Wonkette
IMPORTANT SEXYTIME INFORMATION: Okay so a full 10.9 million people plan on attending Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball tomorrow night at the yoga studio of the Washington Times‘ Liz Glover. Hooray! A few people have asked questions. (1) There is no “dress code,” so wear jeans or other common pants, or skirts, and festive tops. (2) We will have a few kegs but all liquor is BYO. (3) If you vomit on the floor then your full name and occupation will be posted on this website. Ha! What fun we shall have! [FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE]
Wonkette is buying some decent liquor, I will have it delivered tomorrow afternoon.
We who cannot be there expect LOTS of pictures to be posted. Somewhere.
I am forever pissed I live on the Left Coast and can’t go. I need a complete rundown of all alcohol-fueled activities plz. Hooray! Pink-and-Green Barbie Cam pics for all! Miniature flags for others.
That sounds like a lot of fun because I can drink a LOT of keg beer.
OT but Rachel Maddow looks like she was rode hard & put up wet tonight–like maybe she was rescuing those folks off the plane herself. You can tell she’s a gay woman because she doesn’t give a shit what she looks like.
Oh, the hangovers of which you shall all regale us with on Saturday afternoon.
Ken Layne: I’ll send you my address.
good, all i have are “festive tops.”
Ken Layne: To Columbus, Ohio????
Bless you Ken! Bless You!
~
Ken Layne: In order to pay for this liquor, will Wonkette readers have to look at the giant visage of Lou Dobbs or Wolf Blitzer in ad format? If so, I say serve MadDog & Tickle Pink.
Texan Bulldoggette: For real. Something tells me Jim Webb had to hit a bitch after last night’s interview. Did anybody else see him backing away from the old flaming liberal Jim Webb and morph into the Hopey style pragmatic and fuzzy Jim Webb. Get better, Rache.
Texan Bulldoggette:
So ….. my ex wife was gay? She didn’t give a shit what she looked like and was far more interesting than KO’s bitch.
I ain’t to that fag filled gay wonkette party.
I’d kinda like to drop in, but I’m sort of socially awkward and stuff (when sober, anyway). Luckily, I can bring my wife, who tends to be the “public face” of our relationship. But she doesn’t even know about Wonkette, and I’m not entirely convinced she can relate to our special brand of snark.
Plus, since I’m not a single fellow, I won’t be able to partake of the free-anal-on-the-first-date (where this party counts as a “date”) that would naturally be implied. So that kinda sucks. Also.
Oh, wait, I heard the “also” meme is kind of played out. I propose a new post-ending meme:
“Also, he fucks kids.”
May Furries bring fermented llama milk?
No, seriously. Might have to restock.
General (Ret.) Michael Hayden, USAF, tells me that I am shut off.
Creepy bastard.
Uncommon Nonsense: No worries. Finger-banging is universally accepted, nay, expected, at these sort of events. Don’t bring the kids, though. Also.
Word on the street has it that Liz’s sister runs with the Repugs. Not that that’s evil or anything. Just sayin’.
bitchincamaro: Your words are plagerized in their entirety from The Confluence. Knew it, just knew it.
I’d love to fly down to be there but the geese are having none of it.
I might be buying a plane ticket for this ast 6 in the morning the day of the event from San Francisco, so I want some fucking prizes. Jim Newell in a big cake would be simply GRAND. SRSLY I AM WASTING $800 fucking dollars on you swine.
shortsshortsshorts: Wifey’s flying from SFO, leaving 8:30 AM on a non-stop to Philly. I’ll fetch her, we drive down to Bawlmer, and maybe onward to DC in time for the party.
If you’re small and limber enough, we can stick you in a suitcase and you can come with!
Is it alright if I bring a sleeping bag and stay for the next couple of years? I’m sure once Liz gets to know me she will be hot for me. I even know a little yoga.
I wish I could make it. I am stuck in NY - current temp 9 degrees. Definately need some pictures on the web site.
I will drink until I throw up in Seattle, just for Wonkette.
Just looked at the people who said “yes” on the Facebook page.
Fucking Christ, at least 3/4 of you are younger than me. I’m 34.
My response would go from “maybe attending” to “definitely attending” if I were single. As it stands, it looks like it’ll be an evening of solid, non-stop, cock-blocking FRUSTRATION.
It’s a great day in Wonkette land! Hoist one for us poor furries in the great American outback while you are indulging in your bacchanalia. This is, honestly, the only time in my entire fucking life I wish I were in DC when I am not–usually it’s the reverse! Cheers to all you misogynist, communist Islamotards!
chascates: Liz Glover is Republican (Bush Sr./Jr.) lobbyist Juleanna Glover’s youngest sister. So let’s speculate how our Liz got her new job with the ultra-conservative Washington Times. Satan? Talent? Or connections? Apres Wonkette, le plus chere camera video.
Liz, Cheney hardly knew ye.
S.Luggo: I just can’t sleep thinking of Liz going over to the dark side. But she probably can’t sleep without money to pay her heating bills so there’s that.
Uncommon Nonsense: I am pretty sure half of them look younger than me and I am 23. Snark and buttsecks must cause you to age well.
Alas, I shall be drinking alone on the frozen hellscape known as real America.
A curse upon the house of HipHopOpotamus for leaving her DC-area home for college.
If MadDog’s unavailable, or if you have an undeniable need for the 1,333% daily value of Ginseng within 1 serving of an alcoholic drink for under $2, I highly suggest Joose.
Isn’t Yoga like the Kama Sutra but without the happy ending. Anyways, I won’t be able to make it. But good luck Liz. I will miss your beaming grin contrasted against the beltway celebs shocked counenances. Say hi to Rev. Moon. And good luck on any future mass marriages.
Ah, hell with it, I’ll see if I can drag wifey over. She’ll have just flown in from San Franpsycho to Philly, then been subjected to my psychotic driving to Baltimore (with a requisite stop at the “supermarket of liquor” just across the DE line, in honor of Biden, of course), a quick “nice to see you again!” buttsecks session at home in Baltimore, and then on we’ll go to my hometown of DC. (Yeah, there’s actually a few of us who really are originally FROM the District.)
I will then proceed to be 0.00003% as outgoing, talkative, and personable as I am online, because that is the duality of me. Or something.
Wish I could be there, but as I’m in Australia, it’s a bit far to come for one night, even with free beer. I’ll just have to do my drinking here. Oh well, the 14 hours a day of warm sunshine we’re getting just now will have to be my compensation. ‘Scuse me while I go make a mango daiquiri.
I just looked at the Facebook page and there are some very cute guys going. Now I’m extra disappointed I can’t go because I’m stuck up in a Canadian canoe with a moose and we’re making a mix tape for Barry.
It’s more of a conglomeration of dildos than a Swearing In of a Mooslim.
where the swag?
This is way off topic, but Paul Krugman has a wonderful column in today’s NYT about why there should be an official investigation of the Bush administration for torture, misleading the US into war, insider trading with war profiteers, etc.
You guys are so screwed. Good luck!
“Other common pants”.
Roadkill chaps. Yahoo.
“festive tops”.
Why was “ye olde” omitted before that phrase?
Such prudes.
Yoga and Facebook and beer! Oh, my!
It all sounds lovely. You young people enjoy yourselves.
I plan to ring out the old regime and ring in the new with lots of dinners and drinking with friends who would never suspect the things I do with you people. I’m paying special attention to a handsome older guy who lives in my building, AKA my house.
The cats are already dressed in flowing coronation robes so they can get into the festive spirit of this weekend.
Rock on.
On Tuesday I’m going to make a big pot of homemade chicken soup- symbolic of letting the healing begin. You whippersnappers go make memories worth having - and remember, no glove, no love.
I demand tag-line royalties. You can give me beer at your balls.
Aurelio: IMO, that subject is the de facto topic underlying all other topics. Until further notice.
Pictures, please. With close-ups on the sticky labels thai say “Hello, my name is…”
I will be there in spirit, or at least in lust.
Between the cold and the geese, I’ll be staying in the “non-election” state of Michigan, but when I drink, I have a substantial psychic connection to my great fellow Wonketeers who are out there partying with lIZ and Michelle and the rest of the Obama mamas….in fact, I think I’ll start drinking now…sure….hey, party….
I take it the “No Sarah Palin Costume” rule is still in effect?
Uncommon Nonsense: When in Philly, go to anywhere but Pat’s Steaks or Geno’s.
Schadenfried: you bethcha!
Texan Bulldoggette: No no. Thunderbird is a much smoother bev. Mind you, in order to truly bring the sexy, you can’t beat Colt 40s.
Schadenfried: Former Jerseyite here, so I know all too well. I’ve actually never been to either, having been charmed by Jim’s Steaks early on.
Schadenfried: D’Alessandro’s used to be the only place I’d go to, but now the family sold it and it’s already gone downhill…
I just noticed that the facebook invite was changed from “erotic party” to “mixer”
The attendees on Facebook appear to be the age of my grown children- but one attendee and I share a number of “friends”. Think I’ll just stay home and watch the retirement channel
Schadenfried: They get the major publicity but are not really good. Pretty funny Gourmet magazine did a piece on steak sandwiches in Philly(and nearby burbs) this month. A few years ago, Gourmet had a piece on Sarcone’s Deli(down the street from the bakery).
WILL MICHELLE MALKIN AND ANN COOTLER AND JESSICA CUTLER AND JULIE MYERS AND SARAH PALIN AND DANA PERINO BE THERE?!?!?!?!?!?!
WE WANT MICHELE MALKIN THERE!
–Friends of Michele Malkin
Texan Bulldoggette: No no: I’m quite straight and often don’t care what I look like. I clean up for the boyfriend, though. Some of us are just lazy. NOT that I’m proposing Rachel M. is straight. No no!
Uncommon Nonsense: That okay, you can just be the quiet guy with a borderline social-anxiety disorder who hugs the wall and mumble-smirks a nervous “hi” to whoever stumbles over his feet; it’s an important role — every party needs one!
pinkdc: Mr Blifil: Uncommon Sense: finallyhappy: A guy I used to volunteer in the theater with told me a story about how he and his friend used to go to Pat’s in their college days, one friend got a cheesesteak with a hair in it, and when he brought it bag, the guys at Pat’s gave him shit for it.
I’m partial to Jim’s myself.
Forgot to add, don’t go to any of the cheesesteak tourist traps in Old City either ie, Campos.
Okay so I hate you all and I’m mad. But i’m in the airport bar getting prefunked for my flight to Virginia.
I won’t make a habit of doing this but I’m blogging this adventure and anyone that wants to read feel free.
http://kevotronsangryshouting.blogspot.com/
I don’t moderate comments cuz fuck that. Snark is appreciated. Expect some sappy posts and lots of kevotron blubbering and crying. That is all. I’m going to take zie plane now.
I think I am going to attend. I am quite sure NO ONE will know that I am there, but I think it is kind of cool that the Wonkette community will be in one place. Of course, I suspect some LNS moles will be in attendance…ummm…also.
The people watching will be great and I am curious if the snark-level will be as high in person and if so, will it end up with some sort of wrestling match.
Lastly, it’s going to be f’ing cold, will we be able to do some down dogs to keep warm?
AfghanVet: OK, we were not coming because I am wimpy, go to sleep early, and it will be cold (like, 9 degrees cold), but now that I know you will be there….but if I don’t know who you are….ack, the paralysis of indecision.
Doglessliberal: Short guy, graying blonde hair, smirking as I try to look like I didn’t come alone.
AfghanVet: none of us is alone when we are among Wonkettards.
um, so is shorts coming? I see kev-o-tron is… the ‘mixer’ was posted on some website called brightest young things. Is that like Late Night Shots? cause they don’t do anal on the first date.
saradc: “Is that like Late Night Shots? cause they don’t do anal on the first date.”
Maybe they are more hipster?!