• May 26, 2012
BUFFOONS

January 16, 2009

Republicans Are Terrified Of Tim Kaine

by Sara K. Smith  

RUN IN FEARThis is how far the Republican party has fallen: just a short time ago its leaders were a swaggering Texan who vowed to bomb the living shit out of any nation that dared to look at us sideways, and a vampirical warlock who practiced his dark arts from the basement of the Naval Observatory. Now the party has no leaders and they are scared witless by the innocuous and mild-mannered new DNC chairman.

Tim Kaine, really! This guy is about as frightening as a junior high school guidance counselor, or a reference librarian. And yet Republicans quake in their boots:

Since Kaine will be a constant and close adversary, a sparring partner on the Sunday political talk shows and a competitor for the attention of the public and the press, the notion that the next RNC chair must be an effective communicator is gaining traction among some party members.

Given Kaine’s profile as a sitting governor and a one-time contender for the vice presidency, Republicans say their new chairman will have to show some serious presence on the air – fast.

OOOOH YES, Tim Kaine is a scary, scary man! He has a working-class haircut and everything!

The real problem for the Republican party, as they search for their next chairman, is that they have no choices except a buffoon who comments on Fox, a buffoon who used to run Ohio, a buffoon who has already been running the party badly for a year, and a couple of nobodies who are also, presumably, buffoons.

Kaine pick sends ripples across RNC [Politico]

{ 61 comments }

you cannot be serious January 16, 2009 at 4:02 pm

The RNC has a treasure trove of effective communicators. They seem to get their point across quite easily in men’s restrooms and with underage congressional pages.

Big Liver January 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm

This is all so rich, I am almost choking on my mirth.

DustBowlBlues January 16, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Because of Tim Kaine they have to find an effective communicator? WTF? Isn’t that basic in this kind of job. Were they considering the appointment of deaf mute?

Toomush Infermashun January 16, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Sarah Palin for next RNC Chairman – it’s a whistl…um, whisper campaign….

undermedicated January 16, 2009 at 4:06 pm

The US Air pilot who just saved all those nice people from dying — by any chance a Republican? If he’s also a racist, Muslin-hating homosexualist, he could be a good draft.

chascates January 16, 2009 at 4:06 pm

The GOP also despises Franken, occasional diaper-wearing comedian:
http://www.theweek.com/article/index/91959/3/Why_the_right_hates_Al_Franken

If Barbara Jordan was still around they’d all have to hide in Alaska.

Lascauxcaveman January 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Maybe I should apply for the job. I’m kinda smart, presentable, from a staunch Republican background (heck, my mama swaddled me in Pat Nixon’s cloth coat, so to speak, on the way home from the hospital). I’m a fiscal conservative, so that’s good. A family man, two kids in private school, my wife is nice looking, and our obvious physical attraction for each other plus my manly hobbies of woodworking and mechanicking gives me heterosexual bonafides…

Shoot. I just disqualified myself, didn’t I?

Suds McKenzie January 16, 2009 at 4:08 pm

This is terribly interesting,…but cant we get back to talking about that God Dam Plane? and our national hero Chelsie Jesus Scully McSully whatever the 4th?

freakishlystrong January 16, 2009 at 4:08 pm

I say they select one of the mensa members that currently speak for the RNC; Coulter, Rush, Hannity or O’Lilley…

BillyClubb January 16, 2009 at 4:08 pm

…the notion that the next RNC chair must be an effective communicator is gaining traction among some party members.

The days of “communicating” via a shotgun blast to the face are over.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 16, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Hey now, reference librarians live for danger! We deal with hobos on a daily basis, do story hours for hordes of squalling preschoolers, and we teach nimrods like Karl Rove how to use Twitter. And that’s just before lunch!

magic titty January 16, 2009 at 4:12 pm

Wait – they’re just realizing they need an effective communicator?
Or is that just Politico’s shitty, mind-numbingly obvious reporting?

Or both?
Hmm!?!

BillyClubb January 16, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=221143]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You sir, are no Republican.

Monsieur Grumpe January 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm

To be fair, his teeth scare me.

Outstando January 16, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Turns out there are witnesses to their crimes.

wallythepug January 16, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Amazing Gov. Kaine found a barber who could do the “jimmy hoffa.”

Numbat Dundee January 16, 2009 at 4:23 pm

What have you lot got against buffoons? Are you racist or something?

Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool January 16, 2009 at 4:25 pm

Anyone named Joe will do. Scab-burrow, JtP, Lieberfish….

Texan Bulldoggette January 16, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=221139]undermedicated[/re]: He lives in the Bay area–probably not a Republican, but you never know. He does have a lot of damn names & numbers behind it (Sullenberger III or some such.)

Servo January 16, 2009 at 4:26 pm

They spent too many years highlighting their understanding of rural voters and JUST NOW realized that grunts and blank stares are not forms of communication in the real world.

johnnypantalones January 16, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Why do I picture the next RNC meeting as a bunch of dirty hillbillies vainly trying to communicate via a tin can with a string on the end? Christ, these fuckers can’t figure out how to use the internets worth a damn and now they can’t manage to figure out they need a chairman who’s an effective communicator? Are they actually devolving before our very eyes?

Texan Bulldoggette January 16, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Every time I see him, I think of Dilbert’s pointy-haired boss. Hard to take this guy seriously, much less fear him. Pussy Republicans.

Min January 16, 2009 at 4:32 pm

They’re scared of his sekrit superpower. He is able to deflect the ricochet of the bullets Republicans use to shoot themselves in the foot.

Traveler January 16, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=221149]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:

Ya beat me to it!

Librarians are the secret masters of the universe.

tiny mexican January 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Awwwww come on SKS, why the hate? Tim Kaine is kind of likable in that nice middle aged way, with the eyebrow and the bad teeth and the smile-with-your-eyes wrinkles. Is it just me? I guess. Ugh.

Anyway, I heard Howard Dean is looking for a new job. Maybe the Republicans can lock him up and make him listen to tapes of Rahm and Barry laughing about that LOSER Howard, until he snaps and switches over to the dark side.

lenorecutie January 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm

I almost (almost) feel sorry for the Republicans. They obviously had no plan for the future AT ALL. I mean when your core values are about keeping people poor, ignorant, and hateful, you’re eventually not going to have a decent person to run the party.

rev_matt_y January 16, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Thing is: there are plenty of credible conservatives who communicate well and can carry on an intelligent and well-reasoned debate. The problem is they won’t be allowed to chair the RNC because the Palin fanatics will have nothing to do with that fancy elitist ‘intelligence’ crap.

j6n January 16, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Communicating is elitist.

heroinmule January 16, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Great, this means I’m going to have to listen to Peggy Nooners tell that goddamn joke about his haircut again.

Mr Blifil January 16, 2009 at 4:49 pm

IOW, they want someone who can speak contemporaneously without referring to a large picture of a dead fetus, and who won’t say “homersekshuls” every ninth word.

heroinmule January 16, 2009 at 4:51 pm

And where was my Wonkette Peggy Nooners post. Was her shit not batty enough for you today?

chascates January 16, 2009 at 4:55 pm

[re=221216]heroinmule[/re]: She may have swooned over meeting Obama and is still on her fainting couch.

Bruno January 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm

What about that Blackman dude? I thought they would use the Snowbilly “strategy”:

Da Dems wants a womin, lets find em a womin; Da Dems wants a negroz, lets find dem a negroz. they iz all da same, we can fool them libs good, real good

j6n January 16, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Why don’t they pick Tom Kaine? They would increase positive press coverage 30% purely via the typo.

Bruno January 16, 2009 at 5:01 pm

WTF is a ripple across the GOP anyway? Is that some kind of euphemism for buttsecks with male children? Sickos.

V572625694 January 16, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=221147]freakishlystrong[/re]: Anybody else share the creepy feeling aroused by Coulter’s voice, which is that of the rich spoiled sorority girl who’s just found out she’ll have to wait 20 minutes to get her prescription filled?

rev_matt_y January 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm

[re=221224]j6n[/re]: That is actually a brilliant idea. They’ll never go for it.

Bruno January 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm

How about a Puma? Anyone want a Puma? They have great leadership and organizational and legal abilities?

S.Luggo January 16, 2009 at 5:19 pm

“Dawson suggested … Gov. Sarah Palin as [an] example of the [spokesperso] the party could use to counteract the ascendant Democratic message machine.”

The machine responds, “Oh noes! Pulleeez not her. Me be good now.”

Tra January 16, 2009 at 5:25 pm

“The notion that the next RNC chair must be an effective communicator is gaining traction among some party members.”

Slowly, horrifyingly, it dawns on the GOP masses that a basic competence for doing the job for which you are hired may indeed need to be part of the job criteria … Total panic ensues; rioting, shredding of expensive clothing, minor fires and mass release of typing monkeys follows.

Vercingatorix January 16, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Hey, my Jr. High guidance counselor was very fuckin scary!

AnnieGetYourFun January 16, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Not just buffoons, but likely child-fuckers as well.

Pop Socket January 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Which of those buffoons is Michael Steele? Because a black guy named after a Shaquille O’Neil superhero would blow everybody’s mind.

DoctorCulturae January 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=221146]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Yes, as ‘mericuns we must indulge and maintain our inner911. Da plane! Da plane!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFK1rvL2NoQ

IceCreamEmpress January 16, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Why don’t they pick Tom Kaine? They would increase positive press coverage 30% purely via the typo.

Do you mean former governor of New Jersey Tom Kean? Because that would be awesome just for the confusion factor, but I think that Kean has washed his hands of the snowbilly Know-Nothing party and become an independent like all the other old-school rich Republicans.

IceCreamEmpress January 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm

That said, it’s a genius idea. Also, they should run Plaxico Burress against Roland Burris. I think this is an electoral strategy that may work wonders for the Repubs.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 16, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Ah yes, my soon to be former governor. Yall don’t understand; Tim Kaine is a big cuddle teddy bear. Hell, when I get lonely at nights I kinda wish I had a Tim Kaine of my very own to curl up with.

It’s his fucking eyebrow that’s scary. That thing looks like it’s gonna jump off his forehead and shiv you with a ground down toothbrush.

revhatchell January 16, 2009 at 6:54 pm

the republican party may split into elitist bigoted idiots on one side and idiot bigoted idiots on the other side.

who will get custody of sahara palin?

j6n January 16, 2009 at 8:49 pm

[re=221283]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: The republicans are screwed. Libs dominate the eyebrow wars: Barney Frank, Andy Rooney, Sam Donaldson, etc. Maybe they can recruit Marty Scorsese.

Monsieur Grumpe January 16, 2009 at 10:12 pm

[re=221228]V572625694[/re]:
Yes. It’s like you’re reading my mind. Sorry.

mylesfromnowhere January 17, 2009 at 12:22 am

please don’t malign buffoons like that. http://www.cubuffoons.net
at least call the repugs FUCKINGBUFFOONS or something to separate the two.

peorgietirebiter January 17, 2009 at 1:04 am

“I’ll press your flesh you dimwitted sumbitch! You don’t tell your Pappy how to court the electorate, we ain’t one-at-a-timin’ here, we’re mass communicatin’!”
Incoming RNC Chairman Menelaus “Pappy” O’Daniel eschewing an opportunity to meet and greet The Soggy Bottom Boys outside station WEZY in Tishomingo, Mississippi

a Pappy aide was over-heard to say, “oh my yes, it’s a powerful new force…

Cape Clod January 17, 2009 at 7:36 am

How much in the way of communication skills does one need to simply say, over and over, that the Democrats are un-American? I mean, that’s pretty much the only argument they have left, right?

proudcitizen January 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

“…the notion that the next RNC chair must be an effective communicator is gaining traction among some party members.” Obviously, the repugs have only one choice – Caribou Barbie. You betcha! Also!

WIDTAP January 17, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Is there any way we can get the RNC chair selecting into an online vote? Oh the fun we could have!

DustBowlBlues January 17, 2009 at 9:40 pm

[re=221578]WIDTAP[/re]: Someone is here besides me. I think that’s a great idea. The wonkeratti would dominate, of course. Wonder who would be our choice. Wonder if the noms would be by online vote. Think of the right wingnuts we could suggest.

villageatrois January 17, 2009 at 11:50 pm

[re=221578]WIDTAP[/re]: It could be called “Weblogs 2012″. Domain names are not that expensive….

villageatrois January 17, 2009 at 11:51 pm

[re=221578]WIDTAP[/re]: It could be called “Weblog Awards 2012″. Domain names are not that expensive….

Joey Ratz January 18, 2009 at 12:17 pm

[re=221596]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Why, it would be Michelle Malkin! She’s perfect – female, minority, well known to the “readers” of Human Events and World Net Daily (AKA the Repug base), the list goes on and on… Perfect!

Hector January 18, 2009 at 8:21 pm

From this side of the pond (that’s the big one off the west coast) the train wreck is really worth watching.

medici January 20, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Ice Cream Empress: Excellent idea!! Burress against Burris. Genius!!!!

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