Your latest report from the brave yet doomed COMICS CURMUDGEON: “Attempted to get to mall at 7th, were told it was full and we should go to 14th. Now we are trudging through this Le Corbusier-style hellscape. We will end up watching the speech from Arlington, in an Olive Garden, obviously. Sent from my iPhone.” Even elitists need bottomless grease-bread sticks! [Earlier Josh Reports]

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