Wonkette
These toilets were anxious to get out of town this morning before they were forcibly conscripted into acting as poop receptacles for the two MILLION inauguration-going, be-fanny-packed out-of-towners who went to Chili’s last night, but they missed the 6:30 train out of Baltimore Penn Station. Now they are doomed. Pray for them.
Photo courtesy of famed sanitation-box portrait artist Josh Fruhlinger. Send in your own photos of objects or humans in or around DC today to tips@wonkette.com.
…you know Larry Craig was too far away!
They heard about the metric ton of crystallized poo over at the Spy Museum and decided, wisely, to run like hell the other way. Obvs.
…sorry, I just had to get that out of the way. Now we can get into the really creative snark!
Alas, poor Porta-John, I knew him, Horatio:
A fellow of infinite depth, of most excellent odours: he hath
relieved me of my burden a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination he is!
The one on the “far left” is not in line with the others. Maverick.
Geez, at this rate it’ll be less disgusting to get adult diapers and crap yourselves. Louisianans, contact your Senator.
Joe the Plumber could be in blue water heaven, but he’d rather be playing Christine Amanpour.
queeraselvis v 2.0: …poop-cicles?!
Rush: McCain’s hiding place has been discovered!
HENGGHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?! he grunts, as he emerges from his hiding cave. Run, innocent revellers, run!
White House, Shit House, I got nothin.
…but just 2 hours and 45 minutes to go! and then let the investigations begin!
…going to the “Porta-Potty” should be an Olympic event. Because I know I’m not the only one that holds his breath from the moment I open the door until the moment I exit! You really don’t know how fast you can force your self to piss until you are standing in a diarrhea and urine soaked room the size of a closet!
AngryBlakGuy:
As bad as they are, I have seen the results of too few porta pottys at an overpopulated event. The horror my eyes have seen. Never forget!
FIX MY FUCKING PORTA-JOHN, JOE!*
*Liberbman or the Plumber. Also.
dutchie: The world will little note nor long remember the millions of craps taken here today…and yet let us not forget those valiant polystyrene shelters, who like their brick forefathers, have quietly accepted their reccomended capacity, and yes even more, even when their generous supply of paper was exhausted they kept receiving unto their last full measure.
AngryBlakGuy: What did I read this while drinking a hot beverage?
Today will be hell on anyone imbibing alcohol. Personally, my bladder is the size of a Juicy-Juice box, so would basically have to duct tape a Gatorade bottle to the end of my penis and ‘make it work’.
Rush: No no. That’s Joe the Plumber’s hiding place, from whence he could emerge and spoil the whole inauguration theme. Now that he’s stuck in Balmer, he is going to be pissed.
Homeless shelters? Cheney souvenir Man-size safes?
If they explode, sending steaming feces all across the adoring sheeples, will Drudge put up huge sirens with headlines “Shit hits fans”?
AngryBlakGuy: you are standing in a diarrhea and urine soaked room the size of a closet!
and that is just my hotel room.
Mr Hanky, the Inauguration Poo!
Monsieur Grumpe: …being that I am African, I have seen some atrocities when it comes to “restrooms”. And by restroom I mean filthy fly infested out-house! So don’t try and scare me with your port-a-potty stories my friend!
I think this the portos could be spared from this miserable fate if all the tourists just put the Stadium-pal pouch inside their fanny-packs. I’m pretty sure it was Dogless Liberal that showed us this the first time. It is awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBdymtyXt8Y
The only feed making it through my job’s firewall is the C-SPANs. SO BORING! Where’s the pagainism goin down? I haven’t seen one calf’s head all morning.
Schadenfried: …the two rules for browsing Wonkette:
1.) Never post with a BAC below .11
2.) Never hold a hot beverage(unless it has alcohol)
AngryBlakGuy:
It’s not so much what I saw inside the Porta Pottys, It’s what I saw outside. Fat, ugly, drunk Minnesota women pulling their pants down everywhere. Damn it, the nightmares will be starting again.
POSTING IN EPIC PORTO-O-SAN THREAD
Wolf Blitzer just compared the huge gathering to the Hajj in Mecca. The wingnut part of the Web just caught on fire.
mylesfromnowhere: …damn you must have one of those fancy suites! Mines is not only diarrhea and urine soaked but also jizz stained! If you turn on a black-light in my hotel room, you might very well blind yourself. ELITIST!
Monsieur Grumpe: …just be like me and drink until the bad thoughts go away!
I hear that once Hopey takes the oath of office, all port-a-potties will magically empty and clean themselves every hour.
I don’t get the portajohns. We never had them at Mardi Gras. What’s wrong with pissing in the street, as Jesus demands on the day before Lent?
…someone already beat him too it!
SayItWithWookies: So that’s the Rivers of Gold everyone’s been talking about!
NewAlgier: That comment was for you too, New Algier. Also.
AngryBlakGuy: Killer comments area on that one.
AngryBlakGuy: 5 1/2 YEARS - and don’t you forget it.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Of course, that’ll spontaneously throw two million sanitation workers out of a job…
Look, Larry Craig is perfectly entitled to attend the Inauguration if he wants to.
Like I give a crap.
AngryBlakGuy: Well, I couldn’t sneak any of the Commemorative Hennesy in my coffee this morning since I’m at work. How dare my job not let me drink in the office! The nerve! Also.