Here’s left-wing liberal Keith Olbermann gleefully delivering the breaking news that Dick Cheney has somehow destroyed his entire body moving boxes into his new CIA-gazing home. Cheney’s so massively dead right now that he will have to attend tomorrow’s Inauguration in a wheelchair. There is nothing — NOTHING — funny about this. It is SERIOUS. [YouTube]
NOT SYMBOLISM
January 19, 2009
{ 115 comments }
It was trying to lift that freezer full of Rummy that did it (either that or all the remainders of every book Lynne’s ever written). Srsly? In a wheelchair? Why not just say home and watch it on teevee…
Meanwhile, we find out that the mayor of Portland is sort of a perv. But in a free-trade shade-grown pervy kind of way. Also vegan.
http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_011909_news_adams_breedlove_relationship.e142c06.html
Mein Fuhrer! I can’t walk!
(Please forgive if I posted a few letters of random asshattery above. Was trying to post something clever & lost control. Also, there is the drinking)
PS: You suck, Dick.
Dr Evil or Darth Vader, my ass. More like Ernst Stavro Blofeld from the James Bond flick, For Your Eyes Only.
However, I do suggest that if they fly Dick in via chopper that they transport him like they did in the movie:
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j223/s96024/May30261.jpg
What you folks don’t realize is that Dick’s ride is no ordinary wheelchair…it got a fuckin’ laser turret on it.
hahah cheap basta*d hurts himself trying to save some money on moving expenses.
The cold outside tomorrow will finish him off.
Surprising. I thought Rove had figured out how to prop him up, Weekend at Bernies style, for the last several years now. I always thought he was in the same clinic with Kim Jong Il in Havana.
Did he shoot anybody?
Is this thing working?
Wheelchair? I want that fucker rolled out on a stretcher in a straight jacket and buttless chaps. Goodbye, dickwad. I think he should have to run the gauntlet to Helicopter 2 between boy scouts, power bottom twinks and senate pages with big hockers ready to spit as he ceremoniously passes. Hail to the chief, asshole! Oh…did I get a little testy?
What a crap cover-up. Liz Glover has shaken off the mind control, sweetly smiled her way past the Secret Service (after all she’s the MEDIA, even Moonie types are especially waved through) and put her size nine steel toe pump up his arse to pay him back for the mind meld evil trickery. Does Liz have a solid alibi? Oh, yeahhhhhhhhhh, she was with some Korean brides…..what, no photo evidence from a video journo, eh?
Are you moving a man-size safe? There are some things you should leave up to the professionals. You can find your local man-size-safe moving company in the Yellow Pages.
Hopey withdrew all funding for the Dick Exo-Skeleton. That technology will now go to helping amputees at Walter Reed. Fuck you, Dick. The pace maker’s next.
Why, why why?! Do bad things happen to good people!?
I wonder if the injuries were incurred moving the barrel of oil he kept in the basement, or the barrel with the body in it?
[re=222417]Scandalabra[/re]: How about on a two-wheeler Dr. Lecter style? With the mask and the straps and the whatnot…
Havanna’s not what it used to be
Brad!
Janet!
Rocky!
Dr Scott!
Just fire up another Robo-Cheney. Aren’t we on about #5 by now?
Chicken hawks are known for being spineless weak tickers. As long as we can elongate him enough for the hanging block, the noose will soon put him out of his misery.
[re=222423]smellyal8r[/re]: Nothing on earth would bring me more joy than for this to happen. Right before he is shipped off the the Hague.
[re=222426]cal[/re]: Hey, you broke the rules. Jim said this wasn’t supposed to be funny. SEE-WEE-ously.
Footage here
For “boxes” read “coffins”. He was decorating his bedroom.
P.S. Cheney, you vile bastard, who never shouldered the BOXES that carried home the remains of the honest boys and girls you sent to war for you, the words of Elvis Costello:
And when they finally
Put you in the ground
I’ll stand on your grave and
Tramp. The. Dirt. Down.
This thing has a spine?
http://i25.tinypic.com/dcdn3s.jpg
[re=222408]G. Friday[/re]: I expect him to stand at the crucial moment:
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/3566/clock/dr.jpeg
I hope his wheelchair gets the mirrors-on-poles treatment, in search of hard drives.
[re=222438]wheelie[/re]: Dylan said pretty much the same:
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand o’er your grave
‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead
Another failed exit strategy.
You know what? This has been fun but before I go
I just wanted to mention something a little off topic
and I hope that’s ok. I looked for the rules and couldn’t find
them but I’m sure you have plenty.
Anyway. I just figured out who Michelle Obama has been reminding
me of.
Doris Day. I just watched her on You Tube on her second
What’s My Line appearance. Their smiles are exactly the same.
I think it’s just a ruse so Dick won’t have to stand when the band plays Hail to the [new] Chief or stand up & applaud after Barry’s oath-swearing or inauguration speech. I suspect W would have done the same thing if he’d thought of it first; I mean they can’t both be in a wheelchair!
[re=222446]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I have no idea why I thought this was funny.
[re=222444]SayItWithWookies[/re]: WIN
Karma’s A Box.
Here, also.
[re=222446]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I have every idea why I know this is funny. and true. that conniving smarmy bastard!
Yeah, boxes, right. YOU CANNOT THROW YOUR BACK OUT GUTTING NEWBORNZ!!!11
I knew, seeing it on KO, it was destined for the Wonkettes. You did not let ‘camaro down, Newell.
Maybe, as Obama takes the oath, one gloved hand will come up towards his throat and he’ll have to use the other hand to stop it from strangling him…
When Stalin had his final stroke, everyone in the room looked at him lying unconscious on the couch, and looked at each other, and nobody did anything. Oh sure they moved plenty when he stirred briefly, but in the end, nobody called the doctor until they were sure he was dead.
[re=222438]wheelie[/re]: WIN+1
I call BS.
Darth Smirky is just trying one more powerplay. Same as the falling asleep act in Dub’s last press conference.
Looks like draft deferment #6 is in the bag.
Broke Dick Movin?
Hmmm wonder what was in the box. Stacey Peterson’s remains, perhaps? Yeah, Drew probably had em shipped to his old buddy Dick. He knows how to get rid of evidence.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Tomorrow ole Dick will roll out and Bro.Rick will step forward and lay hands upon him and call upon the power of Jebus to heal his Dick, and Dick will rise up and then fall on his ass. Jebus won’t heal him for havin teh gay daughter. And there will be a world-wide Amen. also.
Now that Jill is sucking on her toes, let’s reflect on Lynne a bit.
That bitch fundie church-slut tried to show her heroism after 9/11 by getting all American educators to stop teaching frivolous courses on any kind of global or intercultural studies, and teach only “real” American history and values. Yes, that’s her legacy. Save some rope and shoes for her too.
Well, just being honest here, I think Dick just has a no standing for blacks policy. I mean, why would he want to stand up for one of the staff?
I swear that Cheney is morphing back into a Dalek before the Time Lord Obama strikes him down (and if you Yanks don’t get to see episodes of Dr Who, then your uncultured souls will just have to accept the perfection of the analogy. If you have seen it but think the analogy is crap, then you are even more uncultured)
Oh sweet, delicious karma.
moving boxes? more like moving bodies.
Either he is hoping for sympathy, thinking that pissed off Americans (or Iraqis) wouldn’t dare shoot a cripple…
Or he is going for a sympathy fuck.. a one last fuck you to America..
No big deal, as long as Lee Federal Prison is handicapped-accessible.
“Strangelove”, no one has thought “Strangelove”? I am way old.
This is satire Ha Ha….Anyway…
The TRUE story of the Box (or Holy Grail) incident on the last night the evil doers have their Skull & Bones Society Double Secret Last Ceremony:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmuSck6uoZI&feature=related
[re=222465]Darehead[/re]: do you remember where you saw that?
Who’s Dick Cheney, and why does he want sympathy points?
Wheelchair for Cheney? Does this mean at the moment the oath of office is about to be given he will rise and start screaming “My Führer! I can WALK!” or what?
[re=222440]ph7[/re]: Damn. I owe you a toe-tapping session I guess. Sorry to poach.
[re=222477]Norbert[/re]: An infamous document called, “Defending Civilization: How Our Universities Are Failing America,” published right after 9/11 and this site will help you navigate,
http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=American_Council_of_Trustees_and_Alumni
Hey, please keep it down, I’m counting minutes here. Now where was I? Oh yeah, 921…
[re=222475]otisfatboy[/re]: “mein fuhrer” comment above much?
Also, I bet his ‘wheelchair’ has eight mechanical spider legs and rocket launchers.
He’s going full Lebowski?
Shut the fuck up.
He is morphing into old man Potter.
I thought the big news–Can’t remember if it was Olberman or Jonathan Adler who mentioned this–was that Andrew Sullivan now greets people ‘Happy America’–has Wonkette covered this yet?
Packing fudge again, Dick?
He will be transported to the inaugural festivities in a sedan chair carried by 8 Emperor penguins.
You’d think he’d be quite limber (from dodging military service so much in his youth).
Tomorrow Bush will be out of office. Don’t need no junk. Just love.
20 bucks says he wears the parka and snow cap like he did at that Holocaust ceremony a few years ago.
[re=222469]Welshman[/re]:
If Obama’s the Doctor, does he get a delicious sidekick like Billie Piper or classic Leela? Maybe Obama Girl gets promoted to full companion?
[re=222492]p-Sludge[/re]:
Obama=Batman Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The Cheneys’ taxable income last year was $2,528,068. Why was Dick lifting boxes? Why didn’t he have one of his slaves do it?
Sunlight must not strike the Vice President.
[re=222444]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Nuthin’ but nuthin’ but WIN.
I heard he hurt his back trying to un-jam a paper shredder. Those lousy defence contractors got him a 50 lb MIL spec shredder that can only handle 3 pages at a time (staples removed) without jamming. The shredder does do cross cut and then for security crosses those cuts.
Dick, just keep hitting the back and then foward buttons over and over until it clears, pulling on the paper just makes it worse.
– Luv ya, Pauli
HA HA HA, If I had been moving I would have had graduate students to help me. But Dick–I guess you can’t really ask those dudes at Gitmo to help shift your massive collection of BDSM literature!
Fuck you dick cheney, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, and so on a so forth. You are a poor example of anything, except for a heart attack.
[re=222482]Darehead[/re]: thanks for the link. I’ll be sorry to see such a fine First Vice Lady go. Unless they have no actual plans to go. Tonight could be the night Lynne and Dick sit in a pentagram and launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike against, oh, let’s say Venezuela and Beijing. Sleep tight, wonketteers!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck bwa! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Has the asscrack also moved out of the White House? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
He probably just wants to use the good parking spaces when he’s finally a private citizen again.
I think the problem really was that he was outside during daylight hours. He got confused, what with the Negro and everything.
[re=222511]Dildo Baggins[/re]: There ya go. That must be it. I was thinking maybe it was some stuff from his walk- in safe. But of course. That’s what he keeps there. His BDSM porn collection from Abu Ghraib and elsewhere. There may also be some sensitive Halliburton material in there. Gotta move that himself.
This represents my final post–I am going into rehab first thing tomorrow. The Bush years were a massive waste of this nation’s energies and talents. Even those of us who tried to remain as far from the disaster as possible are much worse for the eight years lost. So, while I am eagerly awaiting midnight (I think power transfers to Obama even before the oath of office), I am also thinking what a fucking piece of loose stool was GW Bush. I am SO in favor of war crimes trials that it clouds my thinking of everything else. If that gob of bloody diaorhea is allowed to retire peacefully to Dallas (‘We assassinate libruls’) TX, then we are all the worse for it. Srsly.
Dick Cheney throws out his back. America throws out Dick Cheney.
Dick:1000
America:1
Yeah. At some point you have to just dispense with the pretense that you don’t want the major figures behind the Bush administration to meet with serious bodily harm. I hope this leads to Cheney’s eventual complete paralysis and death! Shit, that’s liberating!
Oh be nice – did you ever try to carry yourself out in a box…? It’s not easy…
I say we dunk the summina bastages in Haliburton oil and set them ablaze.
But seriously – what must have been in these boxes that he couldn’t trust his own staff or even the secret service with…. bodies? New treasury bills? The original, recently edited Constitution?…
“No Drama Obama” meet “Dick the Decrepit Impotent Wheelchair-Bound Pity Party Queen”
[re=222487]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Yes, the resemblance is uncanny:
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2007/12/21/business/21Norris_190.jpg
Say goodnight Dick.
The Dr. Strangelove connection is just too creepy.
End of an “error” huh? I see what you’re doing there…
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ow, fuck.
I just threw out my back. Can I haz Dr. Strangelove wheelchair now please. Jawohl, mien fuerher…I mean, Mr. President.
[re=222553]SpikeyDog[/re]: You are correct sir.
God damn cheap-ass voodoo doll!
It was supposed to be inoperable testicular cancer.
I’m pretty amused that a man worth a bazillion-gillion dollars lifts his own goddamn boxes. Doesn’t he have mercenaries or slaves to do that sort of thing?
[re=222453]comradepaulson[/re]: A muslin voodoo death oath. Neat!
Everyone is missing the obvious- gasp….how else is Dark Cheney going to sneak in those long lost wmds from iraq? just saying- either way gets him out of having to stand and salute B.Hussein
Touche Karma, touche!
Mr. Cheney:
An injury caused by falling over the coffins of embalmed small mammals and wayward servants is beyond the scope of the federal employees disability fund. Claim rejected. Ha-ha.
I just realized that another one of my songs is totally past its shelf life with the passing of the Bush
stoolera. It’s this ditty about that Cheney shotgun incident being a botched murder-suicide.Now maybe he’ll try again!It’s called Dick Pussies Out. Ah well, it was topical a few years ago.The worst excuse since the pretzel that didn’t keep its charge, i.e. when George got pissy because Uncle Dick was making him invade dark countries and Uncle Dick had to introduce him to Mr. Jack Johnson.
Lies. This is all legacy shit since it’s harder to hate a man in a wheelchair.
I’m completely up to the challenge though.
Keith Olbermann is a complete asshole… He’s an arrogant, blowhard, pyschopath who has really lost touch with reality…. Its because of him (and many others) that ‘MSNBC’ has become such a joke & propaganda machine.
He was doing manual labor? He didn’t have someone else doing it?
[re=222611]zhubajie[/re]: I find it absolutely unbelievable that Dick Cheney was doing manual labor, too. You’d think he could’ve gotten Lynne (or Mary … or Heather Poe, with her buff linebacker build) to do it for him!
This story has a strong whiff — nay, stench! — of bullshit.
My theory: he injured himself playing with his S&M gear with some hooker. Poor hideous bloated sack of crap was probably trying to make himself feel better with some restraints and beatings, given and received.
And, of course, there’s *this* understandable reaction:
Dick Cheney injured himself?
SO???
It’s probably nothing worse than a bit of indigestion from eating partially cooked muslims
He just couldn’t bring himself to stand for That One.
And somewhere in heaven, God chuckles and says, “Oops. My bad.”
[re=222607]kinky-neo-con[/re]: Must be true, kink. I heard it on Fox.
Faker. Does anyone remember when Scooter Libby showed up yo court in crutches.
I’ve seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. This guy fucking walks.
I have been moving boxes for decades and have never heard of this kind of thing.
Dickie must not understand you need to use the legs not the back.
Matt
http://www.movingdayboxes.com
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