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TWITS

Lovable Karl Rove Your New Pretend Twitter Friend

'Ok, Cheney did 9/11. Was it that obvious?'
History may not change the perception of George W. Bush Junior as America’s crappiest president, but many thousands of excitable dorks are very excited about the New Reputation of lovable gargoyle Karl Rove, America’s latest favorite Twit.

To become a famous Twit, you must sign up for a free, very unreliable Web service available to anyone, and then you type bits of banal nonsense. If your name is kind of well known, congratulations on being a Twit! Karl’s collecting good-bye messages for Bush Junior, by the way. [Daily Beast]


3:10 PM on Fri January 16 2009
By Ken Layne
6262 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 3:14 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Jeebus, Karl. Thanks for being so fucking obvious…

    Yes Master. Executing Order 66.

    Will kidnap any babies or puppies and take to master. By your command, Imperious Leader.

  2. Toomush Infermashun says at 3:23 pm, January 16th, 2009

    That’s just a plain twitter, in the old school sense….

  3. BadKitty says at 3:25 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I think that’s the first honest thing ol’ Karl has ever said.

  4. Yes, Karl. That tends to happen in winter, during the daytime.

  5. El Pinche says at 3:28 pm, January 16th, 2009

    My trash compactor has room for three people:
    -Bush
    -Cheney
    -Karl
    Every other GOP shithead (rush, hannity, etc) can suck a bag of dirty cocks and go there very way, but those three need to be smashed into a 4 cubic ft block. Jeeves, my meds please!

  6. I see Karl is just as fascinating a conversationalist as everyone has always supposed he was.

  7. Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool says at 3:29 pm, January 16th, 2009

    There must be an old Dick Cheney quote, something impromptu and indecorous, that befits the Twitter.

  8. twingonaut says at 3:33 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I added him and now some random conserv-tards are now following me. I iz leebtard, fuuls!

  9. SayItWithWookies says at 3:35 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I sent Dubya a good-bye message, but knowing Karl’s reputation with email I somehow doubt it’ll reach its recipient.

  10. Dildo Baggins says at 3:35 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I bet someone here has the skillz to hack his Twitter account. Just sayin.

  11. K Street Ninja says at 3:39 pm, January 16th, 2009

    So I assume it’s 95 and raining right now?

  12. DoctorCulturae says at 3:42 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Oh Karl, I’m at the Vicky’s Secret at the mall. Can I pick you up something? Or are chaps more your style?

  13. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 3:43 pm, January 16th, 2009

    His Twicksize is only three inches. See, size DOES matter!

  14. freakishlystrong says at 3:44 pm, January 16th, 2009

    How many “Fuck Yous” could I get in twitter to Dub?

  15. RobPetrified says at 3:52 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Will he be able to read all the FUCK YOUS we leave on Twit-ter from his prison cell?
    I hope OJ butt fucks him DRY every day.
    WHAT?
    Rove isn’t in prison?
    Yet?

  16. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 3:55 pm, January 16th, 2009

    RobPetrified: With Rove, “I beg your pardon” takes on a whole other meaning.

  17. 4tehlulz says at 4:15 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Less than 100 hrs for Pardonpalooza. Will Karl get his, or will W remind him that he’s a prole?

  18. Numbat Dundee says at 4:27 pm, January 16th, 2009

    He’s obviously hanging out with Dick Cheney. In his presence it’s ALWAYS cold.

  19. Capitol Hillbilly says at 4:29 pm, January 16th, 2009

    gosh i will miss them … here is a nice subtle sendoff

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GRR_n_yQGA

  20. Schadenfried says at 4:39 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Suck a dick, Karl.

    That is all.

  21. Hostile Michigander says at 4:50 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Karl should enjoy the cold while he can. It will be plenty warm when he’s burning in Hell.

  22. I’m confused. Is “Let me guess…you like bacon?” a euphemism for buttsecks?

  23. robanybody says at 5:02 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Dick. Eat. You. Karl. What else to say?

    Except: “May you find yourself each night on the nightmare playground of your youth where the guys are still stuffing you upside down into the soccer net and smushing your face into the broad-jump pit and snapping limitless pairs of your glasses, while the girls stand over you, giggling about that nubby lump in your corduroys and shaking their heads at your impossibly fat head and busting out laughing thinking about that one time you TRIED to ask a girl out to the prom and she puked on your shoes…”

    Remember, Karl? How could you forget? It’s what made you what you are.

  24. robanybody says at 5:06 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Except you were already Karl. Which is why the net and the pit and the girls and the shoes.

  25. robanybody says at 5:10 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I hate you, Karl.

  26. 4tehlulz says at 5:12 pm, January 16th, 2009

    C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

  27. Johnny Zhivago says at 5:20 pm, January 16th, 2009

    You know Twitter is a useless piece of shit when David Pogue writes a complimentary article about it in the Times.

  28. robanybody says at 5:28 pm, January 16th, 2009

    4tehlulz: I know, but I really h…

  29. hobospacejungle says at 6:01 pm, January 16th, 2009

    I sent W a good-bye message via Karl. I have to admit I wasn’t very friendly. No biggie, I’m sure it’s stuck somewhere on an RNC hard drive in a basement, right next to a very powerful magnet.

  30. IceCreamEmpress says at 6:04 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Stephen Fry has a million times more Twitter followers than stinky old Karl Rove.

  31. Madeline says at 6:15 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Collecting goodbye messages for W? How many variations on “Sayonara Douchebag” can there be?

  32. Barrett808 says at 7:35 pm, January 16th, 2009

    RobPetrified: Didn’t you hear? Karl turned state’s evidence on Libby, which is why Rove is a free man today. He was sentenced to ignominy in various liberal media outlets.

  33. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 8:48 pm, January 16th, 2009

    Cue the Phantom of the Opera music. There’s no sunshine in Rove’s soul.

  34. sanantonerose says at 1:08 am, January 17th, 2009

    BadKitty: WIN

  35. BlueAlert says at 1:53 pm, January 18th, 2009

    There goes the neighborhood.

  36. Karl can twitter from Leavenworth about his buttsecks with dickey and georgie.

  37. orbit222 says at 9:18 am, January 23rd, 2009

    log out!!! log out!!!! Wonkette is on the radar!!! The doughy storm troopers are coming- all is lost.

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