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Oddly enough, this is how we conclude grace around the Wonkette “dinner table” (i.e. oil drum full of burning trash). Thanks to operative Jack for sending along this lovely photo from yesterday’s festivities, where Oprah Winfrey was appointed Permanent Empress of Earth.
10:34 AM
on Wed January 21 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
1628 Views
Wonkette
We do too, except it’s Kathy Lee and Buddhallah.
Hail Oprah, full of waist, the lard is with thee.
Some people credit Oprah with “getting” Obama Iowa. I believe that’s where this sign is coming from.
I will welcome to my home refugees fleeing the newly named nation of Ugogirl formerly US America.
The Onion is the new Nostradumbass.
I hear God sent Oprah (and Will I. Am… but I digress) a note that said: “Thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you).
Could have been worse. Sign could have read “All the glory to God, and thanks to Rush Limbaugh.” You remember — his expert strategy to confuse and demoralize the Democrats so the republcians could win the White House and both houses of Congress. You don’t?
Steadman has to carry her Twinkies, if you know what I mean. Nom nom nom.
Totally off topic, but I was wandering around georgetown yesterday morning and saw the Ligne Roset. FOR REALS. and it was awful. its like paying 50x what you’d pay for IKEA and getting the same damn furniture.
Let them eat cake!…Wait!…Let ME eat cake!
pffft. Empress of Earth my ass. Aretha now rules us all - I saw that hat; I know what it means.
Aren’t God and Oprah one in the same?
That’s nice. Now when are we going to turn “Big Hollywood” into a non-stop Trucknutz ad?
If you think about this too hard, you head will implode.
Not exactly the kind of sign you paint in your garage. I wonder which Harpo lackey paid this dude to wave it?
Iggy Plop: Agreed. I offered fruit and libations to Aretha’s image on a jewel case this very morning.
Goddammit, I need to learn to proofread.
I am O. Bow before me.
Throw her a bone. Make her Secretary of Crappy Bestsellers or something.
(Actually, ‘throw her a bone’ isn’t the best metaphore when it come to Miss Winfrey)
If Oprah was really divine, she’d be handing out Lexuses, not Pontiacs.
This fellow could teach the “Half breed Muslin” sign guy a lot about the form and content of sign making.
If I’m too poor to self-medicate by drinking every night, AND these next four years are all Jeebus, all the time, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. ‘Be poor,’ I guess.
we usually end our prayers with a quote from the color purple and sing “maybe god is trying to tell you something” in my household. two of my roomies are drag queens.
I’m hoping she picks the Constitution for Oprah’s Book Club. Maybe then at least Lynne Cheney will read it.
The new national anthem of our chocolate-faced leader, the esteemed Young Jeezy’s “My president is black”, has some baffling Oprah Winfrey shoutout on a placard at one point, with the rest of the placards being a bizarre mix of dead people ranging from Bernie Mac to Jam Master Jay to Soulja Slim (??) to Che Guevara to… Gandhi?! Yeah, I can see how the combined forces of Oprah, Bernie Mac and Gandhi really masterminded this election.
Oh, right, the masterpiece in question, for people over 40: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3I3XMZNt8uI
WadISay: Oprah saves the auto industry! Oh, wait.
My dad was on Oprah three times. Fat, thin, fat. I have the video tapes somewhere in my basement.
OT?
Rick Warren’s photo repaired
http://acksisofevil.org/images/warren.jpg
Warren is also known as the voice of ‘Fry’ on Futurama
hrhkingfriday:
Boy, the colors on that grey and blue sectional are gorgeous though.
mattbolt: I saw placards for Iraq, Haiti, and Africa. So I guess Sarah was right after all about Africa being a single country and all.
…I envision Oprah being more of an “Overlord” than “Empress”.
Oprah farts on you. You then become a multi-millionaire, famous, or POTUS — or perhaps all three. It’s the way the world works.
The young signmaker, in his eagerness, unwittingly misrepresented the contract. I’m pretty sure “Thanks” was supposed to be “Franks”.
Carry on.
AngryBlakGuy: I, for one, welcome our new Pontiac-dispensing overlord.
WadISay: “Lexii” (maybe?)
the greatest trip Oprah every played was convincing the world she didn’t exist
Oprah totally paid for that sign
grendel: Finally, the truth is out. God is a woman!!!
Well, at least God got top billing.
Noodle Salad: “She hath shown us her Glory and her Great Arse.”
Iggy Plop: That HAT. Oh my Lord! It was simply the best. Sorry, Tina Turner.
Lascauxcaveman: I think the proper Latin plural for Lexus is just “Lexi” with one “i”. Lexii would be plural for “Lexius”
pattycake: Zensunni or Zenshiite?
Min: That’s how you can tell it wasn’t a Harpo plant.
An image of Oprah has appeared on my chocolate pudding skin. I honestly don’t know what to do with it.
Actually, to the O-heads it’s glory to Oprah and thanks to God. I’m glad my wife doesn’t read this site, or she would not have sex with me for a month for saying that.
Hopefully a foundation will fund a detailed study of the positive inverse correlation between Ms. Winfrey’s girth and the US GDP; only Greenspan’s fear of technology and the human body has prevented it. Once confirmed, an Oprah icon could be included on every business cable channel’s crawl. So much easier for visual learners: if Oprah completely covers your wide screen HD, it means that the US has gone out of business. If she looks like Kate Moss, take your profits!
Shit, I was on the metro with that woman. She also had a couple of sticks to hold up the banner, we told her if she tried to bring them in secret service would probably have her shipped to Gitmo. The end.