not only was I confused by this, but apparently she had ended up there accidentally too (somebody she went to high school with lived there[?]). Being that I had not slept the previous night, I was too dumbfounded to grab a photo. Dangblastit!
It’s not really Oprah at the Starbucks — it’s a piece of toast with her likeness burned into it.
Kevin Nealon was playing at the DC Improv, that’s probably why he was in town (plus inauguration, but yeah).
I saw Rachel Maddow walking along the Mall- she entered near Natural History- on her way to the MSNBC temp studios near the Hirschhorn(and she spoke to me-I yelled- Rachel Maddow- because I am known for my brilliant repartee) and we saw Colin and Alma Powell walking down 12th street into the Mandarin Oriental- this was yesterday.
Larry McAwful: Bob Dorough is a great guy. He probably thought you were strange, but nice. I’m sure he enjoyed the recognition.
I saw Benazir Bhutto because, as the song says, “all we are is dust in the wind.” Hopey’s mum was from Kansas, so STFU.
I was on a flight with Warren Moon once, many years ago. That man is tall. I only mention this because he looks like a bald Eric Holder, only bigger and more badass.
We stood next to John Oliver of the Daily Show during the whole ceremony yesterday. He did a bit with an Australian guy who was standing with the crowd. Then made a bunch of comments in the camera during throughout the ceremony. I did not see that his segment aired last night, though. So…maybe tonight?
pattycake: I hope so. This was at a Sunday brunch performance he gave in New York some years ago. My friend and I sat at a table and talked about how great Schoolhouse Rock is throughout most of the performance. Only later did we realize that we were sitting next to a bunch of people who were either friends or family of Mr. Dorough, and I later overheard these people talking about how impressive it is that these songs are so influential.
I just don’t pick people out on the street, though, so it wasn’t anything like that. Since it was a performance of his, it couldn’t have been overly weird. As a bonus, the guy who did the vocals for Conjunction Junction flew in from California for the first-ever live performance of that song! I can’t remember the singer’s name, but he’s a white guy in his sixties with one of the filthiest senses of humor I’ve encountered in live performance. Definitely a good show.
Saw Martin Luther King III on second Orange Line train of the morning into the city Tuesday. Called him out (he still had fittings for TV mic hanging off his Burberry collar in back) and man said he wasn’t MLK3… in kind of sort of nondenial denial… said he was from Chicago. He got on at Foggy Bottom and followed me (he said he didn’t know which station was L’Enfant) off at L’Enfant. View of Capitol was beautiful in lights at 5 am. View of helo taking GB out of the hot (for him LZ) was better a few hours later.
Si se hace.
I saw a man who danced with his wife.
facehead: I’m LOVING the Weeds. Being a latecomer, though, I’m only on Season 2 (yay Netflix). Intense and funny.
S.Luggo: me too- did she have a lot of red hair and he wore a beret and had a soul patch?
I once saw Studebaker Hoch exiting Ralph’s on Sunset with some Aunt Jemima Syrup, some Kaiser Boiler Foil and pair of blunt sissors. Just sayin’.
blinky_twinkie: I’m a Netflix whore too!
S.Luggo: In Chicago.
Theodorick Of York: “Hoch”? Really? I always assumed it was “Hawk,” after the car. And it might be, anyway, with Frank just changing the spelling because why not.
Now listen, you communist son of a bitch!