inaugural destruction

A Children’s Treasury Of Obama Trash

One of two things happened to Washington D.C. this afternoon: (1) Obama’s friends the Muslims snuck in one of those dirty bombs they make all the time and blew it up around Constitution and 5th, raining toxic waste debris across a five-block radius so as to kill Christians (2) Tourists threw their shit all over the ground. Maybe there is a Third Way… but yeah, #2, kill them all.

The mob wades through their self-styled wasteland of such easily recyclable, anachronistic items as “print newspapers.” We had no idea people actually bought words printed on paper anymore, but they did today, and it’s all on the fucking ground.

Al Gore would be so mad if he saw this! Although it would cheer him up to know that the litter is just elitist coffee cups from Au Bon Pain, which he probably thinks are “green” because they’re expensive, and he’s gay.

“Looks like a trash can to me, this random parcel of Earth does.”

“Maybe if we drop our litter by the fence, Obama will give us 20 bucks.”

Hey look, a basic municipal object! This must be where the coffee cups are left for Jesus and his crew to pick up every Monday night.

Now don’t take this the wrong way, but… yesterday George W. Bush was president, and there wasn’t trash everywhere.

Be warned.

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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58 comments

  1. quoth teh Raven

    OT but, being gone all day and not posting, I just have to say, all snark aside, this is the happiest I’ve been in the last 8 years. Seeing that fuck, GWB, get on the chopper, and leave for good… Jeeze. Can anything top that?

  2. HipHopOpotamus

    Jesus Christ. Those 5 minutes where I felt at one with the world after Hopey’s speech are up. I hate everyone.

  3. iwillsavethispatient

    It’s okay – in the new spirit of service everyone has, they’ll all come back tomorrow and pick it up. In fact, that’s why they dropped it – so they’d have something to do tomorrow.

  4. Trace

    Nice shoes in that first picture. Beauty can bloom even among whatever or something. I don’t know. I’m not good with the words and the poetry. Maybe I can do the next innaug-a-whatzit for Obama.

  5. Trace

    [re=224031]quoth teh Raven[/re]: You’re lucky you missed the welcomehomebush.com link I threw up (literally, but that came later).

    Dude had a speech in front of thousands of adoring Texans who cheered over horrible things like Alberto Gonzalez’s name or that Bush don’t care much for that faggy opinion poll nonsense, whatever THAT even means. 9/11 changed everything.

  6. Colander

    They’re just leaving these objects behind so that they know where they are, when they return to being hobos, tomorrow.

  7. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    So in the end do we get a disturbingly close close up of Al Gore shedding a single tear?

  8. lenorecutie

    [re=224034]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: They were gross (ie. FULL) at the Oyster and Stout Fest in SF last year, and there were only about a couple of thousand people there. Ewwwwww…

  9. Heywood Floyd

    Proves that liberals are nothing more than filthy hippies who can’t even be bothered to carry their trash back to the dumpsters from which they dined this evening in order to deposit their filthy hippie trash.

    Libtards make Mother Earth cry.

  10. Min

    We have a word for this in the South…”trifling”. It traditionally accompanies the phrase “white trash”, but it can certainly have broader applications.

  11. acunning

    Hey, DC residents, the rest of the nation is sick of hearing your whining already. Please shut up and try to appreciate the moment.

  12. tunamelt

    [re=224046]lenorecutie[/re]: And were they all eating oysters and drinking stout? Because that would make it extra gross.

  13. Bearbloke

    When do we got to taking out the REAL trash? Aren’t their huge stinking piles of Bush-era laws, rulings, appointments and contracts to place in the trash-heap of history?

  14. KublaKant

    Look at how many jobs Hopey has created already. I propose we travel to each city in the nation and hold a similar mass littering event. Much better than building roads, bridges, and intertubes.

  15. recharged95

    What! No ballons?

    Now I remember why I moved from DC to the west side…Looks like a typical summer day.

  16. lenorecutie

    [re=224055]tunamelt[/re]: I don’t know. Personally, I try to stay away from festival oysters, especially if it’s super hot out, but someone had to eat them.

  17. SayItWithWookies

    [re=224058]Bearbloke[/re]: I just heard on NPR on my drive home that President Obama (ahhhhh) put a hold on all pending executive orders until they’re reviewed. So there’s that.

  18. chascates

    Hey, at least it wasn’t snowing! And think of all the jobs for the clean-up crew.

    Unemployed and jealous in Texas.

  19. rocktonsammy

    with all the coloreds in town, might as well slap orange jump suits on them and make them up the friggin trash, shit.

  20. Colander

    [re=224058]Bearbloke[/re]: There’s some Bush abortion law that he plans on getting rid of too. Probably the right to choose not to have one.

  21. grevillea

    Take a lesson, Zimbabwe. Plan your filthy litter strewn mass rallies for midwinter and you don’t start a cholera outbreak. Democracy 101, people!

  22. President Beeblebrox

    [re=224046]lenorecutie[/re]: Well, if oysters and stout don’t cause multiple trips to the Port-A-John, nothing will…

  23. ivenson

    [re=224032]lenorecutie[/re]: If you look carefully, they are actually apples…also oranges, maybe a pear and a box of raisins. It’s like everyone’s Mom insisted they bring a healthy snack and then they all ditched them in favor of vendor cart felafel.

  24. BitterPolitico

    Where is the crying Indian? Isn’t he mandatory in situations like these?

    How the fuck am I supposed to wade through all that tomorrow to get to work?!

  25. ja

    this is precisely why i voted for Nader.
    this is what happens when you let profligate, caffinated, self-obsessed Democrats out of their condos and loose on our Capitol.
    jesus christ almighty. pack your garbage out and recycle you drones.

  26. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=224161]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And back in Texas he is. I was watching cable after this thing and Fox was airing his reception speech in Midland. He said he and Laura “would rather be in Texas than anywhere else in the country.”

    I felt a new sort of happiness.

  27. Kev-O-Tron

    That’s fucked up about the litter. I’ll admit to about ten cigarette butts but I didn’t shit in your alleys or anything.

  28. Iggy Plop

    The coffee at Au Bon Pain is really and truly bad. Their sandwiches are submediocre, but not bad like the coffee, which is bad. Tourists drink bad coffee and make a terrible mess at it when they do.

  29. SayItWithWookies

    [re=224169]ja[/re]: It’s beautiful how the Sean Hannitys of this world love to point to the vast pile of trash every time a — cough — lefty event happens. Always begging the question that maybe a vast pile of trash is a reflection of mainstream appeal.

    [re=224182]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Republic of Texas, anyone?

  30. ja

    Hannity is always going to find something to run his mouth on. This shit isnt rocket science,, throw the trash in your backpack, and put it in the different colored bins when you get home. This is D.C. , the nexus of our country’s democracy, it’s not frickin Kabul. Act accordingly.

  31. plowman

    This is a fine example of libtards in action, they talk a good enviro game over bong-hits but then throw their shit all over the street. Republicans would’ve built trash fires and stayed warm!

  32. teebob2000

    This is the plan for whitey now under our newly crowned Super-Black Overlord: “Git out dere an’ pick up dat shit, white boy!! Keep my palace city clean!!”

  33. Gliblord

    That’s not trash. That’s the remnants of what half of those assembled were reduced to when openly exposed to Hopey’s blazing purity.

  34. Harlan

    There were plenty of portapotties, but not *nearly* enough trash receptacles. There should have been 10 times more trash cans and recycling bins than there were.

    This said, we watched the inauguration standing next to somebody’s abandoned pile of lunch trash. Pathetic.

  35. Harlan

    [re=224254]burton judson[/re]: Yes, but the vast majority of people there were well outside the secured areas. No restrictions on backpacks at all on most of the mall.

  36. ja

    it is pathetic. if you were there, and dumped your crap all over , your not ‘politically engaged’, your a rustic. i dont care if you were inside a barrier, outside a barrier, grow up, crush the stuff and stick it in your back pocket, put it in your sweatshirt, jam the Evian bottle up your ass, just get it recycled.
    my friend saw the single-use waste left behind and said: it looked like a fucking day at the NASCAR track.

  37. blaby

    I saw a BIG pile of Sam’s-Club-size sacks of onions and potatoes on the corner of K and 13th the night of Inauguration. I could smell the onions from about a block away. I wanted to take one of the potato bags home with me but I was on foot and they looked heavy and I didn’t feel like inspecting for a sack of non-rottens. Totally kicking myself now b/c I am broke.

  38. CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    [re=224417]wilmawonker[/re]: Naw… that’s just bottles of urine from the port-o-potty shortage.

  39. zak

    The place was pristine after the hordes left sobbing with joy; the Rapture had come, just not the way Talibangelicals had envisioned it.

    Then late that night Ninja-clad Neocons dumped truckloads of highway trash collected by Texas chain gangs all over the mall.

    Some of it came from Alaska too: the empty tins of smoked moose meat and packs of unused condoms…

Comments are closed.