Oh well.Oh, this is sweet: Chief Justice John Roberts intentionally (allegedly!) fucked up the Presidential Oath, so the wingnuts could claim Obama really isn’t president, because he said the words in the wrong order. See, not only is Roberts a Republican hack, but Obama voted against his confirmation. But Roberts’ evil plan sort of fell apart, because he was dealing with Barack Obama the famous Constitutional Law Professor.

The AP, which is now run by a conservative nut who hoped to have a job in the pretend McCain Administration, quickly published a bullshit hit piece by the conservative hack Mark Sherman.

But at one point early on, Obama paused, as if grasping for the next words. Roberts helped him over the brief awkward moment, repeating a few words to get Obama back on track.

Ha, yes, very awkward, the way Roberts said the magic words in the WRONG ORDER.

See how Roberts put “faithfully” at the end? Obama starts to repeat it, then stops, and makes Roberts read it again, correctly this time. And then Obama grins and becomes the president of wingnuts on Free Republic, too …. or he would be, if he hadn’t put the “faithfully” part in the wrong place himself. So now Dick Cheney is president again, the end.

Here are a couple of amusing posts on Metafilter about this dastardly attempted trick by the jackass John Roberts. Thanks to Wonkette Operative “William B.” for the tip!

(It doesn’t actually matter, the oath. Obama became president while Yo Yo Ma was rocking the cello, at Noon.)

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  1. Only a TERRORIST Supreme Court Justice would mangle the text of our Yang Worship Words, and try to misunderestimate The One into repeating such satanic blather… SHIP ROBERT’S ASS TO GITMO-ON-THE-POTOMAC PRONTO!!!11!!!!1!!

  2. No mention of the other screw-up. Obama’s speech started by stating that he was the 44th American to take the oath. Obama is the 44th president but only because Grover Cleveland is counted twice. Cleveland was two presidents but only one American.

  3. I am just happy. Even Evil Cheney Dickhead and John “What 4th Amendment” Roberts cannot wreck this day. And Barry O told them so in his speech (the part about F you, people, we are not throwing away our freedoms in order to be strong).

    Oh, and Michelle looked FABULOUS.

  4. Meanwhile, Donna Brazile stole Obama’s blanket that he was sitting on during the inauguration so she could smell it.

    I love how Metafilter’s idea of “proof” is putting words in bold. Eh, whatever, I hate Roberts, let’s blame that WASP-y twit.

  5. I first read that: while Yo Mama was rocking the cello. I’m like WTF? Is this a new Yo Mama joke I haven’t been made privy to ’till now?

  6. Could this allow President Obama to replace Chief Justice Roberts for gross incompetence?

    I just wrote ‘President Obama’ for the first time! Yaaay!

  7. Speaking of that musical performance, I can’t decide if that was the ironically or unironically rococo version of “Simple Gifts” ever. Although I kind of doubt that John Williams is capable of irony.

    And this Sherman dude must’ve been watching a different oath of office — ’cause it seemed to me that Obama paused when he heard the oath spoken incorrectly, and let Roberts fix it. Also, the “so help me god” bit isn’t actually a part of it. Though (again) oddly, Roberts phrased that in the form of a question.

  8. Opus Dei strikes again!

    Paultards and Pumas will unite under the common banner of bigotry to undermine the executive branch over the oath.

    Obama needa to faithfully execute the back of his hand on Roberts for his unseemly Papist conduct.

  9. John Roberts did that because he saw Larry Johnson’s whitey tape, obviously, and he, like any real American, does not believe we should put a half – breed muslin in the white house.

  10. I wonder if Roberts kept messing it up when he was practising and then when he actually screwed it up at the real thing, he said to himself, “OMG, please let this be a dream!” And then Hopey caught the mistake but then he screwed up too! and thought “OMG, I hope this is John Robert’s dream!” If you have ever screwed up during a big moment like this in front of everybody, you have to be sympathetic, I am not kidding.

  11. [re=223789]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]:

    Yeah, but Cleveland was a portly dude so he might as well have been 2 people. He’s not William Howard Taft huge, but Cleveland is no slouch.

  12. [re=223811]Citizen Kang[/re]: I was going to say the same thing. Let’s recall that in ‘The Presidents Song’ from the Animaniacs, Cleveland’s line is simply ‘Grover Cleveland, really fat, elected twice as a Democrat.’

    Obviously he’s not modern fat like the Half Ton Man or Half Ton Teen of TLC fame, but he could still count as two Victorians.

  13. [re=223788]S.Luggo[/re]: You are fucking shitting me. This combined with his Kenya (Indonesia?) birth and secret Muslim religion should disqualilfy him, right? At least if Faux News is flapping their gums about this crap, they will stay out of the real issue.

    Fuck Republicans, everywhere. Fucking fuck them.

  14. [re=223800]Capt. Renault[/re]: DUH! It secures the hold of the AntiChrist over the weak buttsecksed minds of libfools… Which paves the way for the second cumming of Malibu Jeebus with Kung Fu Grip. Also.

  15. Wingnuts are just looking for something, anything to help them get through this miserable day. It won’t work. Everyone is drunk with hope and actual drink. John Roberts is a cocksucker, and in the next 8 years we’ll put sooo many half breed librul gay abortionists on the Supreme Court that it’ll make San Francisco look like Salt Lake City.

  16. [re=223799]Scarab[/re]: Win! I want some big, black, scary Secret Service Agents around this man at all times. Oh no! HE’s getting out of car? Careful Hopey, sweet Jesus.

  17. after all this time and that interminable campaign that was far too stressful for my lady brain to handle without liquor, i STILL can’t believe he is our president.

    i have to go back and read old wonkette posts now.

  18. [re=223814]Sussemilch[/re]: No, the Obama admin will just reinstate the fairness doctrine, so now Bill Ayers has to be on every Fox News show and in every Wall Street Journal editorial page, to provide ‘balance’ to the wingnuts.

  19. Off topic but is anyone watching Andrea Mitchell report from the back of a truck? It is almost as awesome as that time she got squashed by those balloons.

  20. Roberts’ dyslexia will prove an unwieldy scapegoat when he unveils the court’s agenda to ban gay birth and abort partial marriages.

  21. No birth certificate, and now this. If the Freemasons weren’t slipping me all those ameros to keep me quiet, I might take serious action and head over to Free Republic to protest.

  22. B. Hussein Obama cannot be Prezident because he LIED about how many US Mericans have taken the oath of office: He said 44, but he’s LYING because Grover Cleveland took the oath twice. So he cannot be prezdent, also.

  23. Hopey and Michelle just finished walking part of the parade route. All the fevered screaming and cheering along the parade route sounds like a Pentecostal church. I saw unicorns, also.

  24. The camera that was recording Hopey kept getting reflections of the sun during his speech. I guess it should have been symbolic or something but I just giggled a little.

  25. Now that I think of it, my wife goofed up our wedding vows. Wait til I tell her that I can screw whoever I want, and I meant it when I called the kids “those little bastards” all these years.

  26. [re=223790]Doglessliberal[/re]:

    I’m so happy, too. That speech hit all the right notes. Strength without torture, what a concept. Put science back where it belongs, not where it’s convenient for one’s preconceptions. Responsibility, personal and to your community and nation. Bravo.

    Michelle is awesome and the girls were so sweet and well behaved.

  27. Roberts is a cipher and a weenie-head. According to the Constitution, which will now be observed, the Preznit becomes preznit at noon no matter if he takes the oath or not.

  28. [re=223802]Zipperupus[/re]: My is nice to everyone, so he gets the right wing email nutshit at his office. After the election, his batch of nutters had given up the Obama muslim, etc shit and just started sending a plethora of racist jokes.

    This will give them something new to send. I guess that means it’s a happy day in Okrahoma aka Real America.

    Speaking of, has anyone checked on what Palin is doing today? Shooting Democrats from a helicopter?

  29. Hopey Fumbles. Free world goes to second place. Who was second place again? How bout that Alaska Bitchzilla? Fly that crazy bizatch and her dozen kids down here, pronto…

  30. Uncle Teddy,Shame on you trying to steal my THUNDER laying in the floor screaming I’m sorry Mary Jo !!!!!
    I think all that shit was made up just to down play my Awesomeness.

  31. [re=223791]Origami[/re]: I’ve hated this guy–well, as long as I’ve known he existed, actually. But it all came home when he and his pukey wife paraded Little Lord Fauntleroy to his swearing in.

    Fuck. I forgot to look at Michele’s shoes. Can I be a real woman if I don’t have a shoe fetish and am too old to ever need another abortion?

  32. [re=223852]DustBowlBlues[/re]:
    “Speaking of, has anyone checked on what Palin is doing today? Shooting Democrats from a helicopter?”

    The article on The Daily Beast said she’d be working on Alaska State issues, which will be a first for her.

  33. Is anyone else enjoying watching MSNBC lose their collective shit due to Obama’s perceived “puckish humo(u)r”? He’s in the car, he’s out of the car! WHAT WILL THIS GOD-SEND OF A HUMAN BEING DO NEXT!?

  34. Hey, Dust Bowl Blues, speaking of abortions: in honor of the inauguration was Planned Parenthood giving away free abortions today?

    Hmmm. Maybe I’ll check the Tulsa clinic and find out.

  35. [re=223862]Varchar[/re]: Yeah Olbermann is in paroxysms over Obama’s “entertainment value.” The dude is walking down the middle of the street. For this I’m missing quality free internet porn time.

  36. [re=223875]Scarab[/re]: Feh. Applebee’s is too upscale for her. Try Sonic, where she can freely mix her peppermint schnapps in with the extra large vanilla slurpee.

  37. [re=223877]Mr Blifil[/re]: I think they’re all throwing out new material; seeing what sticks. They can’t use “he’s an illiterate dunce” anymore, so they gotta grab onto something with which to frame this guy. “He refuses to be pinned down!” and “Variation is the only constant with this guy!” seem to be what they’ve come up with so far.

  38. This is how awesome Barack Obama is. Even on his inaguration day, he found a way to give the PUMAs hope. However fleeting those fat clumps of humanity felt a stirring of hope. Know hope, ladies. YES WE CAN!

  39. Where in the mother fuck is the drinking game for watching all this ballox?

    Drink every time you hear:
    ‘crowd drowns out commentator / pundit’
    ‘everytime you see opposing an interest group commercials- i.e clean vs dirty coal, EFCA, etc’

  40. I think I just saw Candy Crowley playing a banjo on the flatbed! The press truck looks like the Beverly Hillbillies jalopy.

    Fuck John Roberts. We know he was wrong. But he seriously put a dent in my rewind enjoyment. The Oath wasn’t supposed to be on a blooper reel. Ur doin it wrong!

  41. The gal that designed Michelle’s outfit is my old client. Very talented indie Cubana designer.

    And Chris Wallace can smurf my Trucknutz!

  42. [re=223791]Origami[/re]:

    Roberts would be WasCy or WasRCy or something Pope-ish…

    Still a HuGe AhOle, tho.

    Has Hopey imprisoned W, yet? Wake me.

  43. I love how Barack told Bush and his crew, and the world, that W basically screwed up EVERYTHING, but he said it in a HOPEY way. I also love how when he ended the speech he gave W about .34 seconds of acknowledgement and then immediately moved on to THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE in the surrounding group. The man talks good, symbols good, inspires good. What a flipping relief! And Bush’s copter disappearing, that little black blot receding to nothingness in the DC sky… ahhhhh… we have our world back.

  44. O/t, but having zero fucking bandwidth (thank you Verizon!) at the office, I’m forced to hear the speech on NPR. Barry included “non-believers” in his description of Americans and scored extra points from this atheist. He really is about the tolerance, i’nt he?

  45. [re=223857]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Those are just two of the symptoms. Do you hate to shop? Do you channel surf? Do you hate talking on the phone? Do you love beer?

  46. CNN has a space alien-supplied picture of Hopey being sworn in. He is the first president of the universe? How proud are we today, America?

  47. [re=223886]Dr Tobias Funke[/re]: We’re just drinking sips of delicious champagne from festive flutes today. We don’t have to drown our sorrows today, for the first day in many years.

  48. WTF–I’m watching CNN because at least the do the parade once in a while, and I realize that, although I know the words the The Caissons Keeping Rolling Along, I don’t know how to spell or what the fuck they are. anyone?

    (In the olden days, we learned this kind of thing in school. I can also sing Dixie, the National Anthem, and that weird Marine song about Mexico in ancient days).

  49. Damnit, I was ready with pithy statements like BUSH TO THE HAGUE spams for the Welcome Preznit Bush site, but they seem to be overloaded right now.

    But, it seems like there are plenty of Wonketteers there right now…

  50. Cut the guy a break. There he is reading some obscure old document that hasn’t seen the light of day in – I don’t know- eight years. What’s the big deal if he interperates it a little loosely?

  51. I am in Toronto visiting the parents which means I cannot watch the prade in peace because of the stupid talking heads CNN and MSNBC.

    [re=223907]bitchincamaro[/re]: so I’ve noticed but I have nothing. Care to take a stab at it.

  52. [re=223857]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yeah, you just have to always bring up abortion as the first option, no matter what problem it would be solving.

  53. More ‘change’ at – for the first time since the Clinton Wonder Years, one can actually send a real, standard, ordinary email to, instead of being redirected to that weirdly intrusive and Orwellian interview-form that the Bush Crime Family made us “supplicants” navigate through…

  54. [re=223906]DustBowlBlues[/re]: A caisson is a type of carriage used to hold a mobile artillery piece. You hitch it up to your horse or mule team, which is why it’s obsolete now, although I think they put a coffin on a caisson during a state funeral, too. They just don’t shoot it anywhere. Which I guess is the reason Hunter S. Thompson wasn’t given a state funeral. But I digress.

  55. [re=223906]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Dunno about the caissons, but the Illinois float just passed the reviewing stand. It looked like somebody had hopped off and was robbing everybody in the crowd at gunpoint. Barry is thinking, I’m the first president whose black ass is freezing, watching this stuff.

  56. [re=223931]Dreamer[/re]: John Cornyn held it up just to be a douchebag. Oh, and look what concept he seems to have just discovered: “Transparency transcends partisan politics and the American people deserve to know more.”
    He was talking about Bill’s foundation’s donors, not the previous administration (and it feels so good to say that).

  57. I am fairly Michelle mouthed “it’s over” to Barry when W. flew away with pappy… was watching NBC. Anyone else notice this? She is. SO. AWESOME!1!!

  58. [re=223938]Squish[/re]: Yes, but Feinstein said the arrangement was by Williams. And it seemed a lot more florid and jittery than the Copeland orchestral score, though I may just be imagining that. Figured that was Williams’ turgid, egomaniacal touch.

    Oh, and I’d like to also note that Scooter Libby is still a felon.

  59. So in the unlikely event he actually was born in the US, this so-called “oath” means he still isn’t the president. ha!! We need an in-depth investigation!! What were the fonts used? Do the Obamas have granite counter tops? Who will provide this essential information?

  60. [re=223789]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: If Cleveland was two presidents, Taft must have been three at least. And Bush Junior was only a half.

  61. Oh, and I’d like to also note that Scooter Libby is still a felon.

    You are shitting me. I was sure that W would pardon him at the eleventh hour. OH SNAP SCOOTER HOW YOU LIKE HIM NOW?

  62. [re=223950]teebob2000[/re]: I doubt Al Franken or anyone like that came out and said “I hope Iraq swallows up a couple thousand of our troops so everyone sees how bad an idea this was.”

  63. I’m on CSPN now because I fucking love this parade. It’s just footnote for the news guyz while they keep repeating their opinions. My opinion? This is a fucking great day!

  64. [re=223936]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I hope President Barry does not let these shitheads to push him around. Harry Reid is an weakling – we need someone who can put these assholes in their place.

  65. My favorite evangelist, Bro. Stair, is having no problem fitting Obama into his conspiracy theories. Obama has been known to criticize Leviticus for allowing slavery, hence he’s mocking the Bible, mocking God, hence is a tool of the New World Order, etc., etc.

  66. Fucking racialist parade commenters on CNN!!! One lady just said Obama danced a little “jig” (not too obvious!!!) and another just said “it’s nice to have a president with rhythm” !!!

    Can they say that on basic cable??

  67. [re=223975]teebob2000[/re]: hey if a preacher can talk about mellow yellow and red man then yes. Under Hopey people can say stupid comments because he smart for all of us.

  68. Isn’t it about time we Wonketteers go after radio host Stinky Cheeze the same way we’ve devoured PUMAs et al?

    I mean really: “I hope he fails”?!

  69. [re=223975]teebob2000[/re]: There is going to be SO much inappropriate commentary and inadvertent questioning over the next years. Prepare thyself for weekly douche-chills of embarrassment.

    Might there be a good term for these goofs, say “Black Oops Operations?”

  70. [re=223943]Varchar (100) NOT NULL[/re]: This is why I hope guys like Rush and Hannity fall into a volcano or trash compactor. They are more than just hacks. they are divisive fucks and I hope Rush’s fat covered heart explodes on the air.

  71. I believe it’s time to string up O’Reilly, Hannity and all the other fuckers out there who have it coming….

    Welcome to the New America Bitches! It’s a brand new world.

  72. The Borgen Project has some good info on the cost of addressing global poverty.

    $30 billion: Annual shortfall to end world hunger.
    $550 billion: U.S. Defense budget

  73. Roberts is a zit. Where did he get off asking Obama “Are you ready to take the oath, senator?” Possible replies —

    1. Uh, no. I just brought my family up here to get a better look at old white people.

    2. Maybe if you’d gone to a decent law school, you’d know how to memorize, Mr. Justice.

    3. Are you ready to give it, you dumb offay m*****f*****?

  74. and here i thought his presidency was going to be invalid because he used the name hussein, at least i think that’s what rush limbaugh told me.

  75. The instant that oath screw up occurred, I thought “Here it comes…he’s not really President” and sure enough. Roberts should have printed the damn thing out and brought it with him. Who would have cared? It’s the inauguration of the President of the US. Obama is the Prez, but now my email is going to be full of BS notices from right wingers…thanks Chief Justice of the United States. Thanks a lot.

  76. [re=224084]smellyal8r[/re]: And our reply will be that “the time has come to set aside childish things”, i.e., FUCK YOU WINGERS!!1

  77. [re=223876]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Jill should know what Michelle knew, that you walk proud and straight, don’t hunch over as if you’re cold, even if your coat is open and you’re as cold as heck, walk straight, smile, wave, for you will do that forever, over and over and over…on youtube, on abc, on cbs…

  78. I was pissed off and cursing when Wolf Blitzer interrupted Yo Yo Ma. (Because really, do we need to hear more from me? Not so much.) Then I realized why, and happiness and unicorns followed.

  79. We watched everything on C-SPAN today. Awesome in its simplicity. No flapping heads, no commercials, no experts telling us what Biden was thinking when he said “hi” or 20 minutes obsessing on which dental floss Michele uses. Simple. Clean. C-SPAN. I’m sold. Screw CNN. From here on out I’m a total SPAN-potato.

  80. [re=223894]bitchincamaro[/re]: He left out the Jeffersonian Deists, the people that sort of believe in something. The Agnostics, too. The Unitarians did not get a shout-out or fist bump from Fo’tee Fo!

  81. And they did it a second time to shut the tards up.

    I am somewhat disappointed that Obama did not realise a statement with “kiss my black ass” instead.

  82. [re=224024]Mr. Herpes[/re]: I thought Obama should’ve bitch-slapped Roberts Justice John Chief right there for referring to him as “Senator”, and not “Mr. President-Elect, Sir!”.


    Obama simply did not remember what that judge said there. So putting it all 100% on the judge is not only unfair, it’s just plain inaccurate. And biased. BOTH screwed up. Not just Roberts.

  84. Roberts fucked up because he choked on Obama’s “Hussein.” I mean, did you see the fear in his eyes when he said it? Breath deep John, now say it: “Who-sane?”

  85. of course it was on purpose. roberts knows he has no business being a justice of the court. just another blemish left on the face of america by bushdick.

  86. The crazy second amendment enthusiasts are already proclaiming ‘Welcome to USSA’ holding their flags upside down in shame for the next 4 years, waiting for a Republican to assume office again to fuck up everybody else’s amendments over, but as long as they get to keep their guns.

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