INAUGURAL DESTRUCTION  6:55 pm January 20, 2009

A Children’s Treasury Of Obama Trash

by Jim Newell

One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama’s friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris across a five-block radius so as to kill Christians (2) Tourists threw their shit all over the ground. Maybe there is a Third Way… but yeah, #2, kill them all.

The mob wades through their self-styled wasteland of such easily recyclable, anachronistic items as “print newspapers.” We had no idea people actually bought words printed on paper anymore, but they did today, and it’s all on the fucking ground.

Al Gore would be so mad if he saw this! Although it would cheer him up to know that the litter is just elitist coffee cups from Au Bon Pain, which he probably thinks are “green” because they’re expensive, and he’s gay.

“Looks like a trash can to me, this random parcel of Earth does.”

“Maybe if we drop our litter by the fence, Obama will give us 20 bucks.”

Hey look, a basic municipal object! This must be where the coffee cups are left for Jesus and his crew to pick up every Monday night.

Now don’t take this the wrong way, but… yesterday George W. Bush was president, and there wasn’t trash everywhere.

Be warned.

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


quoth teh Raven January 20, 2009 at 7:00 pm

OT but, being gone all day and not posting, I just have to say, all snark aside, this is the happiest I’ve been in the last 8 years. Seeing that fuck, GWB, get on the chopper, and leave for good… Jeeze. Can anything top that?

lenorecutie January 20, 2009 at 7:00 pm

What’s with all the tomatoes in the first picture? Were they expecting Bush to walk by?

shortsshortsshorts January 20, 2009 at 7:01 pm

These environmentally conscious liberals are RUINING YOUR CITY.

Texan Bulldoggette January 20, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Would hate to see what the porta potties look like…shudder.

HipHopOpotamus January 20, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Jesus Christ. Those 5 minutes where I felt at one with the world after Hopey’s speech are up. I hate everyone.

iwillsavethispatient January 20, 2009 at 7:03 pm

It’s okay – in the new spirit of service everyone has, they’ll all come back tomorrow and pick it up. In fact, that’s why they dropped it – so they’d have something to do tomorrow.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 7:03 pm

Nice shoes in that first picture. Beauty can bloom even among whatever or something. I don’t know. I’m not good with the words and the poetry. Maybe I can do the next innaug-a-whatzit for Obama.

Pop Socket January 20, 2009 at 7:03 pm

Doesn’t look any different from any other Tuesday in DC to me.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=224031]quoth teh Raven[/re]: You’re lucky you missed the link I threw up (literally, but that came later).

Dude had a speech in front of thousands of adoring Texans who cheered over horrible things like Alberto Gonzalez’s name or that Bush don’t care much for that faggy opinion poll nonsense, whatever THAT even means. 9/11 changed everything.

troqua January 20, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=224034]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Especially after all that coffee. Damn.

Godot January 20, 2009 at 7:07 pm

[re=224038]Pop Socket[/re]: These pictures were actually taken last week.

Colander January 20, 2009 at 7:08 pm

They’re just leaving these objects behind so that they know where they are, when they return to being hobos, tomorrow.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 20, 2009 at 7:09 pm

So in the end do we get a disturbingly close close up of Al Gore shedding a single tear?

lenorecutie January 20, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=224034]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: They were gross (ie. FULL) at the Oyster and Stout Fest in SF last year, and there were only about a couple of thousand people there. Ewwwwww…

Heywood Floyd January 20, 2009 at 7:10 pm

Proves that liberals are nothing more than filthy hippies who can’t even be bothered to carry their trash back to the dumpsters from which they dined this evening in order to deposit their filthy hippie trash.

Libtards make Mother Earth cry.

Min January 20, 2009 at 7:13 pm

We have a word for this in the South…”trifling”. It traditionally accompanies the phrase “white trash”, but it can certainly have broader applications.

acunning January 20, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Hey, DC residents, the rest of the nation is sick of hearing your whining already. Please shut up and try to appreciate the moment.

quoth teh Raven January 20, 2009 at 7:14 pm

[re=224039]Trace[/re]: Mikssed thst one. Very thankful.

quoth teh Raven January 20, 2009 at 7:14 pm


tunamelt January 20, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=224046]lenorecutie[/re]: And were they all eating oysters and drinking stout? Because that would make it extra gross.

Bearbloke January 20, 2009 at 7:19 pm

When do we got to taking out the REAL trash? Aren’t their huge stinking piles of Bush-era laws, rulings, appointments and contracts to place in the trash-heap of history?

KublaKant January 20, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Look at how many jobs Hopey has created already. I propose we travel to each city in the nation and hold a similar mass littering event. Much better than building roads, bridges, and intertubes.

recharged95 January 20, 2009 at 7:24 pm

What! No ballons?

Now I remember why I moved from DC to the west side…Looks like a typical summer day.

lenorecutie January 20, 2009 at 7:26 pm

[re=224055]tunamelt[/re]: I don’t know. Personally, I try to stay away from festival oysters, especially if it’s super hot out, but someone had to eat them.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 7:26 pm

[re=224058]Bearbloke[/re]: I just heard on NPR on my drive home that President Obama (ahhhhh) put a hold on all pending executive orders until they’re reviewed. So there’s that.

Tommmcatt January 20, 2009 at 7:26 pm

No disrespect or anything, Jim, but just so’s you know the freepers are bitching about this too…

Gopherit January 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

yes we can….throw our fucking trash all over the place.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Hey, at least it wasn’t snowing! And think of all the jobs for the clean-up crew.

Unemployed and jealous in Texas.

rocktonsammy January 20, 2009 at 7:28 pm

with all the coloreds in town, might as well slap orange jump suits on them and make them up the friggin trash, shit.

Colander January 20, 2009 at 7:32 pm

[re=224058]Bearbloke[/re]: There’s some Bush abortion law that he plans on getting rid of too. Probably the right to choose not to have one.

grevillea January 20, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Take a lesson, Zimbabwe. Plan your filthy litter strewn mass rallies for midwinter and you don’t start a cholera outbreak. Democracy 101, people!

President Beeblebrox January 20, 2009 at 7:36 pm

[re=224046]lenorecutie[/re]: Well, if oysters and stout don’t cause multiple trips to the Port-A-John, nothing will…

tocute2btrue January 20, 2009 at 7:38 pm

What is the PROBLEM, We have TAX payers, we have Mexicans, Problem solved !

ivenson January 20, 2009 at 7:45 pm

[re=224032]lenorecutie[/re]: If you look carefully, they are actually apples…also oranges, maybe a pear and a box of raisins. It’s like everyone’s Mom insisted they bring a healthy snack and then they all ditched them in favor of vendor cart felafel.

mdotsota January 20, 2009 at 7:58 pm

All of it was really arugula, not cooked in pork so untainted for our new Muslin overlord.

BitterPolitico January 20, 2009 at 8:41 pm

Where is the crying Indian? Isn’t he mandatory in situations like these?

How the fuck am I supposed to wade through all that tomorrow to get to work?!

ja January 20, 2009 at 9:17 pm

this is precisely why i voted for Nader.
this is what happens when you let profligate, caffinated, self-obsessed Democrats out of their condos and loose on our Capitol.
jesus christ almighty. pack your garbage out and recycle you drones.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 9:41 pm

[re=224149]ja[/re]: Why are you complaining? The worst mess to hit DC is now in Texas.

ja January 20, 2009 at 10:03 pm

i know sayitwithwookies, your right. The Dolt’s in Texas and im happy for that.

Kev-O-Tron January 20, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=224161]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And back in Texas he is. I was watching cable after this thing and Fox was airing his reception speech in Midland. He said he and Laura “would rather be in Texas than anywhere else in the country.”

I felt a new sort of happiness.

Kev-O-Tron January 20, 2009 at 10:28 pm

That’s fucked up about the litter. I’ll admit to about ten cigarette butts but I didn’t shit in your alleys or anything.

Iggy Plop January 20, 2009 at 10:44 pm

The coffee at Au Bon Pain is really and truly bad. Their sandwiches are submediocre, but not bad like the coffee, which is bad. Tourists drink bad coffee and make a terrible mess at it when they do.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 10:54 pm

[re=224169]ja[/re]: It’s beautiful how the Sean Hannitys of this world love to point to the vast pile of trash every time a — cough — lefty event happens. Always begging the question that maybe a vast pile of trash is a reflection of mainstream appeal.

[re=224182]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Republic of Texas, anyone?

ja January 20, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Hannity is always going to find something to run his mouth on. This shit isnt rocket science,, throw the trash in your backpack, and put it in the different colored bins when you get home. This is D.C. , the nexus of our country’s democracy, it’s not frickin Kabul. Act accordingly.

burton judson January 21, 2009 at 12:18 am

[re=224223]ja[/re]: You are quite wrong. Backpacks were banned from secure zones.

plowman January 21, 2009 at 7:42 am

This is a fine example of libtards in action, they talk a good enviro game over bong-hits but then throw their shit all over the street. Republicans would’ve built trash fires and stayed warm!

teebob2000 January 21, 2009 at 8:38 am

This is the plan for whitey now under our newly crowned Super-Black Overlord: “Git out dere an’ pick up dat shit, white boy!! Keep my palace city clean!!”

Monsieur Grumpe January 21, 2009 at 8:53 am

I think I saw the constitution in one of those piles. Not a good sign.

wilmawonker January 21, 2009 at 10:08 am

those containers look like they held more than 3 ounces of liquid each OMG BREECH!

Luke Warm January 21, 2009 at 10:20 am

Those look like copies of the Revolutionary Worker handed out by scruffy commies.

Gliblord January 21, 2009 at 10:41 am

That’s not trash. That’s the remnants of what half of those assembled were reduced to when openly exposed to Hopey’s blazing purity.

pondscum January 21, 2009 at 11:31 am

Looks like the aftermath of a Big Ten tailgate party…times 100.

Harlan January 21, 2009 at 11:46 am

There were plenty of portapotties, but not *nearly* enough trash receptacles. There should have been 10 times more trash cans and recycling bins than there were.

This said, we watched the inauguration standing next to somebody’s abandoned pile of lunch trash. Pathetic.

Harlan January 21, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=224254]burton judson[/re]: Yes, but the vast majority of people there were well outside the secured areas. No restrictions on backpacks at all on most of the mall.

ja January 21, 2009 at 2:02 pm

it is pathetic. if you were there, and dumped your crap all over , your not ‘politically engaged’, your a rustic. i dont care if you were inside a barrier, outside a barrier, grow up, crush the stuff and stick it in your back pocket, put it in your sweatshirt, jam the Evian bottle up your ass, just get it recycled.
my friend saw the single-use waste left behind and said: it looked like a fucking day at the NASCAR track.

blaby January 21, 2009 at 4:38 pm

I saw a BIG pile of Sam’s-Club-size sacks of onions and potatoes on the corner of K and 13th the night of Inauguration. I could smell the onions from about a block away. I wanted to take one of the potato bags home with me but I was on foot and they looked heavy and I didn’t feel like inspecting for a sack of non-rottens. Totally kicking myself now b/c I am broke.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us January 21, 2009 at 4:40 pm

[re=224417]wilmawonker[/re]: Naw… that’s just bottles of urine from the port-o-potty shortage.

zak January 23, 2009 at 12:43 pm

The place was pristine after the hordes left sobbing with joy; the Rapture had come, just not the way Talibangelicals had envisioned it.

Then late that night Ninja-clad Neocons dumped truckloads of highway trash collected by Texas chain gangs all over the mall.

Some of it came from Alaska too: the empty tins of smoked moose meat and packs of unused condoms…

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: