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STORIES OF PUNDITS

Christopher Hitchens Makes Out With Andrew Sullivan, Dances To Rap Music

You know who’s having a doggone humdinger of an Inauguration weekend is that Christopher Hitchens, the ex-Trotskyist drink-soaked popinjay war columnist for Slate, Vanity Fair… wherever else! The Internet is awash with stories of his shenanigans this weekend, including a sexy kiss with fellow British anger bear Andrew Sullivan at the Slate party and some hip-hop dancing at the party for Slate’s black people website, The Root! THE GUY’S A MANIAC.

Slate held its Inauguration party at Hitchens’ own apartment, much like Vanity Fair does during White House Correspondents’ weekend! It must be a nice place. Especially for a secret male pundit orgy HMM?

Inside, Hitchens opined on whether the Obama administration should answers calls from the left to prosecute Bush administration officials for illegal interrogation of prisoners: “As long as it’s agreed that these steps were taken in response to public demand,” he began, only to be interrupted by Andrew Sullivan, who greeted him with a hug and a kiss. “I want tongue. Give me tongue,” Hitchens implored, to no avail. “No, I’m not giving you tongue,” Sullivan replied, feigning astonishment. “Let the record show: Sullivan wouldn’t give tongue,” Hitchens replied. (“He’s gayer than I am!” Sullivan later told us.)

?

Then, yesterday, from The Root’s party, came this disturbing report via Atlantic blogger Ta-Nehisi Coates:

Last night at The Root ball, me and Kenyatta are cutting the rug, during the old school set. Biz Markie is on the wheels. And somewhere between the “All Night Long” and “Got To Give It Up” I peep Christopher Hitchens, mid-groove, with some dime-piece on his hip.

Christopher Hitchens was later spotted sleeping in the middle of Constitution Avenue, getting run over by cars.

Christopher Hitchens Blames Torture on Common Americans, Demands ‘Tongue’ From Andrew Sullivan [Daily Intel]
From the annals of post-racialism [Ta-Nehisi Coates]


3:24 PM on Mon January 19 2009
By Jim Newell
5991 Views

  1. undermedicated says at 3:31 pm, January 19th, 2009

    The dime-piece in this case being trannsexual, natch.

  2. SayItWithWookies says at 3:33 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Okay, what the hell’s a dime-piece? A ten-dollar pistol? A small bag of weed? Ten condoms? Okay, I’m going to stop thinking about that now.

  3. Lascauxcaveman says at 3:33 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Party like pro, Chris.

    Rock On.

  4. Heywood Floyd says at 3:33 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Gross.

  5. Gorillionaire says at 3:34 pm, January 19th, 2009

    “I peep Christopher Hitchens, mid-groove, with some dime-piece on his hip.”

    Am I to infer from this that Hitchens broke a 10 cent coin into small pieces with his bare hands and placed one of the small dime pieces on his hip? Wow.

  6. gjdodger says at 3:36 pm, January 19th, 2009

    It’s a watch. Like a Dimex. You know, “Takes a licking, and keeps on ticking!”

  7. SayItWithWookies says at 3:40 pm, January 19th, 2009

    gjdodger: Except in Hitchens’ case, it takes a sticking and keeps on licking.

  8. whiskey tango foxtrot says at 3:41 pm, January 19th, 2009

    *yawn*. I want to see Hitchens dryhumping Cheney’s leg.

  9. It is possible, even theoretically, to be gayer than Andrew Sullivan?

  10. In honor of our new episodic overlords, “It takes a fracking and keeps on smacking”. Secret terrorist code: Al-So!

  11. imissopus says at 3:49 pm, January 19th, 2009

    For Hanukkah my parents gave me an autographed copy of “God Is Not Great” which I will now not be able to read because I will be too disturbed by all this imagery to focus.

  12. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 3:52 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Hitch writes for Slate? I didn’t know he was a Jew!

  13. teebob2000 says at 3:53 pm, January 19th, 2009

    I bet when Andrew is slamming it into him from behind, he screams, “Oh, god!!! Oh, god!!!” with a lower-case g.

  14. teebob2000 says at 3:55 pm, January 19th, 2009

    What — no alt text on the picture??!!

    Yeah, I guess what else could you say?

  15. rev_matt_y says at 3:56 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Hitchens is one of those people whom I agree with in theory on a number of things, but he’s still an insufferable ass and I can’t be bothered to read/listen to him anymore.

  16. teebob2000: Vegemite. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

  17. PopeyesPipe says at 3:59 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Truly, an Orwell for our times!

  18. Dime piece= a hottie.

  19. ““As long as it’s agreed that these steps were taken in response to public demand,” he began, only to be interrupted by Andrew Sullivan, who greeted him with a hug and a kiss. “I want tongue. Give me tongue,” Hitchens implored, to no avail. “No, I’m not giving you tongue,” Sullivan replied, feigning astonishment. “Let the record show: Sullivan wouldn’t give tongue,” Hitchens replied”

    Even bohemian grove is feigning metrosexuality these days.

  20. Dime-piece = “Piece of ass that is also a ten”.

  21. tiny mexican says at 4:10 pm, January 19th, 2009

    So that’s what he meant when he asked Sullivan to stop being such a lesbian.

  22. Chad San Marino says at 4:15 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Ta-Nehisi Coates. He’s blacker than you.

  23. I just saw the hitch an hour ago or so in Dupont Circle on Connecticut…I should have asked him for tongue or a beej…

  24. hobospacejungle says at 4:52 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Does Ta-Nehisi Coates also write in English?

  25. ladymacbeth says at 6:31 pm, January 19th, 2009

    these are liberal satan muslin values. he’s not even in office and america is no longer america.

    i weep for my country.

  26. Which side of the dime was he going to use? Heads or Tails? Male or Female? Also.

    If ol’ Hitchy can dance, he is just drinking himself into his closet.

    Time to dry up in the sunlight of day Chrissy…from one gay atheist to another.

    Sully is just a rude bottom whom cannot see the hatred his political party has towards him.

    (Gorillionaire at 3:34 pm: Laffed out Loud there, thanx.)

  27. Purple Tide says at 7:28 pm, January 19th, 2009

    The Hitch is back! Mayhap the “hole” reason he supported the Iraq war was he thought it made a good prolonged metaphor for Anal Sex. The UN reach around, playing “hide the WMD,” yellow-cake eaters, groping for oil, Saddamizing. You Brits need to wipe the cum off your stiff upper-lips and get loose like our congressmen, Foley in touch with their sexuality.

  28. choinski says at 8:20 pm, January 19th, 2009

    If by ‘tounge’ you mean ‘penis’

  29. Mr Blifil says at 11:00 pm, January 19th, 2009

    Dime piece: 10-year old boy from Thailand

  30. MilwaukeeKent says at 12:29 am, January 20th, 2009

    Ah Hitchens, fine writer who suffers from Hemingway-Mailer Syndrome — and Coates is channeling Raymond Chandler on the dance floor…

  31. If he wants Sullivan to give him tongue he should just answer one of Sully’s personal ads demanding bareback ass sex. But Hitch is probably too drunk to read those ads. Alcoholic popinjay.

  32. “A gaggle of prominent scribes [in an elevator] including Tina Brown …”
    That’s like saying a petri dish of various species of green, festering bacteria, jockeying to become the medias’ latest version of the bubonic plague. No cure, no escape.

  33. Hitch and Sully, two rouged and powdered ancient haridans, snappimg thin bra-straps, hiking their cheap corsettes and eye-gouging over a non-existent john.

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