RUMORS ON THE INTERNET  2:15 pm January 20, 2009

Bush Flees The Internet In A Helicopter

by Juli Weiner

  • Tina Brown start-up “Whitehouse.gov” has a new look and a new face and it is that of Barack Obama! Also a new blog called “the Briefing Room.” [Whitehouse.gov/Andrew Sullivan]
  • Jessica Alba, our nation’s greatest Latina President since Lincoln, told Team Fox News that Bill O’Reilly is an asshole. [Crooks and Liars]
  • Famous irrelevant persons Sarah Palin and Bills Richardson and Ayers were not invited to Washington today. The Daily Beast has tracked down what sad alternative activities they will be doing in crushing anonymity instead. [Daily Beast]
  • Here are some closure-y long-distance action shots of Bush’s farewell helicopter (note UFO in second photo). [AMERICAblog]
  • The Greatest Generation: Sasha Obama of course hated Sheryl Crow and will.i.am’s cover of “One Love.” [Slate]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 35 comments }

4tehlulz January 20, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Since Bill Ayers is writing an “invited commentary” for the Wall Street Journal, we now know that Rupert Murdoch objectively supports terrorism.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 2:20 pm

I can actually go and see Bush (live and in person) in a few hours, when he has some weird, sad concert in downtown Midland (possibly with Kid Rock! Or maybe not!) but… well, I could also NOT actually go and see Bush, so that’s probably what I’ll do. Or not do. Fuck that guy.

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Jessica Alba is a dirty Filipina terrorist, unlike Michelle Malkin, who is a dirty Filipina freedom fighter!

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2009 at 2:25 pm

I hope every celebrity starts greeting FOX News producers with “Are you still around?”

chascates January 20, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=223624]Trace[/re]: Please to report back size & mood of Midland crowd if you go. Take shoes for those who may need throwing materials.

shortsshortsshorts January 20, 2009 at 2:27 pm

They say that the whitehouse blog will bring “TRANSPARANCY TO THE WHITE HOUSE.”
If that were true of blogs, why do I still not know what color Matt Drudge’s underwear is?

ManchuCandidate January 20, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Even Sasha knows Bob Marley is the only one who can sing One Love (I always thought he was singing about Ganja.)

Min January 20, 2009 at 2:30 pm

That’s not just any UFO. That’s the mothership, coming to pick up Cheney.

Serolf Divad January 20, 2009 at 2:30 pm

LOL, the Wall Street Journal invited Bill Ayers to write a commentary on the Obama inauguration?! What shameless fucks. I mean really… what shameles fucks!

Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool January 20, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Scientists have proven that drinking Jessica Alba’s bathwater induces a mildly pleasant, jasmine-scented euphoria. We will have to get back to you on O’Reilley if he ever washes, though I think scummy New Jersey va-jay-jay water would be a step up.

President Beeblebrox January 20, 2009 at 2:33 pm

The nutters have started.

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/01/20/1751351.aspx

BARACK HUESEIN NOBAMA NEEDS TO STOP LIEING AND TELL THE TRUH!!!! AND HE HAS LINKS TO BIN LADEN!!!

I love how J. Merle Stanley of Westchester, NY is totally swamped by the horde of unicorn lovers.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=223639]chascates[/re]: From the few years I spent living in Midland, I’m afraid they’ll be mostly pleased to see George and would potentially beat to death anyone who even considered lifting a shoe to shoulder-height.

They’re, you know, salt of the earth people. I should also add that Midland and Odessa are about as close to a post-apocalyptic wasteland you can find prior to said apocalypse. It’s a hellish, barren crater and I can see why Bush would want to fondly return to it.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Oh, but I forgot to mention… I have a few relatives who will be attended the sad loser party and who have promised to send pictures, so I can always post those when I get them. Please let someone cry on stage. PLEASE someone cry on stage.

Monsieur Grumpe January 20, 2009 at 2:37 pm

The Washington monument looks like a giant finger flipping the bird to Bush’s copter as he finally leaves. Beautiful.

azw88 January 20, 2009 at 2:37 pm

OHGOD, Jessica Alba is a hot MILF, that just got even hotter….

Take that, Caribo barbie!!

chascates January 20, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=223659]Trace[/re]: My mother once drove to Midland from Amarillo and had her car’s paint sandblasted off by the wind. Tatooine would be a lovelier place to live.

shanemacgowan January 20, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Wow. I’m going to have to rent “Idle Hands” and “Good Luck Chuck” now.

N8Ma January 20, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Robert Byrd is sick?

Trace January 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Well, I talked to one of my relatives who is in Midland and they tell me that if anyone wants to watch live coverage of the sad display in Midland, it’s at http://www.welcomehomebush.com (Jesus).

They’ve got a webcam that spits out scary static every few seconds. I thought bugs were trying to crawl out of my keyboard and sting me the first time it happened. Ha ha, webcam. You trickster.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 20, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Jessica Alba called Bill O’Liely an asshole? That’s just great, we’ll never get Oliver Willis to stop drooling now. Hope you have a life raft ready.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

shanemacgowan: I haven’t watched “Idle Hands” in years and the memories of it still give the little Zombie Killer a happy.

Terry January 20, 2009 at 2:56 pm

CNN says Teddy collapsed during the luncheon.

Mr Blifil January 20, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Byrd and Kennedy down and poor, weak, harmless Cheney off in his wheelchair in some undisclosed location? Yeah, that’s not suspicious or anything.

actor212 January 20, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Can it be? Will we finally be able to put Fox News straight about their place in the world?

DaRock said it best, Billo: Know your role and shut your mouth!

Purple Tide January 20, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=223671]shanemacgowan[/re]: No, don’t do it. Dane Cook is the Antique Riced.

Canmon (the Inadequate) January 20, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Bill Ayers is not in Toronto. He was denied entry into Canada:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090119.wayers0119/BNStory/International/home

WIDTAP January 20, 2009 at 3:21 pm

I was walking out past the Lincoln Memorial after the Inauguration.Marine One flew over head. The mass underneath waved and shouted “So long and good riddance!”. (Seriously)

This was just before the inflatable Bush statue that some enterprising fellows has set up. For a few bucks they would let you yank on some ropes and topple the status. (Seriously too.)

It was a nice day to be out in DC.

WIDTAP January 20, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Topple the Statue that is.

chascates January 20, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=223757]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: So Canada still has the Bush ‘taint’?
[re=223689]Trace[/re]: And that lunatic Lee Greenwood is saying how Bush has protected us so much we haven’t been attacked again.

assistant/atlas January 20, 2009 at 4:23 pm

That is the first time I have ever seen Jessica Alba speak and not thought to myself: “Why won’t she just shut up and be pretty?”

Truly an historic day.

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 20, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Jessica Alba … told Team Fox News that Bill O’Reilly is an asshole.

Is she allowed to say stuff like that about President O’Reilly?

Trace January 20, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=223849]chascates[/re]: They also have a chatroom full of REAL AMURKINS! They would vote for Bush again given the chance! He was doing God’s will.

Trace January 20, 2009 at 6:44 pm

Well, that Bush speech was fun. The crowd cheered mention of Cheney and Alberto Gonzalez, any mention of the troops (well, the ones that aren’t dead, I guess) and gave a HUGE roaring cheer when Bush said he never needed an opinion poll to tell him what to think. To hell with those un-American majority of Americans who disagreed with him.

He also said that he feels no remorse, did what he thought was right, and kept us safe except for that unfortunate thing on September 11, or whatever that was all about.

Jukesgrrl January 20, 2009 at 7:50 pm

[re=223634]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Or the shorter version, “Andrea Makris?”

WIDTAP January 21, 2009 at 8:00 am

[re=224019]Trace[/re]: Funny how that anthrax attack never counted either.

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