Wonkette
WALNUTS ruins everything again! His despised wife, Cindy, wanted to be on the popular teevee sitcom Dancing With The Stars, according to the very reliable Page Six. Gross! The anonymous source says that “she wanted it very badly,” but then this week John McCain “put the kibosh on it.” Ha ha he thinks his wife is such a whore, all the time. Since he is going to die soon, you’d think he’d let his young rich wife have a little fun on her own, no? [NY Post]
So he’s willing to pimp her out to bikers but won’t let her appear on the gayest show on teevee?
Yeah, that’s about right.
She’ll punish him by picking up a new lover either at a truck stop or at an 80’s revival concert.
She’d just paint on the makeup like a trollop, the cunt.
“The Arizona Senator added that when he judged her dancing skills on a scale from 1 to cunt, she registered an 8.”
Pills would be flying everywhere.
You are kidding??? WALNUTS! is a sexist pig who treats his wife as if she is an appendage? And who has zero respect for women in general, and basically thinks they are around to look pretty? Well, shit. There goes my innocence.
It’s just bad timing. Walnuts is pissed someone put a plane in the drink and got to blame a flock of geese. Which as an excuse could have helped out about FIVE and a HALF times.
Where’s the PUMA outrage?
But she will appear on the equally famous Zombie Staring with the Stars.
Who is that in the picture? Eva Peron? Marie Antoinette? A “before” shot of Lizzie Borden?
Doglessliberal: What? Wait, does Daragh Murphy know this?
He just wants to keep it between them; Dancing with the Scars….
WALNUTS! was merely saving her life. If an over-eager handshake from a patriotic wingnut at a campaign Meet N’ Greet could fracture Cindy’s fucking hand, then I can only imagine how broken a vigorous foxtrot would leave her body. One wrong move in a swing-dance flip and she’d be in a full body cast before the first episode aired. She’s calcifying before our eyes, people! WALNUTS! deserves another medal for this!
Stop staring at my wife’s tits, MY FRIENDS!
Vewol Mevemont: Hosted by Padma Lakshmi, yes?
I feel like we should band together to free Cindy, so she can pursue her dream of appearing on Dancing With The Stars.
Is there a place I can vote online to get this done?
NoWireHangers: I think it has to do with her hollow bones.
I still like my idea of Cindy and Sarah Palin in a Celebrity Deathmatch. “Git it on!”
queeraselvis v 2.0: I think it’s an after shot of Lizzie Borden. Long, long, long, after — about 30 years after her death and reanimation.
Isn’t Dancing the the Stars that show where the lady-celebs are always dramatically falling down and breaking ankles? You know what that means: PAINKILLERS!!!1!
How about “Dancing with the Lizard People” Walnuts?
Thanks for nothing, Walnuts. First the woman rescues you from the disabled, scarred figure that was your first wife, gives you all her beer money & AZ citizenship so you can have a Senate seat for 80 years & looks the other way while your still-healthy/able penis visited lobbyist vajayjays, & you can’t let her be the queen of real America teevee (although there are a lot of furreigners on that show). She probably also voted for Barry. Also.
magic titty: Padma Lakshmi is hot and appears to still be among the living. I was thinking the Crypt Keeper or some another zombie like John Kerry.
fyi, she’s not a whore..she’s a cunt
I don’t get it…doesn’t C(ash)indy M(achine)cCain have all the dough? Why doesn’t
she just dump WALNUTS for crap sake? Isn’t family inheritance a non-marital asset?
I don’t even blame her for stealing ridiculous amounts of hillbilly heroin to ease
the pain of having to live with that old goat. I feel like taking some right now
in empathy.
On a side note…what the hell is with that neck? She looks like a periscope.
We can always see her at Sturgis Bike Week. Henngh?!?
And, you know, the thing about a Cindy… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.
Who does this broad think she is anyway trying to upstage and outshine John “I-am-incredibly-vain” WALNUTS! with her own dreams and desires. Her job is to be blonde and write checks. Finito. That’s the family values, Real American way.
The only ‘dancing’ familiar to Cindy is on a bar with a bunch of bikers yelling “Show us yer tits!”.
Vewol Mevemont: “some another” — fucking hell.
I want a threesome with Cindy McCain and Ann Coulter. It would be fun watching them do each other after a long session of Druidic discipline.
justlen:
That’s some bad hat, WALNUTS!
She ought to just go out and get a Muslin dance partner….that’d teach him…
Cindy McCain has the neck of a fine, young desert tortoise.
just a quick question: what’s the difference between a PUMA and cougar?
Let the Stepford wife dance, sez I!
It’s all good. This just will free up some eyeballs for Chelsea’s upcoming stint on Rock of Love Tour Bus. And why is that tween in the Sylvan add smirking like that? Does she think she’s better than me?
mush: Don’t cougars date younger men & PUMAs date the Hostess Ding Dong section of their local WalMarts?
Ain’t got shit to say about the White Hag, but want to check my new avatar.
mush:
About 90 pounds.
Vercingatorix:
Coulter and Cindy McCain. That’s like hittin’ the cunt lottery.
Dance Cindy, dance. Dance like the wind from John’s pants.
He was confused because the show is not called “Dancing with the Cunts”
John McCain IS John Lithgow in Footlooser.
satyricrash: God damn it, I mean Footloser.
DustBowlBlues: My sight’s not so good these days; what’s it supposed to be? All I can make out is a b/w eagle or bird on the right in front of a white fence??
John forbids her from doing anything that requires lifting her hands above shoulder level. It’s a power thing.
pdiddycornchips: Yes, that smirk roughtly translates into “My parents can afford expensive tutors and you can’t.”
Texan Bulldoggette: If you are using Firefox, you can go to you top menu and click View -> Page style -> No Style and see that it is an unremarkable olde English engraving of two ladies standing near a stone arch doorway with a caption below far too small to read.
Also you can hit ” Command+ ” keys together half a dozen times and it blows up the whole page rather large. Other browsers have similar size and frame options.
Lascauxcaveman: My god, thank you. I’ve often wondered what some of these avatars even were. Now I can find it–which might not be such a good idea after all, eh?
jodyleek: Cindy should totally dump Walnuts and buy a pool boy. She married the old guy thinking she’d be special in DC–went to her first congressional wives luncheon. They gave her a name tag that said “Carol”, his first wife then sat her at a table where no one joined her or spoke to her. A witness at the event said it looked like high school cafeteria.
So, not achieving her dream of becoming a DC hostess, she should give it up and enjoy her piles of money.
Dear John: Thanks for the guidance, which I understand and accept. This will leave me more time to fuck the living shit out of that Michael Bolton wannabe guy I met at the Moody Blues concert. BTW, Vicki Eiseman’s coming over for a threesome tonight. Hugs, Cind.
Better idea: She should send piles of money to the wonkeratti in appreciation of how colorful we’ve made her deadbeat husband look. Call it a gratuity.
She has Cylon eyes.
Buffalo Chip Gals, you won’t go out tonight,
Go out tonight, go out tonight.
Buffalo Chip Gals, you won’t go out tonight
And dance by the light of the moon.
The anonymous source says that “she wanted it very badly,”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there goes my lunch.
/Josh’s Jeff Danziger cartoon took breakfast
What a cunt-astrophe.
Maybe Meghan can finally get a job and join the cast. Though I think she’d be a better fit on “Temptation Island” or “Biggest Loser”…
Poor little rich girl….
Eat some more pills, pill-head.
Johnny’s Not Thaaat Stupid!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/01/johnny-mac-says-cindys-dancing-future.html
McCain still has bad memories from his appearance on “Soul Train”. He asked Don Cornelius to play “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin.
“Dance, Trollop, dance!… now eat your make-up for the nice creepy old man…”
assistant/atlas: “Eat some more pills, pill-head.”
Bizarro-Maverick!
You people disappoint. I bet the over on “cunt” references and the line was eight. Only six? I’m out money here people, and I don’t like it.
She should save herself for the inevitable spinoff “Dancing with the Oxycontin-Addicted Ex-Hags of Republican Losers Who Like Being Called Cunts.” She is a shoo-in.
DustBowlBlues: On most browsers can’t you just right-click & choose View Image? At least Firefox, I think. On Google Chrome you can right-click & choose Open Image In New Tab. Miracles.
If I were Cindy I would’ve never stopped the pill gig. I know she got caught, but can’t rich people buy pretty much anything?
What a remarkable face! I hope I look that good when I’m 78.
Darehead: the miracle combination of designer surgery & money.
satyricrash:
It’s OK.
Here that gramar NAZIs’!!!!!!!
It’s OHKEEDOHKEE,
oh dear. after all the crap she had to probably put up with during the campaign, and ole Wingnuts won’t let her let down her hair for some fun. Shame on Johnny boy. she should just do the show just to spite him.
a dancing with the stars stint resulting in injury would be the perfect cover to get her hands on some more pills. she’s not as dumb as she looks that one.
Monsieur Grumpe:
Hi. I’m Mr. Grumpy’s wife and we had him committed… again. After he dries out we’ll let him have internet access again if he promises to stay on the drugs (the legal, prescribed kind), not get over stimulated by Wonkette, Gilligan’s Island reruns and old recordings of Firesign Theater. Thanks for your patience. Chow.
Mrs. Grumpy
The irony is that Dancing With the Stars set aside an entire week devoted to Pickle Licking competition. She would have shined indeed…shined the pickle that is.
What is up with that neck? Why do all female fascists look like giraffe hybrids from Dr Moreau’s real america?
mush: All PUMAs are cougars, but not all oougars are PUMAs.
Buffalo Chip, Si!
Dancing With Stars, No!
John McCain? More like John fucking Lithgow if you ask me!
I think Johnny-Boy should chop off her right leg with a hacksaw. Then, Tuscon-Trollop could flop about the dance floor - a la Miss Ex-Paul McCartney - and win the hearts of ALL of America… Well, at least the hearts of Pushmataha County, Oklahoma.
yorktronic: “Stop staring at my wife’s tits, MY FRIENDS!”
No, J(i)SM. We’re not “staring at them”, we’re looking for them. They seem to have migrated in the general direction of the Red States.
J: “More like John fucking Lithgow” Dunno about that. But I’ll compare notes on fucking Cindi at the next Marine Reunion.
prob for the best. i hear ‘hip displacement’ is a pretty painful symptom to end up with at an A&E
Dang, Now Im in the mood for some slutty Blonde MILF porn… off to google…
Ye haw, neo lib scumbags sure know how to make themselves look like the fat ugly kids no one wants to play with. Y’all just hate to see a sexy rich middle age woman who makes you & your ladies look like dog meat so you attack. Oh well what can we expect from hungry neolib pigs & pigettes who follow snake oil salesmen like he is smart, rotflmao haw haw haw.