It is actually a beautiful, sunny day in Washington D.C., in the freezing winter! The people are hopey, happy, etc. Allah really does want this Barack Obama character to become president, of Earth. Let us now continue the patriotic liveblogging of this Inauguration Day Inaugural Special, from Washington, where somehow another Bush is not becoming president today.
11:20 AM — Previous Inaugural Day liveblogs are here, and also here.
11:20 AM — “Ahm all right,” says mean old Barbara Bush Sr., as she leaves poor hobbling George H.W. Bush Sr. all alone, stuck on the cold metal steps.
11:21 AM — And now a live shot of … a white moving van. Boxes. These boxes, or boxes like them, are American Heroes — because one of these boxes crippled Dick Cheney!
11:21 AM — Here comes Dollar Bill Clinton and the would-be Secretary of State. The crowd loves ‘em! And David Vitter — the shit-eating hooker-using Diaperman of the GOP — voted against her, while John Cornyn, the “dildo cowboy,” has blocked the appointment. Great men, both of them.
11:22 AM — HOTNESS BABE ALERT, as the Bush Twins are seated. Jenna looks dazed, as usual, while Young Barbara is so pretty. How is she related to her parents and grandparents? She’s not — like Lauren Bush and Pierce Bush, Young Barbara was grown in the super-secret laboratory at Kennebunkport.
11:24 AM — CUTENESS ALERT omg look at the Obama girls.
11:25 PM — GROSS ALERT good christ Lynne Cheney, you suck the life and joy out of the entire National Mall.
11:26 AM — But just for a moment, because look at that crowd. And look at Aretha Franklin! She will sing the National Anthem. Did you know she is a Civil Rights Icon? It’s true! (She was also very funny in The Blues Brothers.)
11:27 AM — The older Obama girl, Malia, is gorgeous. Look at that purple coat with the faux-fur trim. Jesus, who makes clothes like that for little girls? This entire country is going to start dressing a lot better, isn’t it? (That is your editor’s Hope, for this Nation of Slobs.)
11:28 AM — Wow, Michelle’s dress. That is crazy. Nobody else could pull that off, except, maybe, Audrey Hepburn or something.
11:32 AM — Well, George W. Bush Junior, you sad buffoon, we will be gracious today, and just say HOORAY FOR EARTH, YOU ARE GOING BACK TO TEXAS. If there’s anything good to say about him, this cunt, it’s that we fully expected Washington (and the whole planet) to be a smoking lifeless ruin by now.
11:34 AM — Your editor is now going to take a few minutes to watch this with his young sons, in the living room, because wtf.
11:39 AM — Here comes Mr. Cool, your almost president. But first, Joe Biden needs to come out and tell some jokes about Pakistanis or whatever.
11:41 AM — Can you imagine what’s on the collective Fox News Viewer brain, at this moment?
11:43 AM — Let’s check in again. Ugh, so quiet and joyless and somber. But of course … a black half-muslin.
11:43 AM — “Ladies and gentlemen, the president elect of the United States of America, Barack H. Obama.”
11:44 AM — Hey, what does that H stand for, anyway?
11:44 AM — “OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!” So that’s what the H stands for, as a couple of million people are chanting this, right now.
11:46 AM — Diane Feinstein is in charge of this whole thing! She apparently is in favor of “ballots over bullets,” which is the usual far-left California moonbattery.
11:48 AM — Oh hey it’s that fat queer Rick Warren.
11:49 AM — Jesus fucking christ, this classy event is now stained by this jackhole mall-church porpoise-driven fake-laugh bullshit.
11:50 AM — And yet, there are hundreds of black people in the CNN crowd shots with eyes closed and hands clasped together. There are even women in half-muslin headcloths in the crowd, seemingly praying to the American God of Malls.
11:52 AM — Rick Warren said “Malia and Sasha” like some Mexican porn narrator.
11:52 AM — Will this country ever be free from this dimbulb religious nuttery? How is this rich, powerful country still crippled by this nonsense? Whatever, let’s listen to Aretha.
11:54 AM — The range isn’t there anymore, 40-plus years since her Motown Atlantic Records classics, but she’s working the limits with a good soul-y growl. And the choir is helping out. Hah, and she gets in some of those high notes anyway. Nice.
11:56 AM — It is too bad how the White House Christmas Tree bow tragically fell on her head, but she still looks great, at what, 75 years old?
11:57 AM — Biden, you nut! Here, now, as he takes his oath, this oaf, we realize the genius of picking Gaffey Joe for vice president. He seems absolutely cuddly compared to the evil wheelchair-bound Bond villain we’ve just said good-bye to, on teevee. Let’s say it again, together: GOOD-BYE DICK CHENEY, YOU EVIL MOTHERFUCKER. THANKS TO ALLAH FOR FORCING YOU TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO SEE A BLACK MAN BECOME PRESIDENT! NOW FUCK OFF AND DIE.
11:59 AM — And now famous Hollywood composer John Williams will conduct the “Imperial March,” as Cheney is wheeled into a vat of cooking oil.
12:00 PM — So, the Constitution says the president must be sworn in by Noon, right? NOBAMA EVER.
12:01 PM — YIKES, what? Wolf Blitzer just talked over Yo Yo Ma to say that, even though the oath has not been given, Barack Obama is now legally, and technically, the president of the United States. No wonder he’s smiling so much at this fruity music. Oh wait, now he’s not. Now his eyes are closed and he looks serious. Michelle just squeezed his shoulder, which is the secret “Uh dude you are president now” fist jab.
12:03 PM — Next up, your own Jim Newell, with the exciting Inaugural Address liveblog, plus the 21-gun salute, and mass craziness. You must stay tuned!
12:04 PM — Ha, now whenever people ask Yo Yo Ma, “What were you doing when Barack Obama became president?”, he can say, “I was cold playing the cello for him.”
12:05 PM — John Roberts just called him “Senator.” So rude!
12:05 PM — “Congratulations, Mr. President.”
12:05 PM — So, that happened.
{ 303 comments }
I am so gonna cry my fool head off.
IT’S STILL NOT TOO LATE TO PRODUCE YR REAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE, HUSSEIN
Poor HIlbot is struggling to keep up the perky face.
How much Valium has Laura consumed today?
I can’t believe this is actually happening.
Nice job on the “reanimated corpse” look, Lynne.
After being sworn in Hopemaster will levitate and fly around the spread unicorn dust over all
OMG! The crowd is chanting Obama’s name…FOX news must be scared to death
Oh. My. God. Those children are adorable. And more stylish than me. Which makes me quite sad.
Tweety just outed MSNBC as stinky libruls. It’s meta-commentary.
Look at that crowd.
A seriously medicated W is now on CNN.
Zowie. I’m callous, but could Michelle and Jill look more extravertedly hawt?
The men of FOX news are slobbering over Michelle Obama. They’ve proclaimed her “amazing and beautiful”…
Britt thinks Jill looks good, too. Cause she’s white.
Pls tell me Obama is wearing a Brooks Brothers suit today, b/c that would signal the new American style resurgence. All that other hopey shit, who cares.
There’s SHITHEAD!
OMG, where are they taking Cheney?? They just wheeled him down some alternate corridor.
[re=222910]DoctorCulturae[/re]: And the NYSE will magickly go up 10,000 points!!! Hooray! Recession ovah!
Holy shit NICE NECKLACE, Michelle!
What color is Michelle wearing? I have no name for that color.
Bush Sr. gave some dude in the military what I like to call a “good game tap?” Did anyone else see/enjoy that?
OH! This is the first time I’ve got a full length shot of Michelle. Stunning.
Time now for Khmer Rouge-style new-order resetting of the calendar, I say.
USA Year Zero, bitches! (uhh, minus the genocide, of course – but the forced work camp retraining sessions would be okay, I suppose).
STFU Wolf, you asshole apologist.
[re=222909]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: It’s Necronomicon-chic. It’s in for 2k9.
[re=222924]jagorev[/re]: Butterstick
Chris Matthews just remarked that you can see a lot of white teeth from all the smiles. Chris, go down this road very carefully.
Sasha and Malia, oh for the cute! ((*clasps hands over chest and swoons*))
Young Barbara Bush has the fake, sorority girl smile on…you know she’s saying bitter, bitter things to her sister thru gritted teeth.
[re=222918]Mighty Rex[/re]: Hopey only wears communist union-made suits from Hart Schaffner Marx.
Every time they show Cheney in that wheelchair I cackle. I am awful.
Gah! Cheney in a wheelchair!
Well. I guess the MSM will have a difficult time explaining the spontaneous singing and booing of Dub. Isn’t this what happens when dissent is manipulated and squashed.
O Michelle pretty! Lots of sparkly stuff for mid-day. Can that be the new fashion thing-y? Sparkly all day?
[re=222925]pocket Liz[/re]: Yeah…crazy old coot!
[re=222924]jagorev[/re]: It’s by some Cuban/American designer…let’s call it “inaugural tobacco leaf gold”
[re=222924]jagorev[/re]: Champagne Blingee.
How cute to see Bush with that idiot grin, as usual, plastered on his face and Cheney literally turning into a bobblehead as the camera can’t quite get him and bush in the same frame. Oh, how delicious is vengenance.
How will I stop myself from racing through my corner of Real America and shouting, “Eat it, racists.” Which would have ramifications on my life here–really.
Cheney is just like Old Mister Potter in It’s A Wonderful Life.
[re=222924]jagorev[/re]: Nanna yellow.
Dr Strangelove is in the house.
Shit! There’s Old Man Potter in his wheelchair. Screw you, Potter! The Bailey Home & Loan is NOT for sale!
HOLY SHIT did they boo the sitting President? ha ha
W Arrives to a chorus of “boos” from his own party!
Cheney couldn’t look any more like the penguin unless he swapped that cane for a sleeping gas shooting umbrella
Dr. Strangelove lost his magnificent head of hair! :(
Cheney looks like the cruel banker from It’s a Wonderful Life.
Fuck, this is hard as being president. I’m running from wonkette the one tv with BET, another with BBCA and a third with PBS, then I’m tryingn to keep up with NPR.
I am too old for this multi-tasking.
[re=222931]NoWireHangers[/re]: Now, there’s a veteran of Wonkette!
wonkette ran out of snark! “11:34 AM — Your editor is now going to take a few minutes to watch this with his young sons, in the living room, because wtf.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[re=222951]smellyal8r[/re]: The amount of Love America has for Barack = The amount of Hate America has for W
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Did you guys hear the crowd singing “Nananana Hey Hey Hey Goodbye” to Bush like he just fouled out of a college basketball game? Because… yeah.
Wow. I just heard the thundering sounds of one hand clapping.
[re=222954]imarmcandy[/re]: win!
Please don’t force me choose between Michelle O and Barbara Bush. It’s not fair.
Red tie!
Is Dubya going to have “very intimate” memories of being booed by millions of people?
[re=222935]hockeymom[/re]: She’s wondering who’s looking after the ghetto, what with all of ‘them’ here right now.
Is the Chocolate Rain guy announcing dignitaries or what?
Oh, how I dislike the douchy John Cornyn! I can’t believe my state re-elected him.
Can’t he cling to his religion and guns silently… with a muzzle? Move.on John, just Move.on.
Good god does Biden look like a smug asshole.
Which is to say, it’s a normal day.
I can’t decide which is worse…Tweety and Olbermann squabbling or Britt Hume muttering how Bush kept us safe, forever and ever.
Hopemaster has that Muhammad Ali “I’m coming in the ring” look!
I’ve just added MSNBC. I shall, however, have my butt in front of only one chair for this point—-Bidin in!
[re=222950]jagorev[/re]: AMERICA!!!1!!
IT’S HOPEY!!!!!
Gosh darn it, I love Joe Biden. The gaffemeister will give us plenty of yuks for the next four years…
Aww, look! Barry is the most adorable President EVER.
HE LOOKS AMAZING AND SERENE!
Pelosi has such a boner right now.
Biden looks like he might starting singing and dancing.
Voldemort in the wheelchair is the Best. Thing. Ever.
I wonder if he’ll turn to dust at The Moment?
Juan says Obama looks “very sober”….
as opposed to drunk?
[re=222969]jbd[/re]: a hawt smug asshole
[re=222970]hockeymom[/re]: they fight like a married couple
Man…it’s finally about to happen. The executive orders spilling off the printer today will totally overwhelm Mrs. Landingham…
[crowd shot]
Look, there’s Kev-o-tron, anonymously crowd-groping a chick and a dude simultaneously! Go for it, Kev!
jeez. now it occurs to me. rove or somebody said “dick old boy here’s the thing: we put you out there with your glasses in a wheelchair. You’ll totally steal the FDR-thunder from Obama. George, at exactly 11:59 am, you pull out your stove-pipe hat and fake beard. After that public swearing-in moment, nobody will ever associate Obama with either of those 2 icons again. It will be you guys all the way.”
DC is beautiful, isn’t it? So many happy people in town, too.
Yay, us!
Wow. Nancy Pelosi’s got some good hair today. *applause*
Nancy Pelosi looks great. It helps to be rich as Xerxes, but she looks fab!
Boos for Boner.
Sue me, but I love Steny Hoyer. He graduated from Suitland High School in PG County, Md.
then the announcer says “ARE YA READY FOR SOME POLI-TIIICKS?!”
Oh dear, one of those trumpets sure is struggling.
CNN needs to boot Bill Bennett’s big ass and get Kathy Griffin to yell at people about their dicks and mouths and whatnot.
Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!
H instead of Hussein? Dat’s no Muslin!
“H”
okay.
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
When he’s sworn in, are they gonna “H” him there, too?
Here it is. Hope. Finally. Ladies and gentlemen. The final 16 minutes of the Bush Administration.
H?
No Hussein?
What’s the music being played for Obama? Anyone know?
Are any of MLK’s children on the stage?
>>Can you imagine what’s on the collective Fox News Viewer brain, at this moment?
Has anyone checked Confluence lately?
Dianne: It is my sad duty to report that George Moscone and Harvey Milk have been shot…what? Oh…here’s my script”
HOPEY’S GONNA CRY!!!!
I love that Bill gave Hillary a little squeeze when Obama shook her hand. That’s a nice husband.
I also love that step-grandma from keyna is there…smiling her head off!
[re=223001]Scott-san[/re]: Yes…in fact I think it might be the full middle name…
[re=223005]chascates[/re]:
They should be. I’m glad Teddy was there.
[re=222924]jagorev[/re]: It’s called “democracy.”
I took a quick look over at Fox. They’re actually being pretty gracious. Shep managed to sneak in a little snark here and there but overall he’s not being a douche.
Move on, Dianne. Your hair is in need of an update and I want to hear no more from you.
Golf clap for the pastor.
Ouch, Dianne. I’m realizing that every speech today about this being “turning point” is a dagger in Dubya’s heart.
Good.
Snark is beyond me right now. I am SO happy. Yay, us.
“the ballot over the bullet”. hmm. no mention of suppressing the vote, judicial malfeasance, other things which put in Bush twice.
Oh fun the fat preacher ruined everything now.
Twelve minutes. Can Bush destroy one more thing before leaving? Let’s find out!
Rick Warren is, however, a putz.
Warren is a poet and he know it.
*vomit*
Ugh. Pastor guy. Talk fast and leave.
Is Rick Warren going to eat a dick, right there onstage?
warren says god is loving to “everyone”.
Even teh gays, Rick?
Rick Warren sounds drunk
[re=223013]The Decider[/re]: Shep is the one actual journalist over there and it’s sort of hilarious to watch him slowly crack with the other folks he works with.
“Barack H. Obama?” Really? We all know his middle name by now, announcer guy.
Hey Rick Warren, go ahead and die. KTHXBYE!
One good thing about watching from home – the ability to mute Rick Warren.
Warren is so lame. I hope Rev. Lowery–the retired U Methodist, if I haven’t mentioned it yet today–blows them away.
“…And keep teh gayz from ruinzin our marriage!” – R. Warren
OK, Time for atheist bathroom break –> BRB
[re=223023]OffTheRecord[/re]:
This guy is yappier than Joe Biden, and that is saying something.
Rick Warren is tolerable if you add “except the gays” to the end of each faux-impassioned sentence.
Warren, what a buzzkill. Get off.
“Today the real test of power is not the capacity to make revolution but the capacity to prevent it.”
– Anne O’Hare McCormick. not.
*More one-handed applause*
Wheelchair Cheney haz been crippled by ur good feelings
“History is your story”? That’s quite an indictment.
[re=223003]hockeymom[/re]: Didn’t you know H now stands for Hopey? Hussein is so 2008.
oh look, its gay-hatin rick to say a few words to obama’s magical space god
Begone, you fat fuck pastor. He’s wanting God to forgive people for not respecting others. He better fucking hope so.
This is an epic fail for Internet 2.0. I can get no stream from any site. CNN/Facebook told me they were putting me in a queue to watch their crappy amateurish coverage. SCREW YOU CNN! You will not succeed in destroying hope and freedom.
Five bucks says he’s going to close with “God Bless America and remember: God hates fags.”
Damn. Rick Warren is a bonehead.
Rick Warren: “God, God, Race, America, blood, freedom, justice, no homo, God, respect, forgiveness…”
Civility in our attitudes except when we’re talking about the queers, right, Rev Douche?
please get this fat tub of shit off of my tv
Everyone loves each other today! Well, at least those freezing their asses off collectively in DC
Easy on the Jesus, buddy!
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Rick Warren just hit on the Obama girls, I think.
AHHH! Sasha is fooling around and not praying! God, I love her more! That SASS!
Don’t you dare speak the name of the Obama children you creep! Ugh. This is a fucking long prayer.
and gawd said: “you see me typing; if you don’t see me typing; whatever the f*ck you see me doing, “
Sasha!
Had to get Jesus in-If anyone would look up, they would notice the Jefferson Monument puking.
Aw, shit, I’m going to lunch, dude.
I was under the, obviously wrong, impression that this hater of gays was only being given two minutes to pray that the Republicans could have a do-over of the election.
Wow, this could be known as the alienation prayer. Yikes.
Amen. He’s finished.
OMG THE CHRISTIAN PASTOR GUY MENTIONED “JESUS”
The libtards will be outraged. I think I hear Glenn Greenwald starting up a 10,000 word essay right now.
Aretha! Sing it, girlfriend!
Aretha, your hat is FUGLY.
My CNN feed is several minutes behind. Anybody else having that?
What a long-winded shit. Goodbye, Rick.
“All the respect they deserve,” eh Rick? Irony much?
Aretha and her awesome hat will get this show back on the road.
now THAT is a bow.
Oh, snap! CNN’s live stream just pwn3d me! Come back!
[re=223044]El Bombastico[/re]: http://www.ustream.tv NOW NOW NOW!
Lord have mercy look at that hat on Aretha.
Why are we singing God Save the Queen at an American inauguration?
God, I want a hat like that. Sing it ‘retha!
BBC says Ric Warren in now our national chaplain. Hold on to your horses, Limey. I’m going back to PBS.
Hey everyone it’s Aretha, unmute your tv’s.
and that is why gawd looks out today at the president and his precious fambily and says “GIT R DUNNN!”
Holy hat, Aretha!
Aretha will clear the air of Pastor Ricky.
Some hat!
ABC apparently is running old B-roll from their station sign of tapes while Arethra Franklin sings. I fully expect them to go to a test pattern at the end of the song.
The Lords Prayer? Man, how non-ecumenical can you get. Even B Graham didn’t do that!
REE REE! *loves the hat*
It was so much better last time when Ted Nugent sang “America the Beautiful” then shot 10 point buck from across the mall with a compound bow shaped flaming guitar.
Mmmm Aretha singing in tongues…. it’s a beautiful day
Oh goody! Back in time for some Urethra!
HuffPo has MSBC Streaming, fyi.
LOL Aretha just said “my cunt”
thank god, it’s Aretha. my palate needs cleansing after Warren.
That was the best since Marvin Gay’s All-Star game’s Star Spangled Banner
4 more minutes. Filled with hope I am.
Justice Stevens, my hero. You go, man.
If only it were John Paul JONES makin’ Barry promise to rock.
Robinette?
What?
Do they have Joe Biden on 5-second delay, in case he gets torret’s?
Joe, dude, you came a long way from Scranton. Bless your heart.
[re=223070]SkimLatteModerate[/re]: Thanks! that’s more like it.
http://www.ustream.tv/
Cheney is gone!!! All hail Vice King Biden!
“The duties of the office I am about to enter, also”
Robinette?
<3 Joey!
What a day to have the worst download speeds at work. Ever.
dick cheney is no longer the vice president :-)
Now, the playing of Hail Columbia…the vice presidential music…Cheney has dissolved back to mercury to reform himself.
Did anyone notice that JR Ewing is standing behind Joe Biden as he’s being sworn in?
On this solemn, yet joyous occasion all Wonkettes should take a moment and talk smack about Bill Kristol.
I’m sat in my office in London and am probably still closer to the Capitol than the people at the back of the crowd…
Ding Dong the Dick is Gone!!!!!!!
Imagine, if you will, a parallel universe where the Snowbilly was just sworn in.
Joe Biden just gay kissed a dude. lawlz.
Holy shit, that’s like the most star-studded quartet ever!
[re=223106]texette[/re]: Witch o dick?
Did Cheney just melt into a puddle on the floor?
Now that Joe Biden’s been sworn in, does he get to be president for a very brief period if Dubya keels over in the next three minutes, perhaps due to the cold?
John Williams=Imperial March?
oh wait wrong inauguration
Great music today. Wow
Man kisses all around! Go Joe!
Damn that is some uber quartet! And Star Wars guy composed it without the Darth Vader inspired riffs.
Can I be real, guys? Was kinda hoping the Jonas Brothers would be doing this performance. Kinda sad right now.
Robert Gibbs sits with the musicians. Not a bad seat, eh?
Hail, Hail The Dick is Dead!
This would be a really BAD time to break a sting, Yo-Yo.
“Air in Simple Gifts” originally written for Ewok funeral scene in Return of the Jedi. True story.
Yo Yo Ma rocks and this music is amazing.
[re=223104]bfstevie@yahoo.com[/re]: OK. Dr Kristol is a douchebag tool who should be drawn and quartered for the enjoyment of all.
Simple gifts, awesome. Great song. It’s a gift to be simple, a gift to be free.
FORMER President George Bush! How sweet it is!!
Since John Williams composed this, I was expecting something along the lines of the Throne Room theme from Star Wars. Instead, it’s more the violin piece from Shindler’s List.
OK, those of you on the mall who have to use the Port-a-potty, raise your hands.
Halleh-fucking-lulia!!! It’s done! Long live BHO. God bless America!!
JWills in the hizouuuuse!
They had the righties on their side with Rick Warren. Now the crowd will turn ugly due to the, ahem, “jazz”.
John Williams and Yo Yo Ma? Wasn’t this actually part of an episode of The West Wing? The one where Josh couldn’t listen to music or something?
Liberals are classy, I’ll give ‘em that.
[re=223121]AmazingLarry[/re]: LOL.
What, no John Legend?
How can that cello sound so flipping good in freezing weather? There must be some magic juju on it. Aretha sounded weak, but she still has some powerful magic juju.
Obama is late. I blame Rick Warren for praying too long.
[re=223117]Colander[/re]: Can we hunt the Jonas brothers for their pelts?
[re=223107]Terry[/re]:
Will make for bad Science Fiction and Horror literature, no?
This beats Lee Greenwood at all three Bush inaugurals
Loves me some Aaron Copland. Tres Americana. Thank Gawd there’s no Palindrone around to ruin it!
Anyone know if Barbara Jordan is buried in the State Cemetary here in Austin? I’d like to take today’s paper and lay it on her grave.
[re=222906]pepe[/re]: Like the moon landing, it isn’t.
Ding dong the witch is dead . . . .
Somebody give Yo-yo Ma the Nobel Peace Prize already!
HA! Your silly musics have undone the constitution!
This is the most racially harmonious quartet eva!
[re=223131]TheMacWonk[/re]: Yo Yo Ma rules!
No one will be seated during the shocking caesar salad sequence.
Ken – It was a different part of the country than Motown. Aretha was on the Atlantic label with the great Jerry Wexler producing when she was belting out “Baby, I Love You” and all those other gems.
Barry’s a bit eager there…
Hussein!
Remember this time four years ago when we were watching the presidential oaf of office? This is much much better.
Ugh. Roberts. Pig.
Right now, blood is squirting profusely from the fire-sprinklers at the confluence.
Awwwwwkkkward!
Ahh Barry’s nervous!
ack! nerves taking over
Original composition? I think a big chunk was stolen sampled from Lord of the Dance.
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mr Preznit Barry Obama!!! Huzzah! Suck on it Bitters!
Orgy time.
WOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shame he fucked up the oath massively, but what the hell.
Note to Americans: The rest of the world now likes you again. Well done.
Anticlimatic, how JP Stevens fucked up the oath so badly
something in my eye
HOLY SHIT THE MARINES ARE SHELLING THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!
OMFG, first his phony birth certificate, now the screwed up oath!!!
He’s NOT PREZNIT!!!1!!
Aww, the poor guy was nervous. It’s all the more endearing, really.
the illuminati just caused my cnn feed to block out his actual “i do”. I presume he did, because of the music and cannons and everything.
Is it just me or did Barry get a little overexcited there?
Guantanamo is being sucked into another universe as we speak!
I feel like America just won a Grammy, y’all!
This is amazing folks. This is what we are supposed to be.
That is it. We did it. We survived eight years of George W. Bush. Congratulations everyone!
Roberts screwed up the oath, wingnuts declaring it unofficial in 5,4,3,2…
The oath was kind of a cluster. A nervous President and a jittery Chief Justice. I guess it took, no?
Your 100 hours to change my world starts now, Barry.
What have you done for me lately?
… and I thank Bill Kristol for informing me that Bush indeed did serve his nation. I did not know that.
A single tear rolls down my cheek!
[re=223123]smellyal8r[/re]: Thanks, dude.
Isn’t Barry supposed to be the eloquent one?
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
actually only 43 HOPEY — first mistake of the admin
[re=223165]teebob2000[/re]: Seriously, about how long will it take the PUMA/bigfoot hunters to insist since he didn’t say it word for word he’s not actually president? I’m serious. Bets?
New inaugural address LiveBlog, here, fellow citizens.
Starting the inaugural address on a high note, eh…
Thanks, Barry, for the insta-downer with all this “reality” stuff. Way to harsh teh buzz.
[re=223161]Hello Sunshine[/re]: Sorry about the past eight years.
[re=223168]P Drizzle[/re]: It’s due to the smack Mitch McConnell slipped into Barry’s porridge.
[re=223178]Dire squirrel[/re]: Yeah, but Favreau didn’t write the oath.
the pugs up there have to be triply nervous:
1) fear of hicks who want to attack obama
2) fear nation/world who want to imprison them
3) fear of a non-con planet
Scripture: The adults are now in charge!
Ok, not trying to cry at work, dudes. Can’t…be…that…guy…
“subject to data and statistics” … a memorable phrase.
“Endured the lash of the whip.” Nice.
Please Barry, exit out with Wu Tang’s “Aint Nuthing Ta Fuck Wit”
“The time has come to put aside childish things.”
Does that mean I can’t read Wonkette anymore?
Yay, work!
[re=223176]NoWireHangers[/re]: Lucky you. My collar is drenched.
“Restore science to its rightful place.” Please, oh God, yes.
“restore science to its rightful place”
I love you, Barack. I really really do.
Sci..What is… Oh yeah– Science!!!! The smart people won!
“Harness the sun, and wind, water, heart, earth. With our powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!”
Ha ha. Hils got seated next to Bush 1. Here face is scrunching up over that old-man smell.
I just hope “science” will engineer nanobots to go after the neocon criminals if the administration won’t do it themselves.
Do we all have to “do our business in the light of day”?
That’s just gross.
Today, we are all Krugmanites!
Shout out to Jay-Z “dust ourselves off”. Wu-Tang up next.
W looks like he’s got a mouthful o’ bitter.
My vote is for Barry to walk off to DMX: “X Gon give it to ya”
Wow, that last bit @TheTerrorists was so much more effective than W’s “with or against us” line. Completely called out Mugabe just now for blaming the west for things like Cholera and superhyperinflation.
He’s saying that now that he’s in charge I have to depend on the rest of you for everything. I knew this wasn’t going to go my way. Bring back the free spending Republicans NOW!
I vote Nelly: I am Number 1
Poetry….is….now….prose…..read….haltingly……and…..missing……modifiers……
occasionally….. Where is now working to achieve so glorious humble exalted discord unicorn butterfly?
The new hotness is at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
[re=223014]lazyb[/re]: I hate Dianne Feinstein. What a worthless Senator. Never met a piece of intrusive bullshit nannystate legislation, especially Drug War crap, that she didn’t love. But she’s just a nannystater for us peasants. Business and LE can do whatever the fuck they want. And, like Lieberman, she’s pretty much Feinstein (D-Israel).
They say she’s going to run for Cali Governor. Oh please, God, no.
[re=223157]revmod[/re]: Yeah … they said it was a riff on “Simple Gifts”, a lot of versions of which include that “Lord of the Dance” tune, too.
Itzhak-Baby can really *play* that thing … I got little butterflies …
[re=223171]OffTheRecord[/re]: Do they have an “I SURVIVED THE BUSH/CHENEY ADMINISTRATION” t-shirt yet?
No snark for me today, just happy tears.
Okay, here’s some snark: OMG DICK CHENEY I’M SO GLAD YOUR WITHERED BABOON HEART HELD OUT LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SEE THIS, YOU TWISTED OLD FUCK.
Now excuse me, I am going to go walk into the nearest bar and buy everybody a round of drinks.
Excellent and spot on, Ken.
[re=223140]chascates[/re]: “Anyone know if Barbara Jordan is buried in the State Cemetary here in Austin?”
YES
Apologies — make that Barbara Jordan’s grave here
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=6456
If he was gonna do a rap bit I was kinda hoping for the “Now a word from the President,” bit in the Gheto Boys “Damn it feels Good to Be a Gangsta”. More particularly, the “Now I got the world swingin’ from my nuts, and damn, it feels good to be a gangsta”
Typed through the tears. Grats, America
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