THE DEVIL WILL SEE YOU NOW  7:15 pm January 20, 2009

Obama Shocker: New President Gives Satanic Sign To His Zombie Followers

by Ken Layne

'And the whole damn place goes crazy twice, and it's once for the devil and once for Christ ....'
Sure is fun to have a black guy as president, what with the hope and all, and what an exciting day of inaugural inauguration events …. OH WHAT IN THE HELL BARACK IS DOING THE DEVIL-HORN HAND-SIGN!

As proven by this journalistic freeze frame of the teevee news, on CBS, your new president worships but one “god,” and it ain’t Allah! It’s the Devil, Beelzebub, Belial, Iblis, Lucifer, Satan, Angra Mainyu, the Dark Woodsman, El Diablo, Bono, Old Scratch …. the same Prince of Lies worshiped by Bill Clinton, and the Bush Twins, and especially George W. Bush Junior himself! Come on, why do you think Junior was so friendly to Obama today? You think Bush likes black people? Not unless they’ve got the special blood-red iPhone that connects directly to Hades.

HAIL SATAN >>> HAIL SATAN <<< HAIL SATAN
The Illuminati news anchors say Obama was just “making a popular surfing hand symbol popular with the Hawaiians, where he was somehow born even though he was born in AFRICA, Indonesia.” Well, that’s what they always say, isn’t it? Also, what is going on with those twin blond goblins the new president has summoned, floating over his shoulder there? (Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Alex Pareene” for the tip!)

Hook 'em, Satan!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 87 comments }

sk1win January 20, 2009 at 7:17 pm

One in the goo, one in the poo!

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 7:19 pm

Well sheeeit, I hope he got more for his soul than that last motherfucker did.

Canmon (the Inadequate) January 20, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=224056]sk1win[/re]: One in the pink, one in the stink.

Heywood Floyd January 20, 2009 at 7:21 pm

The End of Days is indeed upon us.

Either that, or he’s giving Scarlett Johansson the “Call me, it’s all good now” sign.

Min January 20, 2009 at 7:25 pm

I guess this means the country’s going to Hell in a handbasket.

Heywood Floyd January 20, 2009 at 7:25 pm

And oh yeah, way to scoop Steamshovel Press on this one.

http://www.steamshovelpress.com/

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Hand sign tutorial:

Hang loose-retract your index, middle, and ring fingers. Extend the thumb and pinky. If you’re feeling froggy, give it a little shake to show the kids you’re really, “with it.” (see first pic above)

I love you- retract your middle and ring finger, extend your index, thumb, and pinky. (not shown)

Satan- retract your middle and ring finger, and fold your thumb over to keep them tight to your palm. Raise your index and pink. If you’re feeling froggy, wave this sign up and down, preferable to the beat of some hardcore metal music to show the kids you’re really, “with it.” (see final pic above).

Note: If you’re one of those stupid hipster kids who flashes the I Love You sign at a rock concert, you should be kicked in the teeth by a midget with a jetpack. I hope you die a horrible death.

Please use this guide to make sure you are using the proper hand sign for the proper situations.

NunnaTheSOBs January 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Get Bill Clinton on
the phone, and tell
him to come and get his
damn wife out from
behind the Oval Office
Desk — or at least let
me enjoy ONE day at it.

SpikeyDog January 20, 2009 at 7:28 pm

What the hell are W and his sex slave doing using the same sign as our new prince of darkness? Did that hug before they threw him in the chopper include a quick neck bite?

chascates January 20, 2009 at 7:29 pm

Laura is doing the UT ‘Hook ‘em Horn sign. And did anyone besides me think Rick Warren was going to start speaking in tongues when he brought up all the bizarre names for his imaginary friend Jesus?

grevillea January 20, 2009 at 7:30 pm

What is the significance of Obama using his thumb in the shocker, unlike his soul brothers Bush and Atchoomanimbad?

KublaKant January 20, 2009 at 7:32 pm

I learned from the intertubes that this is the Shaka not the Shocker apparently the two should not be confused (in bed), so obviously bHo’s use of this symbol just confirms his AFriCAN, Indonesia birth certifcate ancestry and is like giving the finger to REAL AMERICA!1111!1. The finger should not be confused with scratching my eyebrow which is what I was doing, officer. Also.

Bruno January 20, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Where is Rick Warren? I thought he said he was grateful for this Satan worshipper.

Oh, by my count, he’s been in office 7 hours now. What’s Barry done for you lately?

Politicalchef January 20, 2009 at 7:33 pm

You are so white if you thought that was devil horns.

also, the shockr is more complicated – it requires *two* in the pink and one in the afore mentioned stink.

President Beeblebrox January 20, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Holy shit, Layne, I just sprayed delicious red beans ‘n’ rice all over my laptop screen. WIN

One thing, though – you forgot to mention Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil’s Son-In-Law.

iwillsavethispatient January 20, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=224078]grevillea[/re]: It was when his Hawaiian High School band was going past… Or, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaka_sign if you mean the sign itself…

The bottom picture is Bush announcing Dick Cheney as his Veep candidate.

InsidiousTuna January 20, 2009 at 7:37 pm

[re=224082]Politicalchef[/re]: Be a real man. Five in the stink.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=224081]Bruno[/re]: Oh, by my count, he’s been in office 7 hours now. What’s Barry done for you lately?
He’s given that evil troll Charlie Gibson an excuse to preempt Jeopardy. Damnit.

grevillea January 20, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=224090]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Didn’t you hear? That inaugural event was cancelled:
http://americansfortruth.com/news/breaking-news-victory-homosexual-pig-sex-organizers-cancel-orgy-at-doubletree-hotel.html

mattbolt January 20, 2009 at 7:43 pm

[re=224090]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Ah, the Minivan. Can fit 2 in the front and 5 in the rear.

gokay January 20, 2009 at 7:44 pm

does anyone know how is the news coverage in the south? i found one news website( http://www.al.com/birminghamnews/) and the coverage seems to be at minimum. just curious about others.

smellyal8r January 20, 2009 at 7:44 pm

[re=224066]Min[/re]: Going to hell in a handbasket? Going? You don’t think we are there yet? Man…what did W need to do to make you think it was ovah?

mattbolt January 20, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Also, this is either “Hook em horns” when in the presence of UTexas, the “shaka sign” when in the presence of Hawaiians (wait a minute, isn’t this guy…) or “Call me” when in the presence of guys at bars. The devil sign involved thumb, pointer and pinky.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 7:48 pm

[re=224095]grevillea[/re]: Sex with pigs is neither kosher nor halal.

DustBowlBlues January 20, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[re=224077]chascates[/re]: “V Rick Warren was going to start speaking in tongues when he brought up all the bizarre names for his imaginary friend Jesus?”

For a second, I thought he was maybe saying different gods–you know, allah, yahway (I can’t believe I don’t remember how to spell that) rama, etc. Then he went into the Lord’s Prayer and that’s when I commented on another thread like the historian I am, “The Thomas Jefferson statue is puking.”

Ric Warren sucks. His prayer was also rambling–like he was just up there, winging it. Some fuck on BBCA said that now Warren is our national chaplain, the end. Hold on there a minute, limey swine.

sati demise January 20, 2009 at 7:52 pm

[re=224073]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: but the Obama ‘I love you’ is a secret sign to the Island Volcano gods, Hiawwaiiikonacoffeekokohuanahumminhummerkakalaki

KublaKant January 20, 2009 at 7:52 pm

[re=224090]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Or if you are Count Rugan, 6 in the stink.

sati demise January 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm

[re=224105]DustBowlBlues[/re]:The Obamas are church shopping this week, BBCA. do your fuc*in’ homework limey journos.

hockeymom January 20, 2009 at 7:55 pm

oh no…CNN has a new toy…something called photosynth.
John King may pee himself he’s so excited.
In the old days, we’d call it ZOOMING IN, John.

MrHacks January 20, 2009 at 7:57 pm

Well…if I’m a zombie?

That would mean…BRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR0J5G1AFM8

CaliforniaMike January 20, 2009 at 7:57 pm

[re=224108]KublaKant[/re]: Let’s go for five in the pink AND five in the stink. Then you’ve got one hell of a hand puppet.

hockeymom January 20, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Also…which Wonkette editor is going to be talking fashion tonight…because now the drama begins. What will Michelle wear?
How many brooches will adorn her neckline?

Worlds End January 20, 2009 at 8:00 pm

[re=224114]hockeymom[/re]: but…but the angles

IceCreamEmpress January 20, 2009 at 8:03 pm

I think you should highlight Grampa Joe Biden’s disturbing finger-guns, as seen earlier on the parade route.

BIDEN WANTS TO SHOOT INNOCENT HIGH SCHOOL MARCHING BAND NERDS!

HedonismBot January 20, 2009 at 8:04 pm

That was the sign for “call me.” He saw the Muslin terrist Bill Ayers in the audience.

ivenson January 20, 2009 at 8:05 pm

[re=224105]DustBowlBlues[/re]: HAY SOOSE? I know Jehovah and Yahweh are legitimate different names for the same deity, but HAY SOOSE is just the way you say Jesus if you speak espanish. Why does that get a mention?

ALSO…did anyone else notice that our imaginary girlfriend Rachel Maddow was the only one to say “Vice President and DOCTOR Biden”? R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Sock it to me.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 8:07 pm
smellyal8r January 20, 2009 at 8:10 pm

I, for one, welcome our new finger signaling overlords. Welcome. Thank you for dispatching Cheney to the dustbin of history.

HMS Nerd January 20, 2009 at 8:10 pm

“blood-red iPhone” – c’mon, you know Verizon doesn’t have the 3G cred yet. Lucifer likes the slow roll, which is why he sponsored Amtrak’s “bait the sniper with the black body-double like in Richard Pryor’s cult classic ‘Moving’ extravaganza”. duh. Oh, and I for one did receive my stimulus release in the mail. Thanks to all the demi-muslins who made this day possible.

BadKitty January 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm

A whole hour and no shout out for the Leonard Cohen alt text? FOR SHAME.

mattbolt January 20, 2009 at 8:11 pm

[re=224121]chascates[/re]: There’s no arugula.

Politicalchef January 20, 2009 at 8:13 pm

[re=224090]InsidiousTuna[/re]: I’m a lady.

1, 2, and a courtesy thumb on the button, please.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=224127]mattbolt[/re]: That’s where the ‘Hope’ comes in.

Dreamer January 20, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Hopey’s white side does not know how to dance. Either that or he is shy. Michelle’s dress gorgeous

Dreamer January 20, 2009 at 8:48 pm

I meant to say Michelle’s dress is gorgeous.

mattbolt January 20, 2009 at 8:52 pm

[re=224128]Politicalchef[/re]: Psh, obviously you’ve never had The Dick Cheney. It’s a complicated sexual maneuver involving a wheelchair, some sturdy doweling, a basic knowledge of carpentry, seasonal vegetables, a medieval flogging device, a power drill and a bucket of ice.

hockeymom January 20, 2009 at 8:56 pm

[re=224136]Dreamer[/re]: She looks stunning but I am having trouble with the fuzzy balls that are covering the dress. I need a better shot of it.

yosoy January 20, 2009 at 8:56 pm

The only thing that surprises me about seeing this on Wonkette is that I kinda figured the wingnuts would be first out of the gate with the Satan theories. But I guess you are not serious. Right?

regisgoat January 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Oh, dear God, it’s going to be a four year long Kill the Haoles Day!

OffTheRecord January 20, 2009 at 9:09 pm

[re=224140]hockeymom[/re]: She is awesome as always, but it is a little interesting. I am hoping I will have the same reaction I did to her outfit this morning. “Huh, okay?” Followed by “Pretty! Want!”

Hostile Michigander January 20, 2009 at 9:12 pm

I’m still waiting for the Fox News anchors to tell us what gang sign that is.

DoctorCulturae January 20, 2009 at 9:13 pm

[re=224137]mattbolt[/re]: I thought that was called waterboarding.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 9:19 pm

[re=224141]yosoy[/re]: Oh, my. You’re not by any chance this guy, are you?

Terry January 20, 2009 at 9:28 pm

[re=224150]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

OMG, what a dumbass. Bless his heart.

Rush January 20, 2009 at 9:29 pm

and this is the Jewish symbol for “screw you Rick Warren, I’m running this motha”

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//090120/ids_photos_ts/r2310073519.jpg/

Bearbloke January 20, 2009 at 9:29 pm

[re=224085]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Shhhh! Don’t tell the Ofey all our uisnessbay….

Dreamer January 20, 2009 at 9:30 pm

[re=224140]hockeymom[/re]: my cousin – a hateful muslin (she is an actual Muslim) just called and said that she hated the dress because of those same fuzzy balls. Since I ODed on the Hopey kool aid I hanged the phone up on her.

grevillea January 20, 2009 at 9:31 pm

[re=224150]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Bwahahahahaha!

Dreamer January 20, 2009 at 9:36 pm

Jill Biden looks stunning and VP Joe Biden is more relaxed than president hopey.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 9:38 pm

[re=224150]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m guessing this guy claims that Hillary was screwed over in the primaries as well?

President Beeblebrox January 20, 2009 at 9:38 pm

[re=224095]grevillea[/re]: “Ghastly hand-anal perversions”, ftw.

Pop Socket January 20, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Ana Marie Cox is on Rachel Maddow. Not much of a on-topic tie-in except for the butt-sechs aspect of The Shocker.

tsunami January 20, 2009 at 9:45 pm

FLILF?

OffTheRecord January 20, 2009 at 9:46 pm

Has anyone noticed the joy that Rachel Maddow gets out of President Obama dancing? It is adorable.

sati demise January 20, 2009 at 9:48 pm

[re=224114]hockeymom[/re]: Going with the modern extravagant earring and huge bangle bracelet…very now combo…

[re=224144]OffTheRecord[/re]: same response! One quibble with the ochre daytime outfit.

Please designers!!1! Think of the weather.
Michelle needed a lower closure on the top coat. She was freezin’ when the wind blew under the coat.
Beautiful outfit but lost points for keeping the human torso warm in 18 degree weather.

Barrett808 January 20, 2009 at 9:51 pm

This schtick with the troops in Kabul. Farking brilliant.

ioksotot23 January 20, 2009 at 10:00 pm

Anyone think Tipper looked OK fer her age?

ioksotot23 January 20, 2009 at 10:07 pm

slightly hot, tho I’m ashamed to say it

FreshCliches January 20, 2009 at 10:08 pm

OK, exactly where WAS Harold Ford today?

wickedlittledoll January 20, 2009 at 10:09 pm

Course the devil’s spawn is making the appropriate satanic gesture!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

Barrett808 January 20, 2009 at 10:32 pm

[re=224168]ioksotot23[/re]: I’ll never forgive Tipper for the PMRC.

CaliforniaMike January 20, 2009 at 11:31 pm

[re=224171]ioksotot23[/re]: Tipper was always hot in that drunken Southern sorority girl way. She wouldn’t put out unless she had the excuse of being drunk, but as long as she did, she’d be wild.

Aurelio January 20, 2009 at 11:36 pm

We call that the “shaka” sign here in the Sandwich Islands where B. Hussein Obama was born and raised. It it often accompanied by such intellection discourse as, “Howz it, brah?” or “What you stay doing?”

facehead January 20, 2009 at 11:47 pm

The rule is that if u manifest a shaka-bra above the waistline, you’re gay.

Pat Pending January 21, 2009 at 1:35 am

[re=224056]sk1win[/re]: eww, and EWWW!!!
(that’s a shaka sign, brah…)

lawrenceofthedesert January 21, 2009 at 1:57 am

When did Eddie Van Halen become President?

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 21, 2009 at 1:57 am

Of course, there’s nothing Barry HUSSEIN Obama could have done with his hands that pissed the righties and the bitterz off more than putting the right one in the air, and the left one on the bible. No terrorist fist bump or evil satanic gang sign comes even close.

ducandy January 21, 2009 at 2:13 am

God, are you fuckers dumb.

That sign means “hang loose”.

I’m fifty-nine, how old are you assholes, centenarians?

TGY January 21, 2009 at 5:09 am

It’s working. Where do I sign up to become a Muslin terrorist?

TGY January 21, 2009 at 5:18 am

[re=224141]yosoy[/re]: Yes. Not serious.

[re=224314]ducandy[/re]: Sorry, I still need a fingering guide at my advanced age.

WIDTAP January 21, 2009 at 7:57 am

All of your minds are in the gutter.

Hopey is signaling America with the “Call Me” sign. How sweet.

gurukalehuru January 21, 2009 at 8:46 am

[re=224095]grevillea[/re]: WTF? Is that a real site, or le satire? (hey, check that out) What is a pig sex orgy? and…
…is there really such a thing
as a sodomy sling?
doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop, ooooo

eekahil January 21, 2009 at 9:49 am

There is a picture of Sasha (second to last in this slideshow) flashing the same sign over at
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/20/sasha-and-malia-obama-ina_n_159499.htm

Sasha And Malia Obama Inauguration Photos: Most Adorable Moments (SLIDESHOW)

the caption sez:
Watching the marching band from Punahou (Hawaii) School, their father’s alma mater

medici January 21, 2009 at 11:55 am

The satanic “hang loose” sign!

eekahil January 21, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=224163]tsunami[/re]:
According to my colleague, Jill Biden would then be SLILF.

Thank you for the new coinage!

OfTheTheatricalPersuasian January 21, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Sasha got in on the act too. Maybe they just like MetAllahCa?
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/865/slide_865_15148_large.jpg

HoosierHawaiian January 22, 2009 at 2:38 am

Obviously you haven’t been to Hawaii. The hand sign Obama and his daughters are giving is a Hawaiian hand wave or “shaka” and has absolutely nothing to do with Satan. The sign is used daily by just about everyone in Hawaii to say hi, hello, thank you, hang loose, etc.

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