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Get inside, you crazies!Hey America! Those of you without the “luck” to be in Washington D.C. freezing your balls off while the new president was sworn in still had the wonderful opportunity to freeze your balls off someplace else instead while watching the exact same thing! For example, many people in New York City who could have hung out in warm places, like BARS, instead decided to go to Times Square and stand cheek by jowl with 1.5 billion of their fellow citizens watching the guy on the Jumbotron stuttering through his oath of office.

Wonkette reader Jaime sends photos and a report from the scene:

Big crowd. Numb toes. I spent a lot of time contemplating the giant Maker’s Mark ad. And welcoming a new president! And wishing I had bourbon.

I guess I have to work now.

Ah yes Maker’s Mark, like in this photo:

Dook dook dook

Shortly after this next photo was taken, the crowd split in two and did a Busby Berkeley-style musical number and George Bush flew over them in his helicopter and admired the kaleidoscopic symmetry of their choreography. Then he wept into his sleeve and continued on to his Dallas masturbatorium, where he went to bed with a bitter heart and a bottle of Maker’s Mark at his side.

And then they all sang songs from Rent and got punched in the face.

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36 COMMENTS

  1. I was in this sports bar on 41st Street that never serves food, and I figured maybe a dozen people would show up.

    There were over two hundred. The barkeep reserved a seat for me (you migth call me a regular), knowing I’d be in. He leaned over to me and said, quietly, “So many people, so little alcohol.”

    It was pin-drop quiet until the speech was over and then the place exploded with applause.

  2. Wake me when the pictures depict the mounds of groping naked hippies wallowing in mud, filth and spunk as they celebrate Democracy the way our foreskin fathers intended.

  3. OMG! Blond guy on the center left in the top photo…it’s the evil Secret Service agent from 24 who’s about to kill President Taylor’s wife! Run away, New Yorkers, run away!

  4. [re=223695]Styrofoam Boots[/re]: Um, it was the Dark Knight of queer cinema last year (second only to the Dark Knight) so, yes, Mamma Mia is still going on.

  5. i could see standing outside waiting for the doors of macy’s to open for a sale, but to stand out there and stare at a giant billboard of maker’s mark suggest the people of new york have a drinking problem.

  6. Shortly after this next photo was taken, the crowd split in two and did a Busby Berkeley-style musical number and George Bush flew over them in his helicopter and admired the kaleidoscopic symmetry of their choreography. Then he wept into his sleeve and continued on to his Dallas masturbatorium, where he went to bed with a bitter heart and a bottle of Maker’s Mark at his side.

    Sarah. You are wonderful and delightful. What a happpy day this is. Hahahaahhahahaha!

  7. Since Northern Virginians were basically barred from attending ceremony, I replicated the experience by sitting in my backyard in Arlington, listening to the speech on a transistor radio and peering through my neighbor’s window to watch it on his big-screen TV.

  8. I was there! I was there! I was right in the front of the crowd close to the Fox News Jumbotron. After being turned away from Trinity Church downtown, I rushed to the Time Square just in time to catch Obama taking the oath of office.

  9. “…where he went to bed with a bitter heart and a bottle of Maker’s Mark at his side.”

    Uh oh, that’s how I go to bed every night. Better change up the routine if W. is in on it now.

  10. Good god. Times square may be the only place I had less desire to be today than the mall itself.

    But I’m also misanthropic enough to be leaving comments on random “liberal” blogs at three in the morning and detesting the idea of having to have actual human interaction tomorrow.

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